Change & Transformation

Less is More

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I should’ve known God was up to something that would create major change in me.  You know what tipped me off?  It wasn’t one particular “struck with a lightning bolt” moment.  But it was a gradual realization of, “Hey – something is different here!”  That “something different” is the reason I haven’t visited my co-workers’ candy dishes since the Christmas holidays…who knew that 20 miniature chocolates in one week (or in one day) would add up on your hips if left unattended???  Right – I should’ve known then, but now I know better, and I do better.  Allow me to share a couple of observations.

About a month ago, we went to a restaurant that serves chocolate mints after dinner.  Our server was kind enough to give us 2 for each person.  Now I remember a day when I would’ve taken the mints from my children so I could have more (I hate to admit it, but I guess that’s hoarding).  This time, I reached (out of habit) for one mint, then subconsciously jerked my hand back.  I remembered, “That was my old way of doing things; I really don’t want that candy, nor do I need the extra calories…nor do I desire to eat one and end up with an urge to finish off the rest of them.”  My family didn’t notice my mental conversation, but I did.  And I’m proud to report that the candies my children didn’t eat are still in a drawer in my kitchen.  I see them when I pull out twist ties, and they’re safe – it’s not even a temptation anymore.  I am grateful for God changing me from the inside out. 

As if to prove that it wasn’t a one-time deal, another test-type situation presented itself one afternoon at work.  I headed to the break room to refill my water bottle, passing by the “free” coffee and rich, calorie-laden hot cocoa.  Then I saw them – leftover cookies from a meeting.  Neatly preserved in a box.  And nobody was looking.  Oh sure, they’d been put there for anyone to help themselves – but that someone didn’t have to be me!  I took a peek to see what flavor presented itself – livin’ on the edge, right?  Peanut butter, with visible peanut butter chip chunks.  “Hmmm,” I mused as I inhaled, noticing how soft the cookies looked.  “Peanuts are healthy,” I reasoned.  Then I snapped back to reality, shut the box, and walked back to my desk with my full water bottle.  I didn’t really want or need a cookie, and that wasn’t what I’d gone to the break room for anyway.  I acknowledged it as just a distraction.  Kayren – 1 point, cookies – zero. God had made a way of escape for me. This time – thankfully – I took it.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

(I Corinthians 10:13)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Gravity Works in My Favor

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For the first time in a VERY long time, the scale is actually reading about 10 pounds less…with me standing on it.  Who would’ve thought I’d actually see results this time?  Not me – at first.  Then I kept checking the scale week after week, and it was going down – a pound here, a pound there.  I was hesitant to believe it – and I definitely wasn’t gonna write about it in case I was just dreaming and someone had to shake me back to reality and say, “No honey, you’re still as heavy as you were – wake up!” 

At the beginning of the year, a good friend of mine told me she wanted to lose 40 pounds by her birthday in July.  It sounded rather impossible for me to apply her enthusiasm to my own need to lose the same amount – as my doctor had been gently nudging me to do (then firmly insisting) for the past few years.  Though I wasn’t convinced it could work for me this time, she chirped, “It breaks down to about 2 pounds a week” and I decided that was considerably more manageable to attack than 40 pounds in one fell swoop.  Plus, she said I’d inspired her to be more healthy (imagine that!), so because I wanted to be supportive of her efforts, I agreed to be her accountability partner as we built healthier habits into our daily lifestyles.

She has lost over 15 pounds and is well on her way to reaching her goal.  I’ve lost about 10 pounds (though I was really hoping more than I was believing I’d lose any weight at all), my knees don’t hurt anymore, and I’m feeling ready to run around in the yard with my children when the warm weather arrives.  It’s remarkable how changing your perspective can improve your quality of life!

I didn’t get liposuction (who has money laying around for that these days? and I certainly don’t want anyone carving on me like a Thanksgiving turkey), I didn’t get scammed and subsequently disappointed by the newest “miraculous fat melting pill/powder/beverage fad” (to take my money without delivering results), I haven’t starved myself (though I’m convinced that camels really can live off their humps, and I do have plenty of calories stored up), I haven’t missed any meals (just made the ones I eat healthier and more proportionate), and I have added a little exercise to my week (there’s always room for improvement).  Good ol’ fashioned discipline.  Taking in fewer calories than I burn off.  Not eating everything that comes across my path and isn’t nailed down.  I had to change my mind first – then my body followed.

Can you tell how incredulous I am about the whole thing?  It’s nothing short of amazing, in my opinion.  Yet, with the right input, you can have favorable results.  Since I’d been putting in junk, I was getting excess calories.  When I started putting in more fruit, veggies, and water – voila! – the excess pounds begin to melt away.  Not only am I responsible for taking thoughtful stewardship of my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, I am also responsible for setting a godly example for others – including my children.  My lifestyle must witness louder than my words.  Finally, my convictions are translating into action and change.  And better health is just one of many benefits I’m reaping.

It all adds up…to less.  I am grateful that God is at work in my life.  Can you hear the chisels and jackhammers?

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Spring Forward: Preparation for Acceleration

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As we approach the warmth and accompanying new growth of budding blossoms that Spring holds, we come face-to-face with this fact: it will cost us an extra hour of sleep.  I’m not so sure I’ve embraced this concept yet.

I guess I’m getting older (ha ha!), because I have been very tired these past few days.  Could be that I’m worn out from all my decluttering activities.  Perhaps I’m just being more productive.  Maybe I need more sleep.  Or a combination of the above.  Whatever the case may be, I’ve decided to start preparing for Daylight Savings Time now by going to bed 30 minutes earlier for a week instead of trying to “cram” sleep the night before.  You’re laughing – but you know you’ve tried it, too!  🙂

I’m starting now so I can greet the new promises encapsulated in Spring mornings with a smile instead of groggy, bleary eye-rubbing.  The word “spring” implies action, movement, and momentum.  Join me in anticipation of the newness of a fresh start…ready – set – go!

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Purging In Progress!

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Propelled by the momentum of discarding old, unnecessary materials at work and organizing what remains, I made a major leap forward this weekend – I attacked (and conquered) the angst-evoking clutter corner in my kitchen!  Celebrate with me!  I was so ashamed of the piles of 3-ring binders, year-old children’s artistic masterpieces, choir rehearsal lyric sheets, Christmas photo cards, expired coupons that I’d had every good intention of using, et cetera…but I had also become complacent about it – can you relate?  I’d cook, load the dishwasher, disinfect my countertops, and sweep the floor, but that menacing corner always lurked just beyond the grasp of my ever-elusive ideal of being “finally organized.” 

Well, this weekend, I made a decision to just do it – no matter how tired or disheartened I felt (and believe me, I felt both!).  I even rediscovered (and subsequently tossed out – devoid of my usual emotional attachment) a boarding pass from a summer 2008 plane trip…don’t ask – of course I had no clue it was there, so I won’t miss it.  I wasn’t even saving it for sentimental reasons; it had just accumulated, like most of the other bits and pieces straining my poor, overburdened little side table.  And you know what?  I felt better when I was done – because the seemingly overwhelming task that had loomed overhead for far too long had been completed…at last.  After that, I pressed on toward the office – another potential abyss of clutter pandemonium (to which I was a chief contributor).  With a furrowed and resolute brow, I declared war on the army of boxes that had assembled in the middle of my floor; I think I won the battle.  Some contents were discarded; the contents of other boxes were consolidated.  And the Earth did not stop rotating or revolving because I threw some stuff away – what a relief!

Before I could ever change my external environment, I had to change my mind – and that was preceded by allowing God to change my heart.  It was (and continues to be!) a process…one that took (and is still taking!) time and patience.  And growth and maturity.  And a commitment to change.  We don’t like to admit that “our stuff ain’t working,” but God is gentle, patient, kind, and loving as He guides us into what we deem to be new territory.  So I guess my Pastor’s sermon series on “Allowing God to Do a New Thing” is really taking root…and bearing fruit.  I am grateful. 🙂

 “For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”

(II Peter 1:8-9)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Starting Small: Every Victory Counts

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Everything has changed.  My company’s merger has come and gone, leaving behind altered team structures, roles, and job responsibilities.  So why have I been holding onto the past?  I too must change.

Today, I discarded contents of files I’d had from 2 managers ago – now neither of them is with the company.  I seriously doubt that they reminisce about our extended series of meetings to map out the departmental communication strategy, nor do I think they’d be saddened to know that I tossed out memorabilia to commemorate said gathering.  Because they’ve moved on.  And so must I.

If my desk clutter was any indication of what I’ve been retaining and storing in the cavities and recesses of my brain, draining energy and life from my own present, then I’ve got a lot more mental purging to do!  Glad I don’t have to tackle this alone…

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

(Philippians 1:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

My Clean Start: Seizing the Moment of Inspiration

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Today, I started the great purge.  No, not the purge of paper clutter in my home – that will come later this week.  (No, really – I’m serious.  It has to…my hubby said so!).  I had to build up my endurance.  So I hit the web and found some good resources from a “paper organization” search and used that to motivation to propel me to start from where I was – at my desk at work.

Yes, sad to admit, I have retained files from my previous position (completely and utterly unrelated to what I do now) that are over three years old and were untouched since I moved into this cube.  Out they went as I felt the wind of exhilaration rush through my hair.  Or not.  I didn’t think I’d have the courage to slip them through the slit of the locked recycling bin, into the one-way slot abyss, never to return to my fingertips…but away they went.  I was surprised that it got easier as I went along, guided by the question grounded in reality, “What’s the worst possible thing that could happen if I threw this away?”  Since I couldn’t manufacture a reasonable-sounding cataclysmic or apocalyptic consequence, I parted with much of my desk paper today.  That was a baby step in the big scheme of my paper cosmos – yet, a significant step in the right direction.

Now to overcome my anxiety and attack one room at home – the office – this weekend.  God even sent a co-worker to encourage me to dig and discover the root of why I’m apprehensive to get rid of stuff I don’t need or that’s not adding joy to my life. (Duh – it’s because I figure I just might need it!  But I’ve gotta let go of that ridiculous thinking).  Halfway joking, she said, “I might have to pop in over at your house to help you keep the momentum!”  You know, I believe she just might do it.  Preparation is priceless…

“Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.”

(Matthew 24:44)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Bill of Lading: Putting Down Burdens That Weren’t Mine to Begin With

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So I called the “Calgon – take me away!” hotline today, slightly dismayed to find out the line was busy…imagine that!  Here I am clamoring and clawing in desperation for someone to stop the dizzying, frenetic pace of the merry-go-round of a schedule I feel stuck on, only to realize in a flash of clarity that I am the person who can make it stop.  That’s a rather empowering realization.

Once again, I got caught up in a cycle of madness, only to return to the footstool of Jesus – bedraggled, worn, and spent – asking Him to restore me.  I could just imagine His eyes twinkling as He gently admonished, “Since you’ve finished trying to do My job, are you ready to try it My way now?”

Maturity has taught me that I don’t have to be near a breakdown to have these creatively inspired, introspective, pensively poetic moments…but you’ve gotta admit, it makes for good reading!  🙂

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Rubber Meets the Road: Committing To Walk the Talk

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Have you ever noticed that when you make a decision to change, you get tested on it pretty much immediately – to see if you’re really committed to changing?

One recent morning during my commute, I purposed in my heart to have a day of consecration for the purpose of clarity and cleansing.  I decided to drink only water – I wanted nothing to distract me from hearing God’s voice regarding the specific requests I had placed on the altar.  Now before you go thinking, “Oh, she’s so deep,” I ask you to reference numerous other posts where I detail my ongoing battles with loving food too much and acknowledging my need for more self-discipline in that area for optimal health and well being.  I’ve failed to keep a fast many times before because I hadn’t firmly made up my mind.  It’s not about deepness – it’s about obedience!  Well, lo and behold if a friend didn’t call and ask me for a “short notice lunch” that same afternoon.  Mind you, we’d been trying to schedule a get-together for months.  I sensed a test!  🙂

Since I really did want to meet with her, I asked the Lord to show me His will in this situation.  Perhaps He wanted to use me to encourage her and let my light shine as a witness of His grace.  I wanted to make myself available.  I let her know I would be glad to join her as long as she didn’t mind me having just water.  Astonished (because she knew how much I enjoyed eating as a recreational sport), she responded, “You’re fasting?  More power to you!  We won’t go to your favorite restaurant so there’s less suffering on your part.”  I laughed as I mused, “Isn’t suffering a significant part of self-denial?”  I was glad I didn’t cave in to the temptation to procrastinate and restart another day.  The flesh lost this battle – yay!  I was destined for victory, and willing to pay the price.

In the past, I’ve made a “promise” to God, then “changed my mind” when circumstances were unfavorable.  On more occasions than I care to admit, I’ve had a “conditional fast” – saying, “Well Lord, I’ll fast until I see those extra bagels left after the meeting; certainly you’ll permit me reschedule this and start over tomorrow – that sacrifice will be just as good – right?”  Maybe you can relate?  I’ve even left myself an “out” – confidently leaving my lunch bag at home, while realizing in the back of my mind that if I got the munchies, I had plenty of fruit to nibble on at my desk…after all – it’s fruit, right?  Trust me, it doesn’t pay to rationalize with God – He always wins!  All His ways are righteous and holy – and we are called to be like Him.  Do it His way to reap His results.

When you decide to agree with God’s will, He causes everything to line up.  He touched my friend’s heart to support my efforts to hear Him more clearly.  Why?  Because He wants me to be a participant in this next phase of His move – and in order to do that, I have to be able to hear Him clearly.  And that requires clearing out the junk – both spiritual and natural.  He will always make a way of escape – the question is whether or not we choose to take it!  Truly, I rely on Him moment-by-moment for my provision.  May we evermore commit to putting no confidence in the flesh, but to putting all confidence in the God of our salvation.  He desires for us to grow, mature, and develop – which requires change from our current status.  Let us go to the next level and embrace the sacrifices required to walk into a new season.  It will be worth it.

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19)

 © Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of A Deliberate Decision

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I’m experiencing a shift and a realignment – both in the spirit and in the natural.  Today, I realized how very happy I really am.  I awoke on my Saturday at 6:00 a.m. and actually wanted to stay up!  Granted, I didn’t stay up (anyone who knows me is aware of how much I value those few-and-far-between opportunities to sleep late), but the excitement bubbling inside could’ve kept me up.  Instead of watching TV, I worked…I guess that’s what a little motivation will do for you!  I can see how much time (or productivity) unconscious, mindless TV watching has drained from me fulfilling my God-given purpose. 

And eating – that’s changed for me, too.  I used to love eating rich meals with my slim and well-proportioned husband.  While his metabolism burned off whatever touched his lips, calories and fat seemed to obstinately accumulate on my hips (and all sites north and south of that vicinity).  It was a common way I used to fellowship, but now I’ve made some deliberate decisions about where I want to be and what it will take for me (not someone else) to maintain a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.  I passed up his special Super Bowl baked beans laden with ground beef and sausage.  Instead of feeling deprived, I knew my innards thanked me.  And now when I hear the tinkling of his spoon in the ice cream bowl, I don’t even flinch – to God be the glory!  So this is what it means to make a decision and stick with it, huh?    What a novel concept!

I’m growing in confidence that the decisions I make are good for me, not requiring (as much!) affirmation or validation from others because I’m the one who has to live with my decisions.  I’ll admit that sometimes it helps to have a nudge in the right direction from a supportive friend.  Yet, I can’t get caught up in the comfort of company or companionship.  Some paths are meant to be traveled in solitude and reflection.  Like the journey of becoming. 

After having lived to utterly please others for so long, this is indeed a new way of traveling.  I feel lighter already.  Bye-bye excess baggage…I see a place for you to be unloaded.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

(Hebrews 12:1-2)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of a Compassionate Word

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Are you available when opportunity knocks – whether it benefits you or someone else?  Openings to share the love of Christ often show up in the most unexpected ways – at least they do in my life.  Take the other day, for instance, when I headed to the bank during my lunch break.  I wasn’t in a rush, but I wasn’t meandering either.  Then I noticed him – a brother puffing on a cigarette.

I’ve seen him on several occasions around the building I work in.  I suppose this time, I just felt compelled to speak to him.  Before I knew it, I boldly implored, “Brother, what are ya doin’ to yourself?!  I want you to have healthy, pink lungs.  You know we need all the Black men we’ve got!  I love Black men – I’ve got 2 of ‘em at home myself – a husband AND a son.”  At that instant, he dropped it on the ground and crushed it under his well-worn work shoe.  Stunned, I kinda did a double-take and asked, “What made you do that?” to which he responded, “What can I say to that?  I’ve gotta put it out.”  In my book, that was all the thanks I needed. 

I headed to the bank with new amazement for the sovereignty of God at work.  I was overwhelmed that He would use me to touch this brother’s life.  And humbled.  Though I’m definitely smoke-averse, I’m no caped crusader running around extinguishing every tobacco product I see.  (I wasn’t consciously aware that my impassioned plea might have been my personal kickoff for Black History Month).

As my dad (who works in a public high school) says about one of the students he reached out to, “I may not be able to save ‘em all, but he was my starfish that I threw back into the sea.  I made a difference to him.”  The entire world is waiting for us to show the compassion of Christ.  Sometimes that simply means taking the time to say a kind word – filled with the power and boldness of His Word.  I’m glad God answered my morning prayer, ordered my steps, and gave me an opportunity to share HIM with someone that day.  And I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.”

(Mark 11:23)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart