humility

Talk Back to Your Flesh

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Now WHY does my flesh think it can determine the course of my day based on how IT’S feeling instead of on obedience to God’s Word?  Facing a test isn’t bad – we just have to establish that we’ll pass the test and rely on God’s help to do so!  This week, I found myself having to speak out loud and positively affirm obedient choices:

  • “No, we are NOT going to eat unhealthy fast food.  Yes, we ARE going to eat the healthy, pre-portioned lunch at our desk.”
  • “No, we are NOT going to be slothful.  Yes, we ARE going to exercise – right now.” 
  • “No, we will NOT be impatient and have an attitude with our loved ones.  Yes, we WILL let patience have her perfect work in us.”
  • “No, we are not going to wait until the last minute to leave the house, then arrive late.  Yes, we ARE going to prepare the night before, leave 30 minutes earlier, and arrive not just on-time, but EARLY.”
  • And of course, “No, we are NOT playing Solitaire tonight!  We ARE going to obey the Lord and spend time in His Word.”

Speak the Word of God into your own situation.  You can’t rationalize with the flesh – it will come up with some convincing arguments!  Starve your flesh; counter its wants with what God says you need!  Spiritual warfare at its finest…gird up – game on!

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”

(Romans 13:14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Solitary Confinement: Confessions on Kicking a Bad Habit

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You know, the flesh can talk really loud.  When you try to ignore it, it starts yelling.  Put it into withdrawal from its appetite of choice, and it launches into a full-blown temper tantrum.  Maybe that’s why Paul said, “I die DAILY” in I Corinthians 15:31.  Being “crucified with Christ” is the only way to keep the flesh in check!  The flesh must be starved; otherwise, the more you feed it, the more it wants.  They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes…

I recently rediscovered how competitive I am…with myself.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled up a computer Solitaire game to wind down one evening before bedtime instead of doing a crossword puzzle.  Harmless, right?  So I thought…

Forty minutes later, I had gotten the hang of the scoring mechanism, and I learned how time figured into my score.  And I wanted to beat it.  So I said to myself, “Just one more game…”  But that “one more game” wasn’t enough.  Ten games later (can you say compulsive personality?), I’d won several games, but I still hadn’t beaten my “best score.”  I was giving myself the gift of bags under my eyes, but I was fixed (more like fixated) on my goal.  I’m sure God would appreciate me having that same laser-like focus on His Word.  Imagine – having an addiction to the Word of God; we’d be unstoppable, saints! 

A few days later, my hubby came in to bowl a couple of games on the Wii. He must’ve seen my eyes glazed over as I peered intently at the computer screen, concentrating on winning.  He laughed and said, “You’ve got a Solitaire “jones,” girl!”  As much as I wanted to disagree, I knew he was right.  And I had to break that preoccupation – unproductive “idle” time was was creeping into “idol” territory.  He “sentenced” me to “no Solitaire games at night” for a couple of days straight.  I began to itch.  But I knew it was for my good, since I’d been mega-sleepy the mornings after my private Solitaire tournaments.

One night I was just waiting for him to fall asleep so I could – yep, you guessed it – go play Solitaire.  He put the brakes on that and told me to stay in the bed and channel surf until I got sleepy.  Now I KNOW channel surfing is a waste of time, but here I was stuck with the “lesser of two evils.”  I wasn’t at obsession level with this game (yet), but this seemingly harmless way to spend time had captivated my affections.  I was actually plotting and scheming when I could have my Solitaire time (making provision for the flesh)!  I don’t think the game itself is bad – it just became bad for me because I wasn’t disciplined enough to read my Word first or stop playing after 15 minutes and finish my other evening tasks (making lunches, laying out children’s outfits, loading the dishwasher) like I had some sense.

On yet another evening (I hadn’t learned my lesson yet – this went on about 2 weeks), I tried to circumvent the process of breaking my habit and “having just a li’l bit.”  Yeah right.  Actually, I was just planning to “do my own thing” (Did I really say that?  Yes.  It’s the truth – and that makes us free).  I figured that since I’d be sitting under the hair dryer for an hour, I could play Solitaire (multi-tasking – LOL) – after all, it wasn’t extra time I was spending on the game…it was just time I’d already be awake that I’d be using for personal recreation…right?  WRONG!  Time is God’s gift to me, and if I’m going to be a wise steward over it, I have to use it as HE directs.  Though I’d already set the laptop next to the hair dryer, I said ALOUD, “Flesh, you are NOT going to get what you want this time!.  You are going to read this Sunday School lesson and meditate on the Word of God for the hour you’re under the hair dryer.  This is what we’re gonna eat for the next hour.  You are starving from Solitaire.”  Do you see a theme here?  I had to actively choose righteousness and building up my spirit man.

I could’ve been content that I’d “given up” my spy TV program a couple of months ago.  I could’ve continued to rationalize that I “deserved” some time for a comparably innocuous relaxing activity.  But I was setting myself up for a fall.  When God points something out, He wants us to take action right then.  Nothing should have “beloved” status in our lives but Jesus.  However, is that really the case?  We’re in an information-driven society; would you go through withdrawal if someone took away access to your e-mail, iPod music downloads, cell phone, online social networking, text messages, novels, games, favorite TV programs, etc. for a week?  Be honest…with yourself!

Now I KNOW I’m not the only one who needs to use the invaluable resource of time more productively for God’s glory!  Today, I challenge you to solitary confinement with His Word.  Declare war on a time-waster that has usurped your single-minded attention on and devotion to your First Love!   Deny yourself something that you enjoy and instead, spend that time with your Creator.  You just might be surprised at what He shows you during your time of communing.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

(Galatians 5:24)

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

(James 5:16)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Scary Slimy Carrots: Hearing the Voice of Godly Wisdom

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This is starting to be very repetitious; one would think I’d have this lesson down pat by now, right?  Me too.  But alas, as I gathered my lunch this morning, I righteously reached for some healthy veggies.  This NEW bag of baby carrots was unopened; there were 2 weeks remaining before the expiration date; they didn’t look ashen.  All is safe, n’est-ce pas?  Non!  Au contraire, mon ami!  I suppose the test continues to present itself until you pass it…(sigh). 

As I suspiciously sniffed (multiple times with one raised eyebrow) at the squirrelly texture of the foreign glaze/sludge covering my beloved snack, my daughter said, “I think you should throw that away, Mommy.”  Horror of horrors, if that chile don’t sound like her Daddy! Well, bless the Lord for godly wisdom in its many forms.  For some twisted reason – and against my better judgment, and KNOWING I wouldn’t be eating this forsaken fare – I decided to bring them on to work with me (“just in case” I got hungry and needed a healthy snack was my warped line of reasoning).  Translation: just in case I wanted my hubby to give me that “I told ya so” disapproving look while assuring me he had no problem taking me to get my stomach pumped for my imprudent decision.  But I TOTALLY agreed with her, “You’re right sweetie, those don’t look right at all!”  I couldn’t even bring myself to taste one “just to make sure.”  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something sinister about these innocent-looking veggies lurking in my crisper – skull and crossbones territory.

What is godly wisdom telling you to get rid of today because it’s just not good for you?  Don’t suffer the consequences of disobedience when you can make the right choice God is specifically pointing out with flashing neon lights, red arrows, loud bells and whistles, and “Bridge Out Ahead” signs.  Keep it simple – obey God’s voice…whomever you hear it through.

“…and a little child shall lead them.”

(Isaiah 11:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Ignoring the Obvious: Do You Hear What I Hear?

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On an old SNL skit, whenever someone said something displeasing or annoying while she was supposed to be providing customer service, “The Vancome Lady” character (aptly played by Nicole Sullivan) would to cover her ears, look away, and say loudly, “La la la la la la la la la – I’m not listening to you!  La la la la la la la la la…”

I had an “ah-ha” moment the other day when I realized I’d been doing this to God…and it wasn’t funny.  I was drinking a glass of water when I acknowledged that I hadn’t heeded what He said a long time ago that I’d made food an idol (among other things).  “Surely not me, Lord!  You can’t possibly be referring to me,” I reasoned.  But indeed, He had my name, address, and zip code – He knew exactly and precisely to whom He was speaking.  And He was right.  But I had been in denial.

When we ignore someone, we imply by our actions that we esteem them lightly – if we esteem them at all.  We disregard them and everything they stand for and represent.  Take inventory of your own attitude to see if you’ve scornfully despised, disdainfully disrespected, discounted, overlooked, passed over, written off, cancelled, or nullified someone God put into your space for a specific purpose in this season.

A wise son heeds his father’s advice.  So it is with us as children of the Most High.  Why should He dispense the wisdom of the ages when we won’t obey?  We must take obedient action; we’re accountable for what we’ve heard through God’s Word and His ambassadors.

“I spake unto thee in thy prosperity; but thou saidst, I will not hear. This hath been thy manner from thy youth, that thou obeyedst not my voice.”

(Jeremiah 22:21)

 “Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.”

(Mark 13:33)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Obscured by the Light of Christ

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During lunchtime, I ran into someone I’d worked with over a year ago.  Neither one of us realized the other still worked at the company.  When he walked away to get his lunch, he said, “Okay, bye Terri; good seeing you!”  I smiled and waved goodbye and didn’t bother to correct him, because it really didn’t matter that he didn’t know my name.

How many times are we willing to humble ourselves and be subject to someone else’s name – specifically, the Name of Christ Jesus?  Can someone “slip up” and call you by His Name?  Do your actions and attitudes reflect Him positively?  Let His light outshine you…

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

(John 3:30)

“Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.”

(Colossians 3:2-4)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change My Heart, O God

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…”

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Flip Side: What Am I Allowing God to Press INTO Me?

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the second week…be honest as you challenge yourself to answer the title question. 

Obedience at the moment I hear His voice, not just waiting until I feel like it.  “Feeling like it” may never come…leading to procrastination and other delays, deferments, and distractions.

In the past, I’ve talked about it, agonized over it, had angst about it…but now, it’s time to DO IT!  What is “it?” Whatever He says.  I used to sort and classify things into categories by desirability, ease of completion, and my perception of how urgent it was to complete the task at hand – those were my unspoken mental criteria.

  • So to replace slothfulness, I’m allowing God to press DILIGENCE into me.
  • For my inconsistency based on feelings and circumstances, I’m allowing God to press HIS CONSISTENCY and FAITHFULNESS (reliability, dependability, stability, steadiness) into me.
  • Every time I consider putting off something “just for a few minutes,” I’m learning the “forced behavior” of DO IT NOW.  (i.e., Loading the dishwasher right after finishing dinner instead of “sitting down” first, biting the bullet and cleaning the bathroom now instead of waiting for the weekend, or not snoozing the alarm on my online calendar when it pops up a reminder task).  Because little things add up into a big mountain over time.  Speaking of which…
  • Instead of keeping and holding onto inconsequential “stuff,” I’m learning to LET IT GO.  This is working for physical clutter as well as emotional baggage.

 I’ve written about many of my issues in my blog – now, it’s just time to do it:  OBEY.  I’m allowing God to press OBEDIENCE to His will into me.  It is a flesh-killing experience that’s often unpleasant, requires sacrifice, and is unconcerned for my personal comfort.  But it’s necessary if I am to reflect His character.

How can I expect Him to multiply the work of my hands and make me fruitful if I’m not working, being lethargic, idle, and lazy…just delaying the inevitable?  I don’t have the false luxury of saying, “Yes Lord, I’ll do it…in a minute!”  That’s ridiculous, and it’s time out for me playing with HIS resources – including air to breathe, good health, loving family, time that HE loaned me on the earth, etc.

“That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;”

(Colossians 1:10)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

What Am I Allowing God to Press OUT of Me?

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the first week…be honest as you challenge yourself to answer the title question. 

Where to begin?!  Oh so many issues come to mind that God is dealing with me about, but perhaps they are just surface symptoms of a deeper root cause…

Thinking I have options when I really do not.  Then I put things off.  Then weeks, months, years later, they’re still undone.  Not intending to procrastinate, but getting easily distracted from the task at hand…the list goes on and on.

What am I allowing God to press out of me?  Not putting Christ first with my time.  It’s not that I’m not working for Him – because I am.  I believe He’s quite pleased that I take my responsibility of having a husband and two children seriously, because my first ministry is home.  I believe He is honored that I am actively working my ministry at church, and I’m engaged with the Body of Christ and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters.  Outside of home and church, I intentionally live my life in a way that my witness speaks (without words) that I have a relationship with Jesus.  I want people to see a woman of integrity who doesn’t put herself in questionable or “gray” situations.  I make myself available to encourage others in their walk with Christ.  So where am I missing the mark?

Is He first, primary, chief, initial, principal, foremost, top?  Does He get the daily Quiet Time with me He so desires with me daily?  Sadly, no.  I’m completely inconsistent with it.  My mouth says, “Lord, I love You!”  But looking at the way my day is spent doesn’t always include dedicated time in the Word or being quiet long enough to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.  Which inevitably leads to me taking on too many tasks, doing things first that aren’t the highest priority, and being disorganized or just downright out of order.  All because I didn’t hear – then heed – His instructions for that day.

Meditating on His Word in the car is good.  I believe He’s glad I do that.  But it’s like living on appetizers; at some point, you’re going to need nourishment from a balanced meal.  So I’ve been snacking on snippets of sermons during my commute instead of taking time to dig into His Word for myself.  Like the Good Shepherd that He is, He has continued to feed me.  But I’m mature enough to be able to get some meat for myself instead of relying on fajita skewers someone else has prepared.

And so the press comes to correct me.  Repeatedly.  Since this is something I’ve dealt with for years, maybe He wants to remove it completely instead of watching me continue to nurse a wound that scabs over, then I hide it under clothing instead of allowing it to heal completely – from His expert touch.  So I guess that’s me presumptuously thinking I know better than God for my life.  Is that ridiculous?  Extremely.  Does that make me disobedient?  Yes.  Am I repentant?  Absolutely.  Will I do something different this week?  I already have – starting now.  Because “not being a morning person” is neither a valid, legitimate, nor acceptable excuse for a soldier in the army of the Lord not reporting to get the day’s marching orders.

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.”

(Philippians 3:14-15)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

French Press for Dummies

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With all of the “how-to” books written on a remedial level to help the simplicity-challenged, I propose a new title:  French Press for Dummies.  Why, you may ask?  It’s a funny thing…

I’m not a big coffee person (I prefer cocoa), but since my hubby is, I make his coffee in the morning so he doesn’t have to dish out budget-zapping change to SBUX or McD’s.  Being the deal-seeker that I am, I got a big ol’ vat o’ Folgers when it was on sale at the grocery store…only to realize (too late – at home) that it was on sale for cheap because it wasn’t instant coffee.  And I’d broken the pot to the coffeemaker many moons ago.  So what was I to do with all of this coffee and no machine?

It took a friend with a law degree to unpuzzle me.  She recommended a French press for getting some use (and tastier coffee) out of those grounds.  I’d never heard of one, but she told me it was really simple to use.  I like simple (a LOT), so I gave her money…and within a week, she’d found one for under $5 – great, right?  Wrong – I was befuddled and my hubby was caffeine-deprived for several days.  My quandary?  The Folgers directions gave measurements for preparing a 6 oz. cup of coffee.  The French press gizmo directions gave measurements for “1 scoop per 4 oz. of water.”  Powerless to reconcile the ratio of water to coffee grounds, I was stuck.  As in “fork in the road, don’t know which way I’m going, and my written directions just flew outta the sunroof – so I’ll just pull over on the side of the road until I figure out what to do next” stuck.  (Yes, that really happened to me – I’m directionally-challenged, too…but that’s another story for another day).  With my inability to convert simple math for a cup o’ joe, you wouldn’t think I work at a bank, right?  Or these days, maybe you would.  Nevertheless…

When she came to visit me about 2 weeks after she’d givien me the French press, I sheepishly admitted my ignorance and confessed that I’d been terrified to do it wrong, so I hadn’t made any coffee with it yet.  She patiently illuminated the process (by telling me to go with the Folgers directions), and I was happy to finally make 8 oz. of coffee quite easily – whew!  Yay – problem solved!  And it was tastier than instant coffee, so it was worth the wait.

Why do we get frustrated when we don’t know what’s coming next?  Do we have a problem asking for help?  Will it really hurt to admit that we don’t know everything?  We are “in the press” because God is always at work in His children. Let us continue to allow Him to press us for His glory.

p.s.  A special shout out to my “smarty pants” sistahfriend in the blogosphere – the highest-paid corporate barista out there!  No shame if they ask you to get their coffee even though you have a graduate degree.  Just laugh all the way to the bank while you provide service with a smile.  If they wanna pay multiple thousands of dollars a year for someone to get their coffee, who are we to question?!

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 3:13-14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Soul Hunger: What Are You Starving For?

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Nearly two years ago,  I was terrified when my Pastor assigned me a specific song to learn.  I didn’t really have a hunger for holiness; I guess I figured if I got in the vicinity of holiness most of the time, I was doing pretty good.  But that wasn’t God’s standard.  Holiness is God’s standard.  So my Pastor handed me a CD about a month ago and asked me to call him for my assignment after I’d listened to it.  I should’ve expected it, but I was caught off guard.  As I popped the CD in while driving home from church, it took me about 40 seconds to realize, “Hey, this is the same song that I’d been running from two years ago.”  Obviously, I didn’t run fast enough.  Clearly, nobody can outrun God or His will.  So what’s the title of the song that caused me to tremble when I thought about me having to sing it?  “Hunger for Holiness” popularized by Helen Baylor.  Who knows – if I’d taken the assignment seriously when he FIRST gave it to me, maybe I wouldn’t need Weight Watchers…

I had to swallow my fear of “what next?” in order to tackle this assignment with the right mindset and attitude.  Because as much as it might bless others, I know that I will also be blessed when I obey the Lord.  God wants me to be able to minister every song I sing with conviction – which means I first have to experience the song before I can ever convince someone else to become a partaker of its message.  I hadn’t denied my flesh any food it wanted in quite some time.  So my course of preparation to minister this song effectively entailed feeling hunger.  Because I hadn’t allowed myself to be hungry in a while.  My hips are a witness…

So regardless of the day’s circumstances (which included a church gathering that ended with a nice buffet lunch), I consecrated myself to God and asked Him to birth the truth of this song in my spirit.  And He was faithful to fulfill my request because it was in line with His will!  He kept me so safe under the shadow of His wing that I didn’t even consider reneging on my vow while doing the weekly grocery shopping or when a friend came over to the house and made dinner for my entire family.  Because it’s not really about food at all; it’s about my relationship with Him, and whether I’m putting Him first – before anything else I want.

I procrastinated learning that song for weeks, months, and years.  And now I’m at the place of repentance.   In spite of the fact that I’m just a vessel created for HIS glory, in essence, I had told the Master, “You’ll have to wait until I’m comfortable and ready to sing this song, even if You have a plan to use it to touch someone’s life in a powerful way.”  How presumptuous of me – the vessel – to tell the Master Potter, “You should make me into this, and this is how I think You should use me, Lord!”

I diligently practiced all week.  So slothfulness was part of my procrastination?  Yeah.  Cute, right?  NOT!  Unintentionally, I’d become complacent about songs I already knew and had sung before.  This time was different.  I made intentional choices to be holy this week, to walk worthy of the calling of Christ on my life.  Lo and behold, the night before ministering, the song sounded better than it had all week.  I was astounded because the music track was a little high for my range.  But since it wasn’t about my personal comfort level to begin with, when I got all that flesh outta the way, God stepped in and did the miraculous – He touched my voice.  After all, He’s more concerned with how we yield to His process than whether we achieve our own desired outcomes.  So I take no credit whatsoever – He sang and ministered through me.  And I’m grateful that He chose me – because He didn’t have to give me another opportunity to complete the assignment.

What do you hungrily crave?  Passionately desire?  Wistfully long for?  Is it Christ?  The glib initial response is, “Of course!”  But check your actions and heart motives to see if that’s really the case.  You might be surprised at what appetite you’ve really been feeding.

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

(Matthew 5:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart