marriage

I Don’t Wanna Go THERE!

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Last night, I made beautiful chicken kabobs, assisted in the assembly process by my daughter, a skilled and meticulous chef in her own right. Red onions, multicolored peppers, mushrooms, and okra from our garden added to the nutritious visual feast.

As I took the sheet pans out of the oven while trying not to dump the chicken liquid, I felt the singe of skin…back of my left hand, near my wedding band finger. The irony that even healthy food can hurt ya loomed heavy. In 20/20 hindsight, I wished I’d used 2 full oven mitts instead of relying on plain ol’ flat potholders to do the job. Too late. In a split-second, I was reminded that I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. 

As a mom, I was gonna “walk it off” with the unsatisfying remedy of the ice cube that slipped into the sink after providing a few short-lived moments of relief. My son recommended that I put on some burn cream…and after 5 minutes, I relented & found myself rifling through the first aid kit. That cream almost sizzled as it soothed. Granted, this was a VERY MINOR burn. Nevertheless, it was no less hot (and my skin no less burned and beginning to wrinkle up), and served as a vivid prompt to keep my heart clean by staying in close fellowship with Christ, and walking daily in love, forgiveness, and grace…because I truly do NOT want to go to Hell. Not for a split-second, and certainly not for eternity… 

“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
(Psalm 9:17)
“For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.”
(Psalm 86:13)
“But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
(Matthew 5:22)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Cold or Hot?

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My hubby says I must be “part lobster” because I like to take really hot baths.
I guess all that’s missing is some Old Bay Seasoning…

Through my sleep-deprived coronafog this week, I struggled to get a hot bath on 2 separate occasions – but alas, the faucets were not cooperating. I couldn’t figure out why – after letting the water run for almost 5 minutes – it was still tepid…a most unpleasant prospect for us crustaceans. A semi-warm bath just won’t cut it. Two nights ago, I thought extended showers by my wonderful teens who also ran the dishwasher took all of Mom’s hot water, so I reluctantly resorted to a shower when the bath taps still responded barely warm. I was so tired, I almost stomped through the bathroom. I’m intentionally working on my evening wind-down routine after being in front of computer screens most of the day.

Tonight, my candles were lit and I NEEDED a therapeutic bath with epsom salts. So I went to The Fixer, my handy-dandy hubby (who’d just done a masterful job on our subway tile kitchen backsplash – way to go, honey!). 🙂 He checked the hot water heater that was up as high as it could go. Hot water ran from every other faucet but my tub…until hubby turned the other knob. Seriously…I’ve lived in this house (and been taking hot baths in this same tub) over half a decade and still had to guess which handle dispensed the hot water?! (Yes. I guess I choose to use my cranial capacity for more substantial matters). I shook my head at myself in exhaustion, thanked him for valiantly solving my latest crisis, and prepared to settle in for my hard-won hot bath.

It was one of those “womp womp” moments – like when tech support tells you to try rebooting your computer…which instantly fixes the computer issue you’ve been having…and you wish you’d tried that before waiting 30 minutes to get some assistance. My whole family got a good laugh at my expense, but I was too tired to try to defend the foolishness, and I think they had compassion on me.

This true blonde moment couldn’t be covered by my burgundy hair rinse even if I tried. Frazzled by quarantine as we prepped for the start of a new virtual school year (and possibly a zombie apocalypse), I guess I’d gotten my wires crossed, spatial relations whacked out, and looked at something so common and familiar from the wrong perspective. 

Doesn’t this happen to us spiritually more often than we care to admit? Ah, I am evermore thankful for the gift of glorious grace…

“13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:”
(Revelation 3:13-17)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Full, But Unsatisfied

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Two weeks ago, I thought this was just a “get it off my chest, rambling personal journal entry.”  But now I realize that I have to post it…because I wrote Part Two (unbeknownst to me) today. So here it is – Part One…may you be blessed by this big ol’ heaping helping of transparent exposure…

Have you ever eaten a meal and been stuffed to capacity, only to realize that it did not hit the spot? Or you worked hard to achieve a significant goal, milestone, or accomplishment, only to experience the same nagging void that was there when you started? Yeah, me too. Utterly disappointing, isn’t it? #EpicLetdown

On far too many occasions through my 4 decades-plus of life, I’ve reached the top of a ladder, only to realize I’d placed it against the wrong wall. I’d achieved a goal, but not the fulfillment to accompany it. So what next?

I lost the (same) 20 pounds (again)…only to regain them (again). I got the new job responsibility, accolade, or recognition…only to realize it wasn’t the adrenaline rush I was looking for after all. I tried the new gourmet recipe and presented it to my family with little acknowledgment for the effort…only to feel my high-flying “mom balloon” deflated amongst the empty dirty dishes.

What was I really seeking? Contentment. Affirmation. Fulfillment. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I know that comes only from being at peace with the will of God – not seeking to check off the next achievement. No matter how many things within my span of control (which admittedly are very few) I tweaked, I only experienced satisfaction when I decided to yield to God’s selected path for me in that season. Even when it wasn’t glamorous or sexy. Especially when it felt mundane and routine (quarantine, anyone?).

So how do we change the narrative? Give it up, and give in. Go back to Square One – HIS plan. Yeah, it’s the one that does NOT look like your plan…but it’s custom tailored to fit you perfectly.

My dietician’s recent reminder that we’re never able to satisfy emotional hunger with physical food was a light bulb “aha!” moment and a real game changer. The same premise is true in the spiritual realm: we’re never able to satisfy our spiritual hunger with anything but Christ…we were created with that void He longs to fill. Don’t get sidetracked by distractions…let us focus on the Lord and allow HIM to fill us during this time when He continues to draw us deeper into His presence..

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried:
he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”
(II Samuel 22:31)

“He revealeth the deep and secret things:
he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.”
(Daniel 2:22)

“And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life:
he that cometh to me shall never hunger;
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
(John 6:35)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Broken, But Not Irreparable

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God, You truly know how to crush to extract the essence without destroying the value within a person…

After “forced intercession” due to a heaviness I just couldn’t shake and tears that came from outta nowhere (who ME, try to run from God?! get outta here!😏), after praying through the progeny of my foremothers’ bloodlines and repenting, I finally got a release and this flowed forth. It’s a poem that’ll probably become a song. I captured it in my new $1 pink journal with a gold heart that says “Love Yourself” (because I can’t resist something sparkly that’s only $1…so of course I got one for my daughter, too! LOL). When I was about to turn the page, I noticed that I’d written on the last page instead of the first page. I’ve NEVER done that when starting a new journal – intentionally or unintentionally…and yet, it was fitting and timely today.

I truly didn’t intend to post this backstory – I was just gonna share the poem, but after my time of cleansing tears and emptying out of my soul (thank You, Lord), I must obey…

So be encouraged as you go through your own process of transformation during this “safer at home” time of being shut in and formed, molded, and shaped on the Master Potter’s wheel…ALL for HIS glory.

Broken things can still be used;

They can be repaired,

They can be restored.

To a state of increased value

That only the love of God can afford.

Purchased by God – priceless gift;

Feel the burdens of your soul lift.

God wrote the end of your story first;

He sees your best when you’re at your worst.

Don’t rush His process of soul restoration;

Watch Him remove all frustration…

Rest in Him as He blankets your soul in His peace.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

(Philippians 1:6)


© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

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This is dedicated to every father,
with special honor given to Black fathers who are committed to holding their families with strong, protective arms and hearts full of love.
Additionally, those who may not be biological fathers but choose to serve as positive role models in their families and communities are worthy of recognition.

What a time this has been. I begin with an attitude of gratitude after weeks of reflection and introspection. Current events covered by the media only magnify the significance of racial tension that brews, bubbles, and seethes in this “melting pot” of a country. 

I am grateful for my father. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my son who is just on the cusp of manhood and 12 months away from possibly (probably, but I’m OBVIOUSLY still dealing with just a smidge of denial) not residing under my roof, facing the world with what his father and I taught him and surrounded by prayer. I am grateful for the MANY good men and fathers who have graced my life with wisdom, knowledge, insight, instruction, guidance, and discipline through the years. I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful for my faithful and consistent Heavenly Father!

For the pressures, expectations, letdowns, and rejoicings cut too short by reality – over and over again – from my perspective, it looks like being a man these days is a pretty tough job.

Nevertheless, the men I’m fortunate to have in my life are more than built to conquer the tasks presented. Can’t open that stubborn jar? Give it here – I’ve got you! Broken bones or middle of the night child projectiles? No problem – there’s health insurance and a shop-vac for that! Debt that stresses you beyond imagination? Never fear, dear maiden – there’s a plan to address, cover, and conquer that! Scared of the dark, monsters under your bed (or in your closet…or in your past), or the unknowns of the future? Let us pray – I’m here with you, and I know Someone Who will make it all alright for you…especially when I can’t.

For all your perfectly imperfect parts – many or few;
We absolutely couldn’t (and don’t want to) do it without you!

From the girl who doesn’t restrict celebration to a single or specific day, I say TODAY with much respect: Happy Father’s Day! And thank you for your innumerable ongoing sacrifices. And love. And example. And mistakes. And for getting up and getting back in the game even when you’re tired of what seems to be the same ol’ cycle. Be encouraged – because you’re making a difference…every day.

With great appreciation,
Kayren

“1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words:
keep my commandments, and live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding:
forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.”
(Proverbs 4:1-5) 

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Mom Chronicles 2020

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chronicle (noun) –
record, history, account, diary, register, journal, story, narrative

chronicle (verb) –
report, record, re-count, relate, narrate, register, keep track of, make note of, write down

In my opinion, EVERY day is Mother’s Day.😉 Whether you are a mother, you have a mother, or you know a mother, stories to chronicle abound! No matter what stage of life you’re in, celebrate this weekend by taking a moment to reflect on the impact of mothers in your life – and share your gratitude!

Every culture has its own “mom-isms.” I grew up in the South, raised by traditional disciplinarians. Do any of these sound familiar?

  • “Because I SAID so – that’s why!”
  • “I’m not “such & such’s” mother – I’m YOUR Mama!”
  • My fave from my grandma: “I’m not mean; I just MEAN what I say!”
  • BONUS: “This is gonna hurt ME more than it hurts you!” (before being disciplined in love LOL)

If you can relate to (or recall with a shudder!) any of these examples, chances are you had at least one authority figure in your life who cared about you making it from childhood to adulthood successfully; hence, you have a reason to be thankful for their influence.😁 And if you’ve used any of these “mom-isms” within the past 24 hours, you are definitely a mom!🤣

We all have memories when reflecting on the mothers in our lives – biological, adopted, neighborhood, mentors, friends, those we’ve admired from afar, etc. Whether you had the June Cleaver, Claire Huxtable, Martha Stewart, Florida Evans, or Peg Bundy type of mom – or somewhere in between – moms are a special breed.

I’ve learned (from experience) that sometimes their volume button gets stuck on HIGH.❣ Their eyes leak at the most inopportune moments.😥 Most of them really DO have eyes in the back of their head.🧐😳👀 Sometimes they say one thing, but mean something totally different.😬🙄😖 But whatever model you were assigned from the factory😇 – treasure your mom as a one-of-a-kind design who helped make you who you are today…UNIQUELY YOU!

I’m praying you have a blessed and Happy Mother’s Day – thank YOU for being a precious gift!🎁💖

“29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: 
but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
(Proverbs 31:29-31)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Disconnected for Techno-Sabbatical

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I snapped these lovely photos on Friday after walking 3 steps from my front door (thanks, Awesome Gardener Hubby!), gently reminded that God makes every thing beautiful in his time. It’s kinda neat to see how everything is beginning to bloom in this season (even me) as “stay at home” measures limit our outside movement, but not our personal growth…

Granted, I’m writing my thoughts using an electronic device. However, I found such peace today just by giving myself permission to disconnect from technology and screens for a brief time away from the information influx that threatened to become a mental tsunami. Though I limit myself to checking 1 social media account 1-2 times a week and I keep my phone on vibrate to cut down on audio clutter, I didn’t realize the energy I was putting out to manage 2 personal e-mail inboxes, text messages, incoming phone calls, and voicemails. Not to speak of the constant barrage of marketing messages blasting from endless sources.

I’m not even that popular anymore (LOL – it’s all relative – ha ha), but the volume of incoming information to process, decision, prioritize, or choose to ignore clearly illuminated the ratio of ONE of ME to MANY information sources. I realized the need to clear my mind and savor some sumptuous silence…immediately!

So it began: I activated my work e-mail out-of-office message for the week I’d taken for vacation (now a staycation – but that’s cool with me!). I turned my cell phone ringer off and asked my parents to text me if they wanted to reach me – and they were happy to pray for my time of techno-rest while assuring me they’re doing fine. Finally, I sent a text message to a couple of folks who are used to hearing from me regularly, letting them know I’d be available after this week to reconnect.

It was really liberating – like I’d given myself a “free pass” to unplug from my routine in order to be rejuvenated in God’s presence and reconnect with my family while undistracted by external commitments. And I settled in for a blessed week, knowing I’m nestled safely under the Shadow of the Almighty as I sit still long enough for Him to continue working on and in me – His daughter. I am excited about experiencing the power of His Resurrection in a new way at this specific time in my life. Even so, come Lord Jesus!

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)

“20 He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.”
(Revelation 22:20-21)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

 

 

An Ounce of Prevention: Adventures in “Stay at Home” Snacking

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“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
– Benjamin Franklin

Decisions, decisions! Hypothetically speaking, say your spouse goes to the local warehouse store for something other than toilet paper or hand sanitizer. After this brief trip to forage for sustaining family nourishment, let’s say a 16-ounce bag of BBQ flavored beef jerky finds its way to your home office desk and you mindlessly nosh on it during your millionth conference call. If, by chance, you open the bag only to pick out the tenderest bits that congregate in the bottom, try not to regret that you didn’t pull out a reasonable, small portion in a measurable container and put the sealed package back in the pantry before you started snacking.

Friendly reminder: 16 ounces = 1 pound. Don’t do it. Even if it tastes super yummy. Trust me – you won’t win…you can’t beat a pound (or even half a pound) of jerky in one sitting. Well…at least you shouldn’t. Even though it’s a good protein source, and you certainly need protein to help you make it through one more day of the “stay at home” directive with everyone else in your space. Just take my word for it. And don’t get any bright ideas about impulsively ordering a substitute junk food stash when you see the Amazon Prime truck make a delivery to your neighbor’s house, either! 🙂

p.s. Because I love you, I’m reminding you again: 16 ounces = 1 pound. This is especially applicable to homemade pound cakes. Don’t ask me how I know and have gathered valid proof…twice…without remorse…in the past few weeks. Is that lovely photo incriminating – or did the crumbs around my mouth give me away? Maybe pre-slicing made it too easy for me to nibble when passing through the kitchen? I’ll never know, since the aforementioned cakes are nothing more than a distant memory…

Hmmm, was that a pound of cure or a pound of cake? LOL

I’m estimating that every delightfully delectable buttery crumb (oh so worth it!) equals about 200 steps. Let’s call it a coping mechanism that should be used judiciously and sparingly as the apocalypse approaches…friends, I hope this made you smile as you count your blessings (and not pounds!) this week…

I’m sending love your way & praying we all stay healthy as we stay at home,
Kayren

“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.”
(Philippians 4:5)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Feeling Tossed?

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Do you ever feel tossed (like an ocean wave…or a really hearty salad) when things don’t go as planned or expected (like no March Madness 2020)? I do…

A lot has changed in my corner of the world since I posted at the beginning of the month. You can probably say the same. It’s just that kind of time. 

At the beginning of the month, I took a vacation day from work to celebrate “Happy Hardworking ME Day!” (ME = Mommy Extraordinaire)…I scheduled my first mani/pedi in several months and enjoyed the royal treatment at Elevation Beauty & Nail Spa  (shout-out to my new fave nail spot in the University area for pampering and perspective maintenance)…highly recommend!

Today, I’m prepping for Week 3 (of 2 months *minimum*) support of my children who are physically out of their school classroom environment and transitioning into distance learning from home. Does this make me a Schoolmaster? Um, yes…

At the beginning of the month, I was excited about being assigned to a new project at work.

Today, I find myself struggling to adjust to working from home 100% without ANY options to go into the office as our entire state is under “stay at home” directives.

At the beginning of the month, Daylight Saving Time impacted my circadian rhythm…who knew 1 hour could make such a huge impact on your life? I found out a few years ago. LOL

Today, I find myself irritable as my inner night owl natural tendencies collide with my domestic and professional responsibilities that start earlier in the morning than I can sustain on a few hours of sleep. I’m working towards a healthy balance of proper rest (being awake to know there’s a 2am national news show on is NOT helping my plight), regular exercise (though sporadic exercise would be more than I’m doing right now), and wise food choices (eating the majority – but not all! – of a homemade iced lemon pound cake…by myself…in 2 days…without remorse…is probably less than beneficial). #JudgmentFreeZone #PandemicCaloriesDontCountDoThey 🤣

Perhaps, like I do, you find yourself grasping for some semblance of normalcy as “the new norm” is being reshaped for our respective communities each day – and sometimes being redefined every few hours. It seems like as soon as I make one adjustment, five more unexpected changes are hurled my way, and I’m accountable for responding properly with wisdom and maturity – and then adapting quickly…no matter how stretched to capacity I may feel.

Nevertheless, God’s Word – as always – offers comfort, assurance, and strength for this particular part of the journey we find ourselves travelling. When we are afflicted and tossed, He promises to establish us – in Himself…the Solid Rock. He is with us in the midst of every trial and tribulation – to teach us lessons in the fires of adversity, and to bring us forth refined as pure gold, without even the smell of smoke!

Even as things around us appear to deteriorate rapidly, may we endure, stay encouraged, and seek the “blessing in disguise” right under our noses. A family member, friend, or neighbor who is ill or has a need may present an opportunity for us to be the hands and feet that extend the love of Christ through needed acts of service. A child you’re suddenly “shut in” or “locked down” with for weeks (or months – grace & mercy please, Lord! 😇🙏🏼) on end may be the answer to prayers you prayed long ago for the reconciliation and restoration of right relationship. And believe it or not, when you humble yourself enough to admit your own need, you may find a source of support available TO YOU that you never knew existed.

“Social distancing” in a physical sense doesn’t mean we withdraw from connecting in meaningful ways with those we care about. We must be more creative and intentional about finding ways to reach out to those who need to experience kindness and compassion.

God has equipped us for this battle, and already calls us MORE than conquerors through Christ. May we see our present assignments as gifts for us to be further strengthened and prepared as saints of the Most High who share the Good News of the Gospel in love and with joy every time there is an open door. When we look around, I believe we’ll see that our next door is not at all far away…

I’m praying blessings, safety, and good health for you and your family,
Kayren

“11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.
12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.
13 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.
14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.”
(Isaiah 54:11-14)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Make Room for True Abundance

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Ah, the new decade is finally here…but are we REALLY prepared to receive the bountiful blessings God has in store for us this year? If by chance you still have some lingering residue from 2019 (& before!), fear not – there is HOPE! We can make room for the new by clearing out the old…starting today, starting NOW.

“18 Remember ye not the former things,
neither consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing;
now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?
I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert.”
(Isaiah 43:18-19)

“And he that sat upon the throne said,
Behold, I make all things new.
And he said unto me,
Write: for these words are true and faithful.”
(Revelation 21:5)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart