marriage

Relief, Rest, and Release from Unrealistic Expectations

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Over the past month, several wake-up calls have underscored my finite capacity and helpless inability to whip out the “invisible Wonder Woman cape and boots” from the back of the closet at a second’s notice. Not that I didn’t realize I had limitations (gee, am I aware of my personal limitations!)…but in my trying not to focus on them, I kinda blurred the lines between fantasy and reality. I didn’t notice that I’d been slowly but steadily creeping back to attempting to save the world in my own strength – again. But my sheer exhaustion and utter fatigue should’ve tipped me off.

Case in point: Last Thursday, I learned about an extra-curricular activity (regional academic team competition) my children had earned the opportunity to participate in…outside of the city…on this Saturday. (Anyone who knows me is aware that I LIVE by my meticulously updated family calendar). Now a *normal* person who *already* had several commitments on that same day would have no problem identifying that they couldn’t squeeze one more ounce into an already full container. But not me! I didn’t go into flat-out panic mode. Yet, I DID start brainstorming options for how to “make it happen” – for my children, the team, the coach, the school whose reputation would be enhanced by a team win…world peace – yeah, my foolishness was just that lofty and unrealistic. Unfortunately, this entailed either (or all of the following):

  1. Asking my wonderful hubby to forgo his work assignments to get at least one child to another city by 9am…because I was already committed to an activity that starts at 10am in Charlotte.
  2. Putting my child in a car for a 1-hour drive with a parent I’d only met once who was going to the same event.
  3. Assuming that there would be no traffic or accidents on I-85 while attempting to get the second child back for afternoon orchestra rehearsal (for a concert in 2 weeks)…by 1:30pm.
  4. Ignoring the fact that I’m scheduled to be in choir rehearsal Saturday at 1pm, so I probably wouldn’t be of any real assistance in these transportation gyrations.

If you think there were gaping holes in my logic, you’re right…I was just trying to cobble together potential solutions, regardless of the feasibility, practicality, or achievability of my improbable pseudo-goals.

None of these options would fly with my husband (especially the second one: “What do you know about their driving habits, what they’re carrying in their vehicle, who else will be with them?” etc., etc.). I knew before I asked him that I had no satisfactory answers. Yet, I asked anyway, in a feeble attempt to salvage the mirage of “being able to get it all in and assuage all parties involved.” And for what? You already know that he firmly vetoed every option I unconvincingly presented.

The children’s egos wouldn’t have been crushed by not participating; they were cool with it and knew there were prior commitments on our schedule. Yet, I still had that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I didn’t want to have to tell one or more parties, “I’m sorry, but we’re unable to participate in this activity at this time.”

Relief (from self-imposed anxiety because I anticipated potentially disappointing someone else) came only with the cheery e-mail response that the teacher completely understood that I was unable to 1) clone myself, or 2) be in two cities (one hour apart) at the same time. In the meanwhile, I had worked myself up into a froth – in vain. There was absolutely NO GODLY FRUIT to show for this flurry of mental histrionics and “what ifs.” How absurd was that on my part?

So what’s my point? Let’s free ourselves this year from the “what will people say?” mindset. Commit to “stop doing crazy.” Fight that random, bizarre pop-up thought that may be residue from PPD (People-Pleasing Disorder) or CHD (Chronic Helping Disorder) that still lingers, no matter how hard you’ve scrubbed. 🙂 As long as we’re doing our best to walk in excellence according to God’s Word – which includes taking care of ourselves and our families (and not minimizing or excluding this as a priority) – we can breathe a sigh of relief, rest in the Lord, and release ourselves from unrealistic expectations (whether real or, most likely, perceived). Then we can be about our Father’s business…

“28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30)

© Copyright 2017 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Capturing THIS Moment: A Celebration of Life

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LIFE = Love In Full Expression
Kayren’s “definition of life” – February 2017

The vat of cheap bubble gel I bought over month ago for a leisurely dream bath (replete with candles) mocks me as it sits by the tub…unused. Each day, I’ve rationalized that “a shower is quicker and more convenient” when I’m exhausted after yet another long day, but I know I’m just putting it off. One small but significant act of self-care could have slowed down my merry-go-round of life for just a few moments – but I let the opportunity slip through my fingers like grains of sand. Today is the day I needed a bubble bath most…over a month ago. Get the picture?

In the past month, I’ve experienced the unexpected passing of my father-in-law, the joyous wedding of my nephew, a reflective Valentine’s Day with my wonderful hubby of nearly 17 years, and the commemorative 14th birthday of my firstborn son. Whew – talk about a sentimental time! With all of these life events touching significant men in my life, I’ve been calling my own daddy a lot more frequently – and the support on the other end of the phone has been vital, timely, and greatly appreciated. To say that these life events have taken me on an emotional roller coaster may not be an accurate analogy. Perhaps the churn of a washing machine more closely describes the variety of “cycles” I’ve whizzed through (at an accelerated pace) in a relatively short time span.

Which brings me to this unpoetic moment (inelegantly – yet perhaps appropriately – orchestrated by my dishwasher droning in the background) that I’m capturing to do what I encourage so many others to do in order to stay spiritually and emotionally healthy: journal. My cup nearly ran over today as I teetered dangerously close to the edge (trying to look like I’m keeping it together but I really wanted to go sit undisturbed in a dark closet for a few minutes to savor the silence and stillness). My mental filter was clogged and I needed to download and offload the multitude of thoughts cluttering my mind, heart, and soul. Yep, I was bracing for impact as I anticipated the sound of me smacking the wall. Nevertheless, God in His infinite grace used His strategically-placed children to pull me out of the melancholy. Because I still have a job to do for the King of Kings. My itty-bitty fickle feelings haven’t exempted me from fulfilling my purpose or completing my assignment. So I get back on track.

And I rejoice in this moment because I have much for which to be grateful. From now on, I will think of life in terms of “love in full expression” – it runs the gamut of highs and lows, ups and downs, sweet and bitter, laughter and tears – and spans everything in between. Love and life are inextricably intertwined. And I’m learning each day that God intentionally designed it that way. It solidifies my need for Him – my utter dependence on Him for every moment of every day…not just when I feel like my tank is low or empty because I’ve come to the end of my own sufficiency. What amazing grace from an awesome God…worthy of celebration. Take this moment to render a heartfelt worship to your Creator; it will shift and align you back into proper position to hear His next instruction. At least that’s what happened for me today…

“18 When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up.
19 In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”
(Psalm 94:18-19)
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
(John 14:6)

© Copyright 2017 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Taking Inventory, Measuring Growth

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What a full year it’s been; I have MUCH to be thankful for – and I’m sure you do, too! The “Watch Me Grow” chart with the giraffe comes to mind – you know, the one where a parent measures how tall their child is growing every so often? It felt like God kept His spiritual measuring stick handy for me in 2016, but thinking back over the year, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every step of the journey was preparation for what is yet to come.

In retrospect, God has kept my family through one transition after another, and I am grateful. One of the most significant adjustments was the mid-year 180⁰ career change of my spouse. Prior to that, God sustained us during a stint when my hardworking hubby endured a 3rd Shift role with valiant strength and dogged determination that ministered volumes to our family and friends alike. Both children are in middle school and are successfully navigating those potentially turbulent waters with the God’s grace, parental patience, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance and protection. Were things perfect in my family this year? By no means – but I am a witness that consistently-applied discipline DOES indeed bring forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness! 🙂

I’ve put a renewed focus on my personal role within the ministry of marriage as we celebrated our “Sweet 16 Wedding Anniversary” for an entire month. As I committed to make my 40th year on the planet fabulous every day (and it has a wonderful celebration filled with glitter, laughter, tears, and joy!), I learned that a sign of true maturity is to admit the things I don’t know (and to be okay with it) – this was a liberating epiphany (especially since I consider myself to be a planner extraordinaire)! I’ve learned to embrace where I am at this specific point in time instead of allowing dissatisfaction to propel me to attempt to achieve some unrealistic and elusive goal that was never mine to begin with.

We’ve mended bridges with family members and friends, realizing that time really does heal all wounds, even though it doesn’t change the past. I’ve learned to extend forgiveness proportional to the amount of times I need to ask for it.

I’ve diligently worked on holding my tongue so I don’t respond before thinking (as much…trust me, this is progress for someone with my DNA – LOL). I’m doing this not through clenched and gritted teeth to “finally take that vow of silence I’ve been threatening forever” (but been woefully unable to make good on – it’s in the genes; what can I say?!). Now, this refined behavior comes from a primary desire to please God and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to be manifested in every facet of my life.

Sometimes we can’t see how much we’ve grown because it’s like waiting for a flower to bloom 5 minutes after we dropped the seed into the dirt – or more accurately, it’s like watching paint dry. We’re too close to the action to be able to fully absorb the progress. Yet, by stepping back with objective observation through a time lapse lens, we notice the flower unfurl, the seed begin to sprout and bring forth abundance, and our personal growth and development come forth according to God’s Word. I encourage you to take inventory of your own growth over this past year – you may be surprised to see that, though you’re not where you intend to be, you’ve far surpassed your starting point…and this, my friend, is indeed praiseworthy!

Join me in looking ahead to a new year full of promise and potential with joyful anticipation…God’s best is yet to come!

“20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
(Lamentations 3:20-26)

 © Copyright 2016 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Obedience to Authority is NOT Grievous: Stay Under the Umbrella of Protection

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“Obedience is better than sacrifice!” My mama used to drill this into my head as a child (which isn’t altogether a bad thing, now that I reflect upon it). Usually, it was to remind me to just go ahead do what she’d said instead of analyzing it first, then putting my own “personalized interpretation” on it, and possibly getting around to doing what she’d told me to do much later than she desired. The scripture verse referenced comes from the story of King Saul who – to his own detriment, demise, and utter downfall – decided to “do his own thing” because he thought his idea was better than God’s (or perhaps he imprudently figured that God wouldn’t realize he did something different from what was instructed… and grossly miscalculated – I dunno).

Earlier today, I had the opportunity to minister encouragement to a precious sister in Christ. I was led to gently (but firmly) remind her that God had placed her husband in her life for her protection, and therefore she should stop trying to “figure it out” by herself, and receive the wisdom and counsel coming from within her own house, and apply it (in a timely manner) for her benefit. Well, wouldn’t you know I got tested on that very same thing within less than an hour of saying it to her?

My wonderful husband is fiercely protective of our family. Since I’m certain it has something to do with him taking seriously the fact that he will have to stand before God and give an account of how he cared for those he was given stewardship over, I really try not to give the brother a hard time! Being the health/safety/well-being oriented person (and hence weather-watcher) that he is, he was mindful of the fact that our area (multiple counties – indeed a great part of the state) is under a tornado warning until 10 p.m. Now I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a Doubting Thomas, but even after seeing the headlines on two local news websites and checking the weather app with the big ol’ red shading over 1/3 of the state, it really didn’t faze me; I was prepared to carry on with my planned evening routine…that is, until my hubby pulled rank and the emergency brake, and my plan came to a screeching halt.

His phone call during my commute was crisp, curt, and to-the-point, “I see how the weather is looking on this side of town; call and cancel the children’s piano lesson tonight.” Casually glancing around at the balmy sunshine and fluffy white clouds, I opened my mouth, then closed it after many thoughts zoomed through my head but I wouldn’t let them outta my lips, “It’s probably not gonna even do anything over this way…the piano teacher is 5 houses down the street from ours…even if something did happen, I’m sure we could get home safely…” It wasn’t worth a protest, or even asking my infamous “what if” since no commentary, opinion, or feedback had been invited or solicited. He had spoken; it was my turn to obey. So I did. (Score 10 “spiritually maturing wife” points for the short girl – she finally learned to just roll with the prophetic unction without asking 50 zillion questions because she didn’t have all the details). 🙂

By the time I’d picked up both children and we were heading home, little splotches of raindrops had turned into an all-out steady rain – who knew those pretty white clouds held such amounts of water on a sunny day? And if tornadoes were featured on The Weather Channel last night and thunderstorms were in the forecast, they were definitely heading this way. Needless to say, I’m glad to be where I’m supposed to be right now – at home in the ark of safety and under the Shadow of the Almighty – just like my hubby told me to be. As the piano teacher said, “I respect the power of those storms; no problem rescheduling their lessons!” Likewise, we must respect the power of those in authority over us who are merely trying to save our lives from hurt, harm, danger, and destruction. I don’t have to see debris flying all around me to realize the need for protection. No more walking the “obedience tightrope” without a net, hoping to thumb my nose after the fact and say, “See? I knew nothing would happen.”

Things I’ve learned about obedience:

    • Delayed obedience = DISOBEDIENCE.
    • There’s no such thing as “creative obedience” or “intended but poorly executed obedience.” That’s an obscure, self-deceiving excuse.
    • We can call it any of these “other” things, but if it’s not obedience…it’s just not obedience! trying it my way first; testing out an option; eventually getting around to the original instruction; making a variation; proposing an alternative; being open to adaptation; allowing a modification; tolerating a glaring disparity or discrepancy; reworking; alteration; deviation; departure; distinction; difference…and the list goes on…

Call me apocalyptic (in light of the deluge and onslaught of current earthquakes, tsunamis, pestilence, plagues, and epidemics, do you really blame me?), but my prayer is that we hearken to the truth (and obey!)…no matter how the message is delivered. Pay attention, saints! It’s time out for foolishness in any form…selah.

“And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.”
(I Samuel 15:22)

 © Copyright 2014 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Family: A Beautiful Cacophony

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This weekend, I was delighted to host my parents – along with my sister (whom I hadn’t seen in ages) – for a Sunday afternoon visit. While I didn’t have a clear meal plan, I had a hankering to serve brunch – I’m always game for French toast with powdered sugar (yum!), and I felt I owed my sister the real deal since I’d sent her a picture on her birthday of the breakfast I’d fixed in her honor across the miles…and taken it upon myself to eat it for her, too. Anticipating that I wanted everything finished in advance so I could spend quality time with my guests, I lovingly prepared the French toast together with 3 dozen zucchini mini-quiches with fresh basil from our garden on Saturday – because what’s more fun that cooking eggs in a muffin tin?! 

The funny thing was that my mom, on the other hand, prepared chicken fettuccini alfredo and brought Hawaiian bread (yum!) and various salad toppings to go with my other freshly-harvested garden goodies in the salad I made for folks who wanted dinner foods. My hubby blew it all outta the water when he finally fixed the 9-hour slow-cooker pot roast with potatoes that he’d been talking about all week. 

It was absolutely hilarious to see my mom, the consummate event planner and ultimate “hostess with the mostest,” as she set our “party table” with the blue plastic tablecloth that she somehow produced out of thin air, replete with sparkly curled banners of festiveness for a centerpiece, accompanied by her handy-dandy pink travelling placemats, convenient matching paper plates (and salad bowls, of course), red plastic cups, and a full place setting of clear plastic cutlery. Voilà! She is usually determined to make a major production out of the most informal gathering…so we humor her and watch her gesticulations with amusement.

Like our assorted table setting, there was absolutely no coherent theme to the menu, but we all sat down together to graze and munch contentedly, starting with my fruit tray of navel oranges and grapes and ending with the brownies Mama had individually bagged and tied with a cheery ribbon for each family member. Seeing my semi-vegetarian and formerly vegan sister succumb to the tender pot roast (placed atop her salad) was therapeutic. Everyone let their hair down and savored the comforts of family and home (not just a place, but a state of mind, in my personal opinion).

My ears relished the ebb and flow of concurrent conversations punctuated by raucous laughter of not-so-distant shared memories. My sister and I ended the evening by trying on clothes Mama had picked up from an estate sale and deciding who looked thinner in which outfit – that yielded a ton of cackles. I surveyed the scene with the ironic consciousness that my family puts the “fun” in dysfunctional, which is pretty much the only normal I’ve known. I’ve often wondered why God put people who just wanted to be hassle-free and to enjoy undisturbed solitude smack dab in the middle of a family. As I grow in age, wisdom, and grace, I’m just thankful that He did it for me – I think I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Family is the gift that keeps on giving, and I’m appreciative for the entire package. I hope you’ll take a moment to give thanks for your own family (in whatever shape, form, or quantity it may appear), and let them know how much you love, value, and treasure them. Today is the perfect day to reach out and (re)connect…

“God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell…”
(Psalm 68:6a)

© Copyright 2014 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Real Love In Action IS Action

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I’m just sayin’…

Real love makes you pan fry fish on a weeknight at your spouse’s request.  Without grumbling.  Or rolling your eyes…at least not a lot.  After you’ve worked all day – and he has, too.  When you were excited that there was already a meal prepared during your massive amounts of weekend free time (NOT!) and waiting in the fridge.  So you were planning to kinda chill out after checking homework, facilitating bath time, reading bedtime stories, and tucking children in.  And you’re on Weight Watchers and you know that you don’t need to have fried food.  Even though you put some fish in the oven to bake it for yourself.  Because it’s healthier.  And you didn’t get to exercise today because you forgot about the lunch meeting with co-workers on your calendar during your workout time.  And you “treated” yourself to french fries then when you didn’t really need ‘em.

But you’re a southern chef (sort of) and naturally, you taste while you cook.  So at least you eat more baked fish than fried fish once it’s all cooked.  And you’re happy to serve your spouse with a smile. Because you’re grateful that God has blessed you with this particular spouse.  Even though it would’ve been a little (okay, maybe a lot) easier to make a healthier choice if your spouse had asked for baked fish.  But you love your spouse and you want them to have what they ask for.  With hot sauce, of course.  Did I mention that the baked fish was really good, but the fried fish was slammin’?

Real love in action.  Know what I’m sayin’?  Yeah, that also includes my workout tomorrow…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(I Corinthians 13:13, NIV) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Embracing Maturity

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This July was full of blogworthy events, but you didn’t hear from me because I’ve been honeymooning with my spouse!  While the little ones visited their grandparents in another state for an entire month, hubby and I took that opportunity to focus on each other (without reminding children to take their baths, clean their rooms, finish their veggies, or stop giggling and go to bed NOW!) and build our marriage.  Though we’ll enthusiastically celebrate our 10-year anniversary in a few months, it’s important for couples to regularly build in time for reflection, restoration, and rejuvenation.  You wouldn’t believe how routine can turn into a rut that wears you down!

On the eve of my children returning from their away-from-home adventures, I anticipate that they’ve grown a lot and learned many new things they’ll be eager to share.  I’m somewhat of a “helicopter parent,” so it took maturity on my part to let them go.  However, our job as parents is to train our children and prepare them to be functional and successful without us – that’s what a healthy growing up experience is all about.  My youngest child was homesick the first week, but I knew that exposure to a different environment would help her to be well-rounded (especially since she’ll transition from daycare to kindergarten over the next three weeks).  We don’t always get to choose our surroundings, so it’s good to learn how to adapt.   I know she has matured.  My oldest child seems to thrive when meeting new people, so I think he probably enjoyed not having me hovering over him; I’m learning to give him room to spread his wings (while still setting boundaries and parameters, of course!). 

They’re excited about seeing their redecorated room, and I look forward to seeing their beach-tanned faces and getting big hugs!  We all made it through summer vacation, and we have maturity to show for it.  We’ll give each other grace as we transition back into working as a unit – and with patience, we’ll get acclimated to the changes we’ve each undergone in one month.  We’re supposed to grow, develop, and mature – God didn’t call us to stay the same…in the spiritual realm or in the natural realm.  So don’t fight the situations that are causing you to stretch beyond your comfort zone!  God is maturing you for His purposes.  🙂

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

(II Peter 3:18)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Critter Corner

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I am sheepishly posting this entry almost a month after it happened because I was a bit embarrassed!  However, I must write in the spirit of transparency, truth, and disclosure, so that’s what I’m gonna keep on bringing…read on to enjoy the antics of my life! 🙂

Much to my chagrin, I was recently given a reminder of why it takes valleys to appreciate the few and far-between “mountaintop experiences.”  By no means do I consider myself an animal lover (I’d pick a low-maintenance goldfish over a 4-footed pet any day).  Yet, my hubby’s point of a cat’s value in situations like this now has additional validity; I’m warming up to the idea.  My chef hubby kicked off our first Cathcart “Welcome to Spring” event on Saturday, 3/20/10 with an absolutely fantastic weekend grill-out with gourmet turkey burgers for me and hot dogs for the children.  Yet, my euphoria was quickly shattered on the following Tuesday when my son said, “Mom, I see a mouse” as he peered onto the back porch.

Not believing him (though I shouldn’t have doubted Mr. SuperPeepers), I glanced onto the deck through the sliding glass door, and sure enough, there was a tiny four-footed creature staring right back at me.  Then it disappeared…right back under the grill cover.  I gasped; he must’ve wanted some turkey burger, too.  Flabbergasted, I hoped one of the big, hungry robins near the bird feeders would swoop down and take care of this critter in my yard.  It didn’t happen.  Trying to maintain a somewhat composed demeanor in front of my children, I said, “Maybe it’s a baby opossum” as I laughed weakly.  But my son assured me, “No, it really is a mouse.”  Outta the mouths of babes…  I had to agree; at least it was outside.  Now what?!?  My hubby was at a meeting, and once again, I had to hold down the fort (but I was grateful I didn’t have to pull a child’s tooth).  However, I digress…

Now if this had been a spider, I could’ve easily and bravely paralyzed it with contents from a nearby can of air freshener (yes, it really works – and it smells so fresh afterwards, too!).  But this critter had me stumped.  What to do as it scurried about my deck, silently taunting me?  I did what any thinking woman would do – I called a good sistahfriend!  Granted, she lives all the way on the other side of town, but having her commiserate with me until my hubby’s meeting finished sure helped me calm down!  Fast forwarding to my hero arriving home (after I called to ensure he’d make a detour to the home-improvement store for something to destroy my tiny antagonizer):  he arrived with the electronic plug-in repellents and glue traps.  I’m not sure which one did the job, but I haven’t seen one since (let us all breathe a collective sigh of relief)!  And last night’s cookout was pleasant (and yummy – healthy grilled chicken) – but, of course, I was inside while watching my squealing children gleefully run through the sprinkler with careless abandon.  🙂

We are growing closer to a wildlife preserve every day.  There’s gotta be a lesson in this somewhere…I am determined to learn it!!!

“Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.”

(Genesis 8:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Intrinsic Value

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Along with planting a vegetable (and fruit) garden, my wonderful hubby has decided to create a bird sanctuary…in our backyard.  It’s a rather noble endeavor, because our children seem to enjoy seeing wildlife up close and personal (with the exception of the opossum duly noted in my previous blog entry).  And surprisingly enough for this indoors-loving bookworm, so am I.

One birdfeeder obviously wasn’t enough, so he headed to the home improvement store to purchase 2 more seed feeders, plus a nectar feeder because he “wanted to see some hummingbirds.”  Isn’t it fantastic when we can appreciate God’s creation with childlike fascination?  “Indeed, he is a compassionate man,” I noted as he strategically placed the full feeders throughout the yard and secured them with hooks.  I would’ve casually tossed out some stale bread crusts, deemed it a community service event benefitting the environment, and called it a day. 

But he must be rubbing off on me – and leading by example – since I found myself talking to a tiny bird while waiting for the train yesterday.  I even offered it some seed if it could find its way to my house…but of course, it wouldn’t find my house, now would it?  As the bird flew away, I remembered that my signature solo wherever I sang as a teenager – many moons ago – was “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”  Then I experienced one of those epiphanic moments of understanding when everything converges all at once and in one place – and I remembered how truly special I am to God.  “He’s been thinking about me for all these years!” I gasped.  Have you considered that lately?  Take a moment to gratefully reflect on what He’s been saying to you this week…you may see what you’re really worth in a different light.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.”

(Luke 12:6-7, Amplified Bible)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Playin’ Possum: High Drama in the Suburbs

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It’s time for me to recount another colorful weekend, and I tell ya, this one still makes me laugh!  Please do not drink any beverages while reading this post…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A couple of weeks ago, our backyard fence was finally completed, a welcome prelude to the warmth of spring, family BBQs, and balmy evenings for my children playing safely outdoors.  Enter one intruder to interrupt this idyllic picture of placidity, and you have a formula for me to witness a murder in my own yard on Saturday before 9:00 a.m.  Well…almost.

Saturday morning, I was up earlier than I would’ve preferred, preparing to head out to a meeting and my wonderful hubby was getting ready to make pancakes for the children.  As he bustled about to complete his routine “morning security check” of our property, he spotted something in the backyard and started dressing quickly.  “Uh oh,” I thought to myself, knowing that my hubby is fiercely protective of his family.  “Whatever it is should prepare to meet its Maker.”   He pointed out an opossum near the fence and I froze; that thing was HUGE.  Next thing I knew, he was dressed in full lumberjack gear and heading toward the fence carrying a big shovel – the heavy one used for snow removal just a few weeks ago.  Equally repulsed and captivated by what was unfolding before my eyes, I braced for the impact, and heard the “whack!”  It wasn’t pretty.  The body stopped moving, but I saw the opossum’s long tail flopping about.  Did I really want to finish eating my high-fiber cereal after this?  I bravely munched on, staring through the sliding glass door as if I was watching HDTV.  I cringed at the next whack(s) – like who’s counting? – then saw my hubby retreating from the yard.  Was he victorious?

He wondered aloud, “Now what am I gonna do with that thing?”  I was wondering the same thing, because it was pretty creepy looking.  “Couldn’t you call Animal Control?” I weakly offered.  He grabbed his phone and dialed.  Yay, teamwork.  “Is it dead?” I asked hesitantly.  “No; I saw some babies peek their heads out, so I knew it was a mother.  I don’t think I have anything sharp enough to kill it, and it hissed at me.  Those things could have rabies.”  “Oh great,” I thought.  “Now we have to wait for the government to come dispose of this creature.”  After he hung up, he reported that it had to be dead before Animal Control would come pick it up, AND (adding insult to injury) we’d have to get it to the front curb for them to pick it up – yikes!  I don’t think that was a risk he was willing to take; I knew I wasn’t!  All I could picture was trying to shovel the fat opossum into a brown paper bag and tying it up in a plastic garbage bag.  That didn’t sound too safe.  I headed to the car en route to my meeting, confident that my hubby had the situation under control and the critter would be gone when I returned.

Five minutes into my drive, my cell phone rang.  “I injured it, but I didn’t kill it,” my hubby reported.  He informed me that the opossum had crawled back through its entry point, a breach in our neighbor’s fence.  “I cancelled the Animal Control call.”  I don’t think he spared its life because it was a mother; I think he knew he was outmatched without the proper tool to remove the animal swiftly and humanely.  And Lord knows what we’d have done with motherless opossum babies scattered about.  At least he reinforced the weak part of our neighbor’s fence with more wood, because my eyes were as big as saucers, visualizing what would happen if the incapacitated party came back for restitution.  I’m almost certain that I heard the melodic strains of “Circle of Life” from The Lion King. 

Did I mention how wonderful my hubby is?  I can’t imagine how this story would’ve ended if I’d been the party responsible for handling the opossum incident.  I don’t even want to think about it.  I’ve finally summoned my SuperMommy powers so I can kill spiders by myself in one fell swoop – most of them, anyway.  I dare not consider what could’ve been in the backyard if we didn’t have that fence; I don’t think I’m ready to handle animals bigger than that.  Really.

Honestly, before this unfortunate turn of events, the only interaction I’d had with opossums was seeing them as road rugs.  I don’t recall having the privilege of a face-to-face encounter with one.  And I wasn’t at all thrilled to think one (or more) might be roaming around my backyard or wiggling under my deck.  But from this experience (combined with a bit of web research), I’ve learned that an opossum is a marsupial (that means it has a pouch – like a kangaroo) and carries its young.  Sooooo…what is the meaning in all of this?  I hadn’t thought about a spiritual message on Saturday between laughing and squirming, but as I reflect, perhaps it was just a simple reminder from nature that God is always watching, covering, protecting and guiding us.  Just as we watch out for our children, animals care for their young offspring…and God cares for us. 

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

(Psalm 91:1)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart