Month: May 2019

Dusk/Nightfall: Time to Replenish

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You know morning comes again after the darkness. And you still yourself and endure just a little while longer. The moon and the ever-changing sky palette were a perfect recap to this full week. Taking a moment to savor my progression was a welcome respite.

I took time for my cardio activity, not being concerned about anyone else for that 30 minutes. It wasn’t selfish; it was restorative. As an adult, I’ve come to realize that while my matriarchal role models could nurture the ever-living daylights out of someone (or everyone in their sphere of influence), they didn’t generally model self-care effectively – or at all. So I’m learning (of a necessity) how to do this now. Acknowledging that taking care of others doesn’t have to occur at the expense of neglecting myself. Balance is possible – when you make it an intentionally incorporated part of the process – it doesn’t happen on its own!  

Sometimes my own self-care is the best of intentions with weak (or no) execution. Sometimes it’s trial-and-error. But sometimes – like today – I nail it! So I celebrate my success without guilt. Because what good am I to others if there’s nothing left to give? Exactly…

How can you intentionally celebrate your own prelude to joy this week? Give it some thought. Feel free to share in the comments if you’d like.

“5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper.
11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
(Psalm 30:5, 10-12 KJV)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Bunny Watch: Seek & Find

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I enjoyed the music of the spheres during my Friday evening “nature walk.” The flitting fowls, scampering squirrels, buzzing bees, wriggling worms (I could’ve done without them, but hey, they’re part of the ecosystem, too), and the general hum of life away from civilization. For this moment, I opted for the steady hum of nature’s energy instead of the contrivance of my phone and its music. And I was content to soak it all in.

Additionally, I was in “bunny watch” mode; I think it’s so funny to see those critters in the most unexpected spots, either nestled amongst the landscape or nearly camouflaged. I went with the intention of seeing some bunnies – and my diligence at the end of the workweek was rewarded. Seek and ye shall find…sharing the cuteness because I like bunnies, yes I do…I like bunnies – how about you?

Elton Bunny

“11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
(Jeremiah 29:11-13 KJV)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Sterile/Sterilized Relationships

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Tough to admit to myself – let alone to others, but I realize after reading Matthew 18:15 that I’ve pretty much had an emotional condom at the ready in most of my friendships – just in case things got heated! Not wanting to be fully transparent and unable to yield to complete intimacy for fear of being unliked, unaccepted, misunderstood, or just downright rejected. Trying to protect myself from as-yet-unhappened hurts (but bracing for their potential occurrence). That’s why I wore a mask and tried to only show the “good parts” of me. But that’s unreal. Not human. Did that make me an alien? LOL. No, but it did contribute to the existence of a very tormented, agonizing human.

Trying to broker all these moving pieces in multiple dynamic relationships was like spinning a bunch of plates. And when the exhaustion of trying to manage the not-meant-to-be-managed process caused me to fray, I went kaput and the gears stopped turning and the wheels ground to a screeching halt. The plates began to crash as I no longer had the energy to meticulously attend to each one wobbling out of control – just beyond my grasp and inability to “fix it.”  And I was left to examine myself, and the trail of fragmented relationships strewn on the path behind me.

Then a funny thing happened: God caused me to start revisiting those relationships. Not to reopen old wounds, but for the purpose of closure. So I could see that – even in the midst of my own imperfections, shortcomings, and mistakes (of which there are many) – He was able to bring healing to my broken places if I would but allow Him access. Vulnerable place? You betcha. But it’s where I find myself. And when you come to understand that being on the Potter’s wheel is exactly where He wants you so He can fashion an even more exquisite vessel out of the disparate pieces of your life, a certain level of peace comes. I remain in progress and in process…

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
(Matthew 18:15)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Offline for System Maintenance

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marred – spoiled, corrupted, ruined, injured, rotted

Preventive maintenance is better than a partial – or total – system failure (and subsequent shutdown)…mayday, mayday! Alert! Caution! Pay attention!

Though both scenarios involve not being able to access the system, when unavailability is planned, you can better prepare and respond. Making advanced arrangements and calculated adjustments can be smoother than in-the-moment, real-time reactions.

The off duty bus displays an “Out of Service” sign. Bathrooms do, too. “Closed for repairs.” “Pardon our progress.” So can a person hang an “Under Construction” sign around their neck? I’m just sayin’…it behooves us to be mindful of where people are in their process of being formed – or reformed – for the Master’s use and good pleasure.

“And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.”
(Jeremiah 18:4)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Applying Emotional Baggage Depilatory

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depilatory – a cream or lotion for removing unwanted hair

Removing excess emotional baggage can be cumbersome.
However, the process can be abbreviated with some well-applied wisdom…kinda like hair removal.
Sorta. Like if you squint one eye and look real hard…

This week, I made significant personal process in purging out some old mindsets, thought patterns, and behaviors. This advancement was accompanied by intentionally doing some new and unfamiliar activities. For instance, take my experience today of using a cream hair removal product for the first time in my life. A friend told me she recently used some on her elementary school-aged daughter’s underarms. I’d shaved my underarms since high school (thanks, show choir costumes), but I stopped a few years ago because of discomfort from bumps due to ingrown hairs (no doubt, my cheap, dull razors contributed to this quandary). Since I was recently blessed with some new sleeveless dresses by friends cleaning out their closets, I figured I’d test out the product, and picked up a bottle for less than $5 this afternoon.

I carefully read the directions before showering: Apply a thick layer of cream for 3 minutes. Do not leave on for longer than 10 minutes. Not for use on face. Wipe off gently with a rag and rinse. Do not rub. Got it.

While waiting for the product to work, I planned to roll my hair. But first, I washed my face, and then I determined to make sure to wash my hands thoroughly after applying the product to my underarms. I got downright tickled thinking, “Hmmm, if there’s product residue on my hands, I certainly don’t want to see a patch of hair on my head sliding off before Sunday Service!” So I washed my hands a second time just to be on the safe side (and avoid a replay of the Hot Pepper Hands incident). An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

I proceeded to roll my hair without incident. Once I got into the shower, I followed the gentle wiping directions, and voilà, off slid my underarm hair! My underarms looked good upon closer inspection with my magnifying mirror. Only after the process did I learn of what creates the hair removal miracle: a strong and alkaline-based product is placed on the unwanted hair, and it processes hair into a jelly-like substance. I didn’t expect to have a science experiment in my shower, but I’m glad it was uneventful.

After a few online searches, I learned that epilation removes the entire hair at the follicle level (from the root), while hair is removed only to the surface with depilation, Which means, I’m gonna have to revisit any hair that grows back – or emotional baggage that lingers. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. For the time being, I’m enjoying being a few clumps of hair lighter as I lay out my sleeveless dress for tomorrow – I can raise my arms without a second thought…no small forests here; the underbrush has been removed! Ironic that God had me try this new hair removal product as I was clearing out my emotional cache? No way! He is most strategic and intentional…by design. He knew this was gonna happen wayyyyy before I did (the hair removal AND the emotional baggage clean-up). #Grateful

“18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.”
(Matthew 7:18-19)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart