Change & Transformation

Heart Conditioning: Wake Up Those Lazy Muscles!

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Ummm, hello?  Is this thing on?  Do I hear crickets chirping?  Has anyone missed hearing from me via this blog?  Oh well…I’ll just assume that you have.  Good news:  I’m back – after a brief hiatus from writing so I could LIVE what I was talkin’ about…so lemme hear from you about what’s going on in your corner of the world!  I wrote this last month, so I’m posting it for September…  Blessings, Kayren 🙂

The heart is a muscle – and you have to work it.  Today, I purposed to do the elliptical for 20 minutes (okay, I intended to do 30 minutes, but given that I wanted to STOP after 5 minutes, I think I did pretty well).  So when I left work 3 minutes late, I had no problem jogging to the train and then sprinting the last few feet to catch the train that would keep me on schedule for picking up my children on time. 

I have to condition my heart over time – and train it to operate and function properly.  And that takes WORK and consistency!  No, it isn’t easy sweating in the gym, but I do it because I want the results.  So we must do the same thing to keep our hearts clean, clear, and pure before the Father – forgiving, repenting, and walking in love.

What heart conditioning will you do today?

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”

(Psalm 51:10)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Embracing Maturity

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This July was full of blogworthy events, but you didn’t hear from me because I’ve been honeymooning with my spouse!  While the little ones visited their grandparents in another state for an entire month, hubby and I took that opportunity to focus on each other (without reminding children to take their baths, clean their rooms, finish their veggies, or stop giggling and go to bed NOW!) and build our marriage.  Though we’ll enthusiastically celebrate our 10-year anniversary in a few months, it’s important for couples to regularly build in time for reflection, restoration, and rejuvenation.  You wouldn’t believe how routine can turn into a rut that wears you down!

On the eve of my children returning from their away-from-home adventures, I anticipate that they’ve grown a lot and learned many new things they’ll be eager to share.  I’m somewhat of a “helicopter parent,” so it took maturity on my part to let them go.  However, our job as parents is to train our children and prepare them to be functional and successful without us – that’s what a healthy growing up experience is all about.  My youngest child was homesick the first week, but I knew that exposure to a different environment would help her to be well-rounded (especially since she’ll transition from daycare to kindergarten over the next three weeks).  We don’t always get to choose our surroundings, so it’s good to learn how to adapt.   I know she has matured.  My oldest child seems to thrive when meeting new people, so I think he probably enjoyed not having me hovering over him; I’m learning to give him room to spread his wings (while still setting boundaries and parameters, of course!). 

They’re excited about seeing their redecorated room, and I look forward to seeing their beach-tanned faces and getting big hugs!  We all made it through summer vacation, and we have maturity to show for it.  We’ll give each other grace as we transition back into working as a unit – and with patience, we’ll get acclimated to the changes we’ve each undergone in one month.  We’re supposed to grow, develop, and mature – God didn’t call us to stay the same…in the spiritual realm or in the natural realm.  So don’t fight the situations that are causing you to stretch beyond your comfort zone!  God is maturing you for His purposes.  🙂

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

(II Peter 3:18)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Extraction: It’s Gotta GO!

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I finally had my two upper wisdom teeth removed last week (after my dentist has been trying to separate them from me for at least four years).  They weren’t giving me trouble, but she found a cavity on one during my recent routine cleaning and told me that I just needed to get rid of them; they could cause me more trouble later.  So I sheepishly scheduled the appointment with the oral surgeon.  Isn’t that like so many other things in life?  We put off dealing with the inevitable, only to find out – too late – that a situation has exacerbated, festered, become infected, or just gotten downright outta control.  Then we wish we’d taken care of it when we first saw evidence of the issue.  And why was I holding onto a potential problem anyway???  No rational reason except for upholding the status quo…I’ve always had these teeth.

I don’t really look forward to pain (or even discomfort), so I decided not to think about what it would feel like to just do what I needed to do and get those teeth removed.  I truly had the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) before, during, and after the entire procedure; I know the prayers of the saints were at work on my behalf.  And because I opted for IV sedation, I don’t remember a thing…it was absolutely beautiful.  But I had to go through the process for those teeth to be removed.  Thankfully, my recovery was speedy – bleeding had stopped within 24 hours, and I was eating mashed potatoes within two days.  Armed with my new mindset and determined to eat healthier, chicken broth became a delicacy as I waited for my tender tissues to heal.

What has to “go” from your life for you to line up with God’s plan for you?  The Holy Spirit will strengthen you to let go of the things that are hindering you from growing, developing, and maturing into who God is calling you to be.  Granted, you will have to yield and change, but the results will be worth whatever sacrifices you make.  Just ask me as I appreciate how much my fresh gums have in common with my 7 year-old’s these days…I know I lost a few pounds last week! 🙂

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

(Mark 11:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Honest Accountability: Effective Leadership in Action

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accountable – responsible, answerable, liable

dependable – trustworthy, reliable, conscientious, sensible, mature

Whether we like it or not, we all have to answer to somebody.  Though we don’t care to admit it, we need to be accountable to others – it keeps us honest.  Our Pastor has the right (and the responsibility) to hold us accountable to the standard of God’s Word, the Holy Bible.  As parents, we must hold our children accountable to being obedient to our instructions.  Our managers provide us with mid-year and annual performance reviews, and sometimes give more frequent feedback.  Many people have to clock-in for work on a daily basis, creating a documented track record that can be reviewed at any time.  Friends can be our accountability partners for fitness goals or lifestyle changes when we check in regularly to share our triumphs and challenges.  The baseline for all of these relationships?  Honesty.

What good is telling someone something if it isn’t true?  One thing I’m learning from Weight Watchers: the scale doesn’t lie!  I can choose not to track or write down a high-calorie item and kinda attempt to “fudge” my numbers (pun intended!); but in the end, the truth reigns.  So I may as well be honest with myself to begin with, then start making healthier choices.  In turn, it becomes easier to be honest and transparent in my relationships with others.  From my husband to my personal fitness trainer to my Sales Director in Mary Kay – accountability is built into systems all around me.  But I know it’s for my benefit.  Because left to my own devices, I deviate from the best path and meander into justifying behavior that’s undisciplined.  I have proof from previous experiences – and I can’t afford the consequences anymore!

Why do we hesitate to tell others the truth about what we’re really going through?  Because we don’t want to be corrected or instructed in righteousness; we wanna do what we wanna do (hint: that’s the FLESH)!  Before I was committed to changing my eating habits and beginning some semblance of exercising, I didn’t talk about my unhealthy habits to others because I didn’t want them telling me what to do!  The sad thing about that mindset:  it’s counterproductive and detrimental to me, but it also impacts others associated with me.  Most of all, it affects my witness for Christ.  In the Body of Christ, we are interconnected, so how can I think my actions are isolated?  They are not.

I know it’s been several weeks since I blogged, but I’ve been digging in to make some seriously positive changes in my life.  And I’m glad to be in the process of aligning my walk with my talk.  How about you?  Be honest…with yourself, and with others.  Allow God to lead you in the way that is right.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

(Psalm 119:105)

 “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”

(Galatians 5:16)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Resistance is Futile: Just Obey!

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How many times do we hear God speaking to us, sense the Holy Spirit nudging us to go a certain way, and we do exactly the opposite?  I had an important reminder of the importance of obedience this week.  Actually, I’ve had a LOT of reminders recently (like blinking neon signs!), but I’m just writing about a couple today.  🙂

I decided to drop some bags off at my office early in the morning before hopping on the train so I wouldn’t have to lug them all over tarnation.  Reasonable enough, right?  Well, there was a red “No Parking” sign affixed to the meter in front of my building (that wasn’t there the LAST TIME I dashed in); during morning rush hour, no parking was permitted on this thoroughfare.  Hmmm, drag all these heavy bags for 3 blocks, or rush up to the 23rd floor to drop these off?  I slipped into the parallel parking spot way before 7:30 a.m. as I justified the validity of my risky choice.  I saw a police officer nearby and asked him if it would be okay for me to leave my car for 3 minutes to put the bags into my office; he was “hands-off,” saying he didn’t have anything to do with parking matters, and that I’d be rolling the dice.  (Like he was gonna say, “Go ahead, disobey the law.”) 

I thanked him politely, then darted with my cadre of bags and full-sized umbrella up the elevator shaft, asking the security guard at the front desk to watch my car as I raced by.  Heart rate elevated, I dropped my load and ran back to the elevator and headed for my car.  The security guard said, “You’d better hurry; you’re about to get towed.”  I got to my car just as the parking man (accompanied by the tow truck!) was taking my plate information.  The cherry on top was him saying, “You parked here and the police officer said he told you not to.”  I had no recourse at all.  I humbled myself and said yes sir, thank you, you’re right, I apologize, and got into my car shaking as I drove off.  How would I have explained the car getting towed to my hubby???  I shudder to think…God is truly gracious.

But it didn’t have to be that way.  Had I been obedient in the first place, I would’ve never encountered the parking law enforcer!  No need for an adrenaline rush when we obey – whether it’s God’s laws, or the law of the land.  It really is simple – we just have to obey.  We were created to.  Things work better when we do.

With that said, I am adding an extra layer of accountability as I announce to the blogosphere that I’ve gone from do-nothing to joining a gym AND joining Weight Watchers in less than a week.  Okay, I’ve been resisting the idea while knowing I need to lose weight and start exercising (again) for a very long time, but I finally decided to do something this week.  And it took messages (like blinking neon signs!) from soooo many people God placed in my path to help me get back on the right track.  Making a decision is powerful.  Taking action is even more empowering.  Now that I’m here, I welcome you to join me on my new journey.  I’ll have lots of new stuff to write about, that’s for sure.  I have my first Personal Training session next week.  Stay tuned…

“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”

(II Corinthians 10:4-6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Growth in the Blink of an Eye

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It seems like just yesterday we were watching the mama robin build her nest in a rafter on our front porch.  We marveled at the beautiful little blue eggs, being careful not to disturb “the babies.”  Then they hatched – featherless and funny-looking, big heads and beaks protruding from the nest, begging to be fed whatever their mama brought back for them.  Before I knew it, one was hopping on the walkway.  Though it couldn’t fly, it was out of the nest.  Amazing – it happened so quick!  We mused among ourselves whether it had fallen out or if the mama bird had pushed it out.  Whatever the case, that tiny nest was no place for that bird to make its permanent abode. 

Over the course of a few days or a couple of weeks, all of the birds were out of the nest, and we could see them testing out their wings and swooping through the yard, sometimes in a wobbly pattern.  But they were trying.  Why?  Because they were created to fly, not to sit in a nest they’d outgrown.  Sure, it’s safe and comfortable to stay in the place where you’re nurtured, fed on schedule, and taken care of from morning until night.  However, over time, you are required to take what you’ve learned and apply it.  That process, my friend, is called growth.  I recently had a real-life experience to underscore that lesson. 

When picking up my daughter from daycare one afternoon, I called myself leaving the car door open so she could get in on her own – imagine, a child of mine with an independent streak? Tee hee hee!  I tend to be a “helicopter parent” (hovering over my children – LOL!) and I’m trying to relinquish my tight hold on some of the more mundane tasks of the day.  Kudos, right?  Well, I turned to say something to the daycare provider, and in literally 2 seconds, I heard my daughter cry out in pain.  When I turned my head, she was lying in a fetal position near the rear tire on the driver’s side of the car.  To this day, I don’t know HOW that child fell; her shoes were tied, I don’t think her pants were too long, and I don’t think the earth’s gravitational pull shifted suddenly.  But whatever the reason, she fell and ended up with bloody boo-boos on her elbow and knee (through the clothing…did she lose her balance? I’m still puzzled).  They weren’t life-altering emergencies, but you don’t know how I wished I’d held her hand and walked her to the car, watching her like a hawk (like I usually do)!  Nonetheless, though I want to protect her 24/7, it’s ridiculous to think I can tote a 5 year-old from daycare door to car door every blessed day God gives.  At some point, she’s got to learn to walk on her own.  When she gets hurt, I’m there with the peroxide, antibiotic ointment, band-aids, hugs and kisses.  But to obsess about preventing every accident or growing pain isn’t realistic for me as a parent.  If I’ve taught her well, she’ll apply my lessons and flourish.

Isn’t that how God is with us?  He watches over us, fiercely protecting us from hurt, harm, and danger.  He gives us instructions on moving ahead, going beyond what we know and moving into areas where we have to exercise our faith in HIM knowing the outcome.  We don’t have to figure it out; He’s mapped out our course for us.  When we obey, we’re covered by Him.  What could be better?  We’re not on our own in this day-to-day walk.  When we trip and fall, He’s there to correct us and set us back on the right track.  Praise God!

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

(Psalm 91:1-2)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Consistently Inconsistent?

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Have you ever wondered why you just can’t “keep it all together?”  That thought often comes to me in cycles.  I’ll be doing great (so I think), then all of a sudden (so it seems) – WHAM! – I’m off-kilter and trying to pick up the pieces, get reorganized, and get back on track.  Whether it’s morning devotions, regular exercise, making healthier eating choices, or whatever goes into having a balanced lifestyle that glorifies God in every facet (not just the examples I’m willing to show others!), I know that I must become more consistent in my practices instead of being “hit-or-miss.”

However, I know it’s a process that builds consistency.  And inherent in that process is (ugh!) discipline.  My hubby told me I was just gonna have to learn to love discipline.  Now that seems like an oxymoron to a free-spirited creative type like me, but I know he’s right.  And exhibiting discipline is a manifestation of love.  So just as I discipline my children because I love them and want them to grow up healthy, successful, and making wise decisions, I must discipline myself so I can be who God has called me to be.

As I walk in obedience to God’s Word, I’ll build consistency.  Simple, isn’t it? 🙂  Pray for me as I walk this out – not easy, but very necessary! 

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

(I Corinthians 15:58)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Dressed: God is at Work in Me

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An ornament adorns; it is something one puts on.  This morning, before I was anywhere close to getting dressed, God spoke.  And I listened.  What a blessing for me.  Thought I’d share with you before running off to work…be abundantly blessed.

Get back to the core of who I created you to be – and let nothing and no one but Me define who you are today. You are a work in progress, and I continue to mold, make, form, and shape you for My good pleasure.  Nothing can contain you because I am in you.  Abide in the True Vine (John 15:5) and be nourished and replenished. 

Even as you wonder whether I’d stopped calling you because it had been a while since you sat at my feet and soaked in my presence, amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I say to you that My character of unconditional love won’t permit me to stop calling you, longing after you, desiring to spend quality time with you.  I hear your heart’s cry – even through the clutter of the carnal abyss – and still it beats strongly for Me.  And that delights Me.  It is a good heart condition to have. 

Go forth and greet the day I’ve created just for you – with you in mind as I touched each bird to sing, each ray of sunshine to beam down where you’d be.  You can’t control unconditional love – that’s why tears are leaking from your lids, My daughter.  Even when you feel most miserable and wretched, My love reaches out to you.  Now can you allow My love to do the same thing through you to others?  That is evidence of true growth.

No need to chase the things of this world.  Seek first My kingdom…and all these things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).  There is a tenderness inside you that not many know the depth of.  That’s why you try to cover up and protect yourself with humor or other “shells” – but there’s no need to put up a pseudo-tough exterior façade for Me; I know you – inside out, through and through.  And I love you still.

“Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.”

(Jeremiah 18:3)

 

“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

(I Peter 3:4)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Mothering is an Action Word

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Guess what?  The baby robins have hatched!  After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning.  Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with.  Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides.  This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action.  The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error.  We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering. 

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences!  Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique.  I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold.  I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers.  Just days away from her 5th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes.  She is growing up – and where did the time go?!  Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂  Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.  

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day.  Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day!  May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy.  Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Lasting Change

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It’s slowly dawning on me that I really don’t want the “old way” anymore.  And it’s exciting to see myself changing, because I did the “old way” very well for so long!  This past weekend, I had my first ice cream cone of the year with my family.  And that was it – one ice cream cone after a balanced dinner at home.  No secretly sneaking to eat it alone between meals in a room behind closed doors. (If it sounds like the “old way” took a lot of scheming and energy, go with that – you’re right).  I didn’t revisit the freezer for a 2nd or 3rd cone (glorious change!).  I was truly content with eating in a more healthy way that would profit my body.  I didn’t even feel deprived when I gave my children some ice cream for dessert last night; I passed up my portion. 

Additionally, God made a way of escape for me when my hubby wanted to treat us to Sunday dinner out so I wouldn’t have to cook – he selected a buffet.  I didn’t say anything to him that morning (gotta appreciate your spouse’s thoughtfulness!), but I prayed that God would give me wisdom in selecting foods from the buffet that would glorify Him and not stuff my body full of junk.  And you know what?  By that afternoon, my hubby had changed his mind – without me saying a word (imagine that!).  He decided that we could eat at home, save some dough (yippee!), and I still didn’t have to cook because we’d prepared well a few days before and had plenty in the fridge.  I was so delighted to eat a chicken breast sandwich topped with bleu cheese dressing, fresh spinach, and red grapes at home!  When I remarked to my hubby, “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten something this healthy at the buffet,” he agreed and we both laughed.

I am grateful that God wouldn’t allow me to eat myself to death – literally.  Why?  Because He has a purpose and a plan for my life that I must fulfill.  So it is with you, my friend.  If you’re facing something that seems absolutely insurmountable and you haven’t gotten victory over it the past 10 times you tried to overcome it, I encourage you to try one more time.  But this time, allow God to change your heart (give Him free reign, holding nothing back for yourself) so you can change your mind, and your lifestyle will begin to change.  He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I am a witness!

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart