My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4^th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…”

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2^nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart