obedience

What Am I Allowing God to Press OUT of Me?

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the first week…be honest as you challenge yourself to answer the title question. 

Where to begin?!  Oh so many issues come to mind that God is dealing with me about, but perhaps they are just surface symptoms of a deeper root cause…

Thinking I have options when I really do not.  Then I put things off.  Then weeks, months, years later, they’re still undone.  Not intending to procrastinate, but getting easily distracted from the task at hand…the list goes on and on.

What am I allowing God to press out of me?  Not putting Christ first with my time.  It’s not that I’m not working for Him – because I am.  I believe He’s quite pleased that I take my responsibility of having a husband and two children seriously, because my first ministry is home.  I believe He is honored that I am actively working my ministry at church, and I’m engaged with the Body of Christ and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters.  Outside of home and church, I intentionally live my life in a way that my witness speaks (without words) that I have a relationship with Jesus.  I want people to see a woman of integrity who doesn’t put herself in questionable or “gray” situations.  I make myself available to encourage others in their walk with Christ.  So where am I missing the mark?

Is He first, primary, chief, initial, principal, foremost, top?  Does He get the daily Quiet Time with me He so desires with me daily?  Sadly, no.  I’m completely inconsistent with it.  My mouth says, “Lord, I love You!”  But looking at the way my day is spent doesn’t always include dedicated time in the Word or being quiet long enough to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.  Which inevitably leads to me taking on too many tasks, doing things first that aren’t the highest priority, and being disorganized or just downright out of order.  All because I didn’t hear – then heed – His instructions for that day.

Meditating on His Word in the car is good.  I believe He’s glad I do that.  But it’s like living on appetizers; at some point, you’re going to need nourishment from a balanced meal.  So I’ve been snacking on snippets of sermons during my commute instead of taking time to dig into His Word for myself.  Like the Good Shepherd that He is, He has continued to feed me.  But I’m mature enough to be able to get some meat for myself instead of relying on fajita skewers someone else has prepared.

And so the press comes to correct me.  Repeatedly.  Since this is something I’ve dealt with for years, maybe He wants to remove it completely instead of watching me continue to nurse a wound that scabs over, then I hide it under clothing instead of allowing it to heal completely – from His expert touch.  So I guess that’s me presumptuously thinking I know better than God for my life.  Is that ridiculous?  Extremely.  Does that make me disobedient?  Yes.  Am I repentant?  Absolutely.  Will I do something different this week?  I already have – starting now.  Because “not being a morning person” is neither a valid, legitimate, nor acceptable excuse for a soldier in the army of the Lord not reporting to get the day’s marching orders.

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.”

(Philippians 3:14-15)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Soul Hunger: What Are You Starving For?

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Nearly two years ago,  I was terrified when my Pastor assigned me a specific song to learn.  I didn’t really have a hunger for holiness; I guess I figured if I got in the vicinity of holiness most of the time, I was doing pretty good.  But that wasn’t God’s standard.  Holiness is God’s standard.  So my Pastor handed me a CD about a month ago and asked me to call him for my assignment after I’d listened to it.  I should’ve expected it, but I was caught off guard.  As I popped the CD in while driving home from church, it took me about 40 seconds to realize, “Hey, this is the same song that I’d been running from two years ago.”  Obviously, I didn’t run fast enough.  Clearly, nobody can outrun God or His will.  So what’s the title of the song that caused me to tremble when I thought about me having to sing it?  “Hunger for Holiness” popularized by Helen Baylor.  Who knows – if I’d taken the assignment seriously when he FIRST gave it to me, maybe I wouldn’t need Weight Watchers…

I had to swallow my fear of “what next?” in order to tackle this assignment with the right mindset and attitude.  Because as much as it might bless others, I know that I will also be blessed when I obey the Lord.  God wants me to be able to minister every song I sing with conviction – which means I first have to experience the song before I can ever convince someone else to become a partaker of its message.  I hadn’t denied my flesh any food it wanted in quite some time.  So my course of preparation to minister this song effectively entailed feeling hunger.  Because I hadn’t allowed myself to be hungry in a while.  My hips are a witness…

So regardless of the day’s circumstances (which included a church gathering that ended with a nice buffet lunch), I consecrated myself to God and asked Him to birth the truth of this song in my spirit.  And He was faithful to fulfill my request because it was in line with His will!  He kept me so safe under the shadow of His wing that I didn’t even consider reneging on my vow while doing the weekly grocery shopping or when a friend came over to the house and made dinner for my entire family.  Because it’s not really about food at all; it’s about my relationship with Him, and whether I’m putting Him first – before anything else I want.

I procrastinated learning that song for weeks, months, and years.  And now I’m at the place of repentance.   In spite of the fact that I’m just a vessel created for HIS glory, in essence, I had told the Master, “You’ll have to wait until I’m comfortable and ready to sing this song, even if You have a plan to use it to touch someone’s life in a powerful way.”  How presumptuous of me – the vessel – to tell the Master Potter, “You should make me into this, and this is how I think You should use me, Lord!”

I diligently practiced all week.  So slothfulness was part of my procrastination?  Yeah.  Cute, right?  NOT!  Unintentionally, I’d become complacent about songs I already knew and had sung before.  This time was different.  I made intentional choices to be holy this week, to walk worthy of the calling of Christ on my life.  Lo and behold, the night before ministering, the song sounded better than it had all week.  I was astounded because the music track was a little high for my range.  But since it wasn’t about my personal comfort level to begin with, when I got all that flesh outta the way, God stepped in and did the miraculous – He touched my voice.  After all, He’s more concerned with how we yield to His process than whether we achieve our own desired outcomes.  So I take no credit whatsoever – He sang and ministered through me.  And I’m grateful that He chose me – because He didn’t have to give me another opportunity to complete the assignment.

What do you hungrily crave?  Passionately desire?  Wistfully long for?  Is it Christ?  The glib initial response is, “Of course!”  But check your actions and heart motives to see if that’s really the case.  You might be surprised at what appetite you’ve really been feeding.

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

(Matthew 5:6)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Which Way, Lord?

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Hint:  Ask God first before making a major decision.  You’ll be glad you did…

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”

(Deuteronomy 30:19)

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”

(Proverbs 3:5-7) 

 

“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:”

(Proverbs 6:23)

“He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth.”

(Proverbs 10:17)

“Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”

(Matthew 7:14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Chronicles of a Backward Glance: The Power of Suggestion

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Yes y’all, I’m tellin’ it ALL about what I’ve learned.  Why?  Prayerfully, my missteps will prevent someone else from taking the same detour from God’s will.  I encourage you to stay the course He has charted for your life…

The funny thing – or perhaps more accurately, the ironic thing – about me getting into that home-based business last year?  I’d done it before and seen that it wasn’t the best fit for me and my family.  I knew it wouldn’t cause me to “get rich quick” – but I still secretly hoped it would.  I knew it would take more time, energy, and effort than I currently had available – but I foolishly wanted to try anyway.  I saw the “Bridge Out Ahead” signs – but I valiantly forged ahead (maybe I absurdly thought I’d sprout wings to keep me from busting my backside).

I even called myself praying and asking God what His will was for me concerning entering this venture.  My biggest mistake:  I didn’t wait to hear His response!  I asked, then while waiting for His answer, someone called for my decision…and I leaped before I looked closely enough.  I thought, “THIS time will be different!  I can do it now.”  I allowed someone else to influence my decision instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct me.  I could’ve said, “I’ll get back to you.”  But I didn’t.  There was an (unseen by me) undetected desire to gamble, get something-for-nothing, get a hook-up, see a huge return on my small investment…and I ended up paying for that – because the house always wins – the system is intentionally set up that way, folks!!!

I initially reasoned, “It doesn’t cost that much – it’s the equivalent of a couple of lunches!”  Well, in the end, I discovered that my peace of mind and having a settled, undisturbed spirit was more priceless than that “small” initial activation fee.  At the beginning of the year, I was starting to get rid of my household clutter, but in the end, getting products in the mail gave me more reason to accumulate stuff.  Do I wish my husband had told me, “No sweetie, you can’t do this” from the beginning?  Yes.  But would I have gained the depth of appreciation for this lesson if I hadn’t gone through the process?  Probably not.  I really don’t wanna go down this wearisome path again.  Trying to do things in my own strength was like running on a hamster wheel and being unable to stop.

The person who invited me to the opportunity was not the problem; she is a great person who I enjoy being around.  The problem was that I allowed myself to be distracted from God’s original, primary assignment for me in that season by an external suggestion.  I lost focus, and it cost me.  But I am grateful to know what was really in my heart, because when I stopped denying the ugly truth, God was able to remove those impure desires so I could agree with His will for my life.  And so I run on…

“Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.”

(Psalm 86:11)

 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

(Hebrews 4:12)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Target Acquired: Aiming at the Wrong Goal

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Last year, I deliberately chose to get into a home-based business with the stated purpose of bringing in a little extra cash for my family.   My personal goal was to make a minimum purchase once a quarter to maintain active status and be available to supply products when people requested them.  Let the website do the majority of the work – I wasn’t going to hassle anybody.  I had a pretty laissez-faire attitude about the whole thing – no pressure, no stress, have fun.  Little did I know that my underlying desire was to prove that I could juggle more balls than I already had flying through the air.  Was I ever in for a lesson – God will show us what’s really in our hearts!

When the “carrots” of recognition and potential to increase my earnings were dangled in front of me, I started chasing them – hard.  I didn’t realize I was that competitive, because that was not the purpose I initially expressed before undertaking this venture.  When I saw my level of consistency recognized while I wasn’t even trying to gain acknowledgement or accolades, I began to think, “What could I accomplish if I actually put some concentrated effort into this thing?  I can really make it work for me!”  And the flesh took off…but in the process, I allowed someone else’s standard to become my own.  It became impossible for me to maintain.  And I had to admit that I wasn’t truly trusting God to be my Source.  I was trying to be my own waymaker…a major no-no!  By extricating myself from the business by the end of the year (when I finally saw the light of my true, ugly, impure motives), I wasn’t admitting defeat – I was confessing that I’d started out on a faulty premise and built on a shaky foundation.  Humbling?  Yes.  Less costly than continuing to charge until I ran smack into the wall?  Thank the Lord, yes.

Ask yourself, “Did someone else set this goal for me?”  If so, that makes for ill-constructed aspirations.  You’ll reach the finish line and you won’t even appreciate or enjoy the prize – because it’s what someone else wanted you to want.  Selah.

Are you currently championing something you don’t really believe in?  It’s not too late to ask God to redirect your trajectory…

“God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.”

(II Samuel 22:33)

“Can a man be profitable unto God, as he that is wise may be profitable unto himself?

Is it any pleasure to the Almighty, that thou art righteous? or is it gain to him, that thou makest thy ways perfect?”

(Job 22:2-3)

“As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.”

(Ecclesiastes 11:5)

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19)

“Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.”

(Acts 2:28)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The True Cost of Accuracy: Are You On-Point?

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It’s time to file taxes again!  Don’t I know it?  Last night, I was digging through my old calendar, post-its, receipts, online account statements, and hand-written chicken scratch notes to find documentation for my tax preparer related to a home-based beauty business I’d jumped into last year (without waiting to hear God’s answer of whether it was time to jump in or not).  It’s great product, great people, and great earning potential.  So what was my problem with making the business work for me?  Time, energy, and effort required…vs. the amount I had available of all those resources.  I grossly underestimated the quantity of each that it would take for me to be successful.  Through trial and error, I’ve learned that no amount of desire or enthusiasm can make up for hard work.

Frankly, last night’s activities were tiresome…and I became more tired as I looked at my overloaded 2010 calendar and saw how much I’d been ripping and running in the crux of my mad entrepreneurial dash last year.  I think my hubby had compassion on me as I peered into the computer screen, longing to be finished when the end was nowhere in sight.  I’m not a “numbers person” to begin with, so having to capture this numerical data was already taking me outta my comfort zone.  I’m so used to “eyeballing” something or “rounding up” to estimate a total.  I’ve “eyeballed” my food portions, only to discover that what I thought was 1 cup of cereal was actually closer to 2 cups – oh the horror of that discovery!  I’ve also rounded the estimated price of each item on my grocery list to the nearest dollar so I have an idea of what I’m going to spend on groceries each week.  It’s helpful, but not completely precise.  Both of those scenarios have proven to yield less than accurate results for me.  So why do I keep relying on those methods?  Because it’s easy – the path of least resistance.  But comfort and complacency are enemies of lasting change.

It will always cost more later when you take shortcuts now.  I wanted to report my tax information with honesty and integrity (i.e., not artificially inflating or misrepresenting anything) because that’s part of my Christian witness.  When my tax preparer told me the preliminary numbers I submitted last week looked a little low, she asked me to revisit my mileage log, the training I’d participated in, etc. and confirm the accuracy of my figures.  So back I went to the piles of stuff (no, I didn’t even have it in a shoebox).  Mind you, the standard evening household activities still needed to be done – checking homework, corralling young bathers, making lunches, laying out clothes for the next day, etc.  Since I had a time deadline to meet for turning in the tax info, I felt the pressure beginning to mount.  Yet, because I didn’t stay diligent throughout the year and keep my records in a more organized manner, it cost me extra time to assemble the required information – weeknight time I’d planned to use in a different way.  The final result of my labor was a higher tax returnw(hich was definitely a positive aspect that made it worth the investment of time), but did I have to wait and gather everything at the last minute?  No!  Through this tedious experience, I have learned a valuable lesson – one that I hope not to repeat in the same way again!  Ask God to show you where He wants you to be on-point today…

“Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts.

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:”

(Isaiah 28:9-10)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fix It Up Anyway: The Illusion of “As Is”

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This one’s short, sweet, and to the point…

While waiting for the train yesterday, I was struck by the realization that most folks don’t want to change.  Why?  Because we don’t feel like it.  Or we don’t think we need to.  We’re think we’re fine just the way we are.  In the spirit of full disclosure, you should know that I happen to be one of those change-resistant people.  I am maturing as I begin to appreciate the integral, intrinsic, and essential role of change in my personal growth. 

When you buy something, like a car – even if it has a tag on it that reads “For Sale AS IS” – don’t you have a right to fix it up?  Of course you do!  So why do we attempt to block God’s right to change our hearts?  Sure, He receives us “as is,” but He wants to work on us to improve our value.  He purchased us with the costly blood of His only Son, Jesus.  Therefore, if He wants to strip the old paint of emotional baggage from us or bang some dents out of our flawed character, we must allow Him access to do so.

As Christians, our relationship with Christ is not static, but it is dynamic and ever-changing.  Which means that, as He fixes us up for His glory, we have to change.  Daily.  What will you allow God to change in you today?

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

(I Corinthians 6:19-20)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Veggie Sausage Revelation: Are You Hot, Cold, or Lukewarm?

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So what exactly does me choosing veggie sausage have to do with obedience?  Nothing and absolutely everything – all at the same time.  I say “nothing” because, in the big scheme of the cosmos, choosing veggie sausage isn’t really that big of a deal (turkey sausage ain’t half bad, right?).  Yet, I say “absolutely everything” because, in light of eternity, veggie sausage represents (for me) obedience to God and the process it takes to do so.  Because it’s not a one-time decision; it’s the start of a commitment to continue doing the right thing (lower cholesterol), the healthier thing (less fat), the better thing (even if other family members choose meat)…the obedient thing.  That’s the bottom line.  Indulge me for a moment as I elaborate… 

In the past, I’d be presented with two choices (obedience to God vs. what I wanted to do) – and they were usually diametrically opposed.  Instead of automatically relying on the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth, sometimes, I’d make my decision by mentally flipping a coin; other times, I’d try to do the right thing; and occasionally, I’d create a hybrid blend of the two (read: hot mess – actually, lukewarm and spewed out).  Needless to say, the hybrid doesn’t yield consistent results because it takes some properties from both sides of the fence…and we know what happens when we straddle the fence, now don’t we?!

So what’s your veggie sausage?  That decision you’ve been skipping over and postponing for far too long?  The linchpin that will lead to you getting back on track in other areas of your life?  Yeah, that one.  God wants you to make the decision as He leads, and walk in obedience to His will.  Can veggie sausage do all that?  Yes, my friend, all that and more…

“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”

(Revelation 3:15-16) 

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Urgency and Immediacy: And So It Goes

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This unexpected news was so impactful that I’m deferring my much-awaited homemade taco salad (and ignoring my growling stomach) after just working out for 45 minutes – because I need to capture these thoughts while they’re fresh.

Amazing.  The company I utilized in 2006 to self-publish my first inspirational daily devotional has closed as of Friday, January 28, 2011.  But they just sent an e-mail notification to their authors today – Tuesday, February 1, 2011.  I know nothing lasts forever, but what to do with all of my grandiose ideas for sequels and series?  I guess that’s a signal for “Plan B.”  Or else I procrastinated and missed it on follow-through with “Plan A.”  Or a bit of both.  Yet another lesson to underscore the importance of moving when God says move. 

A little background:  I pass by the publisher’s building twice a day since it’s in my neighborhood.  Recently, I’d been peering more intently at the sign, but I was content to see the sign still up, so I thought things were “normal.”  Boy, was I ever wrong.  Sometimes the way things appear on the outside are in stark contrast to what’s really happening inside.  Without that nudge from the Holy Spirit, I might’ve been very surprised to find out this business was closing – they were great people to work with, and they delivered excellent customer service in a timely manner.  Now (in retrospect – as they say, hindsight is 20/20), I realize that God was preparing me for (yet another) transition – yes, the ubiquitous and unannounced change that is so prevalent these days.  For whatever reason, they are now closed and I’ll need to find another publisher to work with. 

Nevertheless, there are options God’s already been showing me, so I have peace – because He wants His Word to be shared, and He will always open doors for that to happen.  The good news:  I will be able to get my files, so the book can be reproduced in its printed form when I choose another publisher to work with.  The funny thing – at least 2 weeks ago, God spoke to my heart about making the book available as an e-book.  Yes, online.  Yes, at no cost.  So, I must obey…and today’s occurrence is a push over the edge of the cliff to make sure I do that.  There must be someone waiting for the message He gave me in that book, so it’s gotta be disseminated…even if it’s in spite of me.

I understand that the only stable, reliable, and dependable constant in this economy is Christ.  I also realize that sometimes you don’t get a chance to adjust your tie before escaping a flash mob.  To put it another way: what good is it to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic when it’s definitely going down?  My point?  Yes, I have one:  things can change so quickly.  Pay attention to the cues around you in this season.  Just scan the headlines for current events around the globe and you’ll have to agree:  it’s important to be aligned with God’s will and His timetable – now.  Really?  Yes, seriously – NOW!

“Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.”

(Hebrews 4:7)

“He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

(Revelation 22:20)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Deafening Silence: Cutting Through the Clutter of Noise

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“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

– Epictetus, philosopher 

Now that things are quieting down in my atmosphere, I realize how much turmoil I’d been stirring up in my own life just by being involved in – and caught up in – idle activity.  Classic case of the good thing vs. the God thing.  Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it.  I’m not called to be anyone’s savior; I must point them to The Savior.  I can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves.  I heave a sigh of relief as I release the cares of the world that I never should’ve picked up in the first place. 

A glimpse into my prayer of realignment:

So I finally find myself alone in Your presence, Lord.  What comfort, what joy to return to the waiting arms of My Creator, the One Who understands me – and loves me still.  What great and necessary steps to take in preparation for ministering the song “With All My Heart” (“in this quiet place with You, I bow before Your throne…”).  A slight nod, a tip of the hat, and a wave of my hand was the most I could give you before uttering an exhausted “Thank You, Lord” that could scarcely be categorized as a prayer before tumbling into bed.  How that must grieve You when You ask for my best.  You gave Your best gift, so why should I not follow Your lead?  What a travesty that I haven’t made bowing or quiet before You my #1 priority.  Please forgive me Lord, I pray…

How do you spend your time?  It’s currency, you know!  Whether wisely invested or foolishly frittered away, time doesn’t stay – it goes.  The critical question is:  Where is your time going?  If you don’t know, can you really be considered an effective steward over this valuable commodity our Lord has entrusted to you?  If you do know and it went in a direction not guided by the Holy Spirit, but instead was influenced by worldly desires and fleshly lusts, repentance is in order.

How our time is spent directly correlates to and accurately reflects our heart’s true priorities.  Big time bandits and thieves include technological advances, cleverly disguised as conveniences or creature comforts (to name a few:  mindless TV-watching; unedifying movies; sensual music; flesh-gratifying games, hobbies, and pastimes; gossipy magazines; carnal websites; and leisurely activities) that capture your attention to divert it from time well-spent with Christ – communing, fellowshipping, and learning of Him, His character, His plan and will for your life, and His wisdom for you today.

I couldn’t hear God clearly through the distortion caused by a muddled multitude of voices competing for my undivided attention – quite impossible!  That’s what you call an unrealistic expectation. 🙂  So I had to silence some voices by shuttin’ ‘em down.  Serious business, because they were loud.  But my peace is priceless.  Getting off the dizzying, speeding merry-go-round, I’m finally regaining my equilibrium and balance.  Steady now!  Swooning and careening, I can’t believe how long I was “under the influence.”  But now I’m free and I see reality.  Please purge, purify, and cleanse me, Lord.  Make me white as snow.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

(Psalm 46:10)

“… but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.”

(I Thessalonians 4:10b-12)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart