Perspective Maintenance

Cold or Hot?

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My hubby says I must be “part lobster” because I like to take really hot baths.
I guess all that’s missing is some Old Bay Seasoning…

Through my sleep-deprived coronafog this week, I struggled to get a hot bath on 2 separate occasions – but alas, the faucets were not cooperating. I couldn’t figure out why – after letting the water run for almost 5 minutes – it was still tepid…a most unpleasant prospect for us crustaceans. A semi-warm bath just won’t cut it. Two nights ago, I thought extended showers by my wonderful teens who also ran the dishwasher took all of Mom’s hot water, so I reluctantly resorted to a shower when the bath taps still responded barely warm. I was so tired, I almost stomped through the bathroom. I’m intentionally working on my evening wind-down routine after being in front of computer screens most of the day.

Tonight, my candles were lit and I NEEDED a therapeutic bath with epsom salts. So I went to The Fixer, my handy-dandy hubby (who’d just done a masterful job on our subway tile kitchen backsplash – way to go, honey!). 🙂 He checked the hot water heater that was up as high as it could go. Hot water ran from every other faucet but my tub…until hubby turned the other knob. Seriously…I’ve lived in this house (and been taking hot baths in this same tub) over half a decade and still had to guess which handle dispensed the hot water?! (Yes. I guess I choose to use my cranial capacity for more substantial matters). I shook my head at myself in exhaustion, thanked him for valiantly solving my latest crisis, and prepared to settle in for my hard-won hot bath.

It was one of those “womp womp” moments – like when tech support tells you to try rebooting your computer…which instantly fixes the computer issue you’ve been having…and you wish you’d tried that before waiting 30 minutes to get some assistance. My whole family got a good laugh at my expense, but I was too tired to try to defend the foolishness, and I think they had compassion on me.

This true blonde moment couldn’t be covered by my burgundy hair rinse even if I tried. Frazzled by quarantine as we prepped for the start of a new virtual school year (and possibly a zombie apocalypse), I guess I’d gotten my wires crossed, spatial relations whacked out, and looked at something so common and familiar from the wrong perspective. 

Doesn’t this happen to us spiritually more often than we care to admit? Ah, I am evermore thankful for the gift of glorious grace…

“13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:”
(Revelation 3:13-17)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Away With Murder?

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It’s a really graphic turn of words, but I vividly remember my mom and grandma using it (with tongue-clucking punctuation) to reference unruly chill’uns who were “ackin’ up” and not getting proper or timely discipline for their foolish shenanigans…
(This is Part Two…read Part One of my own foolish shenanigans here)

Perhaps I’ve watched one too many episodes of Cold Case on non-cable antenna TV during this quarantine time (highly likely…along with The Closer, In Plain Sight, Unforgettable, and the iconic classic Perry Mason for my whodunit crime drama fixes throughout the week…because I finished watching all 5 free seasons of Leverage last year), but nobody ever really gets away with murder – literally or figuratively. In the end – even if it’s decades later – the truth comes out.

Confession: So I’ve been inching towards the edge in my eating habits. Like seeing how close I could get to the electric fence without getting zapped. And you know what? It took putting on a dress (withOUT an elastic waistband) to celebrate at my hubby’s recent birthday dinner to show me how the coronapounds have crept (or leapt) upon me. I left 2 inches of back zipper undone and topped my outfit choice with a snazzy sweater to camouflage my transgressive over-eating and under-exercising ways – et voilà! But that didn’t change the fact that the little munchies here and the grazing during endless conference calls there had caught up with me…and were demanding my attention. ZAP!

It took reading my own response to a friend who asked me to check out her recent blog post to bring me out of my delusional, self-deceived reverie of “oh, it’s OK…I’ve just picked up a couple of pounds.” Straight truth, no chaser with a side of full disclosure? No Kayren, you lost over 20 pounds last year…and they all seem to have found you – and brought a few extra friends who wanted to tag along. Whatcha gonna do now?

I encouraged my friend via text tonight – and was immediately convicted:
Don’t ever second-guess what the Holy Spirit has led you to do; it’s NEVER about man’s approval, affirmation, or even acknowledgment. Let God use your work to minister to each reader the way He needs to; all is in HIS capable hands as THE Author. It is posted and published, and HE is doing the work in your readers. Keep moving forward in Him because He has so much more to pour through your available vessel. No looking back! Let it go and move ON!

So why wasn’t I treating myself with the same grace? Why the double standard? Simply put, I’d gotten off-track – thinking I was getting away when I was squarely in His crosshairs, and He was lovingly waiting for me to come into His presence for much-needed recalibration and adjustment.

My prayer: Here I am, Lord…repenting…once again. Thank You for your mercy, cleansing, and patience. You are a loving Heavenly Father to Your children, and I am grateful to be called Your daughter. I present myself for You to continue molding and shaping me into the image of Your Dear Son. Amen.

“But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord:
 and be sure your sin will find you out.”
(Numbers 32:23)

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
(Psalm 145:8)

“2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known.
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
(Luke 12:2-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Full, But Unsatisfied

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Two weeks ago, I thought this was just a “get it off my chest, rambling personal journal entry.”  But now I realize that I have to post it…because I wrote Part Two (unbeknownst to me) today. So here it is – Part One…may you be blessed by this big ol’ heaping helping of transparent exposure…

Have you ever eaten a meal and been stuffed to capacity, only to realize that it did not hit the spot? Or you worked hard to achieve a significant goal, milestone, or accomplishment, only to experience the same nagging void that was there when you started? Yeah, me too. Utterly disappointing, isn’t it? #EpicLetdown

On far too many occasions through my 4 decades-plus of life, I’ve reached the top of a ladder, only to realize I’d placed it against the wrong wall. I’d achieved a goal, but not the fulfillment to accompany it. So what next?

I lost the (same) 20 pounds (again)…only to regain them (again). I got the new job responsibility, accolade, or recognition…only to realize it wasn’t the adrenaline rush I was looking for after all. I tried the new gourmet recipe and presented it to my family with little acknowledgment for the effort…only to feel my high-flying “mom balloon” deflated amongst the empty dirty dishes.

What was I really seeking? Contentment. Affirmation. Fulfillment. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I know that comes only from being at peace with the will of God – not seeking to check off the next achievement. No matter how many things within my span of control (which admittedly are very few) I tweaked, I only experienced satisfaction when I decided to yield to God’s selected path for me in that season. Even when it wasn’t glamorous or sexy. Especially when it felt mundane and routine (quarantine, anyone?).

So how do we change the narrative? Give it up, and give in. Go back to Square One – HIS plan. Yeah, it’s the one that does NOT look like your plan…but it’s custom tailored to fit you perfectly.

My dietician’s recent reminder that we’re never able to satisfy emotional hunger with physical food was a light bulb “aha!” moment and a real game changer. The same premise is true in the spiritual realm: we’re never able to satisfy our spiritual hunger with anything but Christ…we were created with that void He longs to fill. Don’t get sidetracked by distractions…let us focus on the Lord and allow HIM to fill us during this time when He continues to draw us deeper into His presence..

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried:
he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”
(II Samuel 22:31)

“He revealeth the deep and secret things:
he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.”
(Daniel 2:22)

“And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life:
he that cometh to me shall never hunger;
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
(John 6:35)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Broken, But Not Irreparable

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God, You truly know how to crush to extract the essence without destroying the value within a person…

After “forced intercession” due to a heaviness I just couldn’t shake and tears that came from outta nowhere (who ME, try to run from God?! get outta here!😏), after praying through the progeny of my foremothers’ bloodlines and repenting, I finally got a release and this flowed forth. It’s a poem that’ll probably become a song. I captured it in my new $1 pink journal with a gold heart that says “Love Yourself” (because I can’t resist something sparkly that’s only $1…so of course I got one for my daughter, too! LOL). When I was about to turn the page, I noticed that I’d written on the last page instead of the first page. I’ve NEVER done that when starting a new journal – intentionally or unintentionally…and yet, it was fitting and timely today.

I truly didn’t intend to post this backstory – I was just gonna share the poem, but after my time of cleansing tears and emptying out of my soul (thank You, Lord), I must obey…

So be encouraged as you go through your own process of transformation during this “safer at home” time of being shut in and formed, molded, and shaped on the Master Potter’s wheel…ALL for HIS glory.

Broken things can still be used;

They can be repaired,

They can be restored.

To a state of increased value

That only the love of God can afford.

Purchased by God – priceless gift;

Feel the burdens of your soul lift.

God wrote the end of your story first;

He sees your best when you’re at your worst.

Don’t rush His process of soul restoration;

Watch Him remove all frustration…

Rest in Him as He blankets your soul in His peace.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

(Philippians 1:6)


© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

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This is dedicated to every father,
with special honor given to Black fathers who are committed to holding their families with strong, protective arms and hearts full of love.
Additionally, those who may not be biological fathers but choose to serve as positive role models in their families and communities are worthy of recognition.

What a time this has been. I begin with an attitude of gratitude after weeks of reflection and introspection. Current events covered by the media only magnify the significance of racial tension that brews, bubbles, and seethes in this “melting pot” of a country. 

I am grateful for my father. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my son who is just on the cusp of manhood and 12 months away from possibly (probably, but I’m OBVIOUSLY still dealing with just a smidge of denial) not residing under my roof, facing the world with what his father and I taught him and surrounded by prayer. I am grateful for the MANY good men and fathers who have graced my life with wisdom, knowledge, insight, instruction, guidance, and discipline through the years. I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful for my faithful and consistent Heavenly Father!

For the pressures, expectations, letdowns, and rejoicings cut too short by reality – over and over again – from my perspective, it looks like being a man these days is a pretty tough job.

Nevertheless, the men I’m fortunate to have in my life are more than built to conquer the tasks presented. Can’t open that stubborn jar? Give it here – I’ve got you! Broken bones or middle of the night child projectiles? No problem – there’s health insurance and a shop-vac for that! Debt that stresses you beyond imagination? Never fear, dear maiden – there’s a plan to address, cover, and conquer that! Scared of the dark, monsters under your bed (or in your closet…or in your past), or the unknowns of the future? Let us pray – I’m here with you, and I know Someone Who will make it all alright for you…especially when I can’t.

For all your perfectly imperfect parts – many or few;
We absolutely couldn’t (and don’t want to) do it without you!

From the girl who doesn’t restrict celebration to a single or specific day, I say TODAY with much respect: Happy Father’s Day! And thank you for your innumerable ongoing sacrifices. And love. And example. And mistakes. And for getting up and getting back in the game even when you’re tired of what seems to be the same ol’ cycle. Be encouraged – because you’re making a difference…every day.

With great appreciation,
Kayren

“1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words:
keep my commandments, and live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding:
forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.”
(Proverbs 4:1-5) 

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Sistahood

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It’s not that Oprah, Michelle Obama, or Beyonce are any more fabulous than anyone already in your personal circles…it’s just that, as celebrities, they’re more widely known. This entire week, my eyes have been opened and my soul awakened to the sheer magnitude of greatness in the women around me. Like these gorgeous new roses blooming in my yard, we find ourselves at different stages of life and levels of growth and development, but our individual beauty enhances the collective landscape.

MY network is invaluable and priceless. I was bursting with pride after Tanya gave her dynamic Toastmasters Icebreaker speech today – I’ve gotta get that well-traveled chick’s autograph NOW! I felt like a million bucks after having an afternoon catch-up chat with Tiphanie; after tag-team encouraging each other for 5 minutes, we finally agreed to have a mutual admiration society for respect of the current and future potential we see in one another, determined and committed with accountability to not let it go dormant. I connected her with Michele who just started her own consulting firm because they’re both young, vibrant, unstoppable, brilliant, and share a similar interest. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for LaKeisha who has actively served as a nurse on the COVID-19 front lines and still takes care of her husband and family with godly devotion like a champ; she’s younger than me, but I consider her a role model in so many ways. Yvette is a creative spiritual powerhouse who – days after attending to her own health issues – was calling to check on me…seriously compassionate. My college friends who group text with me regularly have provided the familiar solace that comes from people knowing you (up, down, sideways, inside and out) for over two decades.

These women (and the scores of others I can’t possibly list here) have been an invaluable part of my support network. The impact of their influence on me has been magnified during these past several months as they provided reinforcement in places I didn’t even know I had needs.

I say it’s time to harness the power of those dynamic people God has already placed in our paths. The next Oprah may already be within your sphere of influence – help her come forth, and she’ll do the same for you. We can nurture and build our environment with genuine friendship, kinship, and relationship. With love, perseverance, and dedication, we CAN change the world as we know it for the better – one step at a time, one day at a time, one intentional action at a time. I’m counting on it…for my daughter’s sake, and her generation. Count your blessings, assess your network, and mount up, sistahs…the time is NOW! OUR time is now!

Thank YOU for being part of my network – I am truly grateful!

p.s. It goes without saying that as we strengthen our sisterhood network, we put ourselves in better position to support our brothers…

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
(Psalm 133:1)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

 

The Mom Chronicles 2020

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chronicle (noun) –
record, history, account, diary, register, journal, story, narrative

chronicle (verb) –
report, record, re-count, relate, narrate, register, keep track of, make note of, write down

In my opinion, EVERY day is Mother’s Day.😉 Whether you are a mother, you have a mother, or you know a mother, stories to chronicle abound! No matter what stage of life you’re in, celebrate this weekend by taking a moment to reflect on the impact of mothers in your life – and share your gratitude!

Every culture has its own “mom-isms.” I grew up in the South, raised by traditional disciplinarians. Do any of these sound familiar?

  • “Because I SAID so – that’s why!”
  • “I’m not “such & such’s” mother – I’m YOUR Mama!”
  • My fave from my grandma: “I’m not mean; I just MEAN what I say!”
  • BONUS: “This is gonna hurt ME more than it hurts you!” (before being disciplined in love LOL)

If you can relate to (or recall with a shudder!) any of these examples, chances are you had at least one authority figure in your life who cared about you making it from childhood to adulthood successfully; hence, you have a reason to be thankful for their influence.😁 And if you’ve used any of these “mom-isms” within the past 24 hours, you are definitely a mom!🤣

We all have memories when reflecting on the mothers in our lives – biological, adopted, neighborhood, mentors, friends, those we’ve admired from afar, etc. Whether you had the June Cleaver, Claire Huxtable, Martha Stewart, Florida Evans, or Peg Bundy type of mom – or somewhere in between – moms are a special breed.

I’ve learned (from experience) that sometimes their volume button gets stuck on HIGH.❣ Their eyes leak at the most inopportune moments.😥 Most of them really DO have eyes in the back of their head.🧐😳👀 Sometimes they say one thing, but mean something totally different.😬🙄😖 But whatever model you were assigned from the factory😇 – treasure your mom as a one-of-a-kind design who helped make you who you are today…UNIQUELY YOU!

I’m praying you have a blessed and Happy Mother’s Day – thank YOU for being a precious gift!🎁💖

“29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: 
but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
(Proverbs 31:29-31)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Nestled

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nestle – snuggle, cuddle up, curl up, huddle, nuzzle, settle, lie close, burrow

Look closely. Now look closer. See how safely hidden this nest is – tucked amidst the protective thorns? That’s how our God covers and surrounds us. What comfort and confidence we can experience when resting in Him!

“1 How lovely are Your dwelling places, O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul (my life, my inner self) longs for and greatly desires the courts of the Lord;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
3 The bird has found a house,
And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young—
Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts,
My King and my God.
4 Blessed and greatly favored are those who dwell in Your house and Your presence;
They will be singing Your praises all the day long. Selah.”
(Psalm 84:1-4 AMP)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Got Thyme?

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thyme on my hands kc 5-6-20217041447176159139292..jpg

Just a little “garden outside my window” humor – I couldn’t resist! 🙂 But seriously…

What are you doing with the gift of time God has given you during this “stay at home” season? Feel free to share in the comments section if you’d like.

Personally, I’ve taken several webinars for personal and professional development, tried out some new recipes (and new ingredients) on my family, and I have a couple of creative projects brewing (that I hope to share with you soon)…

Let us be diligent, put this time to good use, and produce abundant fruit for the Kingdom of God!

“3 The one who guards his mouth [thinking before he speaks] protects his life;
The one who opens his lips wide [and chatters without thinking] comes to ruin.
4 The soul (appetite) of the lazy person craves and gets nothing [for lethargy overcomes ambition],
But the soul (appetite) of the diligent [who works willingly] is rich and abundantly supplied.”
(Proverbs 13:3-4 AMP)
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance and advantage,
But everyone who acts in haste comes surely to poverty.”
(Proverbs 21:5 AMP)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Ladybug: La Vie en Rose

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I was delighted to capture the adorable moment when this ladybug posed for me among the roses before wings fluttered and flight ensued in the blink of an eye.

Even after five years of high school French (eons ago – ha ha! ok, maybe just decades ago), I had to look up the meaning behind this saying, though I knew it was a fitting caption for this photo. Consider some of the following translations and ponder where you might discover joy in unexpected (though possibly familiar) places during this “stay at home” time:

  • Life in happy hues 
  • Life through rose-colored glasses
  • Life seen through happy lenses
  • Life in rosy hues
  • Life in pink

“1 The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.
2 It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the Lord, and the excellency of our God.”
(Isaiah 35:1-2)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart