discipline

Feeling Tossed?

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Do you ever feel tossed (like an ocean wave…or a really hearty salad) when things don’t go as planned or expected (like no March Madness 2020)? I do…

A lot has changed in my corner of the world since I posted at the beginning of the month. You can probably say the same. It’s just that kind of time. 

At the beginning of the month, I took a vacation day from work to celebrate “Happy Hardworking ME Day!” (ME = Mommy Extraordinaire)…I scheduled my first mani/pedi in several months and enjoyed the royal treatment at Elevation Beauty & Nail Spa  (shout-out to my new fave nail spot in the University area for pampering and perspective maintenance)…highly recommend!

Today, I’m prepping for Week 3 (of 2 months *minimum*) support of my children who are physically out of their school classroom environment and transitioning into distance learning from home. Does this make me a Schoolmaster? Um, yes…

At the beginning of the month, I was excited about being assigned to a new project at work.

Today, I find myself struggling to adjust to working from home 100% without ANY options to go into the office as our entire state is under “stay at home” directives.

At the beginning of the month, Daylight Saving Time impacted my circadian rhythm…who knew 1 hour could make such a huge impact on your life? I found out a few years ago. LOL

Today, I find myself irritable as my inner night owl natural tendencies collide with my domestic and professional responsibilities that start earlier in the morning than I can sustain on a few hours of sleep. I’m working towards a healthy balance of proper rest (being awake to know there’s a 2am national news show on is NOT helping my plight), regular exercise (though sporadic exercise would be more than I’m doing right now), and wise food choices (eating the majority – but not all! – of a homemade iced lemon pound cake…by myself…in 2 days…without remorse…is probably less than beneficial). #JudgmentFreeZone #PandemicCaloriesDontCountDoThey 🤣

Perhaps, like I do, you find yourself grasping for some semblance of normalcy as “the new norm” is being reshaped for our respective communities each day – and sometimes being redefined every few hours. It seems like as soon as I make one adjustment, five more unexpected changes are hurled my way, and I’m accountable for responding properly with wisdom and maturity – and then adapting quickly…no matter how stretched to capacity I may feel.

Nevertheless, God’s Word – as always – offers comfort, assurance, and strength for this particular part of the journey we find ourselves travelling. When we are afflicted and tossed, He promises to establish us – in Himself…the Solid Rock. He is with us in the midst of every trial and tribulation – to teach us lessons in the fires of adversity, and to bring us forth refined as pure gold, without even the smell of smoke!

Even as things around us appear to deteriorate rapidly, may we endure, stay encouraged, and seek the “blessing in disguise” right under our noses. A family member, friend, or neighbor who is ill or has a need may present an opportunity for us to be the hands and feet that extend the love of Christ through needed acts of service. A child you’re suddenly “shut in” or “locked down” with for weeks (or months – grace & mercy please, Lord! 😇🙏🏼) on end may be the answer to prayers you prayed long ago for the reconciliation and restoration of right relationship. And believe it or not, when you humble yourself enough to admit your own need, you may find a source of support available TO YOU that you never knew existed.

“Social distancing” in a physical sense doesn’t mean we withdraw from connecting in meaningful ways with those we care about. We must be more creative and intentional about finding ways to reach out to those who need to experience kindness and compassion.

God has equipped us for this battle, and already calls us MORE than conquerors through Christ. May we see our present assignments as gifts for us to be further strengthened and prepared as saints of the Most High who share the Good News of the Gospel in love and with joy every time there is an open door. When we look around, I believe we’ll see that our next door is not at all far away…

I’m praying blessings, safety, and good health for you and your family,
Kayren

“11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.
12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.
13 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.
14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.”
(Isaiah 54:11-14)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

But After That…

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As promised, here’s the “Part 2” that follows Living in Malice & Hating One Another…

The “before” is that we were “…living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.” (Titus 3:3) 

Verse 4 of the same chapter tells us what the “after” of this looks like: “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared.”

We must change. Allow Him to give us a spiritual heart transplant. Learn from the example of Christ to let it go. Lay it on the altar and leave it there for Him to consume our sacrifice with fire. Yes, something has got to die.

Even if it’s my pride – because I feel justified…’cuz You KNOW I was right, Lord…right? I’m just sayin’…

But after that…

Once we reflect on our OWN state without God’s grace poured out on the undeserving, it leads us (if we are malleable and tenderhearted) to repentance. Humbleness of heart and mind, both  evidenced by an adjusted response.

But after that…

Forgiveness. Whether I feel they deserve it or not…but who am I to judge who deserves what anyway?! Because when it gets right down to it, I sure don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, grace, mercy, favor, and extravagant love. 

But after that…

I have to submit, surrender, and obey. Follow the example of Christ. Forgive 70 x 7 times…ouch!

As I mature, I’m learning that it’s OK to be angry or frustrated – or even both at the same time. It’s OK to cry. It’s even OK (for a little while) to feel like NOBODY else on the planet understands. 

But after that…

My Transparent Prayer of Repentance:
Lord Jesus, I have something to say, and I need to be heard. Too bad it feels like <fill in the blank for yourself> ain’t listening, but I can’t allow or afford for anyone to derail the plan of God to get the glory from my life. So I yield to You once again, my Savior. Help me in those places that are still hurting, broken, wounded, and need Your touch. You see and You know…and I can feel You at work in my life. Please help me to be patient as You faithfully complete the work You’ve begun in me. I am thankful that You hear this prayer in Jesus’ name (so I don’t act a fool again and let my emotions carry me like a runaway roller coaster). Amen.

“4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”
(Titus 3:4-8)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Living in Malice & Hating One Another

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Not me!

Well, the title of this post certainly doesn’t describe a paragon of Christian brotherly love, now does it? Yet, from time to time, we ALL have to admit that we don’t feel loving, kind, gracious, forgiving, slow to anger, or any of the other virtues that mark a life touched by the efficacious and all-powerful Blood of Jesus.

So what are we to do when we find ourselves in this quandary, or in a similar conundrum?

We must reflect. See ourselves through the lens of God’s Word. I’ll give you a head start (because there IS a Part 2 for us) by sharing the Scripture He pointed out for ME to work on to clean up the dirty ugliness that lurked in my own heart – the extent and magnitude of which were unbeknownst to me until an unexpected eruption…

“1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.”
(Titus 3:1-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Casting Down Techno-Idols

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So I deleted my favorite puzzle app from my phone last week. Again. For like the 50th time. Seriously. Embarrassing to admit (especially since I know what a trap it can become when I get mesmerized by the oh-so-temptingly enticing and subtly seductive “Play Again?” option), but true. It’s kinda like comfort food – you know you’ve had it before, but it just feels so good and, well, comfortable that you settle into that familiar pattern. And before you know it, hours have passed, necessary priorities remain incomplete, and all you have to show for it is some empty, non-productive, unfulfilling leisure and entertainment time you’ll never get back or recover.

Wonder of wonders, one of my children was dealing with the same techno-idol issue (though with different apps…I’m NOT a millennial LOL). It’s no fun for a parent to identify weeds in their children that they see in themselves, but every issue has a root and an origin…my compulsive nature didn’t start with me…IJS.

The good news: When I released my embrace of a habit that wasn’t propelling me forward in God’s plan for my life (and was consuming WAY too much time I needed to put on higher priorities), I saw Him move in my entire family and set some other things in order that I’d had on the altar. That same child had a breakthrough TODAY from distractions that had led to disorganization, and I’m so grateful that my obedience to God paved a road for someone else to be able to make a positive and beneficial change. May we continue to allow God to align EVERY AREA of our lives to HIS will, plan, and purpose… all for HIS glory…Amen!

“2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee
out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
(Exodus 20:2-3)

“5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”
(II Corinthians 10:5-6)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Truth in the Inward Parts

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yellow flowers

I thought these flowers were beautiful – like truth!

I was riding in the car this evening and my wonderful hubby was talking to me. When I thought he was finished, I interjected something. He said, “You just corrected me and shot down my sweet words!” That really wasn’t my intention, so I quickly responded, “Oh, I’m sorry that I cut you off, sweetie.” But at that moment, I wasn’t sorry, and I wasn’t thinking he was a sweetie. I felt misunderstood, and I had to actively CHOOSE not to let something so minor turn into a full-blown offense. But I still got indignant and clammed up. 

At that moment, the scripture about God “desiring truth in the inward parts” (Psalm 51:6) bubbled up and I heard a still, small voice saying, “You’re not being honest.” The Lord convicted me on-the-spot, right there in the car where I had nowhere to escape for the remainder of the ride. It stung!

So then I got indignant with God. Yeah – that was a pretty saucy (and utterly foolish) move since I’m pretty sure I saw some lightning accompany the raindrops falling on the windshield. I had to admit that He had found me and hit the bullseye right on the mark. I knew better as a mature Christian. I had to humble myself and repent – immediately. 

Initially, I felt JUSTIFIED ‘cuz at least I was polite and respectful, right? WRONG – my feigned apology was not coming from a pure heart or a place of truth, so it was just empty words. And was that the stench of PRIDE I was trying to cover up with the sweet perfume of good manners and civility? The reflection in the Holy Ghost mirror was ghastly and anything but holy. Egads – woe is me, what a wretch undone am I! The hidden recesses of my innermost thoughts were severely contaminated with self-righteous indignation.

Lord, I pray that You continue to help me to walk in YOUR truth…because “my truth” (the popular catchphrase) is mired in self-deception. Help me to not lean to my own tainted and limited understanding, but to acknowledge You in ALL of my ways so YOU can direct my paths. Thank You for loving me enough to peel back the layers of the façade I’ve tried for so long to project  – all so You can expose the toxic things that need to be removed from my life because they don’t please You or bring You glory. May I, in turn, extend lavish grace to others – as you have showered me with Your lovingkindness and tender mercies. Amen.

“Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.”
(Psalm 51:6)

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
(Philippians 4:8)

“I have no greater joy
than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
(III John 1:4)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Cleansing Cometh: More Transition…Really?!

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Trust me – this IS progress; the drawer WAS fully stuffed yesterday…

So a co-worker called me the offensive “h-word” today…no, not heifer…hoarder. I smarted as if I’d been stung by a bee, wondering where that zinger came from. I thought I had made progress. And I had, until it became incumbent upon me to prepare for the inevitable office move of less than 50 feet to the other side of the SAME floor (side glance – now what executive thought this was an efficiency-saver?! Riiight…). With 2 days to go, I was definitely under pressure and behind the power curve.

Honestly, I can understand my co-worker’s point (I know she meant no harm, and it really was ridiculous the amount of stuff I’d collected while sitting there since 2014 – and of course I brought a few things from previous roles, too. Or maybe more than a few, it seems…). I also understood the moving coordinators who stopped by ever-so-often to gently inquire if I was gonna make the “be off the floor ‘cuz the movers are here” Friday at 2pm deadline. As the pressure mounted, I felt myself getting more overwhelmed. (I’d already had a mini-meltdown when stripping the cube walls earlier in the week – everything looked so stark, empty, and blank. Then I saw my children’s baby pictures and reflected on my youngest now heading to high school and the tears started leaking out of my eyelids. It wasn’t a pretty moment. Thankfully, it passed quickly).

As I toted papers to the shred bin, another co-worker peeked her head out from behind her computer monitor – a new employee who I noticed like to write, just like me. However, I discovered her hidden superpower today: organizing. She watched me swoosh past her desk several times frantically ferrying the many small to mid-sized boxes I’d accumulated over years of administrative support “just in case someone needs ‘em, I’ve got ‘em!” Finally she asked me, “Are you OK?” And I sheepishly whispered that I’d just been called a hoarder and I needed to speed up my purging if I was gonna make the packing deadline without the movers tossing any remaining unpacked items – of which I had many lingering.

With a single sentence, she tossed me a lifesaver of hope, “When you get to your new cube, we’re going to get you off to a fresh, new, organized workspace.” Wow – someone who barely knew me was offering to help me (because it was obvious that I desperately needed assistance since my plan to keep accumulating and stuffing had finally reached the breaking point – no pun intended…I think my file drawers were at capacity).

So today’s lesson is this: At some point, you’ve gotta take some stuff out to maintain a healthy balance; you can’t keep shovin’ stuff in. This goes for emotions, relationships, food, whatever…

Let the cleansing continue.

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My desk & shelves haven’t been this empty since I moved into this cube in 2014…I’m learning to travel lighter – that’s for sure!

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
(Psalm 51:10)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Moving Tales: Preparing to Sojourn

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To you, it may appear to be a messy gaggle of office products, but to me, the beautifully arrayed colors of these lovely items spell office product BLISS. Who knew that many binder clips lay nestled in my files, multiplying and plotting their takeover? (given the right moment and opportunity, it could happen…)

I was too embarrassed to even snap a pic of the “just in case” pineapple chunks that I’d obviously had so long that the can had popped, the product had disintegrated, crusted over, and evaporated to half its former juicy volume, and there was brown rust everywhere in that bag. Out of an abundance of caution, I tossed the can of lentil soup labeled “best before 2013.” Volunteering at Second Harvest Food Bank should’ve reminded me that there really is such a thing as shelf life. How is it that I hadn’t gone in that file drawer for so long that I was unaware of the biological hazard lurking behind me every day?! Geesh!

Is there never a time when I’m not in transition? Maybe God plans it that way so we constantly have to depend on HIM for strength, guidance, direction, instruction, correction – and to be sustained. Because growth doesn’t occur naturally when we stay in the same position too long. We’re built to grow and develop. It would look crazy for an almost-adult 12th Grader to sit in a kindergarten-sized chair every day. I know this, yet I balk when it comes time to change and get uncomfortable with something else unfamiliar. And since I’m not all-knowing (while God IS all-knowing), I should just embrace this as the way things are – by His divine design.

“8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
(Isaiah 55:8-9)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Purging My Burgeoning Past: Approaching the End of an Epoch

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Old files that I decided to ROLL to the shred bin for the sake of time…and that was just the second load of the second day!

It’s an office move…these things happen every day, all around the world – why is this one impacting me so significantly? Why does it feel like a major theatrical production from my perspective? I mean, how sentimental is it to clean out old meeting agendas and filed, approved, and paid expense reports for a manager I don’t even support any more…and haven’t for over 3 years? She has moved on…why haven’t I? It may have something to do with my college friends recently revealing they nicknamed me MacGyver because I was always prepared. I laughed out loud…I guess I’ve always been the caring nurturer who tried to care for everyone and take care of everything. Until the accumulation became to great to bear – I ran out of emotional capital. So I find myself in more introspection and reflection.

Why the emotional attachment to stuff I haven’t touched in months…or years? I dare admit to myself that it a grasp for security of the familiar. Not that the familiar is even comfortable, but I kinda know what to expect. I know where to look if I need it, and that brings me some tinge of security…but is it a false peace? Is it misplaced trust? Well of COURSE it is, silly rabbit!

If I’m honest with myself, I think it’s because just about every area of my life is going through transition at the same time…and it’s absolutely uncomfortable and terrifying. Yet at the same time, maybe I have a bit of hopeful expectation of something different, better, fresh, not yet experienced. It has the potential to be exhilarating and scary – but yielding great new growth…like in a forest after a brush fire kinda way. New day, new beginnings.

I’ll be sitting in a different seat, in a different position, with a different vantage point. So looking at the same familiar things will appear different. And maybe that’s what God has wanted for me all along…yield, surrender, give in…again…for the first time…another adventuresome journey awaits. Am I ready? It doesn’t matter as long as His presence goes with me, proceeds me, and covers me. And He can do all 3 things at the same time, so I guess all this fretting has been an exercise in corporate futility…kinda like moving 50 feet to say “look what we did!” I reiterate: activity does NOT always equal productivity…but that’s just my 2 cents’ worth.

“6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.”
(Psalm 51:6-8)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Dusk/Nightfall: Time to Replenish

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You know morning comes again after the darkness. And you still yourself and endure just a little while longer. The moon and the ever-changing sky palette were a perfect recap to this full week. Taking a moment to savor my progression was a welcome respite.

I took time for my cardio activity, not being concerned about anyone else for that 30 minutes. It wasn’t selfish; it was restorative. As an adult, I’ve come to realize that while my matriarchal role models could nurture the ever-living daylights out of someone (or everyone in their sphere of influence), they didn’t generally model self-care effectively – or at all. So I’m learning (of a necessity) how to do this now. Acknowledging that taking care of others doesn’t have to occur at the expense of neglecting myself. Balance is possible – when you make it an intentionally incorporated part of the process – it doesn’t happen on its own!  

Sometimes my own self-care is the best of intentions with weak (or no) execution. Sometimes it’s trial-and-error. But sometimes – like today – I nail it! So I celebrate my success without guilt. Because what good am I to others if there’s nothing left to give? Exactly…

How can you intentionally celebrate your own prelude to joy this week? Give it some thought. Feel free to share in the comments if you’d like.

“5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper.
11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
(Psalm 30:5, 10-12 KJV)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Rest for The Weary: Stop Living on Overdrawn Credit

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When do you finally realize you’ve been living beyond your means? When you’ve expended more emotional capital then you’ve amassed? When you’ve “tapped out” and have very little, if anything left to give if you don’t replenish your own storehouse?

Come to the wells of salvation and drink deeply…be saved from yourself – your own devices, plans, plots, desires, entrapments, entanglements…find rest for your soul in the Master’s presence.

You remember that place of refreshing – it’s still there. Waiting for your return – as a permanent resident in the presence of the Lord instead of intermittent visitor.

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life:
in thy presence is fulness of joy;
at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
(Psalm 16:11, KJV)

“28 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation].
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30, AMP)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart