Apprehending the Suspect: Caught Red-Handed

apprehend – catch, arrest, detain, capture, stop, take in for questioning
suspect – accused, defendant, offender, culprit, perpetrator, wrongdoer, criminal 

En route to work this morning, I got pulled over by the police (cue “Bad Boys” theme music from “Cops”).  Why?  Because of my own impatience and subsequently feeble attempt to justify it in my own mind.  Seeing those bright flashing lights behind me in the dark was sobering – as if being out early in the freezing cold during Daylight Saving Time wasn’t bad enough…

A tightly-choreographed morning schedule that includes me driving across town to jump on a train (that runs at 10-minute intervals) to get to work is contingent on what time my children’s bus arrives – this impacts the number of lights that stop me at intersections, which railroad crossing arms catch me, and what traffic bottlenecks I encounter. So all of these variables inevitably led to my momentary lapse in judgment to run through the almost-lowered railroad crossing arms near my house – after all, it was on the front-end of my morning journey, right?  Wrong…terribly wrong.

The light at the intersection was green, I heard the train’s warning whistle afar off, and I saw the railroad crossing arms flashing as they began to lower.  I was in the left turning lane and would’ve gotten stuck waiting for the train, so I darted into the right lane, under the crossing arms and over the railroad tracks, and waited for the folks to turn left before I did, too – after all, that light was still green though the crossing arms had come down behind me.  So I’m heading smoothly on my regular morning drive when I see those blue flashing lights.  Uh oh…that sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach when I realized “The Man” was indeed signaling ME.  SERIOUS uh oh.  I hadn’t seen a police car at all; then again, in my haste, I honestly hadn’t looked for one.  But ignorance of the law is no excuse…

I pulled over, reached into the glove compartment for my registration, and took my warm hat off my head so wouldn’t look any more “suspicious” than my illegal behavior had already made me.  The officer asked, “Good morning; do you know why I pulled you over?”  I humbly asked, “Why did you pull me over, sir?” He asked, “Did you realize that you sped through the crossing arms, then waited from the right lane to turn left in the middle of the intersection? I was the first one at the railroad crossing, and you passed me!  What’s the big rush this morning?”  I replied, “Yes sir, I did go ahead of the train to get that green light; my children’s bus was late yesterday, and I’m trying to be on time for work today.”  He said with a smile, “It’s better for the boss-man to be upset because you’re late than for you to drive like that.”  I agreed and said, “Or not to arrive at all.” (I’ve been painfully aware of human mortality over the past month, which should have quelled this behavior to begin with).

The officer continued, “I don’t write tickets, but I do lecture a whole lot.”  He looked at the two empty booster seats in my backseat and inquired, “I hope you don’t drive like that with your babies in here, ma’am.”  And I said, “No sir, I do not.”  He reminded me, “Please slow down ma’am and drive more carefully; have a good morning.”  As I reached out the window to shake his hand, I replied, “Thank you, sir.  I appreciate it – you are right, I can repent, and I will be telling my husband – I was wrong. I apologize, and I will not do that again.”  And I won’t – because I know better.

While Charlotte may be the home of the NASCAR Hall of Fame, that gives me no license to drive recklessly, break the law, or endanger lives (others’ or my own).  It was the grace of God that I didn’t get a ticket this morning (which I was fully preparing myself to have to explain to my hubby AND to pay for – yikes!), but I will neither exploit nor take advantage of that grace.  Since this morning’s incident, I’m proactively searching for the speed limit signs so I can obey them, and I even stopped at a yellow light just on general principle.  Because there’s really nothing that important worth rushing for and disobeying the law that’s put there for my own protection.

Consider your own attitude towards your natural and spiritual authority, and your current level of obedience.  Are there flashing blue lights waiting to apprehend YOU in a particular area of your life?  I urge you to yield to the Holy Spirit and avoid an accident – whether in the natural or in the spirit realm.  You must admit that I make a pretty compelling argument.  Selah.

“14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?”

(Romans 6:14-16)

 © Copyright 2013 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Critical Condition: Cut to the Core

Talk about the boomerang effect!  It didn’t take long for the lessons in my previous post to come home to roost – again.  Today, I was called on the carpet with no recourse – except to implement some of the changes I’d been skirting for the longest.

At my request, a dear co-worker (who also has a medical background) took my blood pressure reading this morning; he was not pleased with the result.  I reasoned with him that we had just descended eleven flights of stairs for our unexpected fire drill.  Unconvinced, he came back (with stethoscope and all) an hour later to retake it.  My slightly decreased level was still elevated – enough to concern him.

He shot straight from the hip – again – as he had done on several other occasions.  Restating the disclaimer that he was not a doctor, he gave me four directives (which he recapped in an e-mail):

  1. Focus on weight loss – there’s no quick fix for this; a slow, steady process is the very best way to go.  (He noted that my blood pressure and cholesterol concerns would significantly diminish, if not be totally eliminated, when I’m within my target weight range; the chart’s goal is double my personal goal…but any weight loss at this point is desirable and welcome).
  2. Cut out salt – throw away your salt shaker; it’s better for the entire family.
  3. Keep up with your exercise – not less than 4-5 days per week.
  4. Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss these elevated readings since your physical 6 months ago.

Honestly, all of these were gonna be pretty grievous to my flesh, but I was especially apprehensive about the last one.  Because I don’t want to be put on medication like other family members.  But I guess my “hit or miss” efforts don’t really corroborate that desired outcome.  After a mental wrestling match, I called to schedule my doctor’s appointment – first available, next Wednesday morning.  Thank goodness, since my co-worker stopped by my cube to follow up with me less than two hours later.

Perhaps the most impactful thing he wrote (in all caps, so I guess that’s shouting?!) was, “KEEP FOCUSED AND DON’T CHEAT.  THE BENEFITS ARE HUGE.”  Well, it worked, because that truly resonated with me.  And he’s right.  Conversely, the risks and consequences of disobedience are also huge.  So begins my season of heightened accountability…

Perhaps your issue isn’t a health issue at all, but a matter of the heart.  Whatever it may be, I urge you to attend to it today, before it becomes critical, and possibly irreversible.

“When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart…”
(Acts 7:54a)

© Copyright 2012 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Walk in Your Assignment: For Such a Time as This

Have you ever had something impressed on you so strongly that you KNEW you had to start walking in that direction immediately…or else? I got a gigantic jolt of a reminder to that effect this weekend – and I don’t believe the holiday is called “Memorial Day” for naught. Oh, how well do I remember that very specific assignment God impressed on my heart many years ago. I worked on it diligently at first, but after a while, I fell off, got distracted, and allowed other things to start consuming larger portions of my time, energy, and attention. But the assignment never went away. God didn’t change His mind.

So here I find myself at the crossroads of Obedience and “But Lord, You know…” And the decision really is very simple. (Hint: Take the road of obedience!) 🙂

Opportunities present themselves all the time.  The question when they appear is:  are we prepared to receive them and walk in them? Have we effectively utilized our seasons of preparation, or did we fritter them away with nothing to show for it?  It’s “go” time – are you ready?  It’s time…for action, obedience, fruit…and for His perfect will to be made manifest in the earth.  My prayer is that each of us will deliberately walk in our assignment today and serve our Creator with joy.

“For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

(Esther 4:14)

 “Whereupon, O king Agrippa, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision:”

(Acts 26:19)

© Copyright 2012 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great…Emergency!

Was it a fall…or a jump?  Either way the children’s story goes, I’ve been told that most little boys have at least one Superman episode…to make a long story short, my son’s just occurred.

They say the best time to prepare for an emergency is before it’s necessary.  How do I know?  Because I got a call at work this past Thursday around 11:30 a.m. that my son had jumped from the top of the sliding board (or fallen from the monkey bars, depending on the iteration of the story) during a field trip to the park – and his arm was twisted, mangled, and – I was told – dislocated.  This was no time to practice the peace the comes only from resting in the presence of God – it was “go time.”  

Instead of relying on my less-than-stellar sense of direction, I printed a quick set of MapQuest directions to the hospital, and off I zoomed.  When my co-worker generously offered to drive me to my car (which I would’ve had to reach after a 2 block walk to the train, then a 10 minute ride), her quick thinking and thoughtfulness helped me arrive at the hospital 10 minutes before my child and his caregiver.  And it was a blessing that a parent chaperone for the field trip just happened to be a nurse…whose daughter had broken her little arm a few months prior.  It was no coincidence that this woman knew exactly what to do to calm my hysterical child.  God is so faithful!

Well, after 7 x-rays, a couple of shots of morphine, tears too numerous to tally, (and a partridge in a pear tree, it felt like), Emergency Room staff confirmed that both of his forearm bones (ulna and radius) were indeed broken.  And to think that my biggest decision that morning was what time I’d go get a mani/pedi…and wax the fuzzy caterpillars still (unfortunately) adorning my forehead.  As a parent, it’s a matter of priorities; I resigned myself not to think about the unruly, bushy eyebrows anymore.  However, I digress…

The entire ER staff at Levine Children’s Hospital was absolutely EXCEPTIONAL during the 6+ hours we were there.  My child had some pretty strong “dreams” as a result of the anesthesia (conscious sedation, I believe they called it) and it took him a couple of hours to shake off the grogginess enough to come home.  However, after eating a popsicle and evidencing that the drugs had worn off significantly, he was discharged until a 1-week follow-up appointment.  I had no complaints because I’m very aware that some mothers don’t leave the ER with their children in one piece.  As we headed for x-rays, we passed a young girl with her neck in an immobilizing brace; I know our story could have ended in such a different way.  Yet, by Sunday, my son was back to his jovial self – and sporting his blue cast, complete with signatures.

So goes another chapter in the “growing up” saga…for both child and parent.  Since my “fix the pain” threshold usually ends at “Band-Aid duty,” God definitely carried me through the day with His grace.  Considering that I was whining about pulling teeth for the past couple of years, I’m a witness that promotion truly comes from the Lord!  Before this set of circumstances, my honorary MD stood for “Mommy Dentist,” but I dare say that I’ve been elevated to “Mommy Doctor.”  I am grateful.

Thank the Lord that He is able to put us back together again!  May we daily walk in obedience to reap the rewards of righteousness and enjoy the protective benefits of yielding to God’s authority.

“Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed.”

(Psalm 6:2)

 “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.”

(Proverbs 3:7-8)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

broken right arm

The broken right arm - what a shape...

It Is Finished!

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

(Matthew 27:46)

 “When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.”

(John 19:30)

After weeks and months of agonizing, planning, preparing, and executing, The Great 2nd Grade Science Fair Project of 2011 has finally been handed in – hallelujah!  We concluded the experiment.  We finished the research paper BEFORE Spring Break (no minor feat to keep a 2nd grader focused in the house when they’d rather be outside playing).  We printed the hypothesis, cut out graphics, and pasted until our hearts were content.  Not only did I survive, but I emerged from the process stronger than I expected.  I’m glad it’s done (really glad – trust me!), but I have a greater appreciation for why God made me face my own science project angst and trepidation head-on.

See, I went into this with the mindset, “I’ve already earned my degree(s) – why, oh why must I go through this dreadful torture again?!?”  However, God showed me so many things through the course of working with my child on this project, including how very alike we are (in more ways than I care to admit), including:

  • Bright with natural aptitude = wanting to rush through the process to reach a conclusion (can’t see the forest for the trees)
  • Inclined to take the path of least resistance = being more focused on reaching the destination than enjoying the journey
  • Intense, perfectionist, self-critical = not being patient with the process, and sometimes getting unduly frustrated with the little things

I had plenty of opportunities for teachable moments – as teacher and as student.  For example, I overcame the urge to finish the report myself just so it would be done – because I’d be robbing my child of his learning process.  When one particular milestone progress report was due, we were solidly in the midst of the 21-day fast.  I was irate, aggravated, and hungry; what I wouldn’t have given for some junk food that Saturday!  Yet, God showed Himself strong and mighty, and HE ALONE sustained me through that episode without the crutch of emotionally eating chocolate or carbs! 

So here’s the bottom line praise report:  This week, my child was selected as one of the TOP THREE 2nd Graders to advance a project to the school’s Science Fair!  My initial goal had been simply to “get it done and turn it in.”  Sad to admit, but I wasn’t aiming for excellence – “pretty good” would’ve been fine with me.  But my child saw the guidelines for having a great project and he really wanted to win.  Since we serve a God of excellence (not mediocrity), I had to practice what I preach and give my best effort.  After all of my foot-dragging, complaining about how I didn’t want to do this because it’s just one more thing on my already full plate, yada yada yada…God showed that He was in the midst of the whole thing.  Like I didn’t have a sneaking suspicion from the time the assignment came home…

So it really was never about me at all. 🙂  It never is!  It’s always for God’s purposes.  And this time, I believe God wanted to see a snaggle-toothed smile from a boy who won a prize full of science gold – complete with modeling clay, slinky, microscope, and who knows what else is in that package.  He had his moment in the spotlight – being featured on the morning announcements, receiving congratulatory cheers from his classmates, standing on the stage beaming in front of peers and parents, and getting his picture taken by his little sister who was genuinely proud of him.

Did he win First Place in the School Science Fair?  Nope – not even Second or Third Place.  My hubby claims, “We was robbed!” and I’m rather inclined to agree with him…who me – biased?  Nah!  But in our eyes, he stood head and shoulders above the competition (including 3rd through 5th Graders).  He represented us well, and our whole family was there to support him for his hard work and to celebrate his accomplishments.  We have the certificates to prove it – and that big tri-fold board in the corner that I won’t soon forget.  I think my hubby wants to frame the entire board.  And I don’t blame him.  As Editor-in-Chief of www.PaperPolisher.com, I declare that working on this project and report with my child may have been some of my finest work yet. 

We must learn to see priorities from God’s perspective, and then commit to grow through the process He chooses for us.  My daughter will have to do science projects, too – won’t she? 🙂

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”

(Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Beauty of Being Hidden

Well, in the event that anyone missed hearing from me via this blog, hello again!  Where have I been?  A little of here, there, and everywhere – so I won’t try to stuff almost two months’ worth of experiences into a single post, but I’ll unfold it over the next few weeks.  After writing a blog entry entitled Talk Back to Your Flesh, I shouldn’t have had one ounce of surprise when my Pastor called our church to a 21-day fast.  Consequently, my fast included sacrificing some digital media access – including my beloved inspirational blog. 🙂  Reducing, curtailing, and eliminating many distractions (electronic, food, etc.) helped me to settle into a place of peace where I could hear Him more clearly.  Our God is evermore faithful – He knows exactly what we need and when we need it!

Sometimes we fight against the very thing God is doing in our lives for His glory and, most of the time unbeknownst to us, for our benefit.  Have you ever been “under the radar” – hidden so deep you could hardly find yourself?  And when you tried to emerge from the place where God had you covered, He pressed you back into the position where He’d concealed you in the first place?  I have years of personal experience with this!  But be encouraged – it’s not a bad thing to be hidden by God; it’s just one of the ways He protects us. 🙂  I’ve recently gained an even greater appreciation for His means and methods of sheltering His children.  Allow me to share some key points from a few verses God dropped into my spirit this evening.

Confidently Anticipate God’s Provision 

“For it was so, when Jezebel cut off the prophets of the LORD, that Obadiah took an hundred prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water.”

(I Kings 18:4) 

  1. A dark, damp cave can save your life when it’s appointed by God!
  2. Luxury isn’t a prerequisite for being sustained – bread and water will get the job done in a pinch.
  3. God is more than able to maintain – for His ultimate glory – what man attempts to cut off.

 Can You Handle Being Under the Radar? 

“… and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”

(I Kings 19:10) 

  1. Remain where God places you for the season He designates!  Don’t pop up like the “Whack-A-Mole” game – stay low and humble yourself…you’re out of the public eye for His purposes!  
  2. Shut down the pity party – know that He’s got you separated unto Himself for good reason:  so He can directly feed you the nutrients and nourishment He needs you to have. 
  3. Let God work on you – even when (and especially when) it’s uncomfortable and requires you to change.  He knows the areas you need to be strengthened in for the next assignment or battle you haven’t foreseen.

 Rest in God’s Reassurance

 “Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.”

(I Kings 19:18) 

  1. You can hear God’s voice clearly when you commit to be still in His presence; He is the Answer you seek.
  2. Believe that God’s plan is more extensive and comprehensive than what your finite mind is capable of comprehending.
  3. God will punish idolatry – even in these “modern” times; check yourself and make sure you’re not compromising with any of Baal’s stuff (his people, representatives, mindsets, systems, places, etc.)!

 A brief scan of the headlines for earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, and tornadoes will remind us that these are serious times indeed.  May we find ourselves in the center of God’s perfect will, committed to obeying His every command to us – individually and collectively.  When this occurs, we will experience – and trust – His protection as He hides us …like only He can.

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

(Psalm 91:1-2)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Talk Back to Your Flesh

Now WHY does my flesh think it can determine the course of my day based on how IT’S feeling instead of on obedience to God’s Word?  Facing a test isn’t bad – we just have to establish that we’ll pass the test and rely on God’s help to do so!  This week, I found myself having to speak out loud and positively affirm obedient choices:

  • “No, we are NOT going to eat unhealthy fast food.  Yes, we ARE going to eat the healthy, pre-portioned lunch at our desk.”
  • “No, we are NOT going to be slothful.  Yes, we ARE going to exercise – right now.” 
  • “No, we will NOT be impatient and have an attitude with our loved ones.  Yes, we WILL let patience have her perfect work in us.”
  • “No, we are not going to wait until the last minute to leave the house, then arrive late.  Yes, we ARE going to prepare the night before, leave 30 minutes earlier, and arrive not just on-time, but EARLY.”
  • And of course, “No, we are NOT playing Solitaire tonight!  We ARE going to obey the Lord and spend time in His Word.”

Speak the Word of God into your own situation.  You can’t rationalize with the flesh – it will come up with some convincing arguments!  Starve your flesh; counter its wants with what God says you need!  Spiritual warfare at its finest…gird up – game on!

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”

(Romans 13:14)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Solitary Confinement: Confessions on Kicking a Bad Habit

You know, the flesh can talk really loud.  When you try to ignore it, it starts yelling.  Put it into withdrawal from its appetite of choice, and it launches into a full-blown temper tantrum.  Maybe that’s why Paul said, “I die DAILY” in I Corinthians 15:31.  Being “crucified with Christ” is the only way to keep the flesh in check!  The flesh must be starved; otherwise, the more you feed it, the more it wants.  They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes…

I recently rediscovered how competitive I am…with myself.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled up a computer Solitaire game to wind down one evening before bedtime instead of doing a crossword puzzle.  Harmless, right?  So I thought…

Forty minutes later, I had gotten the hang of the scoring mechanism, and I learned how time figured into my score.  And I wanted to beat it.  So I said to myself, “Just one more game…”  But that “one more game” wasn’t enough.  Ten games later (can you say compulsive personality?), I’d won several games, but I still hadn’t beaten my “best score.”  I was giving myself the gift of bags under my eyes, but I was fixed (more like fixated) on my goal.  I’m sure God would appreciate me having that same laser-like focus on His Word.  Imagine – having an addiction to the Word of God; we’d be unstoppable, saints! 

A few days later, my hubby came in to bowl a couple of games on the Wii. He must’ve seen my eyes glazed over as I peered intently at the computer screen, concentrating on winning.  He laughed and said, “You’ve got a Solitaire “jones,” girl!”  As much as I wanted to disagree, I knew he was right.  And I had to break that preoccupation – unproductive “idle” time was was creeping into “idol” territory.  He “sentenced” me to “no Solitaire games at night” for a couple of days straight.  I began to itch.  But I knew it was for my good, since I’d been mega-sleepy the mornings after my private Solitaire tournaments.

One night I was just waiting for him to fall asleep so I could – yep, you guessed it – go play Solitaire.  He put the brakes on that and told me to stay in the bed and channel surf until I got sleepy.  Now I KNOW channel surfing is a waste of time, but here I was stuck with the “lesser of two evils.”  I wasn’t at obsession level with this game (yet), but this seemingly harmless way to spend time had captivated my affections.  I was actually plotting and scheming when I could have my Solitaire time (making provision for the flesh)!  I don’t think the game itself is bad – it just became bad for me because I wasn’t disciplined enough to read my Word first or stop playing after 15 minutes and finish my other evening tasks (making lunches, laying out children’s outfits, loading the dishwasher) like I had some sense.

On yet another evening (I hadn’t learned my lesson yet – this went on about 2 weeks), I tried to circumvent the process of breaking my habit and “having just a li’l bit.”  Yeah right.  Actually, I was just planning to “do my own thing” (Did I really say that?  Yes.  It’s the truth – and that makes us free).  I figured that since I’d be sitting under the hair dryer for an hour, I could play Solitaire (multi-tasking – LOL) – after all, it wasn’t extra time I was spending on the game…it was just time I’d already be awake that I’d be using for personal recreation…right?  WRONG!  Time is God’s gift to me, and if I’m going to be a wise steward over it, I have to use it as HE directs.  Though I’d already set the laptop next to the hair dryer, I said ALOUD, “Flesh, you are NOT going to get what you want this time!.  You are going to read this Sunday School lesson and meditate on the Word of God for the hour you’re under the hair dryer.  This is what we’re gonna eat for the next hour.  You are starving from Solitaire.”  Do you see a theme here?  I had to actively choose righteousness and building up my spirit man.

I could’ve been content that I’d “given up” my spy TV program a couple of months ago.  I could’ve continued to rationalize that I “deserved” some time for a comparably innocuous relaxing activity.  But I was setting myself up for a fall.  When God points something out, He wants us to take action right then.  Nothing should have “beloved” status in our lives but Jesus.  However, is that really the case?  We’re in an information-driven society; would you go through withdrawal if someone took away access to your e-mail, iPod music downloads, cell phone, online social networking, text messages, novels, games, favorite TV programs, etc. for a week?  Be honest…with yourself!

Now I KNOW I’m not the only one who needs to use the invaluable resource of time more productively for God’s glory!  Today, I challenge you to solitary confinement with His Word.  Declare war on a time-waster that has usurped your single-minded attention on and devotion to your First Love!   Deny yourself something that you enjoy and instead, spend that time with your Creator.  You just might be surprised at what He shows you during your time of communing.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

(Galatians 5:24)

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

(James 5:16)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

In EVERY Thing Give Thanks

Say WHAT?!?  Seriously, did my child just thank God for Daylight Saving Time during his prayer this morning?  Yeah, he did!  After I’m STRUGGLING to get back on an even keel, driving to work in the dark groggy, yawning for the first 3 hours of my day?  Uh-huh.  While I’m lamenting the loss of my precious hour of sleep, he’s embracing the beauty of change and relishing how the extra hour of sunlight directly translates into more time to play. 

Or maybe it’s not that deep.  Maybe he’s just a morning person and I’m not.  Whatever the case may be, it was a wake-up call for me – literally. 

I repent, Lord!  I am thankful even for Daylight Saving Time.  You have given me this day to be productive for You and share the light of Your love with someone who needs You.  Guide my steps and my words, I pray…

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

(I Thessalonians 5:18)

 “I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.”

(John 9:4)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change My Heart, O God

My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart