But After That…

As promised, here’s the “Part 2” that follows Living in Malice & Hating One Another

The “before” is that we were “…living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.” (Titus 3:3) 

Verse 4 of the same chapter tells us what the “after” of this looks like: “But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared.”

We must change. Allow Him to give us a spiritual heart transplant. Learn from the example of Christ to let it go. Lay it on the altar and leave it there for Him to consume our sacrifice with fire. Yes, something has got to die.

Even if it’s my pride – because I feel justified…’cuz You KNOW I was right, Lord…right? I’m just sayin’…

But after that…

Once we reflect on our OWN state without God’s grace poured out on the undeserving, it leads us (if we are malleable and tenderhearted) to repentance. Humbleness of heart and mind, both  evidenced by an adjusted response.

But after that…

Forgiveness. Whether I feel they deserve it or not…but who am I to judge who deserves what anyway?! Because when it gets right down to it, I sure don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, grace, mercy, favor, and extravagant love. 

But after that…

I have to submit, surrender, and obey. Follow the example of Christ. Forgive 70 x 7 times…ouch!

As I mature, I’m learning that it’s OK to be angry or frustrated – or even both at the same time. It’s OK to cry. It’s even OK (for a little while) to feel like NOBODY else on the planet understands. 

But after that…

My Transparent Prayer of Repentance:
Lord Jesus, I have something to say, and I need to be heard. Too bad it feels like <fill in the blank for yourself> ain’t listening, but I can’t allow or afford for anyone to derail the plan of God to get the glory from my life. So I yield to You once again, my Savior. Help me in those places that are still hurting, broken, wounded, and need Your touch. You see and You know…and I can feel You at work in my life. Please help me to be patient as You faithfully complete the work You’ve begun in me. I am thankful that You hear this prayer in Jesus’ name (so I don’t act a fool again and let my emotions carry me like a runaway roller coaster). Amen.

“4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,
5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”
(Titus 3:4-8)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Make Room for True Abundance

Ah, the new decade is finally here…but are we REALLY prepared to receive the bountiful blessings God has in store for us this year? If by chance you still have some lingering residue from 2019 (& before!), fear not – there is HOPE! We can make room for the new by clearing out the old…starting today, starting NOW.

“18 Remember ye not the former things,
neither consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing;
now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?

I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert.”
(Isaiah 43:18-19)

“And he that sat upon the throne said,
Behold, I make all things new.

And he said unto me,
Write: for these words are true and faithful.”

(Revelation 21:5)

© Copyright 2020 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Functioning, but Dysfunctional

dysfunctional – not operating normally or properly

A recent bout with black shower mold has become quite the personal vexation…but to the point that I’d finally do something about it? I cleaned it out the last 2 times – and here we are again, in the same grout lines, similar creeping (& creepy) pattern. Ironic that I’ve been cleansing myself in a less-than-ideally-clean setting…however, I digress. I reasoned that if the shower head hadn’t started leaking (last year), or if the leaky shower head had been replaced (which it was this week…and it still leaks), then the mold wouldn’t have a warm, moist environment in which to multiply its inherent ugliness.

Yet, it is futile to consider prevention at the point when remediation is required. So I have a decision to make: continue to angst over the slimy ickiness I’m semi-avoiding with shower shoes (for longer than I care to admit tolerating with utter disdain), or bust out the rubber gloves and cleanser (once more) and address the root cause that has become the bane of my daily hygiene routine. 

Isn’t that how God addresses our sin when we’re functioning, but dysfunctional? He sees that repetitious things pop up in our lives once again, and still lovingly washes away the offenses with His efficacious Blood (that we can’t seem to get rid of on our own) until we are white as snow. I guess it’s time for me to bust some serious suds in that shower stall…once again.

Update: Fed up with the foolishness, I finally did clean it a week after severe aggravation became unbearable. While I breathed a sigh of relief for the upgrade, it looks like it still needs another round of scouring. It just goes to show that cleansing (both in the natural and in the spirit) is an ongoing process.

“16 Wash you, make you clean;
put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes;
cease to do evil;

18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD:
though your sins be as scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
(Isaiah 1:16, 18)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

In A Moment…

…in the twinkling of an eye…

At first, my husband kindly offered to take my daughter on the last day of the cross-town trek to her summer technology opportunity (I was traumatized by the treacherous traffic gridlock I’d experienced 2 days prior; I think he felt sorry for me). Then his schedule changed, so it was back in my lap for that morning’s pick-up and drop-off activities. However, it put me perfectly on schedule for where I was supposed to be. I even made it to my 9am meeting ON TIME…in spite of rush hour traffic.

The swipe card reader was broken where I usually enter the elevators, so I had to go to the main lobby for access. This put me at the elevator bank with one of our senior leaders (who is totally personable and approachable). I spoke to her and she complimented my polka dot lunch bag. As we waited for the elevator, she told me she was texting a co-worker (whom I knew of)…and told me that the lady’s teenage daughter had passed away in an accident the past weekend. This same executive had unexpectedly lost her young daughter several years ago, so support and encouragement from her carries the weight of a parent who has gone through the grieving process firsthand. I gave her a hug and told her she was SO much more than her job, then the elevator whisked her up to the top floor of our building. 

It was a sobering thought that put everything in perspective for me. As I began to pray for the bereaved family, suddenly that beastly traffic didn’t seem like such a burdensome sacrifice for the daughter I’d just dropped off. In the big scheme of the cosmos, my unplanned personal schedule change and what seemed like subsequent obstructions weren’t about me pressing to make it to my conference call on time. It was about being mindful enough to connect on a human level – in real time – with the people around me who are greatly loved by God. May we always remember to let our light shine…wherever we find ourselves.

“51 Behold, I shew you a mystery;
We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,
at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound,
and the dead shall be raised incorruptible,
and we shall be changed.
55 O death, where is thy sting?
O grave, where is thy victory?
57 But thanks be to God,
which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
(I Corinthians 15:51-52, 55, 57)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Can These Bones Yet Live Again?

 

When I saw the dry and shriveled-up rose earlier this month, I was saddened – it had been so beautiful as it bloomed, and I enjoyed seeing it from my window or when I drove past. However, my sadness didn’t last very long…I discovered new blooms in that same moment just by adjusting my perspective. When I shifted my glance from that which appeared to be dead, I saw that there was still vibrant life thriving not far away. My heart rejoiced while beholding the beauty!

May we receive our Heavenly Father’s gentle and poignant reminder that some things that appear to be dead are only dormant…and dormancy lasts for only a season before life re-emerges. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Let us rest in Him as we trust His process…cycles come AND go…and go AND come…

“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him…”
(Psalm 37:7a)

“3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live?
And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.
4 Again he said unto me,
Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them,
O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.
5 Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones;
Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:
6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you,
and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the Lord.”
(Ezekiel 37:3-6)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Cleansing Cometh: More Transition…Really?!

20190612_140947

Trust me – this IS progress; the drawer WAS fully stuffed yesterday…

So a co-worker called me the offensive “h-word” today…no, not heifer…hoarder. I smarted as if I’d been stung by a bee, wondering where that zinger came from. I thought I had made progress. And I had, until it became incumbent upon me to prepare for the inevitable office move of less than 50 feet to the other side of the SAME floor (side glance – now what executive thought this was an efficiency-saver?! Riiight…). With 2 days to go, I was definitely under pressure and behind the power curve.

Honestly, I can understand my co-worker’s point (I know she meant no harm, and it really was ridiculous the amount of stuff I’d collected while sitting there since 2014 – and of course I brought a few things from previous roles, too. Or maybe more than a few, it seems…). I also understood the moving coordinators who stopped by ever-so-often to gently inquire if I was gonna make the “be off the floor ‘cuz the movers are here” Friday at 2pm deadline. As the pressure mounted, I felt myself getting more overwhelmed. (I’d already had a mini-meltdown when stripping the cube walls earlier in the week – everything looked so stark, empty, and blank. Then I saw my children’s baby pictures and reflected on my youngest now heading to high school and the tears started leaking out of my eyelids. It wasn’t a pretty moment. Thankfully, it passed quickly).

As I toted papers to the shred bin, another co-worker peeked her head out from behind her computer monitor – a new employee who I noticed like to write, just like me. However, I discovered her hidden superpower today: organizing. She watched me swoosh past her desk several times frantically ferrying the many small to mid-sized boxes I’d accumulated over years of administrative support “just in case someone needs ‘em, I’ve got ‘em!” Finally she asked me, “Are you OK?” And I sheepishly whispered that I’d just been called a hoarder and I needed to speed up my purging if I was gonna make the packing deadline without the movers tossing any remaining unpacked items – of which I had many lingering.

With a single sentence, she tossed me a lifesaver of hope, “When you get to your new cube, we’re going to get you off to a fresh, new, organized workspace.” Wow – someone who barely knew me was offering to help me (because it was obvious that I desperately needed assistance since my plan to keep accumulating and stuffing had finally reached the breaking point – no pun intended…I think my file drawers were at capacity).

So today’s lesson is this: At some point, you’ve gotta take some stuff out to maintain a healthy balance; you can’t keep shovin’ stuff in. This goes for emotions, relationships, food, whatever…

Let the cleansing continue.

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My desk & shelves haven’t been this empty since I moved into this cube in 2014…I’m learning to travel lighter – that’s for sure!

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
(Psalm 51:10)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Living the Sumptuous Life: Smoked Turkey Wing Facial

My hubby was simmering cabbage with smoked turkey wings for a luscious meal complement this past weekend. I hastily walked by as the steam escaped beneath the big pot’s lid. Then I backtracked – drawn in by the promise of the yummy meal unfolding before my very eyes, and I captured a modicum of mommy bliss – right in my kitchen.

Inhaling the velvety aroma, I allowed my skin to be moistened by the warm mist. I lingered as the kitchen warmth engulfed me. I smiled and mused on not needing a spa appointment when boiling water is so readily available. And at that moment, all was well with the world.

In the midst of everything you have going on, what fleeting moment have you chosen to capture and savor this week? Please feel free to share in the comments…and let me know what dish YOU try for your next impromptu home facial! LOL 🙂 #CarpeDiem #CarpeSmokedTurkeyWingFacial  

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”
(Psalm 34:8)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Dusk/Nightfall: Time to Replenish

You know morning comes again after the darkness. And you still yourself and endure just a little while longer. The moon and the ever-changing sky palette were a perfect recap to this full week. Taking a moment to savor my progression was a welcome respite.

I took time for my cardio activity, not being concerned about anyone else for that 30 minutes. It wasn’t selfish; it was restorative. As an adult, I’ve come to realize that while my matriarchal role models could nurture the ever-living daylights out of someone (or everyone in their sphere of influence), they didn’t generally model self-care effectively – or at all. So I’m learning (of a necessity) how to do this now. Acknowledging that taking care of others doesn’t have to occur at the expense of neglecting myself. Balance is possible – when you make it an intentionally incorporated part of the process – it doesn’t happen on its own!  

Sometimes my own self-care is the best of intentions with weak (or no) execution. Sometimes it’s trial-and-error. But sometimes – like today – I nail it! So I celebrate my success without guilt. Because what good am I to others if there’s nothing left to give? Exactly…

How can you intentionally celebrate your own prelude to joy this week? Give it some thought. Feel free to share in the comments if you’d like.

“5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me: Lord, be thou my helper.
11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
(Psalm 30:5, 10-12 KJV)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Bunny Watch: Seek & Find

I enjoyed the music of the spheres during my Friday evening “nature walk.” The flitting fowls, scampering squirrels, buzzing bees, wriggling worms (I could’ve done without them, but hey, they’re part of the ecosystem, too), and the general hum of life away from civilization. For this moment, I opted for the steady hum of nature’s energy instead of the contrivance of my phone and its music. And I was content to soak it all in.

Additionally, I was in “bunny watch” mode; I think it’s so funny to see those critters in the most unexpected spots, either nestled amongst the landscape or nearly camouflaged. I went with the intention of seeing some bunnies – and my diligence at the end of the workweek was rewarded. Seek and ye shall find…sharing the cuteness because I like bunnies, yes I do…I like bunnies – how about you?

Elton Bunny

“11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
(Jeremiah 29:11-13 KJV)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Sterile/Sterilized Relationships

Tough to admit to myself – let alone to others, but I realize after reading Matthew 18:15 that I’ve pretty much had an emotional condom at the ready in most of my friendships – just in case things got heated! Not wanting to be fully transparent and unable to yield to complete intimacy for fear of being unliked, unaccepted, misunderstood, or just downright rejected. Trying to protect myself from as-yet-unhappened hurts (but bracing for their potential occurrence). That’s why I wore a mask and tried to only show the “good parts” of me. But that’s unreal. Not human. Did that make me an alien? LOL. No, but it did contribute to the existence of a very tormented, agonizing human.

Trying to broker all these moving pieces in multiple dynamic relationships was like spinning a bunch of plates. And when the exhaustion of trying to manage the not-meant-to-be-managed process caused me to fray, I went kaput and the gears stopped turning and the wheels ground to a screeching halt. The plates began to crash as I no longer had the energy to meticulously attend to each one wobbling out of control – just beyond my grasp and inability to “fix it.”  And I was left to examine myself, and the trail of fragmented relationships strewn on the path behind me.

Then a funny thing happened: God caused me to start revisiting those relationships. Not to reopen old wounds, but for the purpose of closure. So I could see that – even in the midst of my own imperfections, shortcomings, and mistakes (of which there are many) – He was able to bring healing to my broken places if I would but allow Him access. Vulnerable place? You betcha. But it’s where I find myself. And when you come to understand that being on the Potter’s wheel is exactly where He wants you so He can fashion an even more exquisite vessel out of the disparate pieces of your life, a certain level of peace comes. I remain in progress and in process…

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
(Matthew 18:15)

© Copyright 2019 by Kayren J. Cathcart