time management

Taking Inventory, Measuring Growth

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What a full year it’s been; I have MUCH to be thankful for – and I’m sure you do, too! The “Watch Me Grow” chart with the giraffe comes to mind – you know, the one where a parent measures how tall their child is growing every so often? It felt like God kept His spiritual measuring stick handy for me in 2016, but thinking back over the year, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every step of the journey was preparation for what is yet to come.

In retrospect, God has kept my family through one transition after another, and I am grateful. One of the most significant adjustments was the mid-year 180⁰ career change of my spouse. Prior to that, God sustained us during a stint when my hardworking hubby endured a 3rd Shift role with valiant strength and dogged determination that ministered volumes to our family and friends alike. Both children are in middle school and are successfully navigating those potentially turbulent waters with the God’s grace, parental patience, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance and protection. Were things perfect in my family this year? By no means – but I am a witness that consistently-applied discipline DOES indeed bring forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness! 🙂

I’ve put a renewed focus on my personal role within the ministry of marriage as we celebrated our “Sweet 16 Wedding Anniversary” for an entire month. As I committed to make my 40th year on the planet fabulous every day (and it has a wonderful celebration filled with glitter, laughter, tears, and joy!), I learned that a sign of true maturity is to admit the things I don’t know (and to be okay with it) – this was a liberating epiphany (especially since I consider myself to be a planner extraordinaire)! I’ve learned to embrace where I am at this specific point in time instead of allowing dissatisfaction to propel me to attempt to achieve some unrealistic and elusive goal that was never mine to begin with.

We’ve mended bridges with family members and friends, realizing that time really does heal all wounds, even though it doesn’t change the past. I’ve learned to extend forgiveness proportional to the amount of times I need to ask for it.

I’ve diligently worked on holding my tongue so I don’t respond before thinking (as much…trust me, this is progress for someone with my DNA – LOL). I’m doing this not through clenched and gritted teeth to “finally take that vow of silence I’ve been threatening forever” (but been woefully unable to make good on – it’s in the genes; what can I say?!). Now, this refined behavior comes from a primary desire to please God and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to be manifested in every facet of my life.

Sometimes we can’t see how much we’ve grown because it’s like waiting for a flower to bloom 5 minutes after we dropped the seed into the dirt – or more accurately, it’s like watching paint dry. We’re too close to the action to be able to fully absorb the progress. Yet, by stepping back with objective observation through a time lapse lens, we notice the flower unfurl, the seed begin to sprout and bring forth abundance, and our personal growth and development come forth according to God’s Word. I encourage you to take inventory of your own growth over this past year – you may be surprised to see that, though you’re not where you intend to be, you’ve far surpassed your starting point…and this, my friend, is indeed praiseworthy!

Join me in looking ahead to a new year full of promise and potential with joyful anticipation…God’s best is yet to come!

“20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
(Lamentations 3:20-26)

 © Copyright 2016 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Back to Basics: Sufficiency, Satiety, and Satisfaction

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satiety – the quality or state of being fed or gratified to or beyond capacity; the revulsion or disgust caused by overindulgence or excess

Do we really believe that God is big enough to supply all of our needs, fulfill us, and satisfy us? Do we rest in the fact that He is able to provide for us spiritually, emotionally, financially, and physically – in an all-encompassing way? If so, we have a strange way of walking by faith in the fact that what we currently have is a-plenty. When we’re honest with ourselves, we can admit that we often see inconsistencies in ourselves before others do.

In today’s American culture, I’m not sure how much “revulsion or disgust” we have for overindulgence or excess. On the contrary, we’re infatuated and obsessed with obtaining “more.” If we watch a 30-minute TV program, we’re tempted by the offer to “binge watch” the entire season of episodes with one effortless download. No consideration of wasting an entire day (or more!) of productivity when we can have a glut of what we just tasted…it’s within easy reach. We want everything better, faster, in greater quantities – and we want it NOW. Even infomercials that offer us “the next big trinket” hook us with the promise of something EVEN BETTER than the fantabulous deal we’re already salivating over, baiting us with the nauseatingly predictable “but wait – there’s MORE…we’ll double your order for FREE if you call within the next 8 minutes!” And you know when they suggest that you give the extra one away as a gift, most of us end up with it sitting in a drawer, under a cabinet, or on a shelf collecting dust for months (or years). Even though we can only use one item at a time, we want more…because we’re never grateful enough to be satisfied with what we already have.

Godliness with contentment is great gain (I Timothy 6:6), but are we ever really content with what we have? Or are we subconsciously striving for “the next thing” instead of valuing our present state? My church’s theme for the past year has been “Looking Unto Jesus to Maximize and Strengthen What We Have.” If we thoughtfully and thoroughly count our blessings, we must realize and conclude that we need to take better stewardship to be effective with what we already have before we receive an additional drop of anything. Before lusting after that new pair of shoes/boots/outfit/purse/jewelry/home décor item, evaluate what we’re doing with the pile of similar items currently occupying our closet or running out of our drawers. I was particularly convicted when I acknowledged that before we’d finished our plenteous Thanksgiving meal leftovers, I was already wondering what we’d have for our Christmas feast. And yes, that type of overindulgence and excess will be taking me straight to the gym next week…and for MANY weeks to come…

As we reflect on the entirety of 2014 rapidly coming to a close, my prayer is that 2015 will be a year in which we fully and wholeheartedly embrace what God has for us – and appreciate it – no matter how it looks. In spite of whatever warped, perverted messages or misrepresentations advertisers and marketers attempt to bombard us with, may we receive the truth in our hearts that Jesus is the only One Who can satisfy, fulfill, and complete us. 

“1 Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
(Psalm 103:1-5)

 © Copyright 2014 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Chronic Disease Alert: Conquer DLS by Resting in the Lord!

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Have you ever suddenly snapped back to consciousness after realizing that you hadn’t been paying attention for the last couple of minutes?  I have.  “Zoning out” can happen when you’re driving, in the midst of a conversation, sitting in a meeting, or in any other variety of scenarios.  Breaking news: you can overcome chronic DLS (Distracted Living Syndrome) by focusing on the Word of God – I’m a witness!

This may not be an earth-shattering report in your opinion, but for me, it was life-changing.  And I only started to notice when I voluntarily cut out some familiar distractions.  You see, as an extremely detail-oriented person, I knew that I was easily distracted by “little things.”  However, I didn’t realize how many “little things” I had allowed to invade my atmosphere…nor was I aware that they were rapidly accumulating.  At that point, I had to decide (consciously or sub-consciously) which distractions to filter out or pay attention to.  That led to a lot of mental exhaustion (and some admittedly ADD/ADHD tendencies), because our minds aren’t designed to constantly process information – at some point, they need to rest.

But in our “24/7 on” society fueled by TV news (or gossip), internet connectivity, roadside billboards, magazine advertisements, computer pop-ups, automated phone calls, text messages, instant messages – and the list goes on – only YOU can draw the line and say when “enough is enough.”  And when you do realize that your cup is about to overflow, I pray that you’ll run to the arms of the Lord to lay every burden at His feet, in exchange for receiving the rest that only He can give.  When we cut out some of the other voices in our ears, we can hear the voice of the Lord with astonishing clarity.  Try it today – unplug from the world and reconnect with your Creator – He’s waiting for you…

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30)

 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
(Isaiah 26:3)

“You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].”
(Isaiah 26:3-4, AMP)

 © Copyright 2013 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change Your Mind: It’s Not a Sin to Be Early!

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This morning, I leisurely sailed through a series of green lights, which put me on the early commuter train.  This opportunity was provided compliments of my children’s bus driver who arrived EARLY.  Since I purposed in my heart to be early this morning, I didn’t have to “run the bus down” (literally) to get my children on it – what a blessing, because I’ve done that on more occasions than I care to admit!  Our regular bus driver is always punctual – and quite often, she is early.  Conversely, our substitute bus driver is always late – consistently and without fail.  Which would you rather be said of you – that you’re dependably timely or that you’re regularly late?

I used to think it was a sin to be early – I know it sounds ridiculous, but in my mind, I thought, “Surely things can’t get started without ME being up in the mix!”  As I’ve matured, I’ve learned that things will pass me right on by if I’m not in proper position on time and prepared, and that I’m not as integral to the world continuing to rotate and revolve as I thought I was.  How humbling!

Challenge yourself to be early for everything you do for an entire day.  Then try it again the next day.  Before you know it, this good habit will have become part of your character – and a strong part of your silent testimony for our faithful God.  Don’t damage the credibility of your witness by “skidding in by the skin of your teeth” or “barely making it in just under the wire.”  Let God give you a transformative “mind makeover”…because you never know who’s watching and taking notice of your actions – and you may enjoy less stress and lower blood pressure, too!

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
(Romans 12:2)

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”
(Philippians 2:5)

 © Copyright 2013 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Delight of Deleting Audio Clutter to Savor the Sound of Silence

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Over the weekend, instead of watching TV while I munched on my afternoon salad, I sat in front of my bedroom window and peered out.  I didn’t see any birds or clouds moving, but guess what I did notice?  A twig on a sapling moving back and forth ever so slightly in the wind.  How serene; it spoke peace to my very spirit.  I ruminated, “If nature’s not in a hurry, why should I be?”  I would’ve never been conscious of something that miniscule with the distraction of an electronic box constantly flashing images at my eyes and blaring background noise into my ears.

This morning, I drove to work at a leisurely pace.  I kept the radio off.  And I relished the delicious sound of silence.  It was absolutely sublime.  I saw my commuter train pulling up as I parked and I decided not to run for it.  (Yes, if I’d run through 2 yellow lights, I could’ve been on that train, but refer to my previous posts – I have turned from my wicked ways!).  So I sat patiently in the (warm) car and waited to get on the next train that would arrive in 10 minutes – no harm, no foul.  I visually absorbed my surroundings before stepping out into the drizzle, and then I faced my morning with a smile instead of a dubiously furrowed brow – or worse yet, the “blahs of another dreaded day in the office.”

I am taking my own advice to SLOW DOWN and invest time to reflect on the beauty God has placed within arm’s length.  Are you?  I encourage you to take notice of something today that you haven’t appreciated lately – a delightful surprise might be closer than you think!

“In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”
(Psalm 94:19)

“Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”
(Psalm 37:4-5)

 © Copyright 2013 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Apprehending the Suspect: Caught Red-Handed

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apprehend – catch, arrest, detain, capture, stop, take in for questioning
suspect – accused, defendant, offender, culprit, perpetrator, wrongdoer, criminal 

En route to work this morning, I got pulled over by the police (cue “Bad Boys” theme music from “Cops”).  Why?  Because of my own impatience and subsequently feeble attempt to justify it in my own mind.  Seeing those bright flashing lights behind me in the dark was sobering – as if being out early in the freezing cold during Daylight Saving Time wasn’t bad enough…

A tightly-choreographed morning schedule that includes me driving across town to jump on a train (that runs at 10-minute intervals) to get to work is contingent on what time my children’s bus arrives – this impacts the number of lights that stop me at intersections, which railroad crossing arms catch me, and what traffic bottlenecks I encounter. So all of these variables inevitably led to my momentary lapse in judgment to run through the almost-lowered railroad crossing arms near my house – after all, it was on the front-end of my morning journey, right?  Wrong…terribly wrong.

The light at the intersection was green, I heard the train’s warning whistle afar off, and I saw the railroad crossing arms flashing as they began to lower.  I was in the left turning lane and would’ve gotten stuck waiting for the train, so I darted into the right lane, under the crossing arms and over the railroad tracks, and waited for the folks to turn left before I did, too – after all, that light was still green though the crossing arms had come down behind me.  So I’m heading smoothly on my regular morning drive when I see those blue flashing lights.  Uh oh…that sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach when I realized “The Man” was indeed signaling ME.  SERIOUS uh oh.  I hadn’t seen a police car at all; then again, in my haste, I honestly hadn’t looked for one.  But ignorance of the law is no excuse…

I pulled over, reached into the glove compartment for my registration, and took my warm hat off my head so wouldn’t look any more “suspicious” than my illegal behavior had already made me.  The officer asked, “Good morning; do you know why I pulled you over?”  I humbly asked, “Why did you pull me over, sir?” He asked, “Did you realize that you sped through the crossing arms, then waited from the right lane to turn left in the middle of the intersection? I was the first one at the railroad crossing, and you passed me!  What’s the big rush this morning?”  I replied, “Yes sir, I did go ahead of the train to get that green light; my children’s bus was late yesterday, and I’m trying to be on time for work today.”  He said with a smile, “It’s better for the boss-man to be upset because you’re late than for you to drive like that.”  I agreed and said, “Or not to arrive at all.” (I’ve been painfully aware of human mortality over the past month, which should have quelled this behavior to begin with).

The officer continued, “I don’t write tickets, but I do lecture a whole lot.”  He looked at the two empty booster seats in my backseat and inquired, “I hope you don’t drive like that with your babies in here, ma’am.”  And I said, “No sir, I do not.”  He reminded me, “Please slow down ma’am and drive more carefully; have a good morning.”  As I reached out the window to shake his hand, I replied, “Thank you, sir.  I appreciate it – you are right, I can repent, and I will be telling my husband – I was wrong. I apologize, and I will not do that again.”  And I won’t – because I know better.

While Charlotte may be the home of the NASCAR Hall of Fame, that gives me no license to drive recklessly, break the law, or endanger lives (others’ or my own).  It was the grace of God that I didn’t get a ticket this morning (which I was fully preparing myself to have to explain to my hubby AND to pay for – yikes!), but I will neither exploit nor take advantage of that grace.  Since this morning’s incident, I’m proactively searching for the speed limit signs so I can obey them, and I even stopped at a yellow light just on general principle.  Because there’s really nothing that important worth rushing for and disobeying the law that’s put there for my own protection.

Consider your own attitude towards your natural and spiritual authority, and your current level of obedience.  Are there flashing blue lights waiting to apprehend YOU in a particular area of your life?  I urge you to yield to the Holy Spirit and avoid an accident – whether in the natural or in the spirit realm.  You must admit that I make a pretty compelling argument.  Selah.

“14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?”

(Romans 6:14-16)

 © Copyright 2013 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Walk in Your Assignment: For Such a Time as This

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Have you ever had something impressed on you so strongly that you KNEW you had to start walking in that direction immediately…or else? I got a gigantic jolt of a reminder to that effect this weekend – and I don’t believe the holiday is called “Memorial Day” for naught. Oh, how well do I remember that very specific assignment God impressed on my heart many years ago. I worked on it diligently at first, but after a while, I fell off, got distracted, and allowed other things to start consuming larger portions of my time, energy, and attention. But the assignment never went away. God didn’t change His mind.

So here I find myself at the crossroads of Obedience and “But Lord, You know…” And the decision really is very simple. (Hint: Take the road of obedience!) 🙂

Opportunities present themselves all the time.  The question when they appear is:  are we prepared to receive them and walk in them? Have we effectively utilized our seasons of preparation, or did we fritter them away with nothing to show for it?  It’s “go” time – are you ready?  It’s time…for action, obedience, fruit…and for His perfect will to be made manifest in the earth.  My prayer is that each of us will deliberately walk in our assignment today and serve our Creator with joy.

“For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

(Esther 4:14)

 “Whereupon, O king Agrippa, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision:”

(Acts 26:19)

© Copyright 2012 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Solitary Confinement: Confessions on Kicking a Bad Habit

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You know, the flesh can talk really loud.  When you try to ignore it, it starts yelling.  Put it into withdrawal from its appetite of choice, and it launches into a full-blown temper tantrum.  Maybe that’s why Paul said, “I die DAILY” in I Corinthians 15:31.  Being “crucified with Christ” is the only way to keep the flesh in check!  The flesh must be starved; otherwise, the more you feed it, the more it wants.  They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes…

I recently rediscovered how competitive I am…with myself.  A couple of weeks ago, I pulled up a computer Solitaire game to wind down one evening before bedtime instead of doing a crossword puzzle.  Harmless, right?  So I thought…

Forty minutes later, I had gotten the hang of the scoring mechanism, and I learned how time figured into my score.  And I wanted to beat it.  So I said to myself, “Just one more game…”  But that “one more game” wasn’t enough.  Ten games later (can you say compulsive personality?), I’d won several games, but I still hadn’t beaten my “best score.”  I was giving myself the gift of bags under my eyes, but I was fixed (more like fixated) on my goal.  I’m sure God would appreciate me having that same laser-like focus on His Word.  Imagine – having an addiction to the Word of God; we’d be unstoppable, saints! 

A few days later, my hubby came in to bowl a couple of games on the Wii. He must’ve seen my eyes glazed over as I peered intently at the computer screen, concentrating on winning.  He laughed and said, “You’ve got a Solitaire “jones,” girl!”  As much as I wanted to disagree, I knew he was right.  And I had to break that preoccupation – unproductive “idle” time was was creeping into “idol” territory.  He “sentenced” me to “no Solitaire games at night” for a couple of days straight.  I began to itch.  But I knew it was for my good, since I’d been mega-sleepy the mornings after my private Solitaire tournaments.

One night I was just waiting for him to fall asleep so I could – yep, you guessed it – go play Solitaire.  He put the brakes on that and told me to stay in the bed and channel surf until I got sleepy.  Now I KNOW channel surfing is a waste of time, but here I was stuck with the “lesser of two evils.”  I wasn’t at obsession level with this game (yet), but this seemingly harmless way to spend time had captivated my affections.  I was actually plotting and scheming when I could have my Solitaire time (making provision for the flesh)!  I don’t think the game itself is bad – it just became bad for me because I wasn’t disciplined enough to read my Word first or stop playing after 15 minutes and finish my other evening tasks (making lunches, laying out children’s outfits, loading the dishwasher) like I had some sense.

On yet another evening (I hadn’t learned my lesson yet – this went on about 2 weeks), I tried to circumvent the process of breaking my habit and “having just a li’l bit.”  Yeah right.  Actually, I was just planning to “do my own thing” (Did I really say that?  Yes.  It’s the truth – and that makes us free).  I figured that since I’d be sitting under the hair dryer for an hour, I could play Solitaire (multi-tasking – LOL) – after all, it wasn’t extra time I was spending on the game…it was just time I’d already be awake that I’d be using for personal recreation…right?  WRONG!  Time is God’s gift to me, and if I’m going to be a wise steward over it, I have to use it as HE directs.  Though I’d already set the laptop next to the hair dryer, I said ALOUD, “Flesh, you are NOT going to get what you want this time!.  You are going to read this Sunday School lesson and meditate on the Word of God for the hour you’re under the hair dryer.  This is what we’re gonna eat for the next hour.  You are starving from Solitaire.”  Do you see a theme here?  I had to actively choose righteousness and building up my spirit man.

I could’ve been content that I’d “given up” my spy TV program a couple of months ago.  I could’ve continued to rationalize that I “deserved” some time for a comparably innocuous relaxing activity.  But I was setting myself up for a fall.  When God points something out, He wants us to take action right then.  Nothing should have “beloved” status in our lives but Jesus.  However, is that really the case?  We’re in an information-driven society; would you go through withdrawal if someone took away access to your e-mail, iPod music downloads, cell phone, online social networking, text messages, novels, games, favorite TV programs, etc. for a week?  Be honest…with yourself!

Now I KNOW I’m not the only one who needs to use the invaluable resource of time more productively for God’s glory!  Today, I challenge you to solitary confinement with His Word.  Declare war on a time-waster that has usurped your single-minded attention on and devotion to your First Love!   Deny yourself something that you enjoy and instead, spend that time with your Creator.  You just might be surprised at what He shows you during your time of communing.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

(Galatians 2:20)

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.”

(Galatians 5:24)

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

(James 5:16)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

In EVERY Thing Give Thanks

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Say WHAT?!?  Seriously, did my child just thank God for Daylight Saving Time during his prayer this morning?  Yeah, he did!  After I’m STRUGGLING to get back on an even keel, driving to work in the dark groggy, yawning for the first 3 hours of my day?  Uh-huh.  While I’m lamenting the loss of my precious hour of sleep, he’s embracing the beauty of change and relishing how the extra hour of sunlight directly translates into more time to play. 

Or maybe it’s not that deep.  Maybe he’s just a morning person and I’m not.  Whatever the case may be, it was a wake-up call for me – literally. 

I repent, Lord!  I am thankful even for Daylight Saving Time.  You have given me this day to be productive for You and share the light of Your love with someone who needs You.  Guide my steps and my words, I pray…

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

(I Thessalonians 5:18)

 “I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.”

(John 9:4)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Change My Heart, O God

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My Pastor is teaching a series entitled “Excellence of Ministry – Why Do We Need to Press?”  I’ve given members of the Music Ministry weekly assignments that correspond to the teaching.  As a leader, I’ve chosen to complete the assignments, too.  Here is my homework response for the third week…be honest as you challenge yourself to earnestly ask the title question.

During Sunday morning’s sermon, I heard the song “He Wants It All Today” running through my head.  All – that’s so encompassing, Lord.  Everything?  Yes, everything.  Even that?  Yes child, even that.  Especially that.

After thinking I’d already given up soooo much (but not unto dying on a cross!), God pointed out something else I need to release to Him.  News flash – this isn’t “press out” week…so I thought.  Reverse News Flash:  EVERY DAY is “press out” day!  Truthfully, it’s not that hard to release this one; I just have to DO IT.  He won’t have to pry it out of my stiff fingers – I am willingly placing it on the altar in obedience to the Lord…because I don’t want anything to block my communication with Him.

Background:  I really enjoy watching suspense shows – anything with undercover spies, double agents, conspiracies, mystery, government cover-ups…they all intrigue me.  With two young children, I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV to begin with…and when I do, it’s usually cartoons.  So when I found “Nikita” (a remake of “La Femme Nikita,” one of my favorite spy-thriller action shows from “back in the day”), I set the DVR to record it.  I was so excited!  One hour a week, for one season, that’s not so bad, right?  I’d even convinced myself that I was using good stewardship (yay – Seven Spiritual Principles!) by fast-forwarding through the commercials…it wouldn’t even take me a whole hour to watch it.  Yeah, right!

This past week, I watched the 4th episode of the new season.  A key undercover agent was now “on the outside” of the training compound (yes, trained to be a violent mercenary, killing a few people “for the greater good of humanity”).  One line from her superiors kept resonating, “Live the lie until the lie becomes your life.”  Now even though that premise makes sense for a spy, I knew I couldn’t receive that as truth.  But I pushed that line out of my way through 4 episodes because I wanted to see “what’s gonna happen next.”  The story line was about to get more complex because she was interacting with people – including her male apartment complex neighbor – who didn’t know she was an undercover agent.  Well, Episode 4 ended with her “getting closer” with her male neighbor.  Sure, they had clothes on, but I knew where this was going – and I couldn’t go there.  I sighed, knowing in the back of my mind (and from that tugging feeling in my gut), that I wasn’t gonna be able to watch this every week.  Not if I wanted to effectively minister to the Lord.  This was nothing more than a nighttime soap opera in disguise, packaged with sophisticated weapons and a better script.  It was gonna consume my time – and my mind – if I allowed it to.

Over the course of YEARS, God has delivered me from lust (and from being gripped by the addictions and hang-ups that accompany that spirit).  So why would I want to flirt with watching a program where folks are OBVIOUSLY fornicating?  I tried to rationalize, “It’s not THAT bad, right?  It’s on prime-time network TV – not even cable!  And there’s no cussin’!”  But is it righteous?  Um, no.  Then I countered, “They’re not showing anything, and I’m watching it for the suspense plot, not to see somebody’s skin!”  And the Holy Spirit gently admonished, “But what thoughts are being planted in your mind by the enemy during that time?”  Hmm…I didn’t have a quick (or legitimate) comeback for that one either.  If I made allowances for this area of my flesh in 1Q2011, what else might I consent to down the road?

News Flash:  Married people have to deal with lust, too.  Just because you’re married does NOT mean that issue goes away if you don’t #1) deal with it, and #2) get delivered from it.

As a wife and mother who works hard to fulfill both roles in excellence, I know that I deserve “me time.”  But I can’t fill my “me time” with stuff that doesn’t build me spiritually.  If I continue to watch this program, it will erode my spiritual foundation.  In the 90s, I used to watch Ally McBeal, a lawyer comedy on Fox; I liked the witty dialogue.  However, after a couple of seasons, it progressed from men and women colleagues using a unisex bathroom to an on-screen kiss between two women.  Needless to say, that was the end of me watching Ally McBeal.

Why would I want to compromise my witness with a gray area, thinking I could “get over” because of perceived “special grace” or exemption from total, complete, and utter obedience?  If I wouldn’t watch this program with my children in the room, why should I allow my own spirit to be subjected to trash?  I’m not a garbage can, so I can’t allow rubbish to reside in the place where I’m inviting and expecting God to dwell.  For a couple of days, I thought about deleting this program from the “auto-record” function on my DVR.  I wasn’t expecting God to change His mind, I guess it just felt so FINAL – after all, I’d set it to record the whole season!  I pulled the plug on Tuesday, making no provision for the devil, “Oh, it recorded this week, I’ll just watch it this one last time…”

So did I make it an idol?  Not yet.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prevent the program from ever attaining idol status in my life.  And for that I’m grateful.  Because God knows what’s best for me.  And He knows my inner workings, triggers, hidden places, and weaknesses – because He made me.  He created me for HIS glory – not to incubate and meditate on the ideas of the world system.

Since I deliberately chose to stand up to compromise in my own life, the Holy Spirit sharpened my discernment in other areas of my influence.  While I was in another room while listening to my son do his 20 minutes of reading in the living room, my ears perked up to hear him say “vampire” and “magic wand.”  Exqueeze me?!?  What business does a 2nd grader (or anyone, for that matter) have reading about vampires???  I went in to investigate, then used it as a teachable moment to fortify our foundation of faith.   Now consider:  What kind of hypocritical witness would that have been for me to tell my child to put away that ungodly storybook, if I knew that – once a week – I’d be spending time with my neatly tucked-away little secret?  Not that the show’s so terrible – because we can CERTAINLY find worse things on TV, but God told me to let it go.  I would’ve been ineffective and powerless until I got rid of the accursed thing from my own camp (Joshua 7).  God’s not tolerating foolishness or lukewarmness.  It’s time out for us telling other folk to “do right” when we ain’t doin’ right ourselves!

Lord, please cleanse me so I don’t desire to partake of anything that’s an affront to Your holiness, purity, and righteousness.  Do I truly hate sin, or just have a mild dislike for it?  I don’t want to offend, insult, disrespect, or anger You – the One Who made the supreme sacrifice for me.  I am Your servant, here to do YOUR good pleasure.  Change my heart, O God…

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

(Psalm 24:3-5)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart