motherhood

Mothering is an Action Word

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Guess what?  The baby robins have hatched!  After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning.  Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with.  Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides.  This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action.  The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error.  We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering. 

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences!  Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique.  I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold.  I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers.  Just days away from her 5th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes.  She is growing up – and where did the time go?!  Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂  Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.  

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day.  Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day!  May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy.  Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Bird’s Eye View of My Environment

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On what is celebrated as Earth Day, I suppose it’s fitting to reflect on the nature preserve that my yard has become…duck eggs and robins’ nests and ‘possums – oh my!  But bugs and inchworms, too, Lord?

Just when I thought Spring wouldn’t bring anything else into my yard, I have been proven wrong – over and over and over again!  Apparently, the animal world has telegraphed something about my hubby being the Jack Hanna of Charlotte, because we’ve had a robin building a nest atop the corner post of our front porch for the past couple of weeks.  It was comical and almost ironic to arrive home from vacation to see the nest-building material strewn across the porch and hanging baskets – maybe we’re hosting a bird timeshare, unbeknownst to us?

Now, the small, blue eggs are laid and the mother robin greets us with that big ol’ lidless bird eye every time we’re on our porch.  So I do the only proper thing – I say “good morning” to her as she stares at me and guards the nest from her perch.  She doesn’t even fly away anymore as we open the front door to leave for school and work each day.  Maybe we’re getting the benefits of a pet – I dunno.

As if that weren’t enough, my hubby recently sent me an e-mail entitled “guess who’s in the yard today?”  I earnestly prayed it wasn’t another opossum.  My prayer was granted; as I opened the attachment, I saw two ducks in the photo.  Whew!  What I didn’t know was that they’d carefully and intentionally selected our yard as the site to lay and hatch their eggs…I presume they like rosebushes near the ground and underneath children’s bedroom windows.  I fully expect to see fuzzy baby ducks waddling around pretty soon.

As I watch my hubby’s flurry of activity around the yard to make it habitable and enjoyable for his family, I visualize Jesus with a bird balancing on His index finger and remember that He created all this stuff, so I may as well get with the program and appreciate it. 🙂  May we reverence the Creator more than the creation… 

“And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.”

(Genesis 2:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Life’s Little Joys

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My place as Kayren Cathcart, MD (Mommy Doctor) has been forever inscribed and securely etched in the annals of history.  It’s all part of the job description (wait a minute – what job description?!).  After my children spent their week of Spring Break with my mother (enjoying all the delights that accompany being spoiled by grandma), what was the first thing my son showed me?  Yep – you guessed it – his loose tooth – top front left. I didn’t even know it was loose when I dropped him off at grandma’s!

For some reason, he got a little jittery when I said, “Let’s get the cotton and pull it now before we get back on the road.”  But since he’d brought it to my attention, I was compelled to act.  Plus, it looked like it was hanging on by a single sinew.  I had to use a different angle from the one I’d used for the “easy” bottom teeth, but I finally gripped it with the cotton and there was minimal blood, though maximum tears.  Perhaps this is just preparing me for my daughter to start losing her teeth.  Oh great – I guess we’ll see in about another year…or less.  Children do grow so quickly! 

Both children came home with scraped knees after their visit to grandma’s (with no “helicopter mother” hovering to thwart impending danger), but my hubby and I were quite well-rested after our “child-free” vacation week – and I think that the children had a blast, too.  As much as my mom keeps alluding to how their visit must’ve been a “fountain of youth,” I think she may have been happiest of all.  The love of family is a priceless gift.

“Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.

Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit.”

(Job 10:11-12)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Critter Corner

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I am sheepishly posting this entry almost a month after it happened because I was a bit embarrassed!  However, I must write in the spirit of transparency, truth, and disclosure, so that’s what I’m gonna keep on bringing…read on to enjoy the antics of my life! 🙂

Much to my chagrin, I was recently given a reminder of why it takes valleys to appreciate the few and far-between “mountaintop experiences.”  By no means do I consider myself an animal lover (I’d pick a low-maintenance goldfish over a 4-footed pet any day).  Yet, my hubby’s point of a cat’s value in situations like this now has additional validity; I’m warming up to the idea.  My chef hubby kicked off our first Cathcart “Welcome to Spring” event on Saturday, 3/20/10 with an absolutely fantastic weekend grill-out with gourmet turkey burgers for me and hot dogs for the children.  Yet, my euphoria was quickly shattered on the following Tuesday when my son said, “Mom, I see a mouse” as he peered onto the back porch.

Not believing him (though I shouldn’t have doubted Mr. SuperPeepers), I glanced onto the deck through the sliding glass door, and sure enough, there was a tiny four-footed creature staring right back at me.  Then it disappeared…right back under the grill cover.  I gasped; he must’ve wanted some turkey burger, too.  Flabbergasted, I hoped one of the big, hungry robins near the bird feeders would swoop down and take care of this critter in my yard.  It didn’t happen.  Trying to maintain a somewhat composed demeanor in front of my children, I said, “Maybe it’s a baby opossum” as I laughed weakly.  But my son assured me, “No, it really is a mouse.”  Outta the mouths of babes…  I had to agree; at least it was outside.  Now what?!?  My hubby was at a meeting, and once again, I had to hold down the fort (but I was grateful I didn’t have to pull a child’s tooth).  However, I digress…

Now if this had been a spider, I could’ve easily and bravely paralyzed it with contents from a nearby can of air freshener (yes, it really works – and it smells so fresh afterwards, too!).  But this critter had me stumped.  What to do as it scurried about my deck, silently taunting me?  I did what any thinking woman would do – I called a good sistahfriend!  Granted, she lives all the way on the other side of town, but having her commiserate with me until my hubby’s meeting finished sure helped me calm down!  Fast forwarding to my hero arriving home (after I called to ensure he’d make a detour to the home-improvement store for something to destroy my tiny antagonizer):  he arrived with the electronic plug-in repellents and glue traps.  I’m not sure which one did the job, but I haven’t seen one since (let us all breathe a collective sigh of relief)!  And last night’s cookout was pleasant (and yummy – healthy grilled chicken) – but, of course, I was inside while watching my squealing children gleefully run through the sprinkler with careless abandon.  🙂

We are growing closer to a wildlife preserve every day.  There’s gotta be a lesson in this somewhere…I am determined to learn it!!!

“Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.”

(Genesis 8:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Intrinsic Value

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Along with planting a vegetable (and fruit) garden, my wonderful hubby has decided to create a bird sanctuary…in our backyard.  It’s a rather noble endeavor, because our children seem to enjoy seeing wildlife up close and personal (with the exception of the opossum duly noted in my previous blog entry).  And surprisingly enough for this indoors-loving bookworm, so am I.

One birdfeeder obviously wasn’t enough, so he headed to the home improvement store to purchase 2 more seed feeders, plus a nectar feeder because he “wanted to see some hummingbirds.”  Isn’t it fantastic when we can appreciate God’s creation with childlike fascination?  “Indeed, he is a compassionate man,” I noted as he strategically placed the full feeders throughout the yard and secured them with hooks.  I would’ve casually tossed out some stale bread crusts, deemed it a community service event benefitting the environment, and called it a day. 

But he must be rubbing off on me – and leading by example – since I found myself talking to a tiny bird while waiting for the train yesterday.  I even offered it some seed if it could find its way to my house…but of course, it wouldn’t find my house, now would it?  As the bird flew away, I remembered that my signature solo wherever I sang as a teenager – many moons ago – was “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”  Then I experienced one of those epiphanic moments of understanding when everything converges all at once and in one place – and I remembered how truly special I am to God.  “He’s been thinking about me for all these years!” I gasped.  Have you considered that lately?  Take a moment to gratefully reflect on what He’s been saying to you this week…you may see what you’re really worth in a different light.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.”

(Luke 12:6-7, Amplified Bible)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Gravity Works in My Favor

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For the first time in a VERY long time, the scale is actually reading about 10 pounds less…with me standing on it.  Who would’ve thought I’d actually see results this time?  Not me – at first.  Then I kept checking the scale week after week, and it was going down – a pound here, a pound there.  I was hesitant to believe it – and I definitely wasn’t gonna write about it in case I was just dreaming and someone had to shake me back to reality and say, “No honey, you’re still as heavy as you were – wake up!” 

At the beginning of the year, a good friend of mine told me she wanted to lose 40 pounds by her birthday in July.  It sounded rather impossible for me to apply her enthusiasm to my own need to lose the same amount – as my doctor had been gently nudging me to do (then firmly insisting) for the past few years.  Though I wasn’t convinced it could work for me this time, she chirped, “It breaks down to about 2 pounds a week” and I decided that was considerably more manageable to attack than 40 pounds in one fell swoop.  Plus, she said I’d inspired her to be more healthy (imagine that!), so because I wanted to be supportive of her efforts, I agreed to be her accountability partner as we built healthier habits into our daily lifestyles.

She has lost over 15 pounds and is well on her way to reaching her goal.  I’ve lost about 10 pounds (though I was really hoping more than I was believing I’d lose any weight at all), my knees don’t hurt anymore, and I’m feeling ready to run around in the yard with my children when the warm weather arrives.  It’s remarkable how changing your perspective can improve your quality of life!

I didn’t get liposuction (who has money laying around for that these days? and I certainly don’t want anyone carving on me like a Thanksgiving turkey), I didn’t get scammed and subsequently disappointed by the newest “miraculous fat melting pill/powder/beverage fad” (to take my money without delivering results), I haven’t starved myself (though I’m convinced that camels really can live off their humps, and I do have plenty of calories stored up), I haven’t missed any meals (just made the ones I eat healthier and more proportionate), and I have added a little exercise to my week (there’s always room for improvement).  Good ol’ fashioned discipline.  Taking in fewer calories than I burn off.  Not eating everything that comes across my path and isn’t nailed down.  I had to change my mind first – then my body followed.

Can you tell how incredulous I am about the whole thing?  It’s nothing short of amazing, in my opinion.  Yet, with the right input, you can have favorable results.  Since I’d been putting in junk, I was getting excess calories.  When I started putting in more fruit, veggies, and water – voila! – the excess pounds begin to melt away.  Not only am I responsible for taking thoughtful stewardship of my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, I am also responsible for setting a godly example for others – including my children.  My lifestyle must witness louder than my words.  Finally, my convictions are translating into action and change.  And better health is just one of many benefits I’m reaping.

It all adds up…to less.  I am grateful that God is at work in my life.  Can you hear the chisels and jackhammers?

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Humbly Clothed in Strength and Honor

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In spite of all my incessant ranting, raving, cajoling, and coaxing, “Take your baths…put your laundry in the hamper…brush your teeth…put Vaseline on your lips…turn the light out!” my children opened their precious hearts to unexpectedly bless me this evening.

As my daughter oohed and aahed over the results of yesterday’s $15 mani/pedi from the local beauty school, she summoned her brother to look at the fancy little design adorning my usually plain nails.  He liked them, too.  I felt special to be the center of their attention at the same time!  Then I glanced down at my legs and realized how ashy they were.  Like a broken record, I’m always reminding the children to put lotion on their legs and arms, and here I was able to scratch my name into my skin with a fingernail.  I sheepishly acknowledged that Mommy needed some lotion.

My son chirped, “I’ll put some on you, Mommy!”  Not to be outdone, my daughter ran to get the lotion bottle first and she started working on one leg.  I melted, reminiscing on the times I’d put lotion on their legs, too numerous to count.  My son went to get another bottle of lotion and started applying it to my feet.  If that wasn’t a modern day foot-washing or Alabaster Box moment, I don’t know what is!  It made the energy and effort put into serving God’s smallest people all the more worth it.  They beamed as they saw the smile spread across my face while they served with gladness.  Overwhelmed, I could see that they were following my example.  And their little warm hands were every bit as nice as the nail tech’s – with an extra dollop of love and a splash of affection added.  🙂

Even in light of my “fancy nails,” (which I’m enjoying as a fabulous departure from the ordinary), I believe that strength and honor are the most important things I can wear in the presence of my children.  By their actions, they rose up and called me blessed.  This moment combined with the faint trace of a rainbow I glimpsed this afternoon to create the closing of an utterly beautiful day.  I received it as a miracle.

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

(Proverbs 31:25-28)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

To Tell the Tooth

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“Mom, I’m ready for this tooth to come out!  Can you pull it, please?”  Ugh!  I was so proud that Friday night’s gourmet grilled cheese dinner with carrot sticks and celery spears was finished, both children were bathed, and things were going smoothly until my reverie was interrupted by reality.  Why do I always have to be the one to pull this child’s loose tooth?  I had a flashback to the last time this happened during our tightly-orchestrated morning routine.  I survived – actually with flying colors; we even stayed on schedule!  It reminded me that mothers can do anything and miracles still happen every day. 

This time I tried a little psychology to postpone the inevitable.  “Did you ask Mr. Tooth if he’s ready to come out?”  Uh huh.  (Of course he’d say that; I’d better try something else).  “What did he say?”  He said ‘yes.’  “Well, I didn’t hear him say anything; are you sure?”  Yes!  Note to self: Rationalization doesn’t work real well with almost-seven year-olds.

So I hunkered down and summoned the strength that only God can give (because we all know there’s no such thing as the “tooth fairy” – no matter what they may have told you…sorry to burst any bubbles here).  Wielding the magnifying mirror so my son could witness being the science project of the hour, I got some spare cotton from a bottle of vitamins, folded it over, and told him to count to three.  On cue, out came the tiny baby tooth.  The cotton plugged the fresh red hole.  My son was beaming.  I guess I’m a heroine, and I’ve just earned an honorary DDS.  All is well.  God is gracious and kind.  And Daddy will be home soon…

“For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.”

(Proverbs 8:7)

 My Son’s Bedtime Prayer Tonight:

“Dear God, thank You for my tooth that came out, and for the tooth that will grow back…”  That just about sums it up.  Whenever something is taken away, something else – often better, stronger, and permanent – is added.  May we all find comfort in the tooth of this matter…uh, I mean truth.  🙂

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Mother’s Sacrifice…and Reward

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Like I do just about every 2 weeks, I’m sitting at the local beauty school waiting for my very long and thick-haired daughter to get her as-yet chemically untreated natural mane of crowning glory washed, conditioned, and braided by a lady with a little more patience and a lot more skill than me to do so.  The significant difference is that instead of reading and watching the clock between bouts of entertaining her for 4-5 hours while she gets coiffed, tonight I am springing an extra $8 to get pampered myself.  Granted, I am well able to wash and roller set my own hair (as I generally do between relaxers), but today I decided I’d enjoy the treat.  Wow – what have I been missing?!?  My scalp is way happy right about now as I sit under the dryer conditioning and waiting for my stylist to finish coloring someone else’s tresses.

As mothers, we often forget to allow ourselves time to be rewarded for the many sacrifices we make on a daily basis.  But when we remember, it really helps us to keep our serving and caring for others in perspective.  All giving without being replenished and restored leads to imbalance – honey, don’t I know it!!!  Yet, an occasional splurge (within reason, of course *wink, wink*) doesn’t hurt.  As a matter of fact, it helps.  When we feel relaxed, appreciated, and renewed, there’s no end to the benefits our families reap.  On the flip side, we all know what pent-up resentment coupled with overtiredness and frazzled feelings lead to…and that untimely explosion ain’t pretty!

So do yourself a favor and have that cup of coffee made by someone else; take an extra 10 minutes driving home to enjoy some different scenery; lock the door and luxuriate in that monthly (or quarterly) bubble bath.  Without guilt.  Because you’ve earned it.  If your family can attest to your sacrifices (and most of them speak for themselves), then you more than owe it to yourself to enjoy a reward from time to time.

Who knows?  Next time, I may even add on the $6 manicure.  LOL 🙂

  © Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

”She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”

(Proverbs 31:27-29)