The Power of A Deliberate Decision

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I’m experiencing a shift and a realignment – both in the spirit and in the natural.  Today, I realized how very happy I really am.  I awoke on my Saturday at 6:00 a.m. and actually wanted to stay up!  Granted, I didn’t stay up (anyone who knows me is aware of how much I value those few-and-far-between opportunities to sleep late), but the excitement bubbling inside could’ve kept me up.  Instead of watching TV, I worked…I guess that’s what a little motivation will do for you!  I can see how much time (or productivity) unconscious, mindless TV watching has drained from me fulfilling my God-given purpose. 

And eating – that’s changed for me, too.  I used to love eating rich meals with my slim and well-proportioned husband.  While his metabolism burned off whatever touched his lips, calories and fat seemed to obstinately accumulate on my hips (and all sites north and south of that vicinity).  It was a common way I used to fellowship, but now I’ve made some deliberate decisions about where I want to be and what it will take for me (not someone else) to maintain a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.  I passed up his special Super Bowl baked beans laden with ground beef and sausage.  Instead of feeling deprived, I knew my innards thanked me.  And now when I hear the tinkling of his spoon in the ice cream bowl, I don’t even flinch – to God be the glory!  So this is what it means to make a decision and stick with it, huh?    What a novel concept!

I’m growing in confidence that the decisions I make are good for me, not requiring (as much!) affirmation or validation from others because I’m the one who has to live with my decisions.  I’ll admit that sometimes it helps to have a nudge in the right direction from a supportive friend.  Yet, I can’t get caught up in the comfort of company or companionship.  Some paths are meant to be traveled in solitude and reflection.  Like the journey of becoming. 

After having lived to utterly please others for so long, this is indeed a new way of traveling.  I feel lighter already.  Bye-bye excess baggage…I see a place for you to be unloaded.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of a Compassionate Word

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Are you available when opportunity knocks – whether it benefits you or someone else?  Openings to share the love of Christ often show up in the most unexpected ways – at least they do in my life.  Take the other day, for instance, when I headed to the bank during my lunch break.  I wasn’t in a rush, but I wasn’t meandering either.  Then I noticed him – a brother puffing on a cigarette.

I’ve seen him on several occasions around the building I work in.  I suppose this time, I just felt compelled to speak to him.  Before I knew it, I boldly implored, “Brother, what are ya doin’ to yourself?!  I want you to have healthy, pink lungs.  You know we need all the Black men we’ve got!  I love Black men – I’ve got 2 of ‘em at home myself – a husband AND a son.”  At that instant, he dropped it on the ground and crushed it under his well-worn work shoe.  Stunned, I kinda did a double-take and asked, “What made you do that?” to which he responded, “What can I say to that?  I’ve gotta put it out.”  In my book, that was all the thanks I needed. 

I headed to the bank with new amazement for the sovereignty of God at work.  I was overwhelmed that He would use me to touch this brother’s life.  And humbled.  Though I’m definitely smoke-averse, I’m no caped crusader running around extinguishing every tobacco product I see.  (I wasn’t consciously aware that my impassioned plea might have been my personal kickoff for Black History Month).

As my dad (who works in a public high school) says about one of the students he reached out to, “I may not be able to save ‘em all, but he was my starfish that I threw back into the sea.  I made a difference to him.”  The entire world is waiting for us to show the compassion of Christ.  Sometimes that simply means taking the time to say a kind word – filled with the power and boldness of His Word.  I’m glad God answered my morning prayer, ordered my steps, and gave me an opportunity to share HIM with someone that day.  And I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

(Mark 11:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A New Way of Walking

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This is very different indeed.  I used to think I owed it to myself to worry.  Yet, worrying accomplishes nothing productive.  And I’ve discovered that the less I obsess about something, the shorter time it takes for it to work itself out.  Amazing, isn’t it?  I know it sounds silly, but many of us live a significant portion of our lives – too much – wondering about what’s up the road and around the corner.

See, I’m a planner by nature.  Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to give me a husband who is very action-oriented.  Whenever he sees my eyebrows lift and my forehead start to crinkle up, he asks me, “What’s wrong, and what can you do about it?”  Not once does he join me in my grandiose “what if” planning, thinking, pondering, and contemplating until I’m completely preoccupied with the mental chess game I’ve set up inside my noggin in 10 seconds flat.  Instead, he gently guides me to think about the things I do have control over to modify whatever situation I may be facing.

So in this season, I’m resting in Christ, knowing that His Word illuminates the path I am to walk – and I don’t have to worry about it…at all.  As long as I walk in obedience, I’ll reach the destination He has appointed for me.

“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”

(Jeremiah 6:16)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Stop Stressin’!

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When God takes anxiety from you, you may realize that the situation hasn’t changed, but your response to the situation has changed.  How grateful I am to acknowledge that moment in our household finances.  Gone is the angst of wondering, “What’s coming next?”  The struggle with my spouse has subsided as he takes his rightful place as head of the household and I stay in my place of peace as his helpmeet.  As he has been educated in leading us along a sound, balanced path – financially and spiritually – I must move from fretfulness to trust.  I trust God to lead my husband.  Why?

My responsibility is to be a woman committed to prayer and intercession, asking God to impart His direction to my husband for our home.  This takes a lot of pressure off of me – the pseudo-SuperWoman trying to shoulder the load myself…yeah, the load never intended for me to carry!  It is certainly a different approach.  And the results are a breath of fresh air – order, rest, and joy.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 4:6-7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Modern Parable: Stay Connected to the Power Source

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There once was a state-of-the-art iron with all the bells and whistles available on the market – and then some.  There was just one problem on this day:  try as she might, she couldn’t get any wrinkles out the clothes placed in front of her.  After much frustration, angst, and inner turmoil, she finally noticed that her cord wasn’t plugged in.  She realized the reason she wasn’t hot anymore was because she was no longer connected to her power source.

When she reconnected, steam poured out, she whisked through piles of clothes, and was able to fulfill her manufacturer’s given purpose.  Instead of just looking like an iron, she was functioning, performing, and executing exactly as she was supposed to – a top-of-the-line iron.

 Do you ever have days when you feel like that iron did?  When you look the part but are unable to deliver?  Reconnect to your Source of power and see the difference staying connected makes.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

(John 15:5, NIV)

* This is whimsical because anyone who knows me understands that I advocate wrinkle-free fabrics so I can avoid using irons as much as possible…and it’s ironic that my grandfather actually owned a dry cleaning and alterations shop…maybe that gene didn’t get passed to me!  But when God speaks, who am I to edit Him?  🙂

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

To Tell the Tooth

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“Mom, I’m ready for this tooth to come out!  Can you pull it, please?”  Ugh!  I was so proud that Friday night’s gourmet grilled cheese dinner with carrot sticks and celery spears was finished, both children were bathed, and things were going smoothly until my reverie was interrupted by reality.  Why do I always have to be the one to pull this child’s loose tooth?  I had a flashback to the last time this happened during our tightly-orchestrated morning routine.  I survived – actually with flying colors; we even stayed on schedule!  It reminded me that mothers can do anything and miracles still happen every day. 

This time I tried a little psychology to postpone the inevitable.  “Did you ask Mr. Tooth if he’s ready to come out?”  Uh huh.  (Of course he’d say that; I’d better try something else).  “What did he say?”  He said ‘yes.’  “Well, I didn’t hear him say anything; are you sure?”  Yes!  Note to self: Rationalization doesn’t work real well with almost-seven year-olds.

So I hunkered down and summoned the strength that only God can give (because we all know there’s no such thing as the “tooth fairy” – no matter what they may have told you…sorry to burst any bubbles here).  Wielding the magnifying mirror so my son could witness being the science project of the hour, I got some spare cotton from a bottle of vitamins, folded it over, and told him to count to three.  On cue, out came the tiny baby tooth.  The cotton plugged the fresh red hole.  My son was beaming.  I guess I’m a heroine, and I’ve just earned an honorary DDS.  All is well.  God is gracious and kind.  And Daddy will be home soon…

“For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.”

(Proverbs 8:7)

 My Son’s Bedtime Prayer Tonight:

“Dear God, thank You for my tooth that came out, and for the tooth that will grow back…”  That just about sums it up.  Whenever something is taken away, something else – often better, stronger, and permanent – is added.  May we all find comfort in the tooth of this matter…uh, I mean truth.  🙂

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Buildup and Residue

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I was so very warm, cozy, and super comfy in the bed when I muttered to myself, “Must – pass – test.”  See, staying in the bed either when summoned by inspiration to write or when nudged by the Holy Spirit to pray were two areas I’d seriously slacked in.  However, that is not a testimony of excellence…so here I am.  I’ve got to get rid of that residue from the way I “used to” do business.

While getting my hair fixed recently, I saw for myself the impact of product buildup.  The lady in the chair next to me was afflicted by hairspray residue causing a mass of fine flakes that I thought looked like dandruff.  Yes, it looked really bad on the black cape that draped her shoulders.  As the stylist educated her (while I eavesdropped), I began to wonder what it looks like on the inside when we let things build up without getting rid of them over time.  If we don’t wash the junk away regularly, it will accumulate.  So it is with our hearts.  If we allow negative thoughts – or just “plain ol’ sin” in general – to build up, eventually we’re going to explode. 

Real-life examples of residue include oil particulates left in a pan you just washed; egg fragments stuck on a spatula that just ran through the dishwasher; malice, unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, anger, and anything left over from the old fleshly life (attitudes included).  Gasoline commercials warn that buildup on a car’s engine will slow its performance and impede its peak operating effectiveness.  Why wouldn’t it be so with our hearts?  It is.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

(James 4:8)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Stop Travelling a Dead-End Escape Route

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Have you ever tried hiding from your thoughts?  Eventually:

  1. You’ll run out of breath,
  2. They’ll get better technology and overtake you, or
  3. You’ll realize the exercise in futility and stop running – because they’ll always be with you until you deal with them.

 Come to think of it, have I ever really drawn a line in the sand about my eating habits?  Yes, but it was over 10 years ago.  I always want to leave a way out, an escape route, a “Plan B” just in case it doesn’t work out, but that’s a cop-out.  There is no instant fix for replacing unhealthy habits to healthy habits aside from commitment to a lifestyle transformation – and making it happen.  There, I said it.  So now I’m accountable.  Here I go…once again, but I am going in the right direction.

Maybe overeating or under-exercising aren’t your weaknesses.  Perhaps you don’t have any cravings or addictions to speak of, but you hold bitterness, unforgiveness, or anger in your heart.  I challenge you to face whatever holds you back from serving God whole-heartedly – and ask Him to help you to be an overcomer in that area, too.  We want to be balanced (physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially) – instead of looking successful and prosperous on the outside, but in actuality being “tore up from the floor up” on the inside.  Let the journey begin…with Christ as our only way of escape.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

(I Corinthians 10:13)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Facing the Intuitively Obvious

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Why is it so challenging to stay the course when distracted?  Someone else may be permitted to do something that’s not really good for you – but that’s no excuse to join in indulging with them, no matter how close they are to you.

For example, I hear (through my closed bedroom door) the familiar sound of my healthy, nicely-proportioned, not overweight husband getting his pre-bedtime snack.  I hear the click of the dishwasher opening as he reaches for his favorite bowl, the sliding of the drawer to get an eating utensil, and the beeps of the microwave.  Even if I’m not hungry, these sounds trigger behavior that has contributed to me gaining an extra 40+ pounds over the past decade.  At first, late night eating was fun, and joining my spouse with a snack became a habit – a calorie-rich habit.  Now I see that because I wasn’t disciplined enough to make healthier choices, I’m paying for it now.  Ugh.  (Trust me, I didn’t wanna get that real, but in order to make a change, you’ve gotta identify the root cause of the issue and isolate the problem). 

Action-oriented people ask me, “So what are you gonna do about it?”  Instead of seething or having a grossly underattended pity-party, I may as well face the reality of my genetic predisposition to the “magnetic middle area” and not only decrease my food intake, but get moving.  I feel like a broken record because I’ve started and stopped exercise routines more times than I care to count.  So did that cause disappointment?  Yeah, but I didn’t stick to it.  But “it” wasn’t clearly defined (subconsciously or deliberately) so I could give myself an “out” when I failed…talk about defeatist thinking!  Now I can no longer afford to pay the price for failure.  So this is what it means to embrace change, eh?  Hello to a new day and a new way…

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient:

all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”

(I Corinthians 10:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Friend or Foe?

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When you don’t release what’s inside, there’s an unnatural flow and process is hindered.  Watching other people live their dreams (for example, watching hours of reality shows like I did over a long weekend) is ridiculous when you’re stagnating as a result of your own choices, actions, or as it may conversely be, inaction.  No doubt, it’s easy not to change, not to rock the boat, not to push the envelope.  But what has God called us to?  Being transformed by the renewing of our minds through Christ Jesus.

Personal accountability:  I didn’t wanna be put on blast because of what I wasn’t doing, so I thought I could just fade into the woodwork…I mean really, how many people have already read all 40+ of my previous blog entries?  Yet a sister asked me yesterday, “When are you gonna update your blog?”  At first my mind raced defensively, “I started the blog during a 2-week vacation when I wasn’t at work, didn’t have to drive the “mommy bus,” and had time to be alone with my thoughts.”  But all of those so-called reasons were just excuses I was trying to hide behind.  And this sista wouldn’t let me (you know who you are, Tiffy!  LOL).  So I guess I owe her a thank you for telling me the truth.  That’s what a true friend does.  She helped me get back into position and be who God called me, not who I think I am or feel like at a given moment due to circumstances.

And it all comes back to being tested by the Word.  I did just speak about obedience a few days ago, didn’t I?  Big ol’ bull’s-eye on my back like a bright red target…I’d better get it right this time!  It’s reassuring to know I’m not in this alone.

“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

(Proverbs 17:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart