thankfulness

Real Love In Action IS Action

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I’m just sayin’…

Real love makes you pan fry fish on a weeknight at your spouse’s request.  Without grumbling.  Or rolling your eyes…at least not a lot.  After you’ve worked all day – and he has, too.  When you were excited that there was already a meal prepared during your massive amounts of weekend free time (NOT!) and waiting in the fridge.  So you were planning to kinda chill out after checking homework, facilitating bath time, reading bedtime stories, and tucking children in.  And you’re on Weight Watchers and you know that you don’t need to have fried food.  Even though you put some fish in the oven to bake it for yourself.  Because it’s healthier.  And you didn’t get to exercise today because you forgot about the lunch meeting with co-workers on your calendar during your workout time.  And you “treated” yourself to french fries then when you didn’t really need ‘em.

But you’re a southern chef (sort of) and naturally, you taste while you cook.  So at least you eat more baked fish than fried fish once it’s all cooked.  And you’re happy to serve your spouse with a smile. Because you’re grateful that God has blessed you with this particular spouse.  Even though it would’ve been a little (okay, maybe a lot) easier to make a healthier choice if your spouse had asked for baked fish.  But you love your spouse and you want them to have what they ask for.  With hot sauce, of course.  Did I mention that the baked fish was really good, but the fried fish was slammin’?

Real love in action.  Know what I’m sayin’?  Yeah, that also includes my workout tomorrow…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(I Corinthians 13:13, NIV) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Are You Blessable?

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What a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend I enjoyed, surrounded by my munchkins and their daddy…and saturated, drenched, and overwhelmed with lots of love. 

My crew nearly had to alligator wrestle me into going out to breakfast on Saturday morning.  What can I say?  I’m genetically predisposed to think it’s much easier and less expensive for me to make pancakes at home than for us to sit in a restaurant that obviously doesn’t add “mama’s love” as an essential ingredient.  Though I was quite delighted and content with the colorful array of homemade cards and paper flowers that came home from school on Friday, I finally gave in and we headed to breakfast.  I knew they wanted to show their appreciation for me, but it was hard not to orchestrate all the details – since that’s what we moms do 24/7!  I ended up enjoying myself.

Saturday afternoon, the Women’s Fellowship at my church visited a local women’s shelter to make arts and crafts with the residents’ children so they could give their mothers a gift for the holiday.  I saw a range of expressions on the children’s faces, and I was even more grateful to have a home where I could raise and nurture my own children.  Outreach to others is key for balanced perspective maintenance.

On Sunday morning came the biggest surprise of all.  As my family walked into church, the men of the church (lined up like an Honor Guard) welcomed each woman with a single wrapped rose and directed her to a continental breakfast prepared in the Fellowship Hall – completely unexpected.  The brothers looked sharp!  I had no idea that the black suit, white shirt, and black tie look my hubby sported had been planned, let alone coordinated with the other men of the church for weeks…impressive.

After savoring a donut I didn’t need, I headed to the sanctuary to prepare for my role as choir director.  My pastor stopped me to say that we didn’t need to put on choir robes until after he made his opening announcement.  No prob – I adjusted my microphone to my 5’0” frame and handed the sound booth tech my CD for the sermonic solo, then headed to Sunday School.  An hour later, I was seated in the congregation, awaiting Pastor’s announcement before taking my place in the choir stand.  Wasn’t I surprised to see eight brothers – including my hubby – file up to the choir stand and begin the Praise & Worship service?  I thought, “Well, when they finish this song, I’ll get in place.”  But they just kept on singing (with my short microphone in front of a tall brother) – and they sounded good!  They’d been rehearsing for weeks…unbeknownst to me!  What a splendid gift to be able to bask in God’s presence and enjoy intimate worship during a break from serving.  I’m glad a box of tissues was nearby; tears flowed freely down my cheeks until the sermon began.  I was truly touched, and I experienced the love of God poured out through the actions of His people – His men.

That morning, I had planned to perform my regular routine, but God had fantastic surprises in store for me.  Are you able to receive the blessings He’s ready to bestow upon you?  Allow His pure love to soften your heart so you don’t miss one goodie!

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

(I Corinthians 2:9)

 “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

(Psalm 37:4)

 “…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6b)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Mothering is an Action Word

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Guess what?  The baby robins have hatched!  After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning.  Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with.  Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides.  This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action.  The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error.  We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering. 

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences!  Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique.  I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold.  I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers.  Just days away from her 5th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes.  She is growing up – and where did the time go?!  Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂  Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.  

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day.  Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day!  May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy.  Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Intrinsic Value

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Along with planting a vegetable (and fruit) garden, my wonderful hubby has decided to create a bird sanctuary…in our backyard.  It’s a rather noble endeavor, because our children seem to enjoy seeing wildlife up close and personal (with the exception of the opossum duly noted in my previous blog entry).  And surprisingly enough for this indoors-loving bookworm, so am I.

One birdfeeder obviously wasn’t enough, so he headed to the home improvement store to purchase 2 more seed feeders, plus a nectar feeder because he “wanted to see some hummingbirds.”  Isn’t it fantastic when we can appreciate God’s creation with childlike fascination?  “Indeed, he is a compassionate man,” I noted as he strategically placed the full feeders throughout the yard and secured them with hooks.  I would’ve casually tossed out some stale bread crusts, deemed it a community service event benefitting the environment, and called it a day. 

But he must be rubbing off on me – and leading by example – since I found myself talking to a tiny bird while waiting for the train yesterday.  I even offered it some seed if it could find its way to my house…but of course, it wouldn’t find my house, now would it?  As the bird flew away, I remembered that my signature solo wherever I sang as a teenager – many moons ago – was “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”  Then I experienced one of those epiphanic moments of understanding when everything converges all at once and in one place – and I remembered how truly special I am to God.  “He’s been thinking about me for all these years!” I gasped.  Have you considered that lately?  Take a moment to gratefully reflect on what He’s been saying to you this week…you may see what you’re really worth in a different light.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.”

(Luke 12:6-7, Amplified Bible)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Less is More

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I should’ve known God was up to something that would create major change in me.  You know what tipped me off?  It wasn’t one particular “struck with a lightning bolt” moment.  But it was a gradual realization of, “Hey – something is different here!”  That “something different” is the reason I haven’t visited my co-workers’ candy dishes since the Christmas holidays…who knew that 20 miniature chocolates in one week (or in one day) would add up on your hips if left unattended???  Right – I should’ve known then, but now I know better, and I do better.  Allow me to share a couple of observations.

About a month ago, we went to a restaurant that serves chocolate mints after dinner.  Our server was kind enough to give us 2 for each person.  Now I remember a day when I would’ve taken the mints from my children so I could have more (I hate to admit it, but I guess that’s hoarding).  This time, I reached (out of habit) for one mint, then subconsciously jerked my hand back.  I remembered, “That was my old way of doing things; I really don’t want that candy, nor do I need the extra calories…nor do I desire to eat one and end up with an urge to finish off the rest of them.”  My family didn’t notice my mental conversation, but I did.  And I’m proud to report that the candies my children didn’t eat are still in a drawer in my kitchen.  I see them when I pull out twist ties, and they’re safe – it’s not even a temptation anymore.  I am grateful for God changing me from the inside out. 

As if to prove that it wasn’t a one-time deal, another test-type situation presented itself one afternoon at work.  I headed to the break room to refill my water bottle, passing by the “free” coffee and rich, calorie-laden hot cocoa.  Then I saw them – leftover cookies from a meeting.  Neatly preserved in a box.  And nobody was looking.  Oh sure, they’d been put there for anyone to help themselves – but that someone didn’t have to be me!  I took a peek to see what flavor presented itself – livin’ on the edge, right?  Peanut butter, with visible peanut butter chip chunks.  “Hmmm,” I mused as I inhaled, noticing how soft the cookies looked.  “Peanuts are healthy,” I reasoned.  Then I snapped back to reality, shut the box, and walked back to my desk with my full water bottle.  I didn’t really want or need a cookie, and that wasn’t what I’d gone to the break room for anyway.  I acknowledged it as just a distraction.  Kayren – 1 point, cookies – zero. God had made a way of escape for me. This time – thankfully – I took it.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

(I Corinthians 10:13)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

In Awe of Simple Beauty: Rainbows and Snow Shows

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I saw a rainbow this week (twice!!!) and I squealed with childlike delight and glee as I remembered how much God loves me.  In the seemingly mundane moment of walking from the commuter train to my car, I caught a glimpse of glory.  Time stood still, and I stood in awe of God’s greatness.  He pulled back heaven’s curtain long enough for me to be tickled pink in the midst of my daily routine.  Trust me – I appreciated the departure from the ordinary.  🙂

As if that weren’t enough, the rainbow was a precursor to some (more) unexpected snow…as my son called it, “the snow show.”  I thought that was a fitting description of the ensuing weather production, because God truly displayed His power through the tiny flakes.  How cleansing it was to stand in the midst of what started as tiny flurries grazing my eyelashes, but rapidly turned into an all-out snowfall.  I celebrated as His presence engulfed me…then I scurried inside to watch the accumulation from the safety of the other side of the window.

What “little thing” has touched your life lately?  This week, make a point to enjoy the wonderment of youthful astonishment.  God is speaking all around…are you listening?

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”

(Isaiah 55:9-11)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of a Compassionate Word

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Are you available when opportunity knocks – whether it benefits you or someone else?  Openings to share the love of Christ often show up in the most unexpected ways – at least they do in my life.  Take the other day, for instance, when I headed to the bank during my lunch break.  I wasn’t in a rush, but I wasn’t meandering either.  Then I noticed him – a brother puffing on a cigarette.

I’ve seen him on several occasions around the building I work in.  I suppose this time, I just felt compelled to speak to him.  Before I knew it, I boldly implored, “Brother, what are ya doin’ to yourself?!  I want you to have healthy, pink lungs.  You know we need all the Black men we’ve got!  I love Black men – I’ve got 2 of ‘em at home myself – a husband AND a son.”  At that instant, he dropped it on the ground and crushed it under his well-worn work shoe.  Stunned, I kinda did a double-take and asked, “What made you do that?” to which he responded, “What can I say to that?  I’ve gotta put it out.”  In my book, that was all the thanks I needed. 

I headed to the bank with new amazement for the sovereignty of God at work.  I was overwhelmed that He would use me to touch this brother’s life.  And humbled.  Though I’m definitely smoke-averse, I’m no caped crusader running around extinguishing every tobacco product I see.  (I wasn’t consciously aware that my impassioned plea might have been my personal kickoff for Black History Month).

As my dad (who works in a public high school) says about one of the students he reached out to, “I may not be able to save ‘em all, but he was my starfish that I threw back into the sea.  I made a difference to him.”  The entire world is waiting for us to show the compassion of Christ.  Sometimes that simply means taking the time to say a kind word – filled with the power and boldness of His Word.  I’m glad God answered my morning prayer, ordered my steps, and gave me an opportunity to share HIM with someone that day.  And I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

(Mark 11:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

A New Way of Walking

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This is very different indeed.  I used to think I owed it to myself to worry.  Yet, worrying accomplishes nothing productive.  And I’ve discovered that the less I obsess about something, the shorter time it takes for it to work itself out.  Amazing, isn’t it?  I know it sounds silly, but many of us live a significant portion of our lives – too much – wondering about what’s up the road and around the corner.

See, I’m a planner by nature.  Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to give me a husband who is very action-oriented.  Whenever he sees my eyebrows lift and my forehead start to crinkle up, he asks me, “What’s wrong, and what can you do about it?”  Not once does he join me in my grandiose “what if” planning, thinking, pondering, and contemplating until I’m completely preoccupied with the mental chess game I’ve set up inside my noggin in 10 seconds flat.  Instead, he gently guides me to think about the things I do have control over to modify whatever situation I may be facing.

So in this season, I’m resting in Christ, knowing that His Word illuminates the path I am to walk – and I don’t have to worry about it…at all.  As long as I walk in obedience, I’ll reach the destination He has appointed for me.

“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”

(Jeremiah 6:16)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Stop Stressin’!

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When God takes anxiety from you, you may realize that the situation hasn’t changed, but your response to the situation has changed.  How grateful I am to acknowledge that moment in our household finances.  Gone is the angst of wondering, “What’s coming next?”  The struggle with my spouse has subsided as he takes his rightful place as head of the household and I stay in my place of peace as his helpmeet.  As he has been educated in leading us along a sound, balanced path – financially and spiritually – I must move from fretfulness to trust.  I trust God to lead my husband.  Why?

My responsibility is to be a woman committed to prayer and intercession, asking God to impart His direction to my husband for our home.  This takes a lot of pressure off of me – the pseudo-SuperWoman trying to shoulder the load myself…yeah, the load never intended for me to carry!  It is certainly a different approach.  And the results are a breath of fresh air – order, rest, and joy.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

(Philippians 4:6-7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

To Tell the Tooth

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“Mom, I’m ready for this tooth to come out!  Can you pull it, please?”  Ugh!  I was so proud that Friday night’s gourmet grilled cheese dinner with carrot sticks and celery spears was finished, both children were bathed, and things were going smoothly until my reverie was interrupted by reality.  Why do I always have to be the one to pull this child’s loose tooth?  I had a flashback to the last time this happened during our tightly-orchestrated morning routine.  I survived – actually with flying colors; we even stayed on schedule!  It reminded me that mothers can do anything and miracles still happen every day. 

This time I tried a little psychology to postpone the inevitable.  “Did you ask Mr. Tooth if he’s ready to come out?”  Uh huh.  (Of course he’d say that; I’d better try something else).  “What did he say?”  He said ‘yes.’  “Well, I didn’t hear him say anything; are you sure?”  Yes!  Note to self: Rationalization doesn’t work real well with almost-seven year-olds.

So I hunkered down and summoned the strength that only God can give (because we all know there’s no such thing as the “tooth fairy” – no matter what they may have told you…sorry to burst any bubbles here).  Wielding the magnifying mirror so my son could witness being the science project of the hour, I got some spare cotton from a bottle of vitamins, folded it over, and told him to count to three.  On cue, out came the tiny baby tooth.  The cotton plugged the fresh red hole.  My son was beaming.  I guess I’m a heroine, and I’ve just earned an honorary DDS.  All is well.  God is gracious and kind.  And Daddy will be home soon…

“For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.”

(Proverbs 8:7)

 My Son’s Bedtime Prayer Tonight:

“Dear God, thank You for my tooth that came out, and for the tooth that will grow back…”  That just about sums it up.  Whenever something is taken away, something else – often better, stronger, and permanent – is added.  May we all find comfort in the tooth of this matter…uh, I mean truth.  🙂

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart