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Dread: The Thing That I GREATLY Feared Has Come Upon Me

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Just when I thought it was safe to come out…my son brought home The 2nd Grade Science Fair Project Guidelines.  Cue scary music… I hope my kindergartener doesn’t have to do one.  But I think it’s a school-wide project, so I’m waiting for that other shoe to drop any day now.  Ugh!

A little background:  throughout my tenure as a grade school student, Science Fair Projects (gulp) were my absolute bane.  Make no mistake, I could do them, it was just the process that I disdained immensely.  Why?  Because it challenged my time management abilities, caused me to plan and execute (I was great at the planning, but sloppy in my execution, which usually entailed waiting until the last minute), and made me wonder, “What exactly does this have to do with real life anyway???  I’m a literary person, so why do I have to deal with this science stuff?”

Fear and trembling ensued as I looked at The Timeline page (that was nice of ‘em to spell it out).  Remain calm, I coached myself.

  • Concept and project materials write-up due February 15 – that’s next week.
  • Progress Update due March 4 – that’s in a few weeks.
  • Final Project due April 26 – arrrrgggghhh!  On top of everything else going on, now I have a SCIENCE PROJECT to facilitate?!?

I lost it – flipped into panic mode and punched the red emergency button.

I’ve asked my wonderful hubby for support in making sure my son’s project gets done well…since he watches the Science Channel for fun (go figure!), he should be a great resource.  I let him know my angst, trepidation, and bumpy history with these things, but I know I can’t get around involvement in this endeavor.  Since my hubby thrives on challenges, he gets just as much of a thrill out of seeing other people confront their challenges – whether they want to or not.  So I’m gonna have to face this.  And not just deal with it, but conquer it. I’m too old to keep running away.

Amazing…so I’m gonna have to quote and live II Timothy 1:7…(flashback to the 80s) just like when my mom would tell me when I had my own Science Fair Project assignments, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  Make no mistake, saints: there’s no escaping a lesson God wants you to learn.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  Yet, here I am 20+ years later staring at Science Fair Project Guidelines – again.  And I thought I’d “graduated” when I got through “The Great Play-Doh Turtle-in-a-Shoebox Animal Habitat Project” of October 2009 with my mind intact.  What teacher gives kindergartners projects anyway???  Apparently, the teachers of my children.  Stay tuned…there’s definitely more to come…and I’ll be growing right along with my children.  Sigh!

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

(Job 3:25)

 “Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.”

(Psalm 55:5)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fix It Up Anyway: The Illusion of “As Is”

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This one’s short, sweet, and to the point…

While waiting for the train yesterday, I was struck by the realization that most folks don’t want to change.  Why?  Because we don’t feel like it.  Or we don’t think we need to.  We’re think we’re fine just the way we are.  In the spirit of full disclosure, you should know that I happen to be one of those change-resistant people.  I am maturing as I begin to appreciate the integral, intrinsic, and essential role of change in my personal growth. 

When you buy something, like a car – even if it has a tag on it that reads “For Sale AS IS” – don’t you have a right to fix it up?  Of course you do!  So why do we attempt to block God’s right to change our hearts?  Sure, He receives us “as is,” but He wants to work on us to improve our value.  He purchased us with the costly blood of His only Son, Jesus.  Therefore, if He wants to strip the old paint of emotional baggage from us or bang some dents out of our flawed character, we must allow Him access to do so.

As Christians, our relationship with Christ is not static, but it is dynamic and ever-changing.  Which means that, as He fixes us up for His glory, we have to change.  Daily.  What will you allow God to change in you today?

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

(I Corinthians 6:19-20)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Veggie Sausage Revelation: Are You Hot, Cold, or Lukewarm?

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So what exactly does me choosing veggie sausage have to do with obedience?  Nothing and absolutely everything – all at the same time.  I say “nothing” because, in the big scheme of the cosmos, choosing veggie sausage isn’t really that big of a deal (turkey sausage ain’t half bad, right?).  Yet, I say “absolutely everything” because, in light of eternity, veggie sausage represents (for me) obedience to God and the process it takes to do so.  Because it’s not a one-time decision; it’s the start of a commitment to continue doing the right thing (lower cholesterol), the healthier thing (less fat), the better thing (even if other family members choose meat)…the obedient thing.  That’s the bottom line.  Indulge me for a moment as I elaborate… 

In the past, I’d be presented with two choices (obedience to God vs. what I wanted to do) – and they were usually diametrically opposed.  Instead of automatically relying on the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth, sometimes, I’d make my decision by mentally flipping a coin; other times, I’d try to do the right thing; and occasionally, I’d create a hybrid blend of the two (read: hot mess – actually, lukewarm and spewed out).  Needless to say, the hybrid doesn’t yield consistent results because it takes some properties from both sides of the fence…and we know what happens when we straddle the fence, now don’t we?!

So what’s your veggie sausage?  That decision you’ve been skipping over and postponing for far too long?  The linchpin that will lead to you getting back on track in other areas of your life?  Yeah, that one.  God wants you to make the decision as He leads, and walk in obedience to His will.  Can veggie sausage do all that?  Yes, my friend, all that and more…

“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”

(Revelation 3:15-16) 

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Urgency and Immediacy: And So It Goes

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This unexpected news was so impactful that I’m deferring my much-awaited homemade taco salad (and ignoring my growling stomach) after just working out for 45 minutes – because I need to capture these thoughts while they’re fresh.

Amazing.  The company I utilized in 2006 to self-publish my first inspirational daily devotional has closed as of Friday, January 28, 2011.  But they just sent an e-mail notification to their authors today – Tuesday, February 1, 2011.  I know nothing lasts forever, but what to do with all of my grandiose ideas for sequels and series?  I guess that’s a signal for “Plan B.”  Or else I procrastinated and missed it on follow-through with “Plan A.”  Or a bit of both.  Yet another lesson to underscore the importance of moving when God says move. 

A little background:  I pass by the publisher’s building twice a day since it’s in my neighborhood.  Recently, I’d been peering more intently at the sign, but I was content to see the sign still up, so I thought things were “normal.”  Boy, was I ever wrong.  Sometimes the way things appear on the outside are in stark contrast to what’s really happening inside.  Without that nudge from the Holy Spirit, I might’ve been very surprised to find out this business was closing – they were great people to work with, and they delivered excellent customer service in a timely manner.  Now (in retrospect – as they say, hindsight is 20/20), I realize that God was preparing me for (yet another) transition – yes, the ubiquitous and unannounced change that is so prevalent these days.  For whatever reason, they are now closed and I’ll need to find another publisher to work with. 

Nevertheless, there are options God’s already been showing me, so I have peace – because He wants His Word to be shared, and He will always open doors for that to happen.  The good news:  I will be able to get my files, so the book can be reproduced in its printed form when I choose another publisher to work with.  The funny thing – at least 2 weeks ago, God spoke to my heart about making the book available as an e-book.  Yes, online.  Yes, at no cost.  So, I must obey…and today’s occurrence is a push over the edge of the cliff to make sure I do that.  There must be someone waiting for the message He gave me in that book, so it’s gotta be disseminated…even if it’s in spite of me.

I understand that the only stable, reliable, and dependable constant in this economy is Christ.  I also realize that sometimes you don’t get a chance to adjust your tie before escaping a flash mob.  To put it another way: what good is it to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic when it’s definitely going down?  My point?  Yes, I have one:  things can change so quickly.  Pay attention to the cues around you in this season.  Just scan the headlines for current events around the globe and you’ll have to agree:  it’s important to be aligned with God’s will and His timetable – now.  Really?  Yes, seriously – NOW!

“Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.”

(Hebrews 4:7)

“He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

(Revelation 22:20)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Deafening Silence: Cutting Through the Clutter of Noise

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“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

– Epictetus, philosopher 

Now that things are quieting down in my atmosphere, I realize how much turmoil I’d been stirring up in my own life just by being involved in – and caught up in – idle activity.  Classic case of the good thing vs. the God thing.  Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it.  I’m not called to be anyone’s savior; I must point them to The Savior.  I can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves.  I heave a sigh of relief as I release the cares of the world that I never should’ve picked up in the first place. 

A glimpse into my prayer of realignment:

So I finally find myself alone in Your presence, Lord.  What comfort, what joy to return to the waiting arms of My Creator, the One Who understands me – and loves me still.  What great and necessary steps to take in preparation for ministering the song “With All My Heart” (“in this quiet place with You, I bow before Your throne…”).  A slight nod, a tip of the hat, and a wave of my hand was the most I could give you before uttering an exhausted “Thank You, Lord” that could scarcely be categorized as a prayer before tumbling into bed.  How that must grieve You when You ask for my best.  You gave Your best gift, so why should I not follow Your lead?  What a travesty that I haven’t made bowing or quiet before You my #1 priority.  Please forgive me Lord, I pray…

How do you spend your time?  It’s currency, you know!  Whether wisely invested or foolishly frittered away, time doesn’t stay – it goes.  The critical question is:  Where is your time going?  If you don’t know, can you really be considered an effective steward over this valuable commodity our Lord has entrusted to you?  If you do know and it went in a direction not guided by the Holy Spirit, but instead was influenced by worldly desires and fleshly lusts, repentance is in order.

How our time is spent directly correlates to and accurately reflects our heart’s true priorities.  Big time bandits and thieves include technological advances, cleverly disguised as conveniences or creature comforts (to name a few:  mindless TV-watching; unedifying movies; sensual music; flesh-gratifying games, hobbies, and pastimes; gossipy magazines; carnal websites; and leisurely activities) that capture your attention to divert it from time well-spent with Christ – communing, fellowshipping, and learning of Him, His character, His plan and will for your life, and His wisdom for you today.

I couldn’t hear God clearly through the distortion caused by a muddled multitude of voices competing for my undivided attention – quite impossible!  That’s what you call an unrealistic expectation. 🙂  So I had to silence some voices by shuttin’ ‘em down.  Serious business, because they were loud.  But my peace is priceless.  Getting off the dizzying, speeding merry-go-round, I’m finally regaining my equilibrium and balance.  Steady now!  Swooning and careening, I can’t believe how long I was “under the influence.”  But now I’m free and I see reality.  Please purge, purify, and cleanse me, Lord.  Make me white as snow.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

(Psalm 46:10)

“… but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.”

(I Thessalonians 4:10b-12)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Waiting in Line: An Opportunity to Practice Patience (and to be perfected)

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Happy New Year to y’all in the blogosphere!  My new year is off to a great start – how about yours?  Thanks for reading; I look forward to another year of growth as we continue to mature and develop with the help of God’s Word.  Be abundantly blessed and stay encouraged! 🙂

Grateful to approach yet another birthday, I found myself at the DMV to renew my driver’s license earlier this month.  Unfortunately, the stereotypes about government offices held true during this visit; it ended up not being the most enjoyable way to spend my day off from work. However, it was necessary since I wanted to remain in good standing with the State.  In light of the fact that neither folding my arms, tapping my toes, rolling my eyes, nor sighing with visible exasperation would change my predicament, I prepared myself mentally for the imminent line.

So I waited outside.  In the cold.  Behind a young pregnant lady…and her icky cigarette smoke blowing into my face.  And I realized that being anxious wouldn’t speed things up one bit.  We finally got inside the door (with the heat) within 5 minutes.  I moved up a slot after the fresh-faced teenager (behind the pregnant lady) discovered she’d have to come back tomorrow.  Because of her place near the back of the line, she wasn’t guaranteed to be seated for the road test by 4:00 p.m. – which of course, was a requirement.  It was 3:15 p.m.  I could tell this was gonna take a while…with the “standing room only” area obviously near capacity, the line inside the building wound its way through several velvet ropes.  This was like hanging around a club I didn’t want to pay a cover charge to enter…

By the time I’d reached the front of the line, I’d served as the Unofficial Southern Welcome Wagon to a nice lady who’d recently moved here from Wisconsin.  If I must pass the time, at least I can be kind to someone, right?  I even held up my mirror for the pregnant lady while she put on eye shadow for her impending “photo opportunity.”  She put more effort into her glam look than I put into my own; I was ready to get outta that cramped place that looked like it was stuck in the 80s!

At 4:05 p.m., a matter-of-fact DMV employee announced to those still in line that there were no guarantees they’d get a terminal for the computer test today (do we see a theme here?)…so I guess it’s “wait at your own risk?”  At least by then, I was out of the dreadful line and seated behind the counter amongst strangers who looked more annoyed than I felt.

Anyhoo, as steady progress was made – hallelujah! – my number was finally called!  I didn’t have to use corrective lenses to pass the sign test…bless the Lord for the wonders of LASIK surgery!  And my hair looked great since my sister had just given me new highlights for my birthday gift.  I’m thinking my picture will look pretty decent for someone who’s been on the planet over 3 decades!  But I’d have to wait to see it since it the official copy had to be mailed to me…yes, more waiting.  I folded the temporary paper I’d have to retain as my proof of certification to operate a motor vehicle and added it to my wallet.  I was glad to be on my way before 5:00 p.m.  It hadn’t been so bad after all. 

Funny how time changes so many things.  I am grateful for another year of life – truly, time is in God’s hands.  Come to think of it, I’m very appreciative for His patience with me.  How are you practicing patience this year?

“I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.”

(Psalm 40:1-3)

 

“And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.”

(II Thessalonians 3:5) 

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Low

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Maybe I’m wrong, but somehow, I just don’t think anyone signs up for a class in humility.  Yet, when the wake-up call comes, it’s like, “Oh yeah, the Word does tell me to humble myself, doesn’t it?”  It’s no mystery, and it’s not rocket science.  It’s part of our faith walk.  And when we walk in humility, we’re in a position that captures God’s attention because we’re acknowledging Him as sovereign and supreme in our lives – and not just relegating Him to the position of someone we consult from time to time when things get tight.

Humility has been one of my Pastor’s key sermon highlights for several weeks, but obviously, I didn’t get the personal message until I saw blinking neon lights and arrows pointing straight at me.  Well, God’s got my attention now, for sure.  And as much as I know I’ve grown this year (insert retrospective year-end reflection music here), He showed me ever so gently today that He will require all the more of me in the coming days of the new year.  It’s not an emotional thing; it’s an obedience thing.  So I should give God what He wants, not just what’s convenient for me, right?  Right.

And that requires humbling myself, realizing that whatever ideas I can come up with in my finite mind could NEVER surpass the plan of the almighty, omnipotent, omnipresent God Who created me.  What an humbling thought.  Perhaps getting low is the best way to enter a new year…on my knees and with my heart bowed in true worship. 

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

(I Peter 5:5-7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Take Another Look: Before and After

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Many times when I’m at home, I eat “on the go” while standing up at the counter.  Today, God nudged me to slow my pace and sit down at the table.  Really?  OK.  I opened the curtains to survey my backyard while I enjoyed my lunch.  Sure, I see my backyard all the time.  But today, I took a moment to really look at it.  And what I saw surprised me.

Today is overcast, gray, and cloudy.  The badminton net my hubby triumphantly struggled to anchor to the ground has blown over into defeated crumple.  A lone bird sits atop a neighbor’s roof.  The box where our garden thrived has been cleared out; it’s an empty space now.  Not one leaf remains on the tree swaying in the cold, biting wind.  Palm tree stumps – all that’s left of what got hewn down after the first frost – sit staunchly as if waiting for warmth that is nowhere in sight.  Huge patches of brown grass outnumber sprigs of rapidly fading green grass.  What a bleak and dreary picture.

It seemed like just a few weeks ago when birds chirped happily as they raided the bird feeders.  Sunbeams streamed through puffy clouds on the backdrop of a bright blue sky, sometimes laced with a delightful rainbow if we peeked at the right time.  Our garden yielded a weekly bounty of fresh vegetables bursting with life.  The green palm trees my hubby planted waved in the warm gentle breeze.  Leaves and cherry blossoms filled another tree, and a lush carpet of grass invited us out to play until sunset.  Yet, looking at the backyard reminded me of the importance – and inevitable passing – of the seasons.  After having a kinda “blah” day yesterday, I needed that message:  this too shall pass. 

I love watching makeover shows like “What Not To Wear,” “How Do I Look,” “Neat,” and “Clean House.”  Seeing the transformation of a person’s thought patterns – as evidenced by an improvement in their personal appearance or a new arrangement of their living space – is intriguing to me.  Perhaps this backyard glimpse was just the reminder I needed that God’s promise of newness will surely accompany the approach of Spring.  I am thankful for the quiet moment of reflection as I anticipate God’s promises yet to be fulfilled…a new year awaits around the corner, doesn’t it?

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Old Keys

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After my hubby recently got a new front door installed, he then installed a new lock and gave me the new key.  I put it on my already full key ring, right next to the old (and now obsolete) house key.  Why was I keeping the old key?  I reasoned, “I’ll put the new key next to the old one so the old shape can trigger a reminder that I need to select and use the new one.”  Sound convoluted?  I agree.  But worse, I realized this morning that I have a bunch of old keys that I’m carrying around every day in my purse – to what avail?

Let’s see…I have the copies of my mom’s old 4-door Pontiac 6000 that I drove during sophomore year of college when I had a spring internship (yes, that was in the late 1990s), AND consequently, that car was sold a long time ago.  Yeah, I suppose I could get rid of those two useless keys.  Then there’s the key to my grandmother’s house (rest her soul; she passed away two years ago on Thanksgiving Day); I suppose I’m keeping that for sentimental reasons.  Since I haven’t lived at that address for 10 years, and they’ve since added a deadbolt (for which I don’t have the key), that’s not doing me any good! 

So really, I guess the only key I need to carry on a daily basis is my current house key (for the new door) and my current vehicle keys.  Organization really is God’s plan to simplify our lives.  But I could’ve attested to that yesterday while cleaning out my purse when I (finally) discarded receipts and grocery lists over 6 months old…geez, old clutter can accumulate unawares until it becomes a mountain…attack first! And wouldn’t you know that today’s Weight Watchers meeting talked about “having a ceremony to retire our old materials – get rid of ‘em; they won’t work anymore!” since we’ll be learning about a completely new program rolling out after Thanksgiving?  I’ve got more “throwing out” to do; God really knows how to underscore a message…

The moral of this diatribe:  Get rid of old baggage that serves no purpose in your present.  A key is only as valuable as what it’s able to unlock.  What “old keys” (or memories, thoughts, habits, photos, or other items) do you need to discard today?

“And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.”

(Mark 2:22)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Just One – Really?

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moderation – restraint, control, self-control, temperance

Moderation isn’t popular these days.  I’ve found that it goes hand-in-hand with that discipline thing…and isn’t temperance a fruit of the Spirit?  Yeah…Galatians 5.  Pop culture glorifies and glamorizes excess in just about everything – and now we want more of just about everything.  The multitude of marketing and advertising messages that constantly bombard us through a variety of media (strategically crafted for millions of dollars, might I add) tease, tantalize, and tempt our senses.  We can almost smell, feel, and taste things we see dancing across our TV screens – that’s pretty powerful!

As I munched on some Pringles chips the other day, I remembered the jingle they used a few years ago, “Once you pop, you can’t STOP!”  With all intentions of having “just a few chips,” I started humming as I crunched and drifted into reminiscing on the days when my mom packed Pringles for my own lunches…before Weight Watchers, before being a “responsible adult,” before counting the “few chips” I’d surpassed.  Before I knew it, 4 chips, then ¼ of the can, and finally 1/3 of the can had disappeared – all with mindless nibbling and thinking about a catchy product tune!  I quickly snapped back to reality as I glanced at the label, fat content per serving, and calculated how much I’d need to exercise to burn off that little “snack detour.”  Now I won’t go so far as to say that I believe some dark forces implanted ideas into my brain as a child and are triggering them in my adulthood to make me overweight (think “The Manchurian Candidate”)…or would I???  LOL…

In all seriousness, we have to stay on guard and fight the wiles of the enemy.  Random ideas and fleeting, idle thoughts often come to accost us – the challenge is what we do with them.  Will we actively choose to walk according to the Word, or will we passively allow the flesh to dominate?  Will we submit ourselves to God and resist the devil, or will we fallaciously continue to think we have the power to have “just one?”  Don’t fool yourself – obedience to God’s Word is the best choice.  Perhaps I should create a new tune, “If you don’t pop, you won’t have to stop!”

“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.”

(Philippians 4:5)

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

(James 4:7-8) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart