The Rubber Meets the Road: Committing To Walk the Talk

Have you ever noticed that when you make a decision to change, you get tested on it pretty much immediately – to see if you’re really committed to changing?

One recent morning during my commute, I purposed in my heart to have a day of consecration for the purpose of clarity and cleansing.  I decided to drink only water – I wanted nothing to distract me from hearing God’s voice regarding the specific requests I had placed on the altar.  Now before you go thinking, “Oh, she’s so deep,” I ask you to reference numerous other posts where I detail my ongoing battles with loving food too much and acknowledging my need for more self-discipline in that area for optimal health and well being.  I’ve failed to keep a fast many times before because I hadn’t firmly made up my mind.  It’s not about deepness – it’s about obedience!  Well, lo and behold if a friend didn’t call and ask me for a “short notice lunch” that same afternoon.  Mind you, we’d been trying to schedule a get-together for months.  I sensed a test!  🙂

Since I really did want to meet with her, I asked the Lord to show me His will in this situation.  Perhaps He wanted to use me to encourage her and let my light shine as a witness of His grace.  I wanted to make myself available.  I let her know I would be glad to join her as long as she didn’t mind me having just water.  Astonished (because she knew how much I enjoyed eating as a recreational sport), she responded, “You’re fasting?  More power to you!  We won’t go to your favorite restaurant so there’s less suffering on your part.”  I laughed as I mused, “Isn’t suffering a significant part of self-denial?”  I was glad I didn’t cave in to the temptation to procrastinate and restart another day.  The flesh lost this battle – yay!  I was destined for victory, and willing to pay the price.

In the past, I’ve made a “promise” to God, then “changed my mind” when circumstances were unfavorable.  On more occasions than I care to admit, I’ve had a “conditional fast” – saying, “Well Lord, I’ll fast until I see those extra bagels left after the meeting; certainly you’ll permit me reschedule this and start over tomorrow – that sacrifice will be just as good – right?”  Maybe you can relate?  I’ve even left myself an “out” – confidently leaving my lunch bag at home, while realizing in the back of my mind that if I got the munchies, I had plenty of fruit to nibble on at my desk…after all – it’s fruit, right?  Trust me, it doesn’t pay to rationalize with God – He always wins!  All His ways are righteous and holy – and we are called to be like Him.  Do it His way to reap His results.

When you decide to agree with God’s will, He causes everything to line up.  He touched my friend’s heart to support my efforts to hear Him more clearly.  Why?  Because He wants me to be a participant in this next phase of His move – and in order to do that, I have to be able to hear Him clearly.  And that requires clearing out the junk – both spiritual and natural.  He will always make a way of escape – the question is whether or not we choose to take it!  Truly, I rely on Him moment-by-moment for my provision.  May we evermore commit to putting no confidence in the flesh, but to putting all confidence in the God of our salvation.  He desires for us to grow, mature, and develop – which requires change from our current status.  Let us go to the next level and embrace the sacrifices required to walk into a new season.  It will be worth it.

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of A Deliberate Decision

I’m experiencing a shift and a realignment – both in the spirit and in the natural.  Today, I realized how very happy I really am.  I awoke on my Saturday at 6:00 a.m. and actually wanted to stay up!  Granted, I didn’t stay up (anyone who knows me is aware of how much I value those few-and-far-between opportunities to sleep late), but the excitement bubbling inside could’ve kept me up.  Instead of watching TV, I worked…I guess that’s what a little motivation will do for you!  I can see how much time (or productivity) unconscious, mindless TV watching has drained from me fulfilling my God-given purpose. 

And eating – that’s changed for me, too.  I used to love eating rich meals with my slim and well-proportioned husband.  While his metabolism burned off whatever touched his lips, calories and fat seemed to obstinately accumulate on my hips (and all sites north and south of that vicinity).  It was a common way I used to fellowship, but now I’ve made some deliberate decisions about where I want to be and what it will take for me (not someone else) to maintain a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.  I passed up his special Super Bowl baked beans laden with ground beef and sausage.  Instead of feeling deprived, I knew my innards thanked me.  And now when I hear the tinkling of his spoon in the ice cream bowl, I don’t even flinch – to God be the glory!  So this is what it means to make a decision and stick with it, huh?    What a novel concept!

I’m growing in confidence that the decisions I make are good for me, not requiring (as much!) affirmation or validation from others because I’m the one who has to live with my decisions.  I’ll admit that sometimes it helps to have a nudge in the right direction from a supportive friend.  Yet, I can’t get caught up in the comfort of company or companionship.  Some paths are meant to be traveled in solitude and reflection.  Like the journey of becoming. 

After having lived to utterly please others for so long, this is indeed a new way of traveling.  I feel lighter already.  Bye-bye excess baggage…I see a place for you to be unloaded.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A New Way of Walking

This is very different indeed.  I used to think I owed it to myself to worry.  Yet, worrying accomplishes nothing productive.  And I’ve discovered that the less I obsess about something, the shorter time it takes for it to work itself out.  Amazing, isn’t it?  I know it sounds silly, but many of us live a significant portion of our lives – too much – wondering about what’s up the road and around the corner.

See, I’m a planner by nature.  Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to give me a husband who is very action-oriented.  Whenever he sees my eyebrows lift and my forehead start to crinkle up, he asks me, “What’s wrong, and what can you do about it?”  Not once does he join me in my grandiose “what if” planning, thinking, pondering, and contemplating until I’m completely preoccupied with the mental chess game I’ve set up inside my noggin in 10 seconds flat.  Instead, he gently guides me to think about the things I do have control over to modify whatever situation I may be facing.

So in this season, I’m resting in Christ, knowing that His Word illuminates the path I am to walk – and I don’t have to worry about it…at all.  As long as I walk in obedience, I’ll reach the destination He has appointed for me.

“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”

(Jeremiah 6:16)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Buildup and Residue

I was so very warm, cozy, and super comfy in the bed when I muttered to myself, “Must – pass – test.”  See, staying in the bed either when summoned by inspiration to write or when nudged by the Holy Spirit to pray were two areas I’d seriously slacked in.  However, that is not a testimony of excellence…so here I am.  I’ve got to get rid of that residue from the way I “used to” do business.

While getting my hair fixed recently, I saw for myself the impact of product buildup.  The lady in the chair next to me was afflicted by hairspray residue causing a mass of fine flakes that I thought looked like dandruff.  Yes, it looked really bad on the black cape that draped her shoulders.  As the stylist educated her (while I eavesdropped), I began to wonder what it looks like on the inside when we let things build up without getting rid of them over time.  If we don’t wash the junk away regularly, it will accumulate.  So it is with our hearts.  If we allow negative thoughts – or just “plain ol’ sin” in general – to build up, eventually we’re going to explode. 

Real-life examples of residue include oil particulates left in a pan you just washed; egg fragments stuck on a spatula that just ran through the dishwasher; malice, unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, anger, and anything left over from the old fleshly life (attitudes included).  Gasoline commercials warn that buildup on a car’s engine will slow its performance and impede its peak operating effectiveness.  Why wouldn’t it be so with our hearts?  It is.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

(James 4:8)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Facing the Intuitively Obvious

Why is it so challenging to stay the course when distracted?  Someone else may be permitted to do something that’s not really good for you – but that’s no excuse to join in indulging with them, no matter how close they are to you.

For example, I hear (through my closed bedroom door) the familiar sound of my healthy, nicely-proportioned, not overweight husband getting his pre-bedtime snack.  I hear the click of the dishwasher opening as he reaches for his favorite bowl, the sliding of the drawer to get an eating utensil, and the beeps of the microwave.  Even if I’m not hungry, these sounds trigger behavior that has contributed to me gaining an extra 40+ pounds over the past decade.  At first, late night eating was fun, and joining my spouse with a snack became a habit – a calorie-rich habit.  Now I see that because I wasn’t disciplined enough to make healthier choices, I’m paying for it now.  Ugh.  (Trust me, I didn’t wanna get that real, but in order to make a change, you’ve gotta identify the root cause of the issue and isolate the problem). 

Action-oriented people ask me, “So what are you gonna do about it?”  Instead of seething or having a grossly underattended pity-party, I may as well face the reality of my genetic predisposition to the “magnetic middle area” and not only decrease my food intake, but get moving.  I feel like a broken record because I’ve started and stopped exercise routines more times than I care to count.  So did that cause disappointment?  Yeah, but I didn’t stick to it.  But “it” wasn’t clearly defined (subconsciously or deliberately) so I could give myself an “out” when I failed…talk about defeatist thinking!  Now I can no longer afford to pay the price for failure.  So this is what it means to embrace change, eh?  Hello to a new day and a new way…

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient:

all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”

(I Corinthians 10:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Friend or Foe?

When you don’t release what’s inside, there’s an unnatural flow and process is hindered.  Watching other people live their dreams (for example, watching hours of reality shows like I did over a long weekend) is ridiculous when you’re stagnating as a result of your own choices, actions, or as it may conversely be, inaction.  No doubt, it’s easy not to change, not to rock the boat, not to push the envelope.  But what has God called us to?  Being transformed by the renewing of our minds through Christ Jesus.

Personal accountability:  I didn’t wanna be put on blast because of what I wasn’t doing, so I thought I could just fade into the woodwork…I mean really, how many people have already read all 40+ of my previous blog entries?  Yet a sister asked me yesterday, “When are you gonna update your blog?”  At first my mind raced defensively, “I started the blog during a 2-week vacation when I wasn’t at work, didn’t have to drive the “mommy bus,” and had time to be alone with my thoughts.”  But all of those so-called reasons were just excuses I was trying to hide behind.  And this sista wouldn’t let me (you know who you are, Tiffy!  LOL).  So I guess I owe her a thank you for telling me the truth.  That’s what a true friend does.  She helped me get back into position and be who God called me, not who I think I am or feel like at a given moment due to circumstances.

And it all comes back to being tested by the Word.  I did just speak about obedience a few days ago, didn’t I?  Big ol’ bull’s-eye on my back like a bright red target…I’d better get it right this time!  It’s reassuring to know I’m not in this alone.

“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

(Proverbs 17:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Loss or Gain?

I never connected to Philippians 3 like this before.  Who wants to say that their past accomplishments and accolades no longer count and are worth diddly-squat?  It’s not human nature to acknowledge that I have no righteousness of my own, but I must win Christ and be found in Him.  I certainly breezed past those “fellowship of His sufferings” and “being made conformable unto His death” parts.  Death sounded mighty final – because IT IS.  Death – not sexy, not glamorous, but unavoidable, certain, and inescapable.  The portal through which I must pass to gain His life – life eternal.

My pastor recently told us to allow God to “blow some things up in us,” things that have been entrenched and deep-seated.  Detonation’s after-effects are destruction.  Who wants to go rummaging and rambling through rubble attempting to salvage the past?  In that respect, I suppose it’s just easier to start over again.  This level of self-disclosure is getting painfully more uncomfortable.  It was already beyond my control, but now everything is open season.  Why?  Because God will get the return on His investment.  If He put me here in the earth and gave me a specific assignment, I’d better get to getting’.  Hear that?  It’s the sound of the rubber meeting the road.

The suffering of the multitudes impacted by the Haitian earthquake has been prominently displayed in the news – and rightfully so.  Hopefully, it has provoked us to intense gratitude for what we already have…so much.  My prayer is that His perfect will be made manifest even in the midst of what seems to be a desolate and overwhelming situation.  He comes through in extraordinary times like this, you know!

“But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.”

(Philippians 3:7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Razed Before Being Raised

What a timely title in light of our prayers for the people impacted by the Haiti earthquake.  Selah.

Completely torn down.  That’s what I’ve come face to face with regarding my past, and it’s a bit bizarre.  When you think your past was okay, or really cool, then you get a breaking news update that you’ve gotta let it go, it can be unsettling.  Perhaps that’s why I hadn’t written much in the new year to post – because I could see change a-comin’ but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Throwing “but I used to…” out of one’s vocabulary can be disconcerting – nevertheless, it’s needful.  Something on a recent makeover and personal transformation show really resonated with me, “You have to let go of who you were to embrace who you’re becoming.”  Not so “deep” when referring to fashion sense or a style philosophy, but at that moment, it was profound for me.

Another culminating “Twilight Zone” moment occurred this weekend when my children were playing VHS tapes of me from high school…1993 to be exact.  As my maiden name flashed up on the screen during an interview about a scholarship I’d won, my children asked, “Who is that?!”  Yes dear ones, who is that, indeed. 

So this year unfolds with yet another set of opportunities to emerge as that new creature in Christ.  Old things are passed away.  So what’s next?  I’m not quite sure.  But I do know that when spiritual demolition is complete, the new building that rises from below ground level is more impressive, more updated, and more sturdy than what formerly occupied the space.  In this I take comfort.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Perks of Faithfulness

Gratefully, we arrived safely in Myrtle Beach, SC for our 9th anniversary getaway through a mega-rainstorm (termed by The Weather Channel as the East Coast’s “Winter Wollop 2009”).  At least we were driving away from the direction where snow was forecast. Our reservation (at the hotel where we’d celebrated the previous 2 anniversaries) had been made well in advance.  My hubby had graciously done all the driving (perhaps he didn’t trust the combination of my 20/15 LASIK vision with darkness, torrents of rain, and questionable windshield wiper performance), so he was ready to get comfortable.  He quickly unpacked, then prepared for a shower.  The water ran cold for 5 minutes, and the sink and tub drains were clogged – what a welcome!  He asked me to call the front desk.  I did. 

The gentleman who answered placed me on hold.  After I’d waited patiently for over 2 minutes (sorta), my husband took the phone from me – ready to get some results.  When the hotel staffer got back on the line, my hubby relayed the situation to him.  The man noted how unfortunate it was for us that we were on the side of the building where the water often heats up slowly…I won’t even begin to express my incredulosity and more than slight irritation that he already knew they had an issue with this.  He offered to send someone up immediately to unclog the drains, but we’d still have tepid water temperature.  Calm and collected, my husband asked what he could do for us since this was our anniversary weekend and we’d received good service during our prior visits.  The hotel staffer (finally) offered to move us to another room, which my tired husband was a little more than hesitant to accept.  We were on the top floor, and no other rooms were available on that floor.  The man said, “I can put you in a Junior King Suite with a balcony two floors below” (never mind that it was cold and pouring rain outside).  I vigorously nodded my head “yes!” and my hubby reluctantly accepted the inconvenience of relocating.  After he re-dressed and re-packed, we dragged our bags back down to the front desk to get the new keys we’d been reassigned.  The man assured us we’d like the room.

When we arrived in the suite, we were pleasantly surprised at the level of upgrade we’d received; the suite was triple the size of our initial room, had more than ample walking space, plus a separate sitting area and a Jacuzzi.  Additionally, there was an internet connecting wire (conspicuously missing from the other room) and an even more spectacular ocean view from a different vantage point.  We were well-pleased and started the hot water.  I ambled over to glance at the door and discovered that our suite would normally charge at $1,000 a night for single occupancy and $1,200 a night for double occupancy.  I was amazed and share that info with my hubby; we blessed the Lord together as we reflected on the $80 per night we’d booked at online.  We opted to order something light from room service instead of braving the wind blowing rain sideways.  It was worth the $39 – an elegant serving table complete with cloth tablecloth and napkins rolled in with crab bisque, chicken strips, and French fries for both of us.  Delightful.

Upon check-in, we’d been given complimentary breakfast tickets for both days of our stay that cancelled our need to trek down the street to the local pancake dive.  At about $20 value each day, it more than nicely made up for the $5 daily parking fee in the adjacent garage.  The next evening, we went for a lovely early dinner at our favorite beach restaurant (early in the week, I’d signed up online and received a $5 coupon – cha-ching!).  We got a great server (with no attitude – priceless) and were told we’d receive a complimentary bananas foster ($7.99 value) for dessert since we were celebrating our anniversary with them.  We arrived before 5:00 p.m. and ordered from the lunch menu – our specials (catfish fillet prepared 3 ways; salad included) were executed in excellence.

What can I say about the work it took to get to a lovely weekend where we just enjoyed each other’s company and laughed a LOT?  Perseverance pays off.  We had a blast – each of us accompanied by our best friend – relaxing and taking a break from our daily routine….not to mention sinking into the pillow-top king bed, duvet covers, and down pillows.  Scrumptious.

Our children are safe, well-cared for, and having a fun time with dear family friends.  Mommy and Daddy have become “honey” and “baby” and didn’t have to fix anyone Saturday cereal at 7:00 a.m. while pleading for an 1 more hour of sleep.  Instead, this weekend, we got to reap the fruit of hard work and commitment to living daily in a godly marriage.  I’m glad we’re faithful to God and to each other.  It’s definitely worth it.  The rewards and perks of this weekend were just icing on the cake.  Bon appetit!

© Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

“Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”

(Psalm 37:3-5)

Demolition Cometh: Make Room for Progress

Have you ever noticed how unattentive you really are?  This week, I got a good reminder. 

There used to be a Subway restaurant across the street from the train station I wait at twice a day, five times a week.  I didn’t realize the Subway had moved or otherwise gone out of business until two days ago when I became painfully aware that a significant portion of the strip mall was missing, occupied instead by a wrecking machine.  “Wow,” I thought to myself.  “When did all of this happen?!  I pass this site twice a day and had no clue it was gonna be knocked down.”  Perhaps the land would be deemed more valuable without the structure currently standing on it, but it was a decision that had been made previously by the “powers that be;” I’m sure they had to obtain permits and permissions, and finally, I was witnessing the execution of a plan.  And it was going quickly.  It seemed so…destructive.  And final.  But I suppose that’s what’s necessary before progress takes place.  Out with the old and in with the new…

What negative habits and restrictive thought patterns need to get torn down from your 2009 mindset before you leap into 2010?  Don’t try to do “historic preservation” on something that would be better off demolished.  After all, progress cometh…if you allow it.  Let God do a new thing in you – starting today.  Start right now.

© Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

 “And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old.”

(Luke 5:36)