forgiveness

My Best Gifts Are NOT Under the Tree This Year

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Filled to overflowing with gratitude, overwhelmed by the goodness of God, and perhaps a bit hopped up on the choco-chip-walnut cookies I baked and nibbled too close to bedtime, I had to get up and capture this moment.

Earlier tonight, my teens put the lights on our Christmas tree (without adult supervision!); it was fun to eavesdrop on their bantering conversation. Yesterday, they assembled the tree. I think we’re subconsciously decorating in phases since the boxes of ornaments, tinsel, bows, and all things festive were dragged from the attic and wreaths hung outside two days ago. They left the tree lights on after they went to bed, and I was mesmerized by the simple, unfinished, yet unadorned with ornaments beauty when I caught a glimpse on my way to refill my water bottle.

This year, I am super-excited about the holidays – to the point that I got each member of the family themed holiday pajamas for Christmas morning photos. (#MemoryMakingMama #GuiltyNotSorry!). I’m so excited that I’m ready to wear mine in November! LOL 😜🤣🎉

This is evidence of personal growth that has taken time and diligent self-work. My grandmother passed away on Thanksgiving Day 2008, so the holiday season was bittersweet for me for several years. Not until recently did I personally experience Christ removing the sting of death FOR ME, and it made all the difference. Grief is a process, but so is life, healing, forgiveness, and restoration – and none of these processes should be rushed or glossed over. For too long, I lived suspended between past memories and fantasy wishes beyond my grasp, while attempting to ignore (sometimes harsh) reality. This year, I’m in a place to embrace the entire spectrum of life and all that it holds – and that feels GOOD…like breathing in clean, fresh air.

This year, I am unbound by a calendar. Honestly, I feel that I’ve experienced both Thanksgiving and Christmas in my heart on multiple occasions in the past couple of months…and I look forward to celebrating with my family throughout the remainder of 2020 and into the new year. I’m not waiting anymore. My declaration of appreciation for God’s grace and goodness has already begun. And I’m thankful that this year, my best and most meaningful gifts are not under the Christmas tree. May you discover the same realization to be true for you…

Praying God’s abundant blessings for you and your family during this holiday season,

Kayren

“55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

(I Corinthians 15:55-58)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

I Don’t Wanna Go THERE!

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Last night, I made beautiful chicken kabobs, assisted in the assembly process by my daughter, a skilled and meticulous chef in her own right. Red onions, multicolored peppers, mushrooms, and okra from our garden added to the nutritious visual feast.

As I took the sheet pans out of the oven while trying not to dump the chicken liquid, I felt the singe of skin…back of my left hand, near my wedding band finger. The irony that even healthy food can hurt ya loomed heavy. In 20/20 hindsight, I wished I’d used 2 full oven mitts instead of relying on plain ol’ flat potholders to do the job. Too late. In a split-second, I was reminded that I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. 

As a mom, I was gonna “walk it off” with the unsatisfying remedy of the ice cube that slipped into the sink after providing a few short-lived moments of relief. My son recommended that I put on some burn cream…and after 5 minutes, I relented & found myself rifling through the first aid kit. That cream almost sizzled as it soothed. Granted, this was a VERY MINOR burn. Nevertheless, it was no less hot (and my skin no less burned and beginning to wrinkle up), and served as a vivid prompt to keep my heart clean by staying in close fellowship with Christ, and walking daily in love, forgiveness, and grace…because I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. Not for a split-second, and certainly not for eternity… 

“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
(Psalm 9:17)
“For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.”
(Psalm 86:13)
“But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
(Matthew 5:22)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Away With Murder?

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It’s a really graphic turn of words, but I vividly remember my mom and grandma using it (with tongue-clucking punctuation) to reference unruly chill’uns who were “ackin’ up” and not getting proper or timely discipline for their foolish shenanigans…
(This is Part Two…read Part One of my own foolish shenanigans here)

Perhaps I’ve watched one too many episodes of Cold Case on non-cable antenna TV during this quarantine time (highly likely…along with The Closer, In Plain Sight, Unforgettable, and the iconic classic Perry Mason for my whodunit crime drama fixes throughout the week…because I finished watching all 5 free seasons of Leverage last year), but nobody ever really gets away with murder – literally or figuratively. In the end – even if it’s decades later – the truth comes out.

Confession: So I’ve been inching towards the edge in my eating habits. Like seeing how close I could get to the electric fence without getting zapped. And you know what? It took putting on a dress (withOUT an elastic waistband) to celebrate at my hubby’s recent birthday dinner to show me how the coronapounds have crept (or leapt) upon me. I left 2 inches of back zipper undone and topped my outfit choice with a snazzy sweater to camouflage my transgressive over-eating and under-exercising ways – et voilà! But that didn’t change the fact that the little munchies here and the grazing during endless conference calls there had caught up with me…and were demanding my attention. ZAP!

It took reading my own response to a friend who asked me to check out her recent blog post to bring me out of my delusional, self-deceived reverie of “oh, it’s OK…I’ve just picked up a couple of pounds.” Straight truth, no chaser with a side of full disclosure? No Kayren, you lost over 20 pounds last year…and they all seem to have found you – and brought a few extra friends who wanted to tag along. Whatcha gonna do now?

I encouraged my friend via text tonight – and was immediately convicted:
Don’t ever second-guess what the Holy Spirit has led you to do; it’s NEVER about man’s approval, affirmation, or even acknowledgment. Let God use your work to minister to each reader the way He needs to; all is in HIS capable hands as THE Author. It is posted and published, and HE is doing the work in your readers. Keep moving forward in Him because He has so much more to pour through your available vessel. No looking back! Let it go and move ON!

So why wasn’t I treating myself with the same grace? Why the double standard? Simply put, I’d gotten off-track – thinking I was getting away when I was squarely in His crosshairs, and He was lovingly waiting for me to come into His presence for much-needed recalibration and adjustment.

My prayer: Here I am, Lord…repenting…once again. Thank You for your mercy, cleansing, and patience. You are a loving Heavenly Father to Your children, and I am grateful to be called Your daughter. I present myself for You to continue molding and shaping me into the image of Your Dear Son. Amen.

“But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord:
 and be sure your sin will find you out.”
(Numbers 32:23)

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
(Psalm 145:8)

“2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known.
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
(Luke 12:2-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Broken, But Not Irreparable

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God, You truly know how to crush to extract the essence without destroying the value within a person…

After “forced intercession” due to a heaviness I just couldn’t shake and tears that came from outta nowhere (who ME, try to run from God?! get outta here!😏), after praying through the progeny of my foremothers’ bloodlines and repenting, I finally got a release and this flowed forth. It’s a poem that’ll probably become a song. I captured it in my new $1 pink journal with a gold heart that says “Love Yourself” (because I can’t resist something sparkly that’s only $1…so of course I got one for my daughter, too! LOL). When I was about to turn the page, I noticed that I’d written on the last page instead of the first page. I’ve NEVER done that when starting a new journal – intentionally or unintentionally…and yet, it was fitting and timely today.

I truly didn’t intend to post this backstory – I was just gonna share the poem, but after my time of cleansing tears and emptying out of my soul (thank You, Lord), I must obey…

So be encouraged as you go through your own process of transformation during this “safer at home” time of being shut in and formed, molded, and shaped on the Master Potter’s wheel…ALL for HIS glory.

Broken things can still be used;

They can be repaired,

They can be restored.

To a state of increased value

That only the love of God can afford.

Purchased by God – priceless gift;

Feel the burdens of your soul lift.

God wrote the end of your story first;

He sees your best when you’re at your worst.

Don’t rush His process of soul restoration;

Watch Him remove all frustration…

Rest in Him as He blankets your soul in His peace.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

(Philippians 1:6)


© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

But After That…

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As promised, here’s the “Part 2” that follows Living in Malice & Hating One Another…

The “before” is that we were “…living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.” (Titus 3:3) 

Verse 4 of the same chapter tells us what the “after” of this looks like: “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared.”

We must change. Allow Him to give us a spiritual heart transplant. Learn from the example of Christ to let it go. Lay it on the altar and leave it there for Him to consume our sacrifice with fire. Yes, something has got to die.

Even if it’s my pride – because I feel justified…’cuz You KNOW I was right, Lord…right? I’m just sayin’…

But after that…

Once we reflect on our OWN state without God’s grace poured out on the undeserving, it leads us (if we are malleable and tenderhearted) to repentance. Humbleness of heart and mind, both  evidenced by an adjusted response.

But after that…

Forgiveness. Whether I feel they deserve it or not…but who am I to judge who deserves what anyway?! Because when it gets right down to it, I sure don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, grace, mercy, favor, and extravagant love. 

But after that…

I have to submit, surrender, and obey. Follow the example of Christ. Forgive 70 x 7 times…ouch!

As I mature, I’m learning that it’s OK to be angry or frustrated – or even both at the same time. It’s OK to cry. It’s even OK (for a little while) to feel like NOBODY else on the planet understands. 

But after that…

My Transparent Prayer of Repentance:
Lord Jesus, I have something to say, and I need to be heard. Too bad it feels like <fill in the blank for yourself> ain’t listening, but I can’t allow or afford for anyone to derail the plan of God to get the glory from my life. So I yield to You once again, my Savior. Help me in those places that are still hurting, broken, wounded, and need Your touch. You see and You know…and I can feel You at work in my life. Please help me to be patient as You faithfully complete the work You’ve begun in me. I am thankful that You hear this prayer in Jesus’ name (so I don’t act a fool again and let my emotions carry me like a runaway roller coaster). Amen.

“4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”
(Titus 3:4-8)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Living in Malice & Hating One Another

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Not me!

Well, the title of this post certainly doesn’t describe a paragon of Christian brotherly love, now does it? Yet, from time to time, we ALL have to admit that we don’t feel loving, kind, gracious, forgiving, slow to anger, or any of the other virtues that mark a life touched by the efficacious and all-powerful Blood of Jesus.

So what are we to do when we find ourselves in this quandary, or in a similar conundrum?

We must reflect. See ourselves through the lens of God’s Word. I’ll give you a head start (because there IS a Part 2 for us) by sharing the Scripture He pointed out for ME to work on to clean up the dirty ugliness that lurked in my own heart – the extent and magnitude of which were unbeknownst to me until an unexpected eruption…

“1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.”
(Titus 3:1-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Little Member: Ladybug Tales

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Ladybug Feb 2020

Great things come in small packages…

The other day while pumping gas, I caught a glimpse of something tiny scurrying across the side of my vehicle. The sudden movement caught my eye, and I shifted my glance from the rapidly rising dollar amount flowing into my tank. What I noticed made me smile before jumping back into my morning commute: a tiny ladybug diligently handling her business. What a ladybug’s business is at that time of morning, I’m not exactly sure – but this one was handling hers for sure!

It was so small that I wouldn’t have noticed it during my normal morning routine of bustling to get to work. However, it made me reflect on what I’d recently been studying about the tongue in the book of James. Though the tongue is a small member of our body, it has great power and influence. This little ladybug unexpectedly caused me to smile in the middle of a very mundane task. I was challenged to think about “little things” I could do to have a positive impact on someone else throughout the rest of my day.

Sidebar: I was also reminded of Lot’s plea as the angels were dragging him and his family away from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and into deliverance. He was instructed to escape to the mountain, but he desired to go to the city of Zoar and reasoned that it was “a little one…” Sometimes we try to reason our way out of instructions by attempting to emphasize our own ideas over God’s given directions…#Guilty #TrulyRepentant #ResetButton

“Behold now, this city is near to flee unto,
and it is a little one:
Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?)
and my soul shall live.”
(Genesis 19:20)

This “little member” of God’s creation was a delightful and timely reminder that the little things in our lives really DO matter. What seemingly “little things” do you need to give some immediate attention this week? Leave a comment if you’d like to be part of an accountability community…

“5 Even so the tongue is a little member,
and boasteth great things.
Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
13 Who is a wise man and endued
with knowledge among you?
let him shew out of a good conversation his works
with meekness of wisdom.”
(James 3:5, 13)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Make Room for True Abundance

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Ah, the new decade is finally here…but are we REALLY prepared to receive the bountiful blessings God has in store for us this year? If by chance you still have some lingering residue from 2019 (& before!), fear not – there is HOPE! We can make room for the new by clearing out the old…starting today, starting NOW.

“18 Remember ye not the former things,
neither consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing;
now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?
I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert.”
(Isaiah 43:18-19)

“And he that sat upon the throne said,
Behold, I make all things new.
And he said unto me,
Write: for these words are true and faithful.”
(Revelation 21:5)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Truth in the Inward Parts

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yellow flowers

I thought these flowers were beautiful – like truth!

I was riding in the car this evening and my wonderful hubby was talking to me. When I thought he was finished, I interjected something. He said, “You just corrected me and shot down my sweet words!” That really wasn’t my intention, so I quickly responded, “Oh, I’m sorry that I cut you off, sweetie.” But at that moment, I wasn’t sorry, and I wasn’t thinking he was a sweetie. I felt misunderstood, and I had to actively CHOOSE not to let something so minor turn into a full-blown offense. But I still got indignant and clammed up. 

At that moment, the scripture about God “desiring truth in the inward parts” (Psalm 51:6) bubbled up and I heard a still, small voice saying, “You’re not being honest.” The Lord convicted me on-the-spot, right there in the car where I had nowhere to escape for the remainder of the ride. It stung!

So then I got indignant with God. Yeah – that was a pretty saucy (and utterly foolish) move since I’m pretty sure I saw some lightning accompany the raindrops falling on the windshield. I had to admit that He had found me and hit the bullseye right on the mark. I knew better as a mature Christian. I had to humble myself and repent – immediately. 

Initially, I felt JUSTIFIED ‘cuz at least I was polite and respectful, right? WRONG – my feigned apology was not coming from a pure heart or a place of truth, so it was just empty words. And was that the stench of PRIDE I was trying to cover up with the sweet perfume of good manners and civility? The reflection in the Holy Ghost mirror was ghastly and anything but holy. Egads – woe is me, what a wretch undone am I! The hidden recesses of my innermost thoughts were severely contaminated with self-righteous indignation.

Lord, I pray that You continue to help me to walk in YOUR truth…because “my truth” (the popular catchphrase) is mired in self-deception. Help me to not lean to my own tainted and limited understanding, but to acknowledge You in ALL of my ways so YOU can direct my paths. Thank You for loving me enough to peel back the layers of the façade I’ve tried for so long to project  – all so You can expose the toxic things that need to be removed from my life because they don’t please You or bring You glory. May I, in turn, extend lavish grace to others – as you have showered me with Your lovingkindness and tender mercies. Amen.

“Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts:
and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.”
(Psalm 51:6)

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
(Philippians 4:8)

“I have no greater joy
than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
(III John 1:4)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Case of the Vanishing Spud: A Hometown Whodunnit

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Need a good laugh?
Here’s one at my expense – for free! Enjoy…
Perhaps I’ve been watching too much
Perry Mason, Law & Order, and NCIS? Nah!!! 

7:30am – After getting up a little later than expected, I had an impromptu breakfast plan for this morning. It hinged on a baked potato I’d microwaved 2 days prior and stored in a plastic baggie with a twist tie. As I packed my lunch bag, the aforementioned potato was not on the shelf where I’d carefully placed it in plain sight the night before, and it was nowhere to be found. More than a little irritated, I hastily pivoted to grapes, tangerines, and a banana as my breakfast fill-ins.

The short list of potato-nabbing suspects is limited to my housemates. Granted, since each one is committed to helping me get over my recent GI disturbances, any of them could have tossed my tater in an effort to “keep mom healthy because she doesn’t like to throw stuff away before it’s too late for her own good.” In no particular order, here’s my take on the offender likelihood status of my immediate family members (names have been withheld to protect the not-so-innocent):

  • Suspicious Side-eye: Apt to have done it and not remember. Whether telling the truth or not, his shifty glance belies that “teen angel” face and usually makes him suspect in my mind.
  • Slim Shady: Sneaky enough to pull it off, cover her tracks, and then boldly declare that it’s MY fault the potato is missing. I gotta keep an eye on that Little Miss Think I Know It All chick…
  • Supreme Sith: Unapologetic about the outcome whether he did it or not, no worries consciously or not, intentionally or not… and dispassionate about the infinite valid reasons behind my lament.

Who was the real perp? Short of dusting my fridge and trash can for fingerprints, we may never know. I guess I’ll just have to learn to let it go and not say anything further, since nothing will bring back that elusive missing tuber. I’ll keep you posted on how that angle develops…

5:30pm – Of course I didn’t pass the “don’t say nothing” test (drat! I tried, but it was too irresistible to try and solve this conundrum of a caper with an improvised interrogation), but neither child owned up to seeing/touching/moving or otherwise knowing anything about my potato. I dared not ask my husband about something so trivial as he walked through the door after a long workday. So I tried once again to “let it go,” while the wonderings wandered through my mind as I cooked.

Breaking News Alert: One missing potato has been reunited with its owner at the end of the workday. The flustered woman who reported the missing tater (and is known for similar tirades when only one sock comes out of the dryer without its mate) was filled with relief when she located it behind the almond milk (of all places) while putting away dinner leftovers. Reportedly, an unknown party moved it from its rightful place on the bottom shelf to the hidden hinterland behind several cartons on the top shelf (who does that?!? Small things should ALWAYS go in front LOL). We’re delighted to call this case CLOSED; the owner plans a celebratory potato breakfast tomorrow morning! Alas, this is a great reminder to extend grace to those near and dear to you instead of jumping to hasty conclusions. Especially if it’s just a potato! 😊

“25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
(Mark 11:25-26)

“8 Either what woman having ten pieces of silver,
if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it?
9 And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.”
(Luke 15:8-9)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart