Mothering is an Action Word

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Guess what?  The baby robins have hatched!  After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning.  Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with.  Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides.  This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action.  The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error.  We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering. 

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences!  Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique.  I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold.  I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers.  Just days away from her 5th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes.  She is growing up – and where did the time go?!  Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂  Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.  

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day.  Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day!  May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy.  Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Bird’s Eye View of My Environment

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On what is celebrated as Earth Day, I suppose it’s fitting to reflect on the nature preserve that my yard has become…duck eggs and robins’ nests and ‘possums – oh my!  But bugs and inchworms, too, Lord?

Just when I thought Spring wouldn’t bring anything else into my yard, I have been proven wrong – over and over and over again!  Apparently, the animal world has telegraphed something about my hubby being the Jack Hanna of Charlotte, because we’ve had a robin building a nest atop the corner post of our front porch for the past couple of weeks.  It was comical and almost ironic to arrive home from vacation to see the nest-building material strewn across the porch and hanging baskets – maybe we’re hosting a bird timeshare, unbeknownst to us?

Now, the small, blue eggs are laid and the mother robin greets us with that big ol’ lidless bird eye every time we’re on our porch.  So I do the only proper thing – I say “good morning” to her as she stares at me and guards the nest from her perch.  She doesn’t even fly away anymore as we open the front door to leave for school and work each day.  Maybe we’re getting the benefits of a pet – I dunno.

As if that weren’t enough, my hubby recently sent me an e-mail entitled “guess who’s in the yard today?”  I earnestly prayed it wasn’t another opossum.  My prayer was granted; as I opened the attachment, I saw two ducks in the photo.  Whew!  What I didn’t know was that they’d carefully and intentionally selected our yard as the site to lay and hatch their eggs…I presume they like rosebushes near the ground and underneath children’s bedroom windows.  I fully expect to see fuzzy baby ducks waddling around pretty soon.

As I watch my hubby’s flurry of activity around the yard to make it habitable and enjoyable for his family, I visualize Jesus with a bird balancing on His index finger and remember that He created all this stuff, so I may as well get with the program and appreciate it. 🙂  May we reverence the Creator more than the creation… 

“And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.”

(Genesis 2:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Life’s Little Joys

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My place as Kayren Cathcart, MD (Mommy Doctor) has been forever inscribed and securely etched in the annals of history.  It’s all part of the job description (wait a minute – what job description?!).  After my children spent their week of Spring Break with my mother (enjoying all the delights that accompany being spoiled by grandma), what was the first thing my son showed me?  Yep – you guessed it – his loose tooth – top front left. I didn’t even know it was loose when I dropped him off at grandma’s!

For some reason, he got a little jittery when I said, “Let’s get the cotton and pull it now before we get back on the road.”  But since he’d brought it to my attention, I was compelled to act.  Plus, it looked like it was hanging on by a single sinew.  I had to use a different angle from the one I’d used for the “easy” bottom teeth, but I finally gripped it with the cotton and there was minimal blood, though maximum tears.  Perhaps this is just preparing me for my daughter to start losing her teeth.  Oh great – I guess we’ll see in about another year…or less.  Children do grow so quickly! 

Both children came home with scraped knees after their visit to grandma’s (with no “helicopter mother” hovering to thwart impending danger), but my hubby and I were quite well-rested after our “child-free” vacation week – and I think that the children had a blast, too.  As much as my mom keeps alluding to how their visit must’ve been a “fountain of youth,” I think she may have been happiest of all.  The love of family is a priceless gift.

“Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.

Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit.”

(Job 10:11-12)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Critter Corner

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I am sheepishly posting this entry almost a month after it happened because I was a bit embarrassed!  However, I must write in the spirit of transparency, truth, and disclosure, so that’s what I’m gonna keep on bringing…read on to enjoy the antics of my life! 🙂

Much to my chagrin, I was recently given a reminder of why it takes valleys to appreciate the few and far-between “mountaintop experiences.”  By no means do I consider myself an animal lover (I’d pick a low-maintenance goldfish over a 4-footed pet any day).  Yet, my hubby’s point of a cat’s value in situations like this now has additional validity; I’m warming up to the idea.  My chef hubby kicked off our first Cathcart “Welcome to Spring” event on Saturday, 3/20/10 with an absolutely fantastic weekend grill-out with gourmet turkey burgers for me and hot dogs for the children.  Yet, my euphoria was quickly shattered on the following Tuesday when my son said, “Mom, I see a mouse” as he peered onto the back porch.

Not believing him (though I shouldn’t have doubted Mr. SuperPeepers), I glanced onto the deck through the sliding glass door, and sure enough, there was a tiny four-footed creature staring right back at me.  Then it disappeared…right back under the grill cover.  I gasped; he must’ve wanted some turkey burger, too.  Flabbergasted, I hoped one of the big, hungry robins near the bird feeders would swoop down and take care of this critter in my yard.  It didn’t happen.  Trying to maintain a somewhat composed demeanor in front of my children, I said, “Maybe it’s a baby opossum” as I laughed weakly.  But my son assured me, “No, it really is a mouse.”  Outta the mouths of babes…  I had to agree; at least it was outside.  Now what?!?  My hubby was at a meeting, and once again, I had to hold down the fort (but I was grateful I didn’t have to pull a child’s tooth).  However, I digress…

Now if this had been a spider, I could’ve easily and bravely paralyzed it with contents from a nearby can of air freshener (yes, it really works – and it smells so fresh afterwards, too!).  But this critter had me stumped.  What to do as it scurried about my deck, silently taunting me?  I did what any thinking woman would do – I called a good sistahfriend!  Granted, she lives all the way on the other side of town, but having her commiserate with me until my hubby’s meeting finished sure helped me calm down!  Fast forwarding to my hero arriving home (after I called to ensure he’d make a detour to the home-improvement store for something to destroy my tiny antagonizer):  he arrived with the electronic plug-in repellents and glue traps.  I’m not sure which one did the job, but I haven’t seen one since (let us all breathe a collective sigh of relief)!  And last night’s cookout was pleasant (and yummy – healthy grilled chicken) – but, of course, I was inside while watching my squealing children gleefully run through the sprinkler with careless abandon.  🙂

We are growing closer to a wildlife preserve every day.  There’s gotta be a lesson in this somewhere…I am determined to learn it!!!

“Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.”

(Genesis 8:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Best Gift: The Resurrection and the Life

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I overheard a conversation this week between adults who still receive an Easter Basket from a parent or a spouse.  As I thought to myself, “Really?” I remembered my grandmother’s faithfulness to make sure my sister and I had multihued baskets (every year) wrapped in cellophane and filled with all sorts of sugary treats.  The baskets were her thoughtful way of showing us she loved us – just as sending Jesus was God’s ultimate expression of showing He loves us.

Granted, the tradition of chocolate bunnies and spring chicks may stir fond memories and we can correlate spiritual meanings to the symbols that have become associated with Easter.  Yet, how much more precious is it to God when we focus more on the sacrificial gift of His Son’s life given for us than on brightly colored eggs?  Today, He extends His nail-scarred hands to each of us, welcoming us into His bosom for fellowship – our triumphant and risen Savior!  That’s the reason I’m up at 2:00 a.m. – because as I meditated on His great goodness, His selfless sacrifice, and His vibrant victory, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep.  I had to share the Good News of His abundant, extravagant love with someone!

Truly we have many reasons to celebrate the majesty, splendor, and magnificence of Christ’s glory in this season!  May the power of HIS resurrection manifest itself in every facet of your life.  Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift! (II Corinthians 9:15)

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”

(John 11:25)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Intrinsic Value

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Along with planting a vegetable (and fruit) garden, my wonderful hubby has decided to create a bird sanctuary…in our backyard.  It’s a rather noble endeavor, because our children seem to enjoy seeing wildlife up close and personal (with the exception of the opossum duly noted in my previous blog entry).  And surprisingly enough for this indoors-loving bookworm, so am I.

One birdfeeder obviously wasn’t enough, so he headed to the home improvement store to purchase 2 more seed feeders, plus a nectar feeder because he “wanted to see some hummingbirds.”  Isn’t it fantastic when we can appreciate God’s creation with childlike fascination?  “Indeed, he is a compassionate man,” I noted as he strategically placed the full feeders throughout the yard and secured them with hooks.  I would’ve casually tossed out some stale bread crusts, deemed it a community service event benefitting the environment, and called it a day. 

But he must be rubbing off on me – and leading by example – since I found myself talking to a tiny bird while waiting for the train yesterday.  I even offered it some seed if it could find its way to my house…but of course, it wouldn’t find my house, now would it?  As the bird flew away, I remembered that my signature solo wherever I sang as a teenager – many moons ago – was “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”  Then I experienced one of those epiphanic moments of understanding when everything converges all at once and in one place – and I remembered how truly special I am to God.  “He’s been thinking about me for all these years!” I gasped.  Have you considered that lately?  Take a moment to gratefully reflect on what He’s been saying to you this week…you may see what you’re really worth in a different light.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.”

(Luke 12:6-7, Amplified Bible)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Playin’ Possum: High Drama in the Suburbs

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It’s time for me to recount another colorful weekend, and I tell ya, this one still makes me laugh!  Please do not drink any beverages while reading this post…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A couple of weeks ago, our backyard fence was finally completed, a welcome prelude to the warmth of spring, family BBQs, and balmy evenings for my children playing safely outdoors.  Enter one intruder to interrupt this idyllic picture of placidity, and you have a formula for me to witness a murder in my own yard on Saturday before 9:00 a.m.  Well…almost.

Saturday morning, I was up earlier than I would’ve preferred, preparing to head out to a meeting and my wonderful hubby was getting ready to make pancakes for the children.  As he bustled about to complete his routine “morning security check” of our property, he spotted something in the backyard and started dressing quickly.  “Uh oh,” I thought to myself, knowing that my hubby is fiercely protective of his family.  “Whatever it is should prepare to meet its Maker.”   He pointed out an opossum near the fence and I froze; that thing was HUGE.  Next thing I knew, he was dressed in full lumberjack gear and heading toward the fence carrying a big shovel – the heavy one used for snow removal just a few weeks ago.  Equally repulsed and captivated by what was unfolding before my eyes, I braced for the impact, and heard the “whack!”  It wasn’t pretty.  The body stopped moving, but I saw the opossum’s long tail flopping about.  Did I really want to finish eating my high-fiber cereal after this?  I bravely munched on, staring through the sliding glass door as if I was watching HDTV.  I cringed at the next whack(s) – like who’s counting? – then saw my hubby retreating from the yard.  Was he victorious?

He wondered aloud, “Now what am I gonna do with that thing?”  I was wondering the same thing, because it was pretty creepy looking.  “Couldn’t you call Animal Control?” I weakly offered.  He grabbed his phone and dialed.  Yay, teamwork.  “Is it dead?” I asked hesitantly.  “No; I saw some babies peek their heads out, so I knew it was a mother.  I don’t think I have anything sharp enough to kill it, and it hissed at me.  Those things could have rabies.”  “Oh great,” I thought.  “Now we have to wait for the government to come dispose of this creature.”  After he hung up, he reported that it had to be dead before Animal Control would come pick it up, AND (adding insult to injury) we’d have to get it to the front curb for them to pick it up – yikes!  I don’t think that was a risk he was willing to take; I knew I wasn’t!  All I could picture was trying to shovel the fat opossum into a brown paper bag and tying it up in a plastic garbage bag.  That didn’t sound too safe.  I headed to the car en route to my meeting, confident that my hubby had the situation under control and the critter would be gone when I returned.

Five minutes into my drive, my cell phone rang.  “I injured it, but I didn’t kill it,” my hubby reported.  He informed me that the opossum had crawled back through its entry point, a breach in our neighbor’s fence.  “I cancelled the Animal Control call.”  I don’t think he spared its life because it was a mother; I think he knew he was outmatched without the proper tool to remove the animal swiftly and humanely.  And Lord knows what we’d have done with motherless opossum babies scattered about.  At least he reinforced the weak part of our neighbor’s fence with more wood, because my eyes were as big as saucers, visualizing what would happen if the incapacitated party came back for restitution.  I’m almost certain that I heard the melodic strains of “Circle of Life” from The Lion King. 

Did I mention how wonderful my hubby is?  I can’t imagine how this story would’ve ended if I’d been the party responsible for handling the opossum incident.  I don’t even want to think about it.  I’ve finally summoned my SuperMommy powers so I can kill spiders by myself in one fell swoop – most of them, anyway.  I dare not consider what could’ve been in the backyard if we didn’t have that fence; I don’t think I’m ready to handle animals bigger than that.  Really.

Honestly, before this unfortunate turn of events, the only interaction I’d had with opossums was seeing them as road rugs.  I don’t recall having the privilege of a face-to-face encounter with one.  And I wasn’t at all thrilled to think one (or more) might be roaming around my backyard or wiggling under my deck.  But from this experience (combined with a bit of web research), I’ve learned that an opossum is a marsupial (that means it has a pouch – like a kangaroo) and carries its young.  Sooooo…what is the meaning in all of this?  I hadn’t thought about a spiritual message on Saturday between laughing and squirming, but as I reflect, perhaps it was just a simple reminder from nature that God is always watching, covering, protecting and guiding us.  Just as we watch out for our children, animals care for their young offspring…and God cares for us. 

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

(Psalm 91:1)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Lasting Change

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It’s slowly dawning on me that I really don’t want the “old way” anymore.  And it’s exciting to see myself changing, because I did the “old way” very well for so long!  This past weekend, I had my first ice cream cone of the year with my family.  And that was it – one ice cream cone after a balanced dinner at home.  No secretly sneaking to eat it alone between meals in a room behind closed doors. (If it sounds like the “old way” took a lot of scheming and energy, go with that – you’re right).  I didn’t revisit the freezer for a 2nd or 3rd cone (glorious change!).  I was truly content with eating in a more healthy way that would profit my body.  I didn’t even feel deprived when I gave my children some ice cream for dessert last night; I passed up my portion. 

Additionally, God made a way of escape for me when my hubby wanted to treat us to Sunday dinner out so I wouldn’t have to cook – he selected a buffet.  I didn’t say anything to him that morning (gotta appreciate your spouse’s thoughtfulness!), but I prayed that God would give me wisdom in selecting foods from the buffet that would glorify Him and not stuff my body full of junk.  And you know what?  By that afternoon, my hubby had changed his mind – without me saying a word (imagine that!).  He decided that we could eat at home, save some dough (yippee!), and I still didn’t have to cook because we’d prepared well a few days before and had plenty in the fridge.  I was so delighted to eat a chicken breast sandwich topped with bleu cheese dressing, fresh spinach, and red grapes at home!  When I remarked to my hubby, “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten something this healthy at the buffet,” he agreed and we both laughed.

I am grateful that God wouldn’t allow me to eat myself to death – literally.  Why?  Because He has a purpose and a plan for my life that I must fulfill.  So it is with you, my friend.  If you’re facing something that seems absolutely insurmountable and you haven’t gotten victory over it the past 10 times you tried to overcome it, I encourage you to try one more time.  But this time, allow God to change your heart (give Him free reign, holding nothing back for yourself) so you can change your mind, and your lifestyle will begin to change.  He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I am a witness!

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Less is More

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I should’ve known God was up to something that would create major change in me.  You know what tipped me off?  It wasn’t one particular “struck with a lightning bolt” moment.  But it was a gradual realization of, “Hey – something is different here!”  That “something different” is the reason I haven’t visited my co-workers’ candy dishes since the Christmas holidays…who knew that 20 miniature chocolates in one week (or in one day) would add up on your hips if left unattended???  Right – I should’ve known then, but now I know better, and I do better.  Allow me to share a couple of observations.

About a month ago, we went to a restaurant that serves chocolate mints after dinner.  Our server was kind enough to give us 2 for each person.  Now I remember a day when I would’ve taken the mints from my children so I could have more (I hate to admit it, but I guess that’s hoarding).  This time, I reached (out of habit) for one mint, then subconsciously jerked my hand back.  I remembered, “That was my old way of doing things; I really don’t want that candy, nor do I need the extra calories…nor do I desire to eat one and end up with an urge to finish off the rest of them.”  My family didn’t notice my mental conversation, but I did.  And I’m proud to report that the candies my children didn’t eat are still in a drawer in my kitchen.  I see them when I pull out twist ties, and they’re safe – it’s not even a temptation anymore.  I am grateful for God changing me from the inside out. 

As if to prove that it wasn’t a one-time deal, another test-type situation presented itself one afternoon at work.  I headed to the break room to refill my water bottle, passing by the “free” coffee and rich, calorie-laden hot cocoa.  Then I saw them – leftover cookies from a meeting.  Neatly preserved in a box.  And nobody was looking.  Oh sure, they’d been put there for anyone to help themselves – but that someone didn’t have to be me!  I took a peek to see what flavor presented itself – livin’ on the edge, right?  Peanut butter, with visible peanut butter chip chunks.  “Hmmm,” I mused as I inhaled, noticing how soft the cookies looked.  “Peanuts are healthy,” I reasoned.  Then I snapped back to reality, shut the box, and walked back to my desk with my full water bottle.  I didn’t really want or need a cookie, and that wasn’t what I’d gone to the break room for anyway.  I acknowledged it as just a distraction.  Kayren – 1 point, cookies – zero. God had made a way of escape for me. This time – thankfully – I took it.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

(I Corinthians 10:13)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Gravity Works in My Favor

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For the first time in a VERY long time, the scale is actually reading about 10 pounds less…with me standing on it.  Who would’ve thought I’d actually see results this time?  Not me – at first.  Then I kept checking the scale week after week, and it was going down – a pound here, a pound there.  I was hesitant to believe it – and I definitely wasn’t gonna write about it in case I was just dreaming and someone had to shake me back to reality and say, “No honey, you’re still as heavy as you were – wake up!” 

At the beginning of the year, a good friend of mine told me she wanted to lose 40 pounds by her birthday in July.  It sounded rather impossible for me to apply her enthusiasm to my own need to lose the same amount – as my doctor had been gently nudging me to do (then firmly insisting) for the past few years.  Though I wasn’t convinced it could work for me this time, she chirped, “It breaks down to about 2 pounds a week” and I decided that was considerably more manageable to attack than 40 pounds in one fell swoop.  Plus, she said I’d inspired her to be more healthy (imagine that!), so because I wanted to be supportive of her efforts, I agreed to be her accountability partner as we built healthier habits into our daily lifestyles.

She has lost over 15 pounds and is well on her way to reaching her goal.  I’ve lost about 10 pounds (though I was really hoping more than I was believing I’d lose any weight at all), my knees don’t hurt anymore, and I’m feeling ready to run around in the yard with my children when the warm weather arrives.  It’s remarkable how changing your perspective can improve your quality of life!

I didn’t get liposuction (who has money laying around for that these days? and I certainly don’t want anyone carving on me like a Thanksgiving turkey), I didn’t get scammed and subsequently disappointed by the newest “miraculous fat melting pill/powder/beverage fad” (to take my money without delivering results), I haven’t starved myself (though I’m convinced that camels really can live off their humps, and I do have plenty of calories stored up), I haven’t missed any meals (just made the ones I eat healthier and more proportionate), and I have added a little exercise to my week (there’s always room for improvement).  Good ol’ fashioned discipline.  Taking in fewer calories than I burn off.  Not eating everything that comes across my path and isn’t nailed down.  I had to change my mind first – then my body followed.

Can you tell how incredulous I am about the whole thing?  It’s nothing short of amazing, in my opinion.  Yet, with the right input, you can have favorable results.  Since I’d been putting in junk, I was getting excess calories.  When I started putting in more fruit, veggies, and water – voila! – the excess pounds begin to melt away.  Not only am I responsible for taking thoughtful stewardship of my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, I am also responsible for setting a godly example for others – including my children.  My lifestyle must witness louder than my words.  Finally, my convictions are translating into action and change.  And better health is just one of many benefits I’m reaping.

It all adds up…to less.  I am grateful that God is at work in my life.  Can you hear the chisels and jackhammers?

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart