reflection

The Bill of Lading: Putting Down Burdens That Weren’t Mine to Begin With

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So I called the “Calgon – take me away!” hotline today, slightly dismayed to find out the line was busy…imagine that!  Here I am clamoring and clawing in desperation for someone to stop the dizzying, frenetic pace of the merry-go-round of a schedule I feel stuck on, only to realize in a flash of clarity that I am the person who can make it stop.  That’s a rather empowering realization.

Once again, I got caught up in a cycle of madness, only to return to the footstool of Jesus – bedraggled, worn, and spent – asking Him to restore me.  I could just imagine His eyes twinkling as He gently admonished, “Since you’ve finished trying to do My job, are you ready to try it My way now?”

Maturity has taught me that I don’t have to be near a breakdown to have these creatively inspired, introspective, pensively poetic moments…but you’ve gotta admit, it makes for good reading!  🙂

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Humbly Clothed in Strength and Honor

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In spite of all my incessant ranting, raving, cajoling, and coaxing, “Take your baths…put your laundry in the hamper…brush your teeth…put Vaseline on your lips…turn the light out!” my children opened their precious hearts to unexpectedly bless me this evening.

As my daughter oohed and aahed over the results of yesterday’s $15 mani/pedi from the local beauty school, she summoned her brother to look at the fancy little design adorning my usually plain nails.  He liked them, too.  I felt special to be the center of their attention at the same time!  Then I glanced down at my legs and realized how ashy they were.  Like a broken record, I’m always reminding the children to put lotion on their legs and arms, and here I was able to scratch my name into my skin with a fingernail.  I sheepishly acknowledged that Mommy needed some lotion.

My son chirped, “I’ll put some on you, Mommy!”  Not to be outdone, my daughter ran to get the lotion bottle first and she started working on one leg.  I melted, reminiscing on the times I’d put lotion on their legs, too numerous to count.  My son went to get another bottle of lotion and started applying it to my feet.  If that wasn’t a modern day foot-washing or Alabaster Box moment, I don’t know what is!  It made the energy and effort put into serving God’s smallest people all the more worth it.  They beamed as they saw the smile spread across my face while they served with gladness.  Overwhelmed, I could see that they were following my example.  And their little warm hands were every bit as nice as the nail tech’s – with an extra dollop of love and a splash of affection added.  🙂

Even in light of my “fancy nails,” (which I’m enjoying as a fabulous departure from the ordinary), I believe that strength and honor are the most important things I can wear in the presence of my children.  By their actions, they rose up and called me blessed.  This moment combined with the faint trace of a rainbow I glimpsed this afternoon to create the closing of an utterly beautiful day.  I received it as a miracle.

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

(Proverbs 31:25-28)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

In Awe of Simple Beauty: Rainbows and Snow Shows

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I saw a rainbow this week (twice!!!) and I squealed with childlike delight and glee as I remembered how much God loves me.  In the seemingly mundane moment of walking from the commuter train to my car, I caught a glimpse of glory.  Time stood still, and I stood in awe of God’s greatness.  He pulled back heaven’s curtain long enough for me to be tickled pink in the midst of my daily routine.  Trust me – I appreciated the departure from the ordinary.  🙂

As if that weren’t enough, the rainbow was a precursor to some (more) unexpected snow…as my son called it, “the snow show.”  I thought that was a fitting description of the ensuing weather production, because God truly displayed His power through the tiny flakes.  How cleansing it was to stand in the midst of what started as tiny flurries grazing my eyelashes, but rapidly turned into an all-out snowfall.  I celebrated as His presence engulfed me…then I scurried inside to watch the accumulation from the safety of the other side of the window.

What “little thing” has touched your life lately?  This week, make a point to enjoy the wonderment of youthful astonishment.  God is speaking all around…are you listening?

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”

(Isaiah 55:9-11)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of A Deliberate Decision

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I’m experiencing a shift and a realignment – both in the spirit and in the natural.  Today, I realized how very happy I really am.  I awoke on my Saturday at 6:00 a.m. and actually wanted to stay up!  Granted, I didn’t stay up (anyone who knows me is aware of how much I value those few-and-far-between opportunities to sleep late), but the excitement bubbling inside could’ve kept me up.  Instead of watching TV, I worked…I guess that’s what a little motivation will do for you!  I can see how much time (or productivity) unconscious, mindless TV watching has drained from me fulfilling my God-given purpose. 

And eating – that’s changed for me, too.  I used to love eating rich meals with my slim and well-proportioned husband.  While his metabolism burned off whatever touched his lips, calories and fat seemed to obstinately accumulate on my hips (and all sites north and south of that vicinity).  It was a common way I used to fellowship, but now I’ve made some deliberate decisions about where I want to be and what it will take for me (not someone else) to maintain a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.  I passed up his special Super Bowl baked beans laden with ground beef and sausage.  Instead of feeling deprived, I knew my innards thanked me.  And now when I hear the tinkling of his spoon in the ice cream bowl, I don’t even flinch – to God be the glory!  So this is what it means to make a decision and stick with it, huh?    What a novel concept!

I’m growing in confidence that the decisions I make are good for me, not requiring (as much!) affirmation or validation from others because I’m the one who has to live with my decisions.  I’ll admit that sometimes it helps to have a nudge in the right direction from a supportive friend.  Yet, I can’t get caught up in the comfort of company or companionship.  Some paths are meant to be traveled in solitude and reflection.  Like the journey of becoming. 

After having lived to utterly please others for so long, this is indeed a new way of traveling.  I feel lighter already.  Bye-bye excess baggage…I see a place for you to be unloaded.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of a Compassionate Word

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Are you available when opportunity knocks – whether it benefits you or someone else?  Openings to share the love of Christ often show up in the most unexpected ways – at least they do in my life.  Take the other day, for instance, when I headed to the bank during my lunch break.  I wasn’t in a rush, but I wasn’t meandering either.  Then I noticed him – a brother puffing on a cigarette.

I’ve seen him on several occasions around the building I work in.  I suppose this time, I just felt compelled to speak to him.  Before I knew it, I boldly implored, “Brother, what are ya doin’ to yourself?!  I want you to have healthy, pink lungs.  You know we need all the Black men we’ve got!  I love Black men – I’ve got 2 of ‘em at home myself – a husband AND a son.”  At that instant, he dropped it on the ground and crushed it under his well-worn work shoe.  Stunned, I kinda did a double-take and asked, “What made you do that?” to which he responded, “What can I say to that?  I’ve gotta put it out.”  In my book, that was all the thanks I needed. 

I headed to the bank with new amazement for the sovereignty of God at work.  I was overwhelmed that He would use me to touch this brother’s life.  And humbled.  Though I’m definitely smoke-averse, I’m no caped crusader running around extinguishing every tobacco product I see.  (I wasn’t consciously aware that my impassioned plea might have been my personal kickoff for Black History Month).

As my dad (who works in a public high school) says about one of the students he reached out to, “I may not be able to save ‘em all, but he was my starfish that I threw back into the sea.  I made a difference to him.”  The entire world is waiting for us to show the compassion of Christ.  Sometimes that simply means taking the time to say a kind word – filled with the power and boldness of His Word.  I’m glad God answered my morning prayer, ordered my steps, and gave me an opportunity to share HIM with someone that day.  And I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

(Mark 11:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A New Way of Walking

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This is very different indeed.  I used to think I owed it to myself to worry.  Yet, worrying accomplishes nothing productive.  And I’ve discovered that the less I obsess about something, the shorter time it takes for it to work itself out.  Amazing, isn’t it?  I know it sounds silly, but many of us live a significant portion of our lives – too much – wondering about what’s up the road and around the corner.

See, I’m a planner by nature.  Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to give me a husband who is very action-oriented.  Whenever he sees my eyebrows lift and my forehead start to crinkle up, he asks me, “What’s wrong, and what can you do about it?”  Not once does he join me in my grandiose “what if” planning, thinking, pondering, and contemplating until I’m completely preoccupied with the mental chess game I’ve set up inside my noggin in 10 seconds flat.  Instead, he gently guides me to think about the things I do have control over to modify whatever situation I may be facing.

So in this season, I’m resting in Christ, knowing that His Word illuminates the path I am to walk – and I don’t have to worry about it…at all.  As long as I walk in obedience, I’ll reach the destination He has appointed for me.

“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”

(Jeremiah 6:16)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Stop Stressin’!

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When God takes anxiety from you, you may realize that the situation hasn’t changed, but your response to the situation has changed.  How grateful I am to acknowledge that moment in our household finances.  Gone is the angst of wondering, “What’s coming next?”  The struggle with my spouse has subsided as he takes his rightful place as head of the household and I stay in my place of peace as his helpmeet.  As he has been educated in leading us along a sound, balanced path – financially and spiritually – I must move from fretfulness to trust.  I trust God to lead my husband.  Why?

My responsibility is to be a woman committed to prayer and intercession, asking God to impart His direction to my husband for our home.  This takes a lot of pressure off of me – the pseudo-SuperWoman trying to shoulder the load myself…yeah, the load never intended for me to carry!  It is certainly a different approach.  And the results are a breath of fresh air – order, rest, and joy.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 4:6-7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A Modern Parable: Stay Connected to the Power Source

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There once was a state-of-the-art iron with all the bells and whistles available on the market – and then some.  There was just one problem on this day:  try as she might, she couldn’t get any wrinkles out the clothes placed in front of her.  After much frustration, angst, and inner turmoil, she finally noticed that her cord wasn’t plugged in.  She realized the reason she wasn’t hot anymore was because she was no longer connected to her power source.

When she reconnected, steam poured out, she whisked through piles of clothes, and was able to fulfill her manufacturer’s given purpose.  Instead of just looking like an iron, she was functioning, performing, and executing exactly as she was supposed to – a top-of-the-line iron.

 Do you ever have days when you feel like that iron did?  When you look the part but are unable to deliver?  Reconnect to your Source of power and see the difference staying connected makes.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

(John 15:5, NIV)

* This is whimsical because anyone who knows me understands that I advocate wrinkle-free fabrics so I can avoid using irons as much as possible…and it’s ironic that my grandfather actually owned a dry cleaning and alterations shop…maybe that gene didn’t get passed to me!  But when God speaks, who am I to edit Him?  🙂

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Loss or Gain?

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I never connected to Philippians 3 like this before.  Who wants to say that their past accomplishments and accolades no longer count and are worth diddly-squat?  It’s not human nature to acknowledge that I have no righteousness of my own, but I must win Christ and be found in Him.  I certainly breezed past those “fellowship of His sufferings” and “being made conformable unto His death” parts.  Death sounded mighty final – because IT IS.  Death – not sexy, not glamorous, but unavoidable, certain, and inescapable.  The portal through which I must pass to gain His life – life eternal.

My pastor recently told us to allow God to “blow some things up in us,” things that have been entrenched and deep-seated.  Detonation’s after-effects are destruction.  Who wants to go rummaging and rambling through rubble attempting to salvage the past?  In that respect, I suppose it’s just easier to start over again.  This level of self-disclosure is getting painfully more uncomfortable.  It was already beyond my control, but now everything is open season.  Why?  Because God will get the return on His investment.  If He put me here in the earth and gave me a specific assignment, I’d better get to getting’.  Hear that?  It’s the sound of the rubber meeting the road.

The suffering of the multitudes impacted by the Haitian earthquake has been prominently displayed in the news – and rightfully so.  Hopefully, it has provoked us to intense gratitude for what we already have…so much.  My prayer is that His perfect will be made manifest even in the midst of what seems to be a desolate and overwhelming situation.  He comes through in extraordinary times like this, you know!

“But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.”

(Philippians 3:7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Razed Before Being Raised

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What a timely title in light of our prayers for the people impacted by the Haiti earthquake.  Selah.

Completely torn down.  That’s what I’ve come face to face with regarding my past, and it’s a bit bizarre.  When you think your past was okay, or really cool, then you get a breaking news update that you’ve gotta let it go, it can be unsettling.  Perhaps that’s why I hadn’t written much in the new year to post – because I could see change a-comin’ but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Throwing “but I used to…” out of one’s vocabulary can be disconcerting – nevertheless, it’s needful.  Something on a recent makeover and personal transformation show really resonated with me, “You have to let go of who you were to embrace who you’re becoming.”  Not so “deep” when referring to fashion sense or a style philosophy, but at that moment, it was profound for me.

Another culminating “Twilight Zone” moment occurred this weekend when my children were playing VHS tapes of me from high school…1993 to be exact.  As my maiden name flashed up on the screen during an interview about a scholarship I’d won, my children asked, “Who is that?!”  Yes dear ones, who is that, indeed. 

So this year unfolds with yet another set of opportunities to emerge as that new creature in Christ.  Old things are passed away.  So what’s next?  I’m not quite sure.  But I do know that when spiritual demolition is complete, the new building that rises from below ground level is more impressive, more updated, and more sturdy than what formerly occupied the space.  In this I take comfort.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart