humility

Mic Drop: When Second Place is #1

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For someone with “math phobia,” I’ve certainly been dealing with a lot of numbers lately! 

I just competed in a Spring 2021 Toastmasters Area contest tonight. I won Second Place in both categories – International Speech Contest and Table Topics Contest. And you know what? For this recovering perfectionist, it feels great! Why? Because I challenged myself to compete in BOTH contests (instead of staying in my comfort zone with just one), I prepared in advance, I determined to have fun no matter what, and I did my best. My response to NOT winning First Place in either contest signifies that I’m GROWING – and that’s what life is about. Plus, I got to hear a bunch of really good speeches and learn some new techniques for speaking effectiveness and excellence! 

So here’s the backstory. In the Fall of 2020, I competed in my first Toastmasters contest. I won First Place at my Club Contest, which was pretty cool since my competition was no lightweight. I advanced to the Area Contest, where I won First Place for the Evaluations Speech Contest – it was exhilarating. When I moved ahead to the Division Contest, I didn’t even place – not even third. Seriously! I was stunned…and if I hadn’t had other stuff going on in my life, I might have felt a bit bruised or crushed. (Kinda ironic since I’ve had my share of musical competitions where I didn’t place at the top…but that was decades ago LOL…time does heal wounds – even not making All-State Chorus LOL).   

Yet, after a dazed day (or 2 or 3) of wondering whether I exceeded the given time limit and trying to figure out what exactly counted against me, I decided to let that “kick in the pants” propel me into my “next.” Since I know I want to do more public speaking, I decided to keep working at improving my skills. I began giving speeches more frequently (every week) and invited candid feedback, which I diligently incorporated the following week. And I saw my “speaking muscles” growing stronger with every speech.

Today, I celebrate ALL who participated and gave of themselves and their personal stories in the Spring 2021 contests, especially my Mentee who competed for the first time – I’m really proud of him  for stepping up to the plate and the way he represented our Toastmasters Club. There’s something to be said for knowing what to expect “the next time.”

So I didn’t win First Place this time – it’s all good. I get the opportunity to give another speech at my home club (filled with people I absolutely enjoy growing with) tomorrow. I’m advancing along my Pathways (the Toastmasters educational program) journey at a strong clip. And before the contest ended tonight, I was asked to provide a keynote speech at another club – wow! That squeak sounds like doors of opportunity opening to me…

No matter what the award says, it’s a win either way – and a matter of perspective. GOD gets the ultimate glory because the gifts belong to HIM – and HIS is the only applause and approval I need. I’m excited for what’s yet to come as I continue working to develop my passion – encouraging, motivating, and inspiring others! What wins can you celebrate with gratitude this week?
#WatchMeGrow #LosingIsWinning #LossIsGain #Lose2Gain

Blessings to you,
Kayren 🙂

“7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.”
(II Corinthians 4:7-10)

“7 But whatever former things were gains to me [as I thought then], these things [once regarded as advancements in merit] I have come to consider as loss [absolutely worthless] for the sake of Christ [and the purpose which He has given my life].
8 But more than that, I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him—a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ,”
(Philippians 3:7-8, AMP)

© Copyright 2021 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Finding Grace at the Bonfire

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Just as tears and rain are cleansing, so is fire. This morning’s sermon caught me in a place where I immediately repented. I felt the need to take an intentional action to signify my new start as I (once again) hit the reset button on walking in obedience.

I had to wait my turn for the fire pit/altar on my back porch. It seemed that I wasn’t the only one who needed God to consume some stuff that had been accumulating for too long. My wonderful hubby decreed and declared that we’re moving to paperless billing as he vigorously purged old home office files.

I watched as the stacks of papers he’d put in the fire pit curled up in the flames and turned to ash. Then I tossed my own papers (actually, cardboard toilet paper centers – fitting, eh? – on which I’d written my confessions that I was symbolically sacrificing to the Lord) into the fire. In moments, they were utterly consumed, no longer existing in their previous form. Later that evening, as the fire was still burning, it began to rain. More cleansing. More gratitude.

I am thankful that God heard my prayer, received my repentance, and forgave me with His abundant grace, mercy, and love. Because of the Blood of Jesus, my sins are covered; like the papers in the fire, they have been obliterated. I am so humbled that God wipes the slate clean and offers a fresh start when we come to Him acknowledging our sins and shortcomings!

Friend, what do YOU need to place on the Lord’s altar for Him to consume so it’s not unnecessary baggage dragged into 2021? We don’t have to wait until New Year’s Eve…we can approach his throne boldly and with confidence today! Try it…you’ll probably feel lighter afterwards. I did!

“15 For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. 

16 Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].”

(Hebrews 4:15-16, AMP)

“28 Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

29 For our God is a consuming fire.”

(Hebrews 12:28-29, KJV)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Envelopes of Provision

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Disclosure: This blog post is NOT about getting a physical check in the mail…🙂

This morning, after a couple of days of not feeling my best, I woke up so grateful to be feeling better that I decided to take a walk and watch the sunrise. Ambitious, eh? LOL. I grabbed my water bottle and sunglasses, ready to rack up some steps. About 7 minutes after leaving the house, I felt it: a single raindrop on my forearm. 

I promptly turned around and headed back home, but not before acknowledging the magnificent splendor of the Almighty on display. I marveled at the tropical wind blowing, the clouds quickly overshadowing the sun, and the birds flitting here and there.

I decided to watch the rainstorm roll in from the covert of my porch. I peeped a gecko nibbling on some leaves, realizing I often see them scurrying, but I’d never watched one eat. New experience checked off.

I gaped in amazement as I watched individual raindrops hit the ground and shake blades of grass (or weeds…whatever…it’s still green, and grass sounds more poetic). I usually think of rain in the collective sense…as “a thing” or an entity. This morning, I saw the individual drops coming down and observed each one as a package of provision from the Creator sent to fulfill a specific purpose. One raindrop, followed by another, followed by another in succession over a duration of time yields results: a harvest.

So I thought I’d share my personal object lesson on patience, provision, and the Spiritual Principle of Sow and Reap springing alive before my eyes. In the midst of much turbulence and destruction surrounding us, we have God’s assurance that He cares for us and is attentively watching over us. And that, my friend, is Good News! Stay encouraged…

“Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”
(Psalm 29:2)
“30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive and green today and tomorrow is [cut and] thrown [as fuel] into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
31 Therefore do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted), saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’
32 For the [pagan] Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; [but do not worry,] for your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”
(Matthew 6:30-33 AMP)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Cold or Hot?

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My hubby says I must be “part lobster” because I like to take really hot baths.
I guess all that’s missing is some Old Bay Seasoning…

Through my sleep-deprived coronafog this week, I struggled to get a hot bath on 2 separate occasions – but alas, the faucets were not cooperating. I couldn’t figure out why – after letting the water run for almost 5 minutes – it was still tepid…a most unpleasant prospect for us crustaceans. A semi-warm bath just won’t cut it. Two nights ago, I thought extended showers by my wonderful teens who also ran the dishwasher took all of Mom’s hot water, so I reluctantly resorted to a shower when the bath taps still responded barely warm. I was so tired, I almost stomped through the bathroom. I’m intentionally working on my evening wind-down routine after being in front of computer screens most of the day.

Tonight, my candles were lit and I NEEDED a therapeutic bath with epsom salts. So I went to The Fixer, my handy-dandy hubby (who’d just done a masterful job on our subway tile kitchen backsplash – way to go, honey!). 🙂 He checked the hot water heater that was up as high as it could go. Hot water ran from every other faucet but my tub…until hubby turned the other knob. Seriously…I’ve lived in this house (and been taking hot baths in this same tub) over half a decade and still had to guess which handle dispensed the hot water?! (Yes. I guess I choose to use my cranial capacity for more substantial matters). I shook my head at myself in exhaustion, thanked him for valiantly solving my latest crisis, and prepared to settle in for my hard-won hot bath.

It was one of those “womp womp” moments – like when tech support tells you to try rebooting your computer…which instantly fixes the computer issue you’ve been having…and you wish you’d tried that before waiting 30 minutes to get some assistance. My whole family got a good laugh at my expense, but I was too tired to try to defend the foolishness, and I think they had compassion on me.

This true blonde moment couldn’t be covered by my burgundy hair rinse even if I tried. Frazzled by quarantine as we prepped for the start of a new virtual school year (and possibly a zombie apocalypse), I guess I’d gotten my wires crossed, spatial relations whacked out, and looked at something so common and familiar from the wrong perspective. 

Doesn’t this happen to us spiritually more often than we care to admit? Ah, I am evermore thankful for the gift of glorious grace…

“13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:”
(Revelation 3:13-17)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Getting Away With Murder?

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It’s a really graphic turn of words, but I vividly remember my mom and grandma using it (with tongue-clucking punctuation) to reference unruly chill’uns who were “ackin’ up” and not getting proper or timely discipline for their foolish shenanigans…
(This is Part Two…read Part One of my own foolish shenanigans here)

Perhaps I’ve watched one too many episodes of Cold Case on non-cable antenna TV during this quarantine time (highly likely…along with The Closer, In Plain Sight, Unforgettable, and the iconic classic Perry Mason for my whodunit crime drama fixes throughout the week…because I finished watching all 5 free seasons of Leverage last year), but nobody ever really gets away with murder – literally or figuratively. In the end – even if it’s decades later – the truth comes out.

Confession: So I’ve been inching towards the edge in my eating habits. Like seeing how close I could get to the electric fence without getting zapped. And you know what? It took putting on a dress (withOUT an elastic waistband) to celebrate at my hubby’s recent birthday dinner to show me how the coronapounds have crept (or leapt) upon me. I left 2 inches of back zipper undone and topped my outfit choice with a snazzy sweater to camouflage my transgressive over-eating and under-exercising ways – et voilà! But that didn’t change the fact that the little munchies here and the grazing during endless conference calls there had caught up with me…and were demanding my attention. ZAP!

It took reading my own response to a friend who asked me to check out her recent blog post to bring me out of my delusional, self-deceived reverie of “oh, it’s OK…I’ve just picked up a couple of pounds.” Straight truth, no chaser with a side of full disclosure? No Kayren, you lost over 20 pounds last year…and they all seem to have found you – and brought a few extra friends who wanted to tag along. Whatcha gonna do now?

I encouraged my friend via text tonight – and was immediately convicted:
Don’t ever second-guess what the Holy Spirit has led you to do; it’s NEVER about man’s approval, affirmation, or even acknowledgment. Let God use your work to minister to each reader the way He needs to; all is in HIS capable hands as THE Author. It is posted and published, and HE is doing the work in your readers. Keep moving forward in Him because He has so much more to pour through your available vessel. No looking back! Let it go and move ON!

So why wasn’t I treating myself with the same grace? Why the double standard? Simply put, I’d gotten off-track – thinking I was getting away when I was squarely in His crosshairs, and He was lovingly waiting for me to come into His presence for much-needed recalibration and adjustment.

My prayer: Here I am, Lord…repenting…once again. Thank You for your mercy, cleansing, and patience. You are a loving Heavenly Father to Your children, and I am grateful to be called Your daughter. I present myself for You to continue molding and shaping me into the image of Your Dear Son. Amen.

“But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord:
 and be sure your sin will find you out.”
(Numbers 32:23)

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
(Psalm 145:8)

“2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known.
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
(Luke 12:2-3)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Full, But Unsatisfied

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Two weeks ago, I thought this was just a “get it off my chest, rambling personal journal entry.”  But now I realize that I have to post it…because I wrote Part Two (unbeknownst to me) today. So here it is – Part One…may you be blessed by this big ol’ heaping helping of transparent exposure…

Have you ever eaten a meal and been stuffed to capacity, only to realize that it did not hit the spot? Or you worked hard to achieve a significant goal, milestone, or accomplishment, only to experience the same nagging void that was there when you started? Yeah, me too. Utterly disappointing, isn’t it? #EpicLetdown

On far too many occasions through my 4 decades-plus of life, I’ve reached the top of a ladder, only to realize I’d placed it against the wrong wall. I’d achieved a goal, but not the fulfillment to accompany it. So what next?

I lost the (same) 20 pounds (again)…only to regain them (again). I got the new job responsibility, accolade, or recognition…only to realize it wasn’t the adrenaline rush I was looking for after all. I tried the new gourmet recipe and presented it to my family with little acknowledgment for the effort…only to feel my high-flying “mom balloon” deflated amongst the empty dirty dishes.

What was I really seeking? Contentment. Affirmation. Fulfillment. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I know that comes only from being at peace with the will of God – not seeking to check off the next achievement. No matter how many things within my span of control (which admittedly are very few) I tweaked, I only experienced satisfaction when I decided to yield to God’s selected path for me in that season. Even when it wasn’t glamorous or sexy. Especially when it felt mundane and routine (quarantine, anyone?).

So how do we change the narrative? Give it up, and give in. Go back to Square One – HIS plan. Yeah, it’s the one that does NOT look like your plan…but it’s custom tailored to fit you perfectly.

My dietician’s recent reminder that we’re never able to satisfy emotional hunger with physical food was a light bulb “aha!” moment and a real game changer. The same premise is true in the spiritual realm: we’re never able to satisfy our spiritual hunger with anything but Christ…we were created with that void He longs to fill. Don’t get sidetracked by distractions…let us focus on the Lord and allow HIM to fill us during this time when He continues to draw us deeper into His presence..

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried:
he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”
(II Samuel 22:31)

“He revealeth the deep and secret things:
he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.”
(Daniel 2:22)

“And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life:
he that cometh to me shall never hunger;
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
(John 6:35)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Broken, But Not Irreparable

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God, You truly know how to crush to extract the essence without destroying the value within a person…

After “forced intercession” due to a heaviness I just couldn’t shake and tears that came from outta nowhere (who ME, try to run from God?! get outta here!😏), after praying through the progeny of my foremothers’ bloodlines and repenting, I finally got a release and this flowed forth. It’s a poem that’ll probably become a song. I captured it in my new $1 pink journal with a gold heart that says “Love Yourself” (because I can’t resist something sparkly that’s only $1…so of course I got one for my daughter, too! LOL). When I was about to turn the page, I noticed that I’d written on the last page instead of the first page. I’ve NEVER done that when starting a new journal – intentionally or unintentionally…and yet, it was fitting and timely today.

I truly didn’t intend to post this backstory – I was just gonna share the poem, but after my time of cleansing tears and emptying out of my soul (thank You, Lord), I must obey…

So be encouraged as you go through your own process of transformation during this “safer at home” time of being shut in and formed, molded, and shaped on the Master Potter’s wheel…ALL for HIS glory.

Broken things can still be used;

They can be repaired,

They can be restored.

To a state of increased value

That only the love of God can afford.

Purchased by God – priceless gift;

Feel the burdens of your soul lift.

God wrote the end of your story first;

He sees your best when you’re at your worst.

Don’t rush His process of soul restoration;

Watch Him remove all frustration…

Rest in Him as He blankets your soul in His peace.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

(Philippians 1:6)


© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

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This is dedicated to every father,
with special honor given to Black fathers who are committed to holding their families with strong, protective arms and hearts full of love.
Additionally, those who may not be biological fathers but choose to serve as positive role models in their families and communities are worthy of recognition.

What a time this has been. I begin with an attitude of gratitude after weeks of reflection and introspection. Current events covered by the media only magnify the significance of racial tension that brews, bubbles, and seethes in this “melting pot” of a country. 

I am grateful for my father. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my son who is just on the cusp of manhood and 12 months away from possibly (probably, but I’m OBVIOUSLY still dealing with just a smidge of denial) not residing under my roof, facing the world with what his father and I taught him and surrounded by prayer. I am grateful for the MANY good men and fathers who have graced my life with wisdom, knowledge, insight, instruction, guidance, and discipline through the years. I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful for my faithful and consistent Heavenly Father!

For the pressures, expectations, letdowns, and rejoicings cut too short by reality – over and over again – from my perspective, it looks like being a man these days is a pretty tough job.

Nevertheless, the men I’m fortunate to have in my life are more than built to conquer the tasks presented. Can’t open that stubborn jar? Give it here – I’ve got you! Broken bones or middle of the night child projectiles? No problem – there’s health insurance and a shop-vac for that! Debt that stresses you beyond imagination? Never fear, dear maiden – there’s a plan to address, cover, and conquer that! Scared of the dark, monsters under your bed (or in your closet…or in your past), or the unknowns of the future? Let us pray – I’m here with you, and I know Someone Who will make it all alright for you…especially when I can’t.

For all your perfectly imperfect parts – many or few;
We absolutely couldn’t (and don’t want to) do it without you!

From the girl who doesn’t restrict celebration to a single or specific day, I say TODAY with much respect: Happy Father’s Day! And thank you for your innumerable ongoing sacrifices. And love. And example. And mistakes. And for getting up and getting back in the game even when you’re tired of what seems to be the same ol’ cycle. Be encouraged – because you’re making a difference…every day.

With great appreciation,
Kayren

“1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words:
keep my commandments, and live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding:
forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.”
(Proverbs 4:1-5) 

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Nestled

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nestle – snuggle, cuddle up, curl up, huddle, nuzzle, settle, lie close, burrow

Look closely. Now look closer. See how safely hidden this nest is – tucked amidst the protective thorns? That’s how our God covers and surrounds us. What comfort and confidence we can experience when resting in Him!

“1 How lovely are Your dwelling places, O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul (my life, my inner self) longs for and greatly desires the courts of the Lord;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
3 The bird has found a house,
And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young—
Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts,
My King and my God.
4 Blessed and greatly favored are those who dwell in Your house and Your presence;
They will be singing Your praises all the day long. Selah.”
(Psalm 84:1-4 AMP)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Disconnected for Techno-Sabbatical

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I snapped these lovely photos on Friday after walking 3 steps from my front door (thanks, Awesome Gardener Hubby!), gently reminded that God makes every thing beautiful in his time. It’s kinda neat to see how everything is beginning to bloom in this season (even me) as “stay at home” measures limit our outside movement, but not our personal growth…

Granted, I’m writing my thoughts using an electronic device. However, I found such peace today just by giving myself permission to disconnect from technology and screens for a brief time away from the information influx that threatened to become a mental tsunami. Though I limit myself to checking 1 social media account 1-2 times a week and I keep my phone on vibrate to cut down on audio clutter, I didn’t realize the energy I was putting out to manage 2 personal e-mail inboxes, text messages, incoming phone calls, and voicemails. Not to speak of the constant barrage of marketing messages blasting from endless sources.

I’m not even that popular anymore (LOL – it’s all relative – ha ha), but the volume of incoming information to process, decision, prioritize, or choose to ignore clearly illuminated the ratio of ONE of ME to MANY information sources. I realized the need to clear my mind and savor some sumptuous silence…immediately!

So it began: I activated my work e-mail out-of-office message for the week I’d taken for vacation (now a staycation – but that’s cool with me!). I turned my cell phone ringer off and asked my parents to text me if they wanted to reach me – and they were happy to pray for my time of techno-rest while assuring me they’re doing fine. Finally, I sent a text message to a couple of folks who are used to hearing from me regularly, letting them know I’d be available after this week to reconnect.

It was really liberating – like I’d given myself a “free pass” to unplug from my routine in order to be rejuvenated in God’s presence and reconnect with my family while undistracted by external commitments. And I settled in for a blessed week, knowing I’m nestled safely under the Shadow of the Almighty as I sit still long enough for Him to continue working on and in me – His daughter. I am excited about experiencing the power of His Resurrection in a new way at this specific time in my life. Even so, come Lord Jesus!

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)

“20 He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.”
(Revelation 22:20-21)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart