adversity

I’m Having a Moment Here!

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Blobs Kayren-Tine Comic Strip 2-3-2021

We ALL have emotional moments; don’t think you’re the only one!

Having a support system makes all the difference in the world – during tough times and during great times. In the midst of ongoing quarantine, I encourage you to find your tribe. Never before has it been so important to maintain meaningful connections with other humans. I recently joined several amazing virtual groups (come along if you’d like! organizing group here, inspirational book club here, and authors’ network here) that admittedly, if I weren’t stuck at home (er, I mean, having the divine destiny to be with my family pretty much 24/7), I likely would not have reached out to connect with in person. 

Nevertheless, I am already benefitting from exposure to new people with different (or surprisingly similar) mindsets, backgrounds, and experiences. Each group has uniquely challenged me to try new opportunities and to say “yes” to unexpected possibilities.

So today, I embraced a chance to create via a different medium. Instead of limiting myself to writing with words, I tried my hand at expressing my thoughts through a “Kayren-Tine in Quarantine” comic strip (thanks, Canva!). I’m sure there was some subconscious influence from the fantastic Toastmasters webinar (The Humor Workshop – check it out!) I attended today. 

Whaddya think? Please share your thoughts on my first comic strip (since a high school assignment LOL) in the comments section, and tell me how you’re handling those pop-up “emotional moments” of extended quarantine. It’s nice to know someone’s listening, isn’t it? 

Blessings to you,
Kayren

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
(Proverbs 17:22)

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”
(Ecclesiastes 3:4)

“Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.”
(Luke 6:21)

© Copyright 2021 by Kayren J. Cathcart

My Best Gifts Are NOT Under the Tree This Year

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Filled to overflowing with gratitude, overwhelmed by the goodness of God, and perhaps a bit hopped up on the choco-chip-walnut cookies I baked and nibbled too close to bedtime, I had to get up and capture this moment.

Earlier tonight, my teens put the lights on our Christmas tree (without adult supervision!); it was fun to eavesdrop on their bantering conversation. Yesterday, they assembled the tree. I think we’re subconsciously decorating in phases since the boxes of ornaments, tinsel, bows, and all things festive were dragged from the attic and wreaths hung outside two days ago. They left the tree lights on after they went to bed, and I was mesmerized by the simple, unfinished, yet unadorned with ornaments beauty when I caught a glimpse on my way to refill my water bottle.

This year, I am super-excited about the holidays – to the point that I got each member of the family themed holiday pajamas for Christmas morning photos. (#MemoryMakingMama #GuiltyNotSorry!). I’m so excited that I’m ready to wear mine in November! LOL 😜🤣🎉

This is evidence of personal growth that has taken time and diligent self-work. My grandmother passed away on Thanksgiving Day 2008, so the holiday season was bittersweet for me for several years. Not until recently did I personally experience Christ removing the sting of death FOR ME, and it made all the difference. Grief is a process, but so is life, healing, forgiveness, and restoration – and none of these processes should be rushed or glossed over. For too long, I lived suspended between past memories and fantasy wishes beyond my grasp, while attempting to ignore (sometimes harsh) reality. This year, I’m in a place to embrace the entire spectrum of life and all that it holds – and that feels GOOD…like breathing in clean, fresh air.

This year, I am unbound by a calendar. Honestly, I feel that I’ve experienced both Thanksgiving and Christmas in my heart on multiple occasions in the past couple of months…and I look forward to celebrating with my family throughout the remainder of 2020 and into the new year. I’m not waiting anymore. My declaration of appreciation for God’s grace and goodness has already begun. And I’m thankful that this year, my best and most meaningful gifts are not under the Christmas tree. May you discover the same realization to be true for you…

Praying God’s abundant blessings for you and your family during this holiday season,

Kayren

“55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

(I Corinthians 15:55-58)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Dead – or Just Dormant?

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Sometimes the obvious gets our attention like a bucket of cold water in the face, right? We forget the simplest lessons of truth by getting caught up in what we see, feel, hear, and think. When we shake off our sensory-induced stupor, we admit what we realized all along, but didn’t trust or believe 100%.

For the past couple of weeks, the rosebush in my yard (whose lovely blooms have been featured in my blog all Summer long and provided me with a beautiful diversion during quarantine) once again looked dried-up, lifeless, and down for the count. I had stopped even looking in that direction when outside, and had resigned myself to accept that they were gone for the season…but I should’ve known better than to assume this temperamental, scrappy rosebush was done putting out flowers just because the only color I saw was brown vine.

From my August 2019 Can These Bones Yet Live Again? post, I should have recalled:

“May we receive our Heavenly Father’s gentle and poignant reminder that some things that appear to be dead are only dormant…and dormancy lasts for only a season before life re-emerges.”

From my 2011 post on time management (worth revisiting), I should have remembered:

“…some seeds remain dormant for a whole year before becoming productive.” 

Yes, I forgot about the power of the comeback…until this week –  in my haste to grab at least a moment of fresh air between back-to-back conference calls – when I saw 3 tiny buds had emerged from that shriveled up, dead-looking stalk…I was amazed!

I wanted to take a picture, but my phone refused to hold any more data, even after I reluctantly deleted app after app. My wonderful hubby swooped to the rescue (again) to order me an upgraded phone before it crashed (like it did in 2018) as he’d been attempting to prevent for months (again). With my new, fully functional device in hand today, I was able to snap evidence of those 3 roses past full bloom, along with some new buds springing forth.

Instead of being doomsdayish after learning that tonight’s overnight temps may produce frost, I decided to enjoy the floral beauty in this moment. Whatever happens to the roses tomorrow cannot be my focus; right now, they are a gift for me to enjoy, so I’m taking it in!

The moral of this story: No matter what your situation looks like, trust that God is able to breathe new life and restoration into it – all for His glory, and in His time. Stay encouraged…hope springs eternal!

“39 And when he was come in, he saith unto them, Why make ye this ado, and weep? the damsel is not dead, but sleepeth.

40 And they laughed him to scorn. But when he had put them all out, he taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him, and entereth in where the damsel was lying.

41 And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.

42 And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.”

(Mark 5:39-42)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Envelopes of Provision

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Disclosure: This blog post is NOT about getting a physical check in the mail…🙂

This morning, after a couple of days of not feeling my best, I woke up so grateful to be feeling better that I decided to take a walk and watch the sunrise. Ambitious, eh? LOL. I grabbed my water bottle and sunglasses, ready to rack up some steps. About 7 minutes after leaving the house, I felt it: a single raindrop on my forearm. 

I promptly turned around and headed back home, but not before acknowledging the magnificent splendor of the Almighty on display. I marveled at the tropical wind blowing, the clouds quickly overshadowing the sun, and the birds flitting here and there.

I decided to watch the rainstorm roll in from the covert of my porch. I peeped a gecko nibbling on some leaves, realizing I often see them scurrying, but I’d never watched one eat. New experience checked off.

I gaped in amazement as I watched individual raindrops hit the ground and shake blades of grass (or weeds…whatever…it’s still green, and grass sounds more poetic). I usually think of rain in the collective sense…as “a thing” or an entity. This morning, I saw the individual drops coming down and observed each one as a package of provision from the Creator sent to fulfill a specific purpose. One raindrop, followed by another, followed by another in succession over a duration of time yields results: a harvest.

So I thought I’d share my personal object lesson on patience, provision, and the Spiritual Principle of Sow and Reap springing alive before my eyes. In the midst of much turbulence and destruction surrounding us, we have God’s assurance that He cares for us and is attentively watching over us. And that, my friend, is Good News! Stay encouraged…

“Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”
(Psalm 29:2)
“30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive and green today and tomorrow is [cut and] thrown [as fuel] into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
31 Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’
32 For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”
(Matthew 6:30-33 AMP)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

I Don’t Wanna Go THERE!

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Last night, I made beautiful chicken kabobs, assisted in the assembly process by my daughter, a skilled and meticulous chef in her own right. Red onions, multicolored peppers, mushrooms, and okra from our garden added to the nutritious visual feast.

As I took the sheet pans out of the oven while trying not to dump the chicken liquid, I felt the singe of skin…back of my left hand, near my wedding band finger. The irony that even healthy food can hurt ya loomed heavy. In 20/20 hindsight, I wished I’d used 2 full oven mitts instead of relying on plain ol’ flat potholders to do the job. Too late. In a split-second, I was reminded that I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. 

As a mom, I was gonna “walk it off” with the unsatisfying remedy of the ice cube that slipped into the sink after providing a few short-lived moments of relief. My son recommended that I put on some burn cream…and after 5 minutes, I relented & found myself rifling through the first aid kit. That cream almost sizzled as it soothed. Granted, this was a VERY MINOR burn. Nevertheless, it was no less hot (and my skin no less burned and beginning to wrinkle up), and served as a vivid prompt to keep my heart clean by staying in close fellowship with Christ, and walking daily in love, forgiveness, and grace…because I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. Not for a split-second, and certainly not for eternity… 

“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
(Psalm 9:17)
“For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.”
(Psalm 86:13)
“But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
(Matthew 5:22)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Cold or Hot?

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My hubby says I must be “part lobster” because I like to take really hot baths.
I guess all that’s missing is some Old Bay Seasoning…

Through my sleep-deprived coronafog this week, I struggled to get a hot bath on 2 separate occasions – but alas, the faucets were not cooperating. I couldn’t figure out why – after letting the water run for almost 5 minutes – it was still tepid…a most unpleasant prospect for us crustaceans. A semi-warm bath just won’t cut it. Two nights ago, I thought extended showers by my wonderful teens who also ran the dishwasher took all of Mom’s hot water, so I reluctantly resorted to a shower when the bath taps still responded barely warm. I was so tired, I almost stomped through the bathroom. I’m intentionally working on my evening wind-down routine after being in front of computer screens most of the day.

Tonight, my candles were lit and I NEEDED a therapeutic bath with epsom salts. So I went to The Fixer, my handy-dandy hubby (who’d just done a masterful job on our subway tile kitchen backsplash – way to go, honey!). 🙂 He checked the hot water heater that was up as high as it could go. Hot water ran from every other faucet but my tub…until hubby turned the other knob. Seriously…I’ve lived in this house (and been taking hot baths in this same tub) over half a decade and still had to guess which handle dispensed the hot water?! (Yes. I guess I choose to use my cranial capacity for more substantial matters). I shook my head at myself in exhaustion, thanked him for valiantly solving my latest crisis, and prepared to settle in for my hard-won hot bath.

It was one of those “womp womp” moments – like when tech support tells you to try rebooting your computer…which instantly fixes the computer issue you’ve been having…and you wish you’d tried that before waiting 30 minutes to get some assistance. My whole family got a good laugh at my expense, but I was too tired to try to defend the foolishness, and I think they had compassion on me.

This true blonde moment couldn’t be covered by my burgundy hair rinse even if I tried. Frazzled by quarantine as we prepped for the start of a new virtual school year (and possibly a zombie apocalypse), I guess I’d gotten my wires crossed, spatial relations whacked out, and looked at something so common and familiar from the wrong perspective. 

Doesn’t this happen to us spiritually more often than we care to admit? Ah, I am evermore thankful for the gift of glorious grace…

“13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:”
(Revelation 3:13-17)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Away With Murder?

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It’s a really graphic turn of words, but I vividly remember my mom and grandma using it (with tongue-clucking punctuation) to reference unruly chill’uns who were “ackin’ up” and not getting proper or timely discipline for their foolish shenanigans…
(This is Part Two…read Part One of my own foolish shenanigans here)

Perhaps I’ve watched one too many episodes of Cold Case on non-cable antenna TV during this quarantine time (highly likely…along with The Closer, In Plain Sight, Unforgettable, and the iconic classic Perry Mason for my whodunit crime drama fixes throughout the week…because I finished watching all 5 free seasons of Leverage last year), but nobody ever really gets away with murder – literally or figuratively. In the end – even if it’s decades later – the truth comes out.

Confession: So I’ve been inching towards the edge in my eating habits. Like seeing how close I could get to the electric fence without getting zapped. And you know what? It took putting on a dress (withOUT an elastic waistband) to celebrate at my hubby’s recent birthday dinner to show me how the coronapounds have crept (or leapt) upon me. I left 2 inches of back zipper undone and topped my outfit choice with a snazzy sweater to camouflage my transgressive over-eating and under-exercising ways – et voilà! But that didn’t change the fact that the little munchies here and the grazing during endless conference calls there had caught up with me…and were demanding my attention. ZAP!

It took reading my own response to a friend who asked me to check out her recent blog post to bring me out of my delusional, self-deceived reverie of “oh, it’s OK…I’ve just picked up a couple of pounds.” Straight truth, no chaser with a side of full disclosure? No Kayren, you lost over 20 pounds last year…and they all seem to have found you – and brought a few extra friends who wanted to tag along. Whatcha gonna do now?

I encouraged my friend via text tonight – and was immediately convicted:
Don’t ever second-guess what the Holy Spirit has led you to do; it’s NEVER about man’s approval, affirmation, or even acknowledgment. Let God use your work to minister to each reader the way He needs to; all is in HIS capable hands as THE Author. It is posted and published, and HE is doing the work in your readers. Keep moving forward in Him because He has so much more to pour through your available vessel. No looking back! Let it go and move ON!

So why wasn’t I treating myself with the same grace? Why the double standard? Simply put, I’d gotten off-track – thinking I was getting away when I was squarely in His crosshairs, and He was lovingly waiting for me to come into His presence for much-needed recalibration and adjustment.

My prayer: Here I am, Lord…repenting…once again. Thank You for your mercy, cleansing, and patience. You are a loving Heavenly Father to Your children, and I am grateful to be called Your daughter. I present myself for You to continue molding and shaping me into the image of Your Dear Son. Amen.

“But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord:
 and be sure your sin will find you out.”
(Numbers 32:23)

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
(Psalm 145:8)

“2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known.
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
(Luke 12:2-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Full, But Unsatisfied

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Two weeks ago, I thought this was just a “get it off my chest, rambling personal journal entry.”  But now I realize that I have to post it…because I wrote Part Two (unbeknownst to me) today. So here it is – Part One…may you be blessed by this big ol’ heaping helping of transparent exposure…

Have you ever eaten a meal and been stuffed to capacity, only to realize that it did not hit the spot? Or you worked hard to achieve a significant goal, milestone, or accomplishment, only to experience the same nagging void that was there when you started? Yeah, me too. Utterly disappointing, isn’t it? #EpicLetdown

On far too many occasions through my 4 decades-plus of life, I’ve reached the top of a ladder, only to realize I’d placed it against the wrong wall. I’d achieved a goal, but not the fulfillment to accompany it. So what next?

I lost the (same) 20 pounds (again)…only to regain them (again). I got the new job responsibility, accolade, or recognition…only to realize it wasn’t the adrenaline rush I was looking for after all. I tried the new gourmet recipe and presented it to my family with little acknowledgment for the effort…only to feel my high-flying “mom balloon” deflated amongst the empty dirty dishes.

What was I really seeking? Contentment. Affirmation. Fulfillment. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I know that comes only from being at peace with the will of God – not seeking to check off the next achievement. No matter how many things within my span of control (which admittedly are very few) I tweaked, I only experienced satisfaction when I decided to yield to God’s selected path for me in that season. Even when it wasn’t glamorous or sexy. Especially when it felt mundane and routine (quarantine, anyone?).

So how do we change the narrative? Give it up, and give in. Go back to Square One – HIS plan. Yeah, it’s the one that does NOT look like your plan…but it’s custom tailored to fit you perfectly.

My dietician’s recent reminder that we’re never able to satisfy emotional hunger with physical food was a light bulb “aha!” moment and a real game changer. The same premise is true in the spiritual realm: we’re never able to satisfy our spiritual hunger with anything but Christ…we were created with that void He longs to fill. Don’t get sidetracked by distractions…let us focus on the Lord and allow HIM to fill us during this time when He continues to draw us deeper into His presence..

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried:
he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”
(II Samuel 22:31)

“He revealeth the deep and secret things:
he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.”
(Daniel 2:22)

“And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life:
he that cometh to me shall never hunger;
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
(John 6:35)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

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This is dedicated to every father,
with special honor given to Black fathers who are committed to holding their families with strong, protective arms and hearts full of love.
Additionally, those who may not be biological fathers but choose to serve as positive role models in their families and communities are worthy of recognition.

What a time this has been. I begin with an attitude of gratitude after weeks of reflection and introspection. Current events covered by the media only magnify the significance of racial tension that brews, bubbles, and seethes in this “melting pot” of a country. 

I am grateful for my father. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my son who is just on the cusp of manhood and 12 months away from possibly (probably, but I’m OBVIOUSLY still dealing with just a smidge of denial) not residing under my roof, facing the world with what his father and I taught him and surrounded by prayer. I am grateful for the MANY good men and fathers who have graced my life with wisdom, knowledge, insight, instruction, guidance, and discipline through the years. I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful for my faithful and consistent Heavenly Father!

For the pressures, expectations, letdowns, and rejoicings cut too short by reality – over and over again – from my perspective, it looks like being a man these days is a pretty tough job.

Nevertheless, the men I’m fortunate to have in my life are more than built to conquer the tasks presented. Can’t open that stubborn jar? Give it here – I’ve got you! Broken bones or middle of the night child projectiles? No problem – there’s health insurance and a shop-vac for that! Debt that stresses you beyond imagination? Never fear, dear maiden – there’s a plan to address, cover, and conquer that! Scared of the dark, monsters under your bed (or in your closet…or in your past), or the unknowns of the future? Let us pray – I’m here with you, and I know Someone Who will make it all alright for you…especially when I can’t.

For all your perfectly imperfect parts – many or few;
We absolutely couldn’t (and don’t want to) do it without you!

From the girl who doesn’t restrict celebration to a single or specific day, I say TODAY with much respect: Happy Father’s Day! And thank you for your innumerable ongoing sacrifices. And love. And example. And mistakes. And for getting up and getting back in the game even when you’re tired of what seems to be the same ol’ cycle. Be encouraged – because you’re making a difference…every day.

With great appreciation,
Kayren

“1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words:
keep my commandments, and live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding:
forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.”
(Proverbs 4:1-5) 

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Sistahood

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It’s not that Oprah, Michelle Obama, or Beyonce are any more fabulous than anyone already in your personal circles…it’s just that, as celebrities, they’re more widely known. This entire week, my eyes have been opened and my soul awakened to the sheer magnitude of greatness in the women around me. Like these gorgeous new roses blooming in my yard, we find ourselves at different stages of life and levels of growth and development, but our individual beauty enhances the collective landscape.

MY network is invaluable and priceless. I was bursting with pride after Tanya gave her dynamic Toastmasters Icebreaker speech today – I’ve gotta get that well-traveled chick’s autograph NOW! I felt like a million bucks after having an afternoon catch-up chat with Tiphanie; after tag-team encouraging each other for 5 minutes, we finally agreed to have a mutual admiration society for respect of the current and future potential we see in one another, determined and committed with accountability to not let it go dormant. I connected her with Michele who just started her own consulting firm because they’re both young, vibrant, unstoppable, brilliant, and share a similar interest. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for LaKeisha who has actively served as a nurse on the COVID-19 front lines and still takes care of her husband and family with godly devotion like a champ; she’s younger than me, but I consider her a role model in so many ways. Yvette is a creative spiritual powerhouse who – days after attending to her own health issues – was calling to check on me…seriously compassionate. My college friends who group text with me regularly have provided the familiar solace that comes from people knowing you (up, down, sideways, inside and out) for over two decades.

These women (and the scores of others I can’t possibly list here) have been an invaluable part of my support network. The impact of their influence on me has been magnified during these past several months as they provided reinforcement in places I didn’t even know I had needs.

I say it’s time to harness the power of those dynamic people God has already placed in our paths. The next Oprah may already be within your sphere of influence – help her come forth, and she’ll do the same for you. We can nurture and build our environment with genuine friendship, kinship, and relationship. With love, perseverance, and dedication, we CAN change the world as we know it for the better – one step at a time, one day at a time, one intentional action at a time. I’m counting on it…for my daughter’s sake, and her generation. Count your blessings, assess your network, and mount up, sistahs…the time is NOW! OUR time is now!

Thank YOU for being part of my network – I am truly grateful!

p.s. It goes without saying that as we strengthen our sisterhood network, we put ourselves in better position to support our brothers…

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
(Psalm 133:1)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart