2016)

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Wow – it’s the last Throwback Thursday of 2020 and the New Year is so close we can almost taste it! Thanks for waltzing down Memory Lane as I shared December posts from previous years. Praying blessings for you and yours, Kayren on 12/31/2020

Taking Inventory, Measuring Growth

What a full year it’s been; I have MUCH to be thankful for – and I’m sure you do, too! The “Watch Me Grow” chart with the giraffe comes to mind – you know, the one where a parent measures how tall their child is growing every so often? It felt like God kept His spiritual measuring stick handy for me in 2016, but thinking back over the year, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every step of the journey was preparation for what is yet to come.

In retrospect, God has kept my family through one transition after another, and I am grateful. One of the most significant adjustments was the mid-year 180⁰ career change of my spouse. Prior to that, God sustained us during a stint when my hardworking hubby endured a 3^rd Shift role with valiant strength and dogged determination that ministered volumes to our family and friends alike. Both children are in middle school and are successfully navigating those potentially turbulent waters with the God’s grace, parental patience, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance and protection. Were things perfect in my family this year? By no means – but I am a witness that consistently-applied discipline DOES indeed bring forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness!

I’ve put a renewed focus on my personal role within the ministry of marriage as we celebrated our “Sweet 16 Wedding Anniversary” for an entire month. As I committed to make my 40^th year on the planet fabulous every day (and it has a wonderful celebration filled with glitter, laughter, tears, and joy!), I learned that a sign of true maturity is to admit the things I don’t know (and to be okay with it) – this was a liberating epiphany (especially since I consider myself to be a planner extraordinaire)! I’ve learned to embrace where I am at this specific point in time instead of allowing dissatisfaction to propel me to attempt to achieve some unrealistic and elusive goal that was never mine to begin with.

We’ve mended bridges with family members and friends, realizing that time really does heal all wounds, even though it doesn’t change the past. I’ve learned to extend forgiveness proportional to the amount of times I need to ask for it.

I’ve diligently worked on holding my tongue so I don’t respond before thinking (as much…trust me, this is progress for someone with my DNA – LOL). I’m doing this not through clenched and gritted teeth to “finally take that vow of silence I’ve been threatening forever” (but been woefully unable to make good on – it’s in the genes; what can I say?!). Now, this refined behavior comes from a primary desire to please God and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to be manifested in every facet of my life.

Sometimes we can’t see how much we’ve grown because it’s like waiting for a flower to bloom 5 minutes after we dropped the seed into the dirt – or more accurately, it’s like watching paint dry. We’re too close to the action to be able to fully absorb the progress. Yet, by stepping back with objective observation through a time lapse lens, we notice the flower unfurl, the seed begin to sprout and bring forth abundance, and our personal growth and development come forth according to God’s Word. I encourage you to take inventory of your own growth over this past year – you may be surprised to see that, though you’re not where you intend to be, you’ve far surpassed your starting point…and this, my friend, is indeed praiseworthy!

Join me in looking ahead to a new year full of promise and potential with joyful anticipation…God’s best is yet to come!

“20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
(Lamentations 3:20-26)

TTT: Demolition Cometh: Make Room for Progress (12/10/2009)

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It’s Terrific Thankful Tuesday! Reflecting with gratitude and revving up for 2021…Blessings to you, Kayren on 12/22/2020

Demolition Cometh: Make Room for Progress

Have you ever noticed how unattentive you really are? This week, I got a good reminder.

There used to be a Subway restaurant across the street from the train station I wait at twice a day, five times a week. I didn’t realize the Subway had moved or otherwise gone out of business until two days ago when I became painfully aware that a significant portion of the strip mall was missing, occupied instead by a wrecking machine. “Wow,” I thought to myself. “When did all of this happen?! I pass this site twice a day and had no clue it was gonna be knocked down.” Perhaps the land would be deemed more valuable without the structure currently standing on it, but it was a decision that had been made previously by the “powers that be;” I’m sure they had to obtain permits and permissions, and finally, I was witnessing the execution of a plan. And it was going quickly. It seemed so…destructive. And final. But I suppose that’s what’s necessary before progress takes place. Out with the old and in with the new…

What negative habits and restrictive thought patterns need to get torn down from your 2009 mindset before you leap into 2010? Don’t try to do “historic preservation” on something that would be better off demolished. After all, progress cometh…if you allow it. Let God do a new thing in you – starting today. Start right now.

“And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old.”

(Luke 5:36)

My Best Gifts Are NOT Under the Tree This Year

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Filled to overflowing with gratitude, overwhelmed by the goodness of God, and perhaps a bit hopped up on the choco-chip-walnut cookies I baked and nibbled too close to bedtime, I had to get up and capture this moment.

Earlier tonight, my teens put the lights on our Christmas tree (without adult supervision!); it was fun to eavesdrop on their bantering conversation. Yesterday, they assembled the tree. I think we’re subconsciously decorating in phases since the boxes of ornaments, tinsel, bows, and all things festive were dragged from the attic and wreaths hung outside two days ago. They left the tree lights on after they went to bed, and I was mesmerized by the simple, unfinished, yet unadorned with ornaments beauty when I caught a glimpse on my way to refill my water bottle.

This year, I am super-excited about the holidays – to the point that I got each member of the family themed holiday pajamas for Christmas morning photos. (#MemoryMakingMama #GuiltyNotSorry!). I’m so excited that I’m ready to wear mine in November! LOL 😜🤣🎉

This is evidence of personal growth that has taken time and diligent self-work. My grandmother passed away on Thanksgiving Day 2008, so the holiday season was bittersweet for me for several years. Not until recently did I personally experience Christ removing the sting of death FOR ME, and it made all the difference. Grief is a process, but so is life, healing, forgiveness, and restoration – and none of these processes should be rushed or glossed over. For too long, I lived suspended between past memories and fantasy wishes beyond my grasp, while attempting to ignore (sometimes harsh) reality. This year, I’m in a place to embrace the entire spectrum of life and all that it holds – and that feels GOOD…like breathing in clean, fresh air.

This year, I am unbound by a calendar. Honestly, I feel that I’ve experienced both Thanksgiving and Christmas in my heart on multiple occasions in the past couple of months…and I look forward to celebrating with my family throughout the remainder of 2020 and into the new year. I’m not waiting anymore. My declaration of appreciation for God’s grace and goodness has already begun. And I’m thankful that this year, my best and most meaningful gifts are not under the Christmas tree. May you discover the same realization to be true for you…

Praying God’s abundant blessings for you and your family during this holiday season,

Kayren

“55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

(I Corinthians 15:55-58)

Self-Care Sunday: Rest is NOT just a 4-letter word!

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REST is often juxtaposed with another 4-letter word: RUSH. If you find yourself still searching for the rest and repose of Sabbath (even in the midst of quarantine – ironic, I know), I invite you to give yourself permission to just BE. Experience your day. To the fullest. Observe the handiwork of God all around you. Yes, even from the vantage point of your home.

Today, my self-care action step of progress looked like foregoing the grazing of prepackaged food I’d stocked my pantry with (for the inevitably impending apocalypse) and taking time – making time – to prepare a healthy, wholesome, low-sodium meal for ME. I love to cook for my family, but today’s gift was for ME. Unapologetically. Lavishly.

Not fancy, but prepared with intention, focus, and follow-through. I perused several internet recipes and decided to try oven baked quinoa for the first time and add some roasted mushrooms. This blossomed into a beautiful bouquet of sliced carrots, diced red onions, and cubed celery that burst into a symphony of color.

The finishing touch was fresh rosemary snipped from my yard – lovingly grown by my wonderfully green-thumbed hubby – sprinkled across my culinary creation.

The process of preparation was unrushed, relaxed, unhurried, unscheduled, and an utterly restful experience. I meandered from back porch to front porch between checking on my dish; clouds and sun and wind interplayed the entire day. I went from short sleeves to hoodie and back again. The only thing missing from my imaginary getaway was the ocean. Sheer delight. A moment of pre-Thanksgiving gratitude oozed from my heart.

Funny thing, my hubby said he might wanna try a bite (he doesn’t even like mushrooms! LOL) – I think it smelled so good, he couldn’t resist. Sometimes the best way to influence others towards healthier habits is to take the first step yourself.

Sidebar: He’s been doing this for me with his consistent morning exercise routine…for several months.

Full disclosure: I’m gonna try to make it work for me starting this week (ugh…the joy of aging! LOL).

So let’s do this…new day, new me starts now. No need to wait for a New Year’s resolution…join me today!

p.s. By the way, the quinoa melted in my mouth.😉

“12 Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee.

13 Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work:

14 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.”

(Deuteronomy 5:12-14)

“28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

(Matthew 11:28-30)

Dead – or Just Dormant?

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Sometimes the obvious gets our attention like a bucket of cold water in the face, right? We forget the simplest lessons of truth by getting caught up in what we see, feel, hear, and think. When we shake off our sensory-induced stupor, we admit what we realized all along, but didn’t trust or believe 100%.

For the past couple of weeks, the rosebush in my yard (whose lovely blooms have been featured in my blog all Summer long and provided me with a beautiful diversion during quarantine) once again looked dried-up, lifeless, and down for the count. I had stopped even looking in that direction when outside, and had resigned myself to accept that they were gone for the season…but I should’ve known better than to assume this temperamental, scrappy rosebush was done putting out flowers just because the only color I saw was brown vine.

From my August 2019 Can These Bones Yet Live Again? post, I should have recalled:

“May we receive our Heavenly Father’s gentle and poignant reminder that some things that appear to be dead are only dormant…and dormancy lasts for only a season before life re-emerges.”

From my 2011 post on time management (worth revisiting), I should have remembered:

“…some seeds remain dormant for a whole year before becoming productive.”

Yes, I forgot about the power of the comeback…until this week – in my haste to grab at least a moment of fresh air between back-to-back conference calls – when I saw 3 tiny buds had emerged from that shriveled up, dead-looking stalk…I was amazed!

I wanted to take a picture, but my phone refused to hold any more data, even after I reluctantly deleted app after app. My wonderful hubby swooped to the rescue (again) to order me an upgraded phone before it crashed (like it did in 2018) as he’d been attempting to prevent for months (again). With my new, fully functional device in hand today, I was able to snap evidence of those 3 roses past full bloom, along with some new buds springing forth.

Instead of being doomsdayish after learning that tonight’s overnight temps may produce frost, I decided to enjoy the floral beauty in this moment. Whatever happens to the roses tomorrow cannot be my focus; right now, they are a gift for me to enjoy, so I’m taking it in!

The moral of this story: No matter what your situation looks like, trust that God is able to breathe new life and restoration into it – all for His glory, and in His time. Stay encouraged…hope springs eternal!

“39 And when he was come in, he saith unto them, Why make ye this ado, and weep? the damsel is not dead, but sleepeth.

40 And they laughed him to scorn. But when he had put them all out, he taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him, and entereth in where the damsel was lying.

41 And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.

42 And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.”

(Mark 5:39-42)

Cold or Hot?

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My hubby says I must be “part lobster” because I like to take really hot baths.
I guess all that’s missing is some Old Bay Seasoning…

Through my sleep-deprived coronafog this week, I struggled to get a hot bath on 2 separate occasions – but alas, the faucets were not cooperating. I couldn’t figure out why – after letting the water run for almost 5 minutes – it was still tepid…a most unpleasant prospect for us crustaceans. A semi-warm bath just won’t cut it. Two nights ago, I thought extended showers by my wonderful teens who also ran the dishwasher took all of Mom’s hot water, so I reluctantly resorted to a shower when the bath taps still responded barely warm. I was so tired, I almost stomped through the bathroom. I’m intentionally working on my evening wind-down routine after being in front of computer screens most of the day.

Tonight, my candles were lit and I NEEDED a therapeutic bath with epsom salts. So I went to The Fixer, my handy-dandy hubby (who’d just done a masterful job on our subway tile kitchen backsplash – way to go, honey!). 🙂 He checked the hot water heater that was up as high as it could go. Hot water ran from every other faucet but my tub…until hubby turned the other knob. Seriously…I’ve lived in this house (and been taking hot baths in this same tub) over half a decade and still had to guess which handle dispensed the hot water?! (Yes. I guess I choose to use my cranial capacity for more substantial matters). I shook my head at myself in exhaustion, thanked him for valiantly solving my latest crisis, and prepared to settle in for my hard-won hot bath.

It was one of those “womp womp” moments – like when tech support tells you to try rebooting your computer…which instantly fixes the computer issue you’ve been having…and you wish you’d tried that before waiting 30 minutes to get some assistance. My whole family got a good laugh at my expense, but I was too tired to try to defend the foolishness, and I think they had compassion on me.

This true blonde moment couldn’t be covered by my burgundy hair rinse even if I tried. Frazzled by quarantine as we prepped for the start of a new virtual school year (and possibly a zombie apocalypse), I guess I’d gotten my wires crossed, spatial relations whacked out, and looked at something so common and familiar from the wrong perspective.

Doesn’t this happen to us spiritually more often than we care to admit? Ah, I am evermore thankful for the gift of glorious grace…

“13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:”
(Revelation 3:13-17)

Broken, But Not Irreparable

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God, You truly know how to crush to extract the essence without destroying the value within a person…

After “forced intercession” due to a heaviness I just couldn’t shake and tears that came from outta nowhere (who ME, try to run from God?! get outta here!😏), after praying through the progeny of my foremothers’ bloodlines and repenting, I finally got a release and this flowed forth. It’s a poem that’ll probably become a song. I captured it in my new $1 pink journal with a gold heart that says “Love Yourself” (because I can’t resist something sparkly that’s only $1…so of course I got one for my daughter, too! LOL). When I was about to turn the page, I noticed that I’d written on the last page instead of the first page. I’ve NEVER done that when starting a new journal – intentionally or unintentionally…and yet, it was fitting and timely today.

I truly didn’t intend to post this backstory – I was just gonna share the poem, but after my time of cleansing tears and emptying out of my soul (thank You, Lord), I must obey…

So be encouraged as you go through your own process of transformation during this “safer at home” time of being shut in and formed, molded, and shaped on the Master Potter’s wheel…ALL for HIS glory.

Broken things can still be used;

They can be repaired,

They can be restored.

To a state of increased value

That only the love of God can afford.

Purchased by God – priceless gift;

Feel the burdens of your soul lift.

God wrote the end of your story first;

He sees your best when you’re at your worst.

Don’t rush His process of soul restoration;

Watch Him remove all frustration…

Rest in Him as He blankets your soul in His peace.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

(Philippians 1:6)

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

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This is dedicated to every father,
with special honor given to Black fathers who are committed to holding their families with strong, protective arms and hearts full of love.
Additionally, those who may not be biological fathers but choose to serve as positive role models in their families and communities are worthy of recognition.

What a time this has been. I begin with an attitude of gratitude after weeks of reflection and introspection. Current events covered by the media only magnify the significance of racial tension that brews, bubbles, and seethes in this “melting pot” of a country.

I am grateful for my father. I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my son who is just on the cusp of manhood and 12 months away from possibly (probably, but I’m OBVIOUSLY still dealing with just a smidge of denial) not residing under my roof, facing the world with what his father and I taught him and surrounded by prayer. I am grateful for the MANY good men and fathers who have graced my life with wisdom, knowledge, insight, instruction, guidance, and discipline through the years. I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful for my faithful and consistent Heavenly Father!

For the pressures, expectations, letdowns, and rejoicings cut too short by reality – over and over again – from my perspective, it looks like being a man these days is a pretty tough job.

Nevertheless, the men I’m fortunate to have in my life are more than built to conquer the tasks presented. Can’t open that stubborn jar? Give it here – I’ve got you! Broken bones or middle of the night child projectiles? No problem – there’s health insurance and a shop-vac for that! Debt that stresses you beyond imagination? Never fear, dear maiden – there’s a plan to address, cover, and conquer that! Scared of the dark, monsters under your bed (or in your closet…or in your past), or the unknowns of the future? Let us pray – I’m here with you, and I know Someone Who will make it all alright for you…especially when I can’t.

For all your perfectly imperfect parts – many or few;
We absolutely couldn’t (and don’t want to) do it without you!

From the girl who doesn’t restrict celebration to a single or specific day, I say TODAY with much respect: Happy Father’s Day! And thank you for your innumerable ongoing sacrifices. And love. And example. And mistakes. And for getting up and getting back in the game even when you’re tired of what seems to be the same ol’ cycle. Be encouraged – because you’re making a difference…every day.

With great appreciation,
Kayren

“1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words:
keep my commandments, and live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding:
forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.”
(Proverbs 4:1-5)

The Sistahood

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It’s not that Oprah, Michelle Obama, or Beyonce are any more fabulous than anyone already in your personal circles…it’s just that, as celebrities, they’re more widely known. This entire week, my eyes have been opened and my soul awakened to the sheer magnitude of greatness in the women around me. Like these gorgeous new roses blooming in my yard, we find ourselves at different stages of life and levels of growth and development, but our individual beauty enhances the collective landscape.

MY network is invaluable and priceless. I was bursting with pride after Tanya gave her dynamic Toastmasters Icebreaker speech today – I’ve gotta get that well-traveled chick’s autograph NOW! I felt like a million bucks after having an afternoon catch-up chat with Tiphanie; after tag-team encouraging each other for 5 minutes, we finally agreed to have a mutual admiration society for respect of the current and future potential we see in one another, determined and committed with accountability to not let it go dormant. I connected her with Michele who just started her own consulting firm because they’re both young, vibrant, unstoppable, brilliant, and share a similar interest. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for LaKeisha who has actively served as a nurse on the COVID-19 front lines and still takes care of her husband and family with godly devotion like a champ; she’s younger than me, but I consider her a role model in so many ways. Yvette is a creative spiritual powerhouse who – days after attending to her own health issues – was calling to check on me…seriously compassionate. My college friends who group text with me regularly have provided the familiar solace that comes from people knowing you (up, down, sideways, inside and out) for over two decades.

These women (and the scores of others I can’t possibly list here) have been an invaluable part of my support network. The impact of their influence on me has been magnified during these past several months as they provided reinforcement in places I didn’t even know I had needs.

I say it’s time to harness the power of those dynamic people God has already placed in our paths. The next Oprah may already be within your sphere of influence – help her come forth, and she’ll do the same for you. We can nurture and build our environment with genuine friendship, kinship, and relationship. With love, perseverance, and dedication, we CAN change the world as we know it for the better – one step at a time, one day at a time, one intentional action at a time. I’m counting on it…for my daughter’s sake, and her generation. Count your blessings, assess your network, and mount up, sistahs…the time is NOW! OUR time is now!

Thank YOU for being part of my network – I am truly grateful!

p.s. It goes without saying that as we strengthen our sisterhood network, we put ourselves in better position to support our brothers…

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
(Psalm 133:1)

The Mom Chronicles 2020

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chronicle (noun) –
record, history, account, diary, register, journal, story, narrative

chronicle (verb) –
report, record, re-count, relate, narrate, register, keep track of, make note of, write down

In my opinion, EVERY day is Mother’s Day.😉 Whether you are a mother, you have a mother, or you know a mother, stories to chronicle abound! No matter what stage of life you’re in, celebrate this weekend by taking a moment to reflect on the impact of mothers in your life – and share your gratitude!

Every culture has its own “mom-isms.” I grew up in the South, raised by traditional disciplinarians. Do any of these sound familiar?

“Because I SAID so – that’s why!”
“I’m not “such & such’s” mother – I’m YOUR Mama!”
My fave from my grandma: “I’m not mean; I just MEAN what I say!”
BONUS: “This is gonna hurt ME more than it hurts you!” (before being disciplined in love LOL)

If you can relate to (or recall with a shudder!) any of these examples, chances are you had at least one authority figure in your life who cared about you making it from childhood to adulthood successfully; hence, you have a reason to be thankful for their influence.😁 And if you’ve used any of these “mom-isms” within the past 24 hours, you are definitely a mom!🤣

We all have memories when reflecting on the mothers in our lives – biological, adopted, neighborhood, mentors, friends, those we’ve admired from afar, etc. Whether you had the June Cleaver, Claire Huxtable, Martha Stewart, Florida Evans, or Peg Bundy type of mom – or somewhere in between – moms are a special breed.

I’ve learned (from experience) that sometimes their volume button gets stuck on HIGH.❣ Their eyes leak at the most inopportune moments.😥 Most of them really DO have eyes in the back of their head.🧐😳👀 Sometimes they say one thing, but mean something totally different.😬🙄😖 But whatever model you were assigned from the factory😇 – treasure your mom as a one-of-a-kind design who helped make you who you are today…UNIQUELY YOU!

I’m praying you have a blessed and Happy Mother’s Day – thank YOU for being a precious gift!🎁💖

“29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
(Proverbs 31:29-31)

Kayren Cathcart's Blog

Observations on daily life and inspiration for spiritual growth…

observation

TT: Taking Inventory, Measuring Growth (12/24/2016)

TTT: Demolition Cometh: Make Room for Progress (12/10/2009)

My Best Gifts Are NOT Under the Tree This Year

Self-Care Sunday: Rest is NOT just a 4-letter word!

Dead – or Just Dormant?

Cold or Hot?

Broken, But Not Irreparable

Fathers Deserve MORE Than Just a Day

The Sistahood

The Mom Chronicles 2020