humility

Scary Slimy Carrots: Hearing the Voice of Godly Wisdom

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This is starting to be very repetitious; one would think I’d have this lesson down pat by now, right?  Me too.  But alas, as I gathered my lunch this morning, I righteously reached for some healthy veggies.  This NEW bag of baby carrots was unopened; there were 2 weeks remaining before the expiration date; they didn’t look ashen.  All is safe, n’est-ce pas?  Non!  Au contraire, mon ami!  I suppose the test continues to present itself until you pass it…(sigh). 

As I suspiciously sniffed (multiple times with one raised eyebrow) at the squirrelly texture of the foreign glaze/sludge covering my beloved snack, my daughter said, “I think you should throw that away, Mommy.”  Horror of horrors, if that chile don’t sound like her Daddy! Well, bless the Lord for godly wisdom in its many forms.  For some twisted reason – and against my better judgment, and KNOWING I wouldn’t be eating this forsaken fare – I decided to bring them on to work with me (“just in case” I got hungry and needed a healthy snack was my warped line of reasoning).  Translation: just in case I wanted my hubby to give me that “I told ya so” disapproving look while assuring me he had no problem taking me to get my stomach pumped for my imprudent decision.  But I TOTALLY agreed with her, “You’re right sweetie, those don’t look right at all!”  I couldn’t even bring myself to taste one “just to make sure.”  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something sinister about these innocent-looking veggies lurking in my crisper – skull and crossbones territory.

What is godly wisdom telling you to get rid of today because it’s just not good for you?  Don’t suffer the consequences of disobedience when you can make the right choice God is specifically pointing out with flashing neon lights, red arrows, loud bells and whistles, and “Bridge Out Ahead” signs.  Keep it simple – obey God’s voice…whomever you hear it through.

“…and a little child shall lead them.”

(Isaiah 11:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Ignoring the Obvious: Do You Hear What I Hear?

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On an old SNL skit, whenever someone said something displeasing or annoying while she was supposed to be providing customer service, “The Vancome Lady” character (aptly played by Nicole Sullivan) would to cover her ears, look away, and say loudly, “La la la la la la la la la – I’m not listening to you!  La la la la la la la la la…”

I had an “ah-ha” moment the other day when I realized I’d been doing this to God…and it wasn’t funny.  I was drinking a glass of water when I acknowledged that I hadn’t heeded what He said a long time ago that I’d made food an idol (among other things).  “Surely not me, Lord!  You can’t possibly be referring to me,” I reasoned.  But indeed, He had my name, address, and zip code – He knew exactly and precisely to whom He was speaking.  And He was right.  But I had been in denial.

When we ignore someone, we imply by our actions that we esteem them lightly – if we esteem them at all.  We disregard them and everything they stand for and represent.  Take inventory of your own attitude to see if you’ve scornfully despised, disdainfully disrespected, discounted, overlooked, passed over, written off, cancelled, or nullified someone God put into your space for a specific purpose in this season.

A wise son heeds his father’s advice.  So it is with us as children of the Most High.  Why should He dispense the wisdom of the ages when we won’t obey?  We must take obedient action; we’re accountable for what we’ve heard through God’s Word and His ambassadors.

“I spake unto thee in thy prosperity; but thou saidst, I will not hear. This hath been thy manner from thy youth, that thou obeyedst not my voice.”

(Jeremiah 22:21)

 “Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.”

(Mark 13:33)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Obscured by the Light of Christ

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During lunchtime, I ran into someone I’d worked with over a year ago.  Neither one of us realized the other still worked at the company.  When he walked away to get his lunch, he said, “Okay, bye Terri; good seeing you!”  I smiled and waved goodbye and didn’t bother to correct him, because it really didn’t matter that he didn’t know my name.

How many times are we willing to humble ourselves and be subject to someone else’s name – specifically, the Name of Christ Jesus?  Can someone “slip up” and call you by His Name?  Do your actions and attitudes reflect Him positively?  Let His light outshine you…

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

(John 3:30)

“Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.”

(Colossians 3:2-4)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change My Heart, O God

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…”

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Flip Side: What Am I Allowing God to Press INTO Me?

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the second week…be honest as you challenge yourself to answer the title question. 

Obedience at the moment I hear His voice, not just waiting until I feel like it.  “Feeling like it” may never come…leading to procrastination and other delays, deferments, and distractions.

In the past, I’ve talked about it, agonized over it, had angst about it…but now, it’s time to DO IT!  What is “it?” Whatever He says.  I used to sort and classify things into categories by desirability, ease of completion, and my perception of how urgent it was to complete the task at hand – those were my unspoken mental criteria.

  • So to replace slothfulness, I’m allowing God to press DILIGENCE into me.
  • For my inconsistency based on feelings and circumstances, I’m allowing God to press HIS CONSISTENCY and FAITHFULNESS (reliability, dependability, stability, steadiness) into me.
  • Every time I consider putting off something “just for a few minutes,” I’m learning the “forced behavior” of DO IT NOW.  (i.e., Loading the dishwasher right after finishing dinner instead of “sitting down” first, biting the bullet and cleaning the bathroom now instead of waiting for the weekend, or not snoozing the alarm on my online calendar when it pops up a reminder task).  Because little things add up into a big mountain over time.  Speaking of which…
  • Instead of keeping and holding onto inconsequential “stuff,” I’m learning to LET IT GO.  This is working for physical clutter as well as emotional baggage.

 I’ve written about many of my issues in my blog – now, it’s just time to do it:  OBEY.  I’m allowing God to press OBEDIENCE to His will into me.  It is a flesh-killing experience that’s often unpleasant, requires sacrifice, and is unconcerned for my personal comfort.  But it’s necessary if I am to reflect His character.

How can I expect Him to multiply the work of my hands and make me fruitful if I’m not working, being lethargic, idle, and lazy…just delaying the inevitable?  I don’t have the false luxury of saying, “Yes Lord, I’ll do it…in a minute!”  That’s ridiculous, and it’s time out for me playing with HIS resources – including air to breathe, good health, loving family, time that HE loaned me on the earth, etc.

“That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;”

(Colossians 1:10)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

What Am I Allowing God to Press OUT of Me?

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the first week…be honest as you challenge yourself to answer the title question. 

Where to begin?!  Oh so many issues come to mind that God is dealing with me about, but perhaps they are just surface symptoms of a deeper root cause…

Thinking I have options when I really do not.  Then I put things off.  Then weeks, months, years later, they’re still undone.  Not intending to procrastinate, but getting easily distracted from the task at hand…the list goes on and on.

What am I allowing God to press out of me?  Not putting Christ first with my time.  It’s not that I’m not working for Him – because I am.  I believe He’s quite pleased that I take my responsibility of having a husband and two children seriously, because my first ministry is home.  I believe He is honored that I am actively working my ministry at church, and I’m engaged with the Body of Christ and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters.  Outside of home and church, I intentionally live my life in a way that my witness speaks (without words) that I have a relationship with Jesus.  I want people to see a woman of integrity who doesn’t put herself in questionable or “gray” situations.  I make myself available to encourage others in their walk with Christ.  So where am I missing the mark?

Is He first, primary, chief, initial, principal, foremost, top?  Does He get the daily Quiet Time with me He so desires with me daily?  Sadly, no.  I’m completely inconsistent with it.  My mouth says, “Lord, I love You!”  But looking at the way my day is spent doesn’t always include dedicated time in the Word or being quiet long enough to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.  Which inevitably leads to me taking on too many tasks, doing things first that aren’t the highest priority, and being disorganized or just downright out of order.  All because I didn’t hear – then heed – His instructions for that day.

Meditating on His Word in the car is good.  I believe He’s glad I do that.  But it’s like living on appetizers; at some point, you’re going to need nourishment from a balanced meal.  So I’ve been snacking on snippets of sermons during my commute instead of taking time to dig into His Word for myself.  Like the Good Shepherd that He is, He has continued to feed me.  But I’m mature enough to be able to get some meat for myself instead of relying on fajita skewers someone else has prepared.

And so the press comes to correct me.  Repeatedly.  Since this is something I’ve dealt with for years, maybe He wants to remove it completely instead of watching me continue to nurse a wound that scabs over, then I hide it under clothing instead of allowing it to heal completely – from His expert touch.  So I guess that’s me presumptuously thinking I know better than God for my life.  Is that ridiculous?  Extremely.  Does that make me disobedient?  Yes.  Am I repentant?  Absolutely.  Will I do something different this week?  I already have – starting now.  Because “not being a morning person” is neither a valid, legitimate, nor acceptable excuse for a soldier in the army of the Lord not reporting to get the day’s marching orders.

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.”

(Philippians 3:14-15)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

French Press for Dummies

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With all of the “how-to” books written on a remedial level to help the simplicity-challenged, I propose a new title:  French Press for Dummies.  Why, you may ask?  It’s a funny thing…

I’m not a big coffee person (I prefer cocoa), but since my hubby is, I make his coffee in the morning so he doesn’t have to dish out budget-zapping change to SBUX or McD’s.  Being the deal-seeker that I am, I got a big ol’ vat o’ Folgers when it was on sale at the grocery store…only to realize (too late – at home) that it was on sale for cheap because it wasn’t instant coffee.  And I’d broken the pot to the coffeemaker many moons ago.  So what was I to do with all of this coffee and no machine?

It took a friend with a law degree to unpuzzle me.  She recommended a French press for getting some use (and tastier coffee) out of those grounds.  I’d never heard of one, but she told me it was really simple to use.  I like simple (a LOT), so I gave her money…and within a week, she’d found one for under $5 – great, right?  Wrong – I was befuddled and my hubby was caffeine-deprived for several days.  My quandary?  The Folgers directions gave measurements for preparing a 6 oz. cup of coffee.  The French press gizmo directions gave measurements for “1 scoop per 4 oz. of water.”  Powerless to reconcile the ratio of water to coffee grounds, I was stuck.  As in “fork in the road, don’t know which way I’m going, and my written directions just flew outta the sunroof – so I’ll just pull over on the side of the road until I figure out what to do next” stuck.  (Yes, that really happened to me – I’m directionally-challenged, too…but that’s another story for another day).  With my inability to convert simple math for a cup o’ joe, you wouldn’t think I work at a bank, right?  Or these days, maybe you would.  Nevertheless…

When she came to visit me about 2 weeks after she’d givien me the French press, I sheepishly admitted my ignorance and confessed that I’d been terrified to do it wrong, so I hadn’t made any coffee with it yet.  She patiently illuminated the process (by telling me to go with the Folgers directions), and I was happy to finally make 8 oz. of coffee quite easily – whew!  Yay – problem solved!  And it was tastier than instant coffee, so it was worth the wait.

Why do we get frustrated when we don’t know what’s coming next?  Do we have a problem asking for help?  Will it really hurt to admit that we don’t know everything?  We are “in the press” because God is always at work in His children. Let us continue to allow Him to press us for His glory.

p.s.  A special shout out to my “smarty pants” sistahfriend in the blogosphere – the highest-paid corporate barista out there!  No shame if they ask you to get their coffee even though you have a graduate degree.  Just laugh all the way to the bank while you provide service with a smile.  If they wanna pay multiple thousands of dollars a year for someone to get their coffee, who are we to question?!

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 3:13-14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Soul Hunger: What Are You Starving For?

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Nearly two years ago,  I was terrified when my Pastor assigned me a specific song to learn.  I didn’t really have a hunger for holiness; I guess I figured if I got in the vicinity of holiness most of the time, I was doing pretty good.  But that wasn’t God’s standard.  Holiness is God’s standard.  So my Pastor handed me a CD about a month ago and asked me to call him for my assignment after I’d listened to it.  I should’ve expected it, but I was caught off guard.  As I popped the CD in while driving home from church, it took me about 40 seconds to realize, “Hey, this is the same song that I’d been running from two years ago.”  Obviously, I didn’t run fast enough.  Clearly, nobody can outrun God or His will.  So what’s the title of the song that caused me to tremble when I thought about me having to sing it?  “Hunger for Holiness” popularized by Helen Baylor.  Who knows – if I’d taken the assignment seriously when he FIRST gave it to me, maybe I wouldn’t need Weight Watchers…

I had to swallow my fear of “what next?” in order to tackle this assignment with the right mindset and attitude.  Because as much as it might bless others, I know that I will also be blessed when I obey the Lord.  God wants me to be able to minister every song I sing with conviction – which means I first have to experience the song before I can ever convince someone else to become a partaker of its message.  I hadn’t denied my flesh any food it wanted in quite some time.  So my course of preparation to minister this song effectively entailed feeling hunger.  Because I hadn’t allowed myself to be hungry in a while.  My hips are a witness…

So regardless of the day’s circumstances (which included a church gathering that ended with a nice buffet lunch), I consecrated myself to God and asked Him to birth the truth of this song in my spirit.  And He was faithful to fulfill my request because it was in line with His will!  He kept me so safe under the shadow of His wing that I didn’t even consider reneging on my vow while doing the weekly grocery shopping or when a friend came over to the house and made dinner for my entire family.  Because it’s not really about food at all; it’s about my relationship with Him, and whether I’m putting Him first – before anything else I want.

I procrastinated learning that song for weeks, months, and years.  And now I’m at the place of repentance.   In spite of the fact that I’m just a vessel created for HIS glory, in essence, I had told the Master, “You’ll have to wait until I’m comfortable and ready to sing this song, even if You have a plan to use it to touch someone’s life in a powerful way.”  How presumptuous of me – the vessel – to tell the Master Potter, “You should make me into this, and this is how I think You should use me, Lord!”

I diligently practiced all week.  So slothfulness was part of my procrastination?  Yeah.  Cute, right?  NOT!  Unintentionally, I’d become complacent about songs I already knew and had sung before.  This time was different.  I made intentional choices to be holy this week, to walk worthy of the calling of Christ on my life.  Lo and behold, the night before ministering, the song sounded better than it had all week.  I was astounded because the music track was a little high for my range.  But since it wasn’t about my personal comfort level to begin with, when I got all that flesh outta the way, God stepped in and did the miraculous – He touched my voice.  After all, He’s more concerned with how we yield to His process than whether we achieve our own desired outcomes.  So I take no credit whatsoever – He sang and ministered through me.  And I’m grateful that He chose me – because He didn’t have to give me another opportunity to complete the assignment.

What do you hungrily crave?  Passionately desire?  Wistfully long for?  Is it Christ?  The glib initial response is, “Of course!”  But check your actions and heart motives to see if that’s really the case.  You might be surprised at what appetite you’ve really been feeding.

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

(Matthew 5:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Which Way, Lord?

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Hint:  Ask God first before making a major decision.  You’ll be glad you did…

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”

(Deuteronomy 30:19)

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”

(Proverbs 3:5-7) 

 

“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”

(Proverbs 6:23)

“He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth.”

(Proverbs 10:17)

“Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”

(Matthew 7:14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Chronicles of a Backward Glance: The Power of Suggestion

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Yes y’all, I’m tellin’ it ALL about what I’ve learned.  Why?  Prayerfully, my missteps will prevent someone else from taking the same detour from God’s will.  I encourage you to stay the course He has charted for your life…

The funny thing – or perhaps more accurately, the ironic thing – about me getting into that home-based business last year?  I’d done it before and seen that it wasn’t the best fit for me and my family.  I knew it wouldn’t cause me to “get rich quick” – but I still secretly hoped it would.  I knew it would take more time, energy, and effort than I currently had available – but I foolishly wanted to try anyway.  I saw the “Bridge Out Ahead” signs – but I valiantly forged ahead (maybe I absurdly thought I’d sprout wings to keep me from busting my backside).

I even called myself praying and asking God what His will was for me concerning entering this venture.  My biggest mistake:  I didn’t wait to hear His response!  I asked, then while waiting for His answer, someone called for my decision…and I leaped before I looked closely enough.  I thought, “THIS time will be different!  I can do it now.”  I allowed someone else to influence my decision instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct me.  I could’ve said, “I’ll get back to you.”  But I didn’t.  There was an (unseen by me) undetected desire to gamble, get something-for-nothing, get a hook-up, see a huge return on my small investment…and I ended up paying for that – because the house always wins – the system is intentionally set up that way, folks!!!

I initially reasoned, “It doesn’t cost that much – it’s the equivalent of a couple of lunches!”  Well, in the end, I discovered that my peace of mind and having a settled, undisturbed spirit was more priceless than that “small” initial activation fee.  At the beginning of the year, I was starting to get rid of my household clutter, but in the end, getting products in the mail gave me more reason to accumulate stuff.  Do I wish my husband had told me, “No sweetie, you can’t do this” from the beginning?  Yes.  But would I have gained the depth of appreciation for this lesson if I hadn’t gone through the process?  Probably not.  I really don’t wanna go down this wearisome path again.  Trying to do things in my own strength was like running on a hamster wheel and being unable to stop.

The person who invited me to the opportunity was not the problem; she is a great person who I enjoy being around.  The problem was that I allowed myself to be distracted from God’s original, primary assignment for me in that season by an external suggestion.  I lost focus, and it cost me.  But I am grateful to know what was really in my heart, because when I stopped denying the ugly truth, God was able to remove those impure desires so I could agree with His will for my life.  And so I run on…

“Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.”

(Psalm 86:11)

 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

(Hebrews 4:12)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart