let it go

Desensitized, Numb, Oblivious – or Just Callous: What Are YOU Crying Out Against?

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I wonder how you can effectively speak against something that still has a grip on you?  It’s virtually impossible – without being a hypocrite.  Selah.  It’s time to let God deal with the real, hidden matters of our hearts…

 “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.”

(Ezekiel 36:26)

 “That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;”

(Ephesians 3:16)

I recently experienced an abysmal descent into self-destructive behavior that lasted for a few days.  What did it start with?  One simple (unwise) decision that caused me to let my guard down.  I knew it didn’t even look innocent, but I took the plunge anyway…starting with a single faltering step.

For me, the trigger was eating some food items – in larger quantities – during some “free” business meals – over several consecutive days – that opened the door to me getting reacquainted with my old “comfortable” (over)eating habits so quickly it made my head spin.  I went from desensitized to numb to oblivious in a matter of minutes.  Three days later, I found myself reluctantly (yet giddily) buying 2 tubs of ice cream (because it was Buy One – Get One FREE, of course…no other reason…yeah, right!).  I convinced myself that I was disciplined enough to portion it out throughout the week…with it in the house with me…over a weekend…who was I fooling?  Only myself.  Within 3 days, I could see the bottom of the Rocky Road container.  At that point, it felt like a downhill slide, so I polished off the 2 remaining cones “to get rid of them” (yeah, right!)…and last night, I just went ahead and polished off the rest of the tub – in what amounted to one bowl.  Oh, for shame!

At any point, did exercise cross my mind?  Not for one exhilarating, chocolate-filled moment.  Not beyond opening the drawer to get yet another spoon…but I guess that doesn’t count, eh?  I got so sedentary by having a “day off” (which rapidly snowballed into several “days off”) of my routine and rigorous healthy regimen that I looked forward to watching my TV shows on DVR – for hours.  But that activity (or inactivity) opened a door that I obviously didn’t need to walk through, because the next day, I was feeling downright cruddy.

Only when I was asked to pray for two separate situations of serious need did I break outta my self-induced funk and see the stealthy trap of the enemy for what it was – a snare intended to get me out of position with Christ.  Before those “calls to intercession,” I was so sluggish I could hardly hear the voices of my family members, let alone the Lord.  I was just caught up in the euphoria of “doing what I was big and bad enough to do.”  In this case, it was eating what my flesh desired without regard to consequences.  And yes, the scale creeping up instead of down provides irrefutable evidence of my indiscretions…sigh.

What finally snapped me back to the reality of being who Christ called me to be (24/7/365 – not just when convenient or when I feel like it) was 1) a web search showing the link between glutton and idolatry (which I’d been putting off, but gee, is it undeniable!), and 2) a web search that turned up the base, depraved status of people who call themselves the Lord’s church but are far from it.  So I was reminded of the critical importance of remaining steadfast and prepared – a vessel of honor fit for the Lord’s use whenever He calls.

I felt the cloud of heaviness lift as I called on the power of God to help me walk in obedience.  I confessed my struggle to my husband, who graciously covered me in prayer and reaffirmed his commitment to support me (including help with slowing down my ice cream intake – thanks a lot, dude – no, really, I mean it).  After reminding me of last week’s Sunday School title (“Get Back on Track”), he even brought in some fresh cucumbers and tomatoes from the garden and presented them to me with gentle (yet firm) encouragement, “Go ahead and enjoy these today!” 

Whether you’re desensitized, numb, or oblivious in the midst of your own situation or struggle, there’s hope, friends!  Jesus came that we might reach out to Him and accept the lavish gifts of salvation, forgiveness, redemption, and restoration through His blood when we repent and receive Him – and of course, choose to turn from our sin.  When we receive Him, we are immersed in His extravagant, all-consuming presence.  Like a dry, brittle sponge getting saturated by the Holy Spirit, we are transformed and rejuvenated by His infinite power.  He is so refreshing.  Necessary.  Vital.  Imperative. 

Stay connected to your Source – your very life depends upon it.  I know mine does.

“Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.”

(Isaiah 58:1)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Spic ‘n’ Span Clean: Reconciling From the Inside Out

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Every now and then, we get a good wake-up call that reminds us of exactly where we are – and how far we have yet to travel on the path of spiritual maturity.  Whether it’s an issue of true forgiveness (not just that lip-service stuff), letting go of a habit we’ve been convicted of – multiple times (yes, change requires a converted heart), or just downright being obedient to the voice of the Lord (the first time), let’s balance the books and settle some things once and for all.  By dragging things out over time, we impede our own progress.  Resolutely determine that today will be a new start.  Put off the old man (Colossians 3:9) and be renewed in the spirit of your mind (Ephesians 4:22-24).

Let us take an accurate personal inventory and give the Holy Spirit free reign to ensure that we’re clean through and through – not just in the places where others can see.  There’s no need for hypocrisy (double standard, insincerity, pretense, two-facedness), for God sees it all, especially the hidden man of the heart (I Peter 3:4).

Father, help us to silence the tumultuous turmoil that bombards our minds, and toss out the accumulation of useless mental clutter that’s collecting dust and slowing our growth in Your Word.  We desire to hear Your voice clearly without interference, distraction, or distortion.  Wash us clean, Lord – from the inside out!  This is the cry of Your children’s hearts today…so we can remain in constant, unbroken, uninterrupted fellowship with You.  Amen.

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. 

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.”

(Matthew 23:25-26)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Solitary Confinement: Confessions on Kicking a Bad Habit

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You know, the flesh can talk really loud.  When you try to ignore it, it starts yelling.  Put it into withdrawal from its appetite of choice, and it launches into a full-blown temper tantrum.  Maybe that’s why Paul said, “I die DAILY” in I Corinthians 15:31.  Being “crucified with Christ” is the only way to keep the flesh in check!  The flesh must be starved; otherwise, the more you feed it, the more it wants.  They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes…

I recently rediscovered how competitive I am…with myself.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled up a computer Solitaire game to wind down one evening before bedtime instead of doing a crossword puzzle.  Harmless, right?  So I thought…

Forty minutes later, I had gotten the hang of the scoring mechanism, and I learned how time figured into my score.  And I wanted to beat it.  So I said to myself, “Just one more game…”  But that “one more game” wasn’t enough.  Ten games later (can you say compulsive personality?), I’d won several games, but I still hadn’t beaten my “best score.”  I was giving myself the gift of bags under my eyes, but I was fixed (more like fixated) on my goal.  I’m sure God would appreciate me having that same laser-like focus on His Word.  Imagine – having an addiction to the Word of God; we’d be unstoppable, saints! 

A few days later, my hubby came in to bowl a couple of games on the Wii. He must’ve seen my eyes glazed over as I peered intently at the computer screen, concentrating on winning.  He laughed and said, “You’ve got a Solitaire “jones,” girl!”  As much as I wanted to disagree, I knew he was right.  And I had to break that preoccupation – unproductive “idle” time was was creeping into “idol” territory.  He “sentenced” me to “no Solitaire games at night” for a couple of days straight.  I began to itch.  But I knew it was for my good, since I’d been mega-sleepy the mornings after my private Solitaire tournaments.

One night I was just waiting for him to fall asleep so I could – yep, you guessed it – go play Solitaire.  He put the brakes on that and told me to stay in the bed and channel surf until I got sleepy.  Now I KNOW channel surfing is a waste of time, but here I was stuck with the “lesser of two evils.”  I wasn’t at obsession level with this game (yet), but this seemingly harmless way to spend time had captivated my affections.  I was actually plotting and scheming when I could have my Solitaire time (making provision for the flesh)!  I don’t think the game itself is bad – it just became bad for me because I wasn’t disciplined enough to read my Word first or stop playing after 15 minutes and finish my other evening tasks (making lunches, laying out children’s outfits, loading the dishwasher) like I had some sense.

On yet another evening (I hadn’t learned my lesson yet – this went on about 2 weeks), I tried to circumvent the process of breaking my habit and “having just a li’l bit.”  Yeah right.  Actually, I was just planning to “do my own thing” (Did I really say that?  Yes.  It’s the truth – and that makes us free).  I figured that since I’d be sitting under the hair dryer for an hour, I could play Solitaire (multi-tasking – LOL) – after all, it wasn’t extra time I was spending on the game…it was just time I’d already be awake that I’d be using for personal recreation…right?  WRONG!  Time is God’s gift to me, and if I’m going to be a wise steward over it, I have to use it as HE directs.  Though I’d already set the laptop next to the hair dryer, I said ALOUD, “Flesh, you are NOT going to get what you want this time!.  You are going to read this Sunday School lesson and meditate on the Word of God for the hour you’re under the hair dryer.  This is what we’re gonna eat for the next hour.  You are starving from Solitaire.”  Do you see a theme here?  I had to actively choose righteousness and building up my spirit man.

I could’ve been content that I’d “given up” my spy TV program a couple of months ago.  I could’ve continued to rationalize that I “deserved” some time for a comparably innocuous relaxing activity.  But I was setting myself up for a fall.  When God points something out, He wants us to take action right then.  Nothing should have “beloved” status in our lives but Jesus.  However, is that really the case?  We’re in an information-driven society; would you go through withdrawal if someone took away access to your e-mail, iPod music downloads, cell phone, online social networking, text messages, novels, games, favorite TV programs, etc. for a week?  Be honest…with yourself!

Now I KNOW I’m not the only one who needs to use the invaluable resource of time more productively for God’s glory!  Today, I challenge you to solitary confinement with His Word.  Declare war on a time-waster that has usurped your single-minded attention on and devotion to your First Love!   Deny yourself something that you enjoy and instead, spend that time with your Creator.  You just might be surprised at what He shows you during your time of communing.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

(Galatians 5:24)

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

(James 5:16)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Scary Slimy Carrots: Hearing the Voice of Godly Wisdom

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This is starting to be very repetitious; one would think I’d have this lesson down pat by now, right?  Me too.  But alas, as I gathered my lunch this morning, I righteously reached for some healthy veggies.  This NEW bag of baby carrots was unopened; there were 2 weeks remaining before the expiration date; they didn’t look ashen.  All is safe, n’est-ce pas?  Non!  Au contraire, mon ami!  I suppose the test continues to present itself until you pass it…(sigh). 

As I suspiciously sniffed (multiple times with one raised eyebrow) at the squirrelly texture of the foreign glaze/sludge covering my beloved snack, my daughter said, “I think you should throw that away, Mommy.”  Horror of horrors, if that chile don’t sound like her Daddy! Well, bless the Lord for godly wisdom in its many forms.  For some twisted reason – and against my better judgment, and KNOWING I wouldn’t be eating this forsaken fare – I decided to bring them on to work with me (“just in case” I got hungry and needed a healthy snack was my warped line of reasoning).  Translation: just in case I wanted my hubby to give me that “I told ya so” disapproving look while assuring me he had no problem taking me to get my stomach pumped for my imprudent decision.  But I TOTALLY agreed with her, “You’re right sweetie, those don’t look right at all!”  I couldn’t even bring myself to taste one “just to make sure.”  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was definitely something sinister about these innocent-looking veggies lurking in my crisper – skull and crossbones territory.

What is godly wisdom telling you to get rid of today because it’s just not good for you?  Don’t suffer the consequences of disobedience when you can make the right choice God is specifically pointing out with flashing neon lights, red arrows, loud bells and whistles, and “Bridge Out Ahead” signs.  Keep it simple – obey God’s voice…whomever you hear it through.

“…and a little child shall lead them.”

(Isaiah 11:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Rotten Fruit Does NOT Get Better With Time

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Perhaps I’m unconsciously nurturing my unbeknownst-to-me inner scientist.  Maybe I’m a high-stakes risk-taker and just don’t know it yet.  Whatever the reason, more often than I care to admit, I have experiment-worthy items hiding in the back of my fridge.

“Fresh” is not a relative term, I’ve learned.  Yet, I keep wondering, “How could something that was so good 2 weeks ago be spoiled now?  A once-sweet, firm, ripe fruit is now sour, fermenting, and soggy.”  Well, fresh items deteriorate when not connected to their source of nutrients.  When plucked out of fertile soil and whisked away from exposure to regular water and sunlight, the fruit can be sustained on its own for only so long.

How does this apply to our own lives?  If we had (past tense) the fruit of the Spirit in operation in our lives in the past, but now it’s not operating at optimal level, we need to reconnect with our Source (through reading the Word, spending time in prayer, and listening to hear what God is saying specifically to us) so we can bring forth some fresh fruit.  Just a thought…ask God what He has to say about it.

Read on to see what the Word says will happen to a good-for-nothing tree producing bad fruit…

“Then said he to the multitude that came forth to be baptized of him, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?

Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.

And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.”

(Luke 3:7-9)

 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Expiration Date: Disregard at Your Own Risk

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On most food packaging, we see an expiration date field.  But it’s a suggestion, not a limit, right?  For instance, take a speed limit – do we REALLY cap our maximum driving speed at that top number, or do we take it as a “good idea” that we often ignore – like a “speed suggestion?” Just a rhetorical question…because we know the law says we should not exceed the speed limit.

The Parable of the Ashy Carrots:  A Life or Death Situation?

Last week, I ate some ashy-looking baby carrots.  Why, you may ask?  They were probably dry because the expiration date on the bag said February 20 and I was eating them in March.  Just a possibility… But the reason I ate them?  Well, I admit that was just a decision against my better judgment.

Sure, I saw the expiration date.  But I don’t think I even paused before saying, “Oh well, I’m sure they’re alright,” and proceeded to toss them into my lunch bag.  Fast-forward to afternoon nibble ‘n’ nosh time at my desk when I got to the second-to-last ashy carrot – it had a funny smell, was mashed up, and – ewwww! – is that a rotten spot?  Yup, with that weird taste, I could tell that it had definitely expired.  RIP, ashy carrots.  RIP.  I threw that fatefully icky bite and the remaining 1.5 carrots away as my tummy rumbled ominously.

Today, I’m eating baby carrots from a new bag that will expire later this month.  What a novel concept, eh?  They are bright orange and they look happy (and hydrated).  They sound crisp and crunchy as they prepare to jump into my tummy.  I’m sure the beta carotene and other nutrients are intact.  These healthy carrots don’t have an undercover agenda to cripple my innards.  So why on earth did I first choose the sickly-looking carrots the first time around?  I guess I was teetering on a slippery slope, taking a risk I thought I could afford.  Thankfully, nothing horrible happened after eating those ashy carrots (though I shudder at the memory of that horrific taste).  But we take similar risks with other things when God has clearly shown us the best choice for our lives.  So we have to consistently choose righteousness and obedience…and shun ashy carrots.  Selah.  Because there’s often much more at stake than our tummies…

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”

(Deuteronomy 30:19)

 “In the way of righteousness is life: and in the pathway thereof there is no death.”

(Proverbs 12:28)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

You Can’t Take It With You – and don’t dumpster dive to retrieve it!

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There they stared at me:  reminders of pleasant memories – my birthday dinner, our family vacation…and the list goes on.  But really, after I recorded it in the checkbook, did I still need to keep the receipt?  No.  But honestly, I forgot the receipt was in there…so the clutter just continued to build up.  And receipts seem to have magnetic powers, as they obviously attract more of their own kind over time.  Maybe those dark folds and crevices of the purse are good for reproduction…

Whatever the case may be (and I think background, detailed reasons, and sentimental reasons are significant), I had to let it go.  Not to say that it wasn’t representative of something positive in my past, but I don’t need to keep that representation to my own detriment – particularly when space is at a premium.  By the same token, we sometimes hold onto memories that have become mental clutter.  Take a personal inventory today and see what old thoughts you can discard to free up some space in your mind.  Your thinking will be clearer and your heart will feel lighter.

Forgive my 12-step program tone, but I am in the process of becoming a reformed clutterbug…ooh, I do hate to admit that!  But as they say, admitting you have a problem is half the battle.  And as my hubby says, doing something about it is the other half…please pray for me, y’all!  As I’m learning to only hold onto things with eternal value, I acknowledge that I have miles to go on this journey! 

“Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.

She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour.

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.”

(Proverbs 3:13-18)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Shopping for the Apocalypse…and other ridiculously skewed notions

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Well, I finally cleaned out my purse because it had become increasingly and unbearably heavier over the past few weeks.  In a rare moment of “clutter enlightenment,” I realized some of the stuff I’d amassed just needed to be discarded, including:

  • A clump of tissues for those “mommy-preparedness moments” that had sunken to the bottom, were disintegrating, and were releasing bits of dustlets (is “dustlets” a word? I dunno, but the paper fibers are floating everywhere and it’s pretty annoying)
  • Business cards for a business I’m no longer in
  • Five assorted shades lip glosses and lipsticks – like, how many lips do I have?
  • Multiple pens in various colors – I will not give on this one – hey, I’m a writer!

What really caught my eye was the 4-week collection of grocery lists…and pantry inventories taken before weekly grocery trips…and accompanying grocery receipts.  Seriously – am I planning to conduct a quantitative analysis based on and extracted from my weekly shopping data?  NO.  So why can’t I just trash ‘em???  Oh wow – did I actually just find this online resource?  Not sure if I can do this, but I might have to give it a try…is that a key indicator if I had a sudden urge to PRINT this advice and post it in my cube???  Hmmm, yes, that’s addressed in #3…Lord, have mercy…

Praise report:  I am now able to stick to the weekly grocery budget given to me by my hubby.  That’s a major accomplishment for someone who didn’t connect going over the allotted amount by an extra $5 or $10 (or whatever) with taking available funds away from another bill in the monthly budget.  Did I subconsciously think there was a money tree growing somewhere on my property??? No, but my compulsive tendencies were fueled by the lure of “SALE – this week only!” and coupons for items I wasn’t even planning to buy.  With prayer, I’m learning to stay focused and get no more than what my family needs for this week.  But it’s tough when you can “justify” getting it “just in case” – especially if it’s on sale…

I repented as I sheepishly admitted that stockpiling for “just in case” and gluttony were closely tied to my “preparations” of having “enough” in the house.  No problem with being prepared…but when it’s driven by anxiety, you have to check your motives.  I did.

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.”

(Revelation 2:17)

 “And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.”

(Revelation 6:8)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Obscured by the Light of Christ

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During lunchtime, I ran into someone I’d worked with over a year ago.  Neither one of us realized the other still worked at the company.  When he walked away to get his lunch, he said, “Okay, bye Terri; good seeing you!”  I smiled and waved goodbye and didn’t bother to correct him, because it really didn’t matter that he didn’t know my name.

How many times are we willing to humble ourselves and be subject to someone else’s name – specifically, the Name of Christ Jesus?  Can someone “slip up” and call you by His Name?  Do your actions and attitudes reflect Him positively?  Let His light outshine you…

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”

(John 3:30)

“Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.”

(Colossians 3:2-4)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change My Heart, O God

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…”

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart