Real Love In Action IS Action

I’m just sayin’…

Real love makes you pan fry fish on a weeknight at your spouse’s request. Without grumbling. Or rolling your eyes…at least not a lot. After you’ve worked all day – and he has, too. When you were excited that there was already a meal prepared during your massive amounts of weekend free time (NOT!) and waiting in the fridge. So you were planning to kinda chill out after checking homework, facilitating bath time, reading bedtime stories, and tucking children in. And you’re on Weight Watchers and you know that you don’t need to have fried food. Even though you put some fish in the oven to bake it for yourself. Because it’s healthier. And you didn’t get to exercise today because you forgot about the lunch meeting with co-workers on your calendar during your workout time. And you “treated” yourself to french fries then when you didn’t really need ‘em.

But you’re a southern chef (sort of) and naturally, you taste while you cook. So at least you eat more baked fish than fried fish once it’s all cooked. And you’re happy to serve your spouse with a smile. Because you’re grateful that God has blessed you with this particular spouse. Even though it would’ve been a little (okay, maybe a lot) easier to make a healthier choice if your spouse had asked for baked fish. But you love your spouse and you want them to have what they ask for. With hot sauce, of course. Did I mention that the baked fish was really good, but the fried fish was slammin’?

Real love in action. Know what I’m sayin’? Yeah, that also includes my workout tomorrow…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(I Corinthians 13:13, NIV)

Appreciating the Beauty of Routine

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So this is maturity, eh? Let me back up. To understand the significance of this epiphany, you’d have to know that I grew up as one of those über-creative types who thrived on new, unique, and exciting experiences – always something different. I thought a person who adhered to a schedule was a boring stick-in-the-mud. Quite frankly, predictability was not appealing to me. But that was then…

My dad is retired from a 20-year Air Force career. I believe he’d have blown a bugle to get us up every morning…if he’d had a bugle (I shudder to think!). I could set my clock by him – and probably still can – because he’s regimented. But that routine helps him. And after I left off living under his roof and went to college, I became aware of how much his routine helped me. So when I got married, did I walk into a leisurely free-for-all? To the contrary – my wonderful husband was also an Air Force man with a strong foundation of consistent daily habits. Sigh…obviously, God’s trying to tell me something, right? Yeah, it boils down to that inescapable “ingrained discipline is a forced habit that’s good for ya” thing…

Allow me to share my “I could’ve had a V-8!” moment from last week. I was talking to a co-worker who’d spent a lot of money on a personal fitness trainer a year or two ago, but had recently gained more weight than he wants to carry. I encouraged him to start walking (a mere 15 minutes) during his break just to get moving. He nodded and asked genuinely, “What’s your workout routine?” When I didn’t immediately scoff at him, but instead chirped enthusiastically, “I take classes at the gym during lunchtime because I need to be around other people while I’m exercising!” I knew I’d turned a major corner. I admit that I actually like knowing what I was gonna do on my gym days! Conversely, when I get out of routine, I tend to lapse back into old, not-so-healthy habits – and it’s not worth breaking my momentum. Now, I look forward to my fun fitness classes (and hanging out with the people in them) with joyful anticipation instead of loathsome dread. “Yeah, I need to start again,” my co-worker agreed. You go, buddy! Start again indeed…

Routine helps in our spiritual lives, too. What spiritual discipline do you commit to work on this week? Start again indeed!

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

(Philippians 1:6)

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

Reflections on My Fitness Journey

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A trainer at my gym recently asked me to submit an article for the monthly newsletter; I’m sharing it with you and hoping you’re doing something each day to stay healthy. If you’re in the Charlotte area, I invite you to check out a free workout at Elements for Women – tell ‘em Kayren sent ya!

Special thanks to Kevin Mills (my fellow Paper Polisher) for his expert editing of this piece! 🙂

I’ve encountered my share of speed bumps on the road to personal health and wellness in my lifetime. Admittedly, many were self-imposed. When I finally got serious about making some positive changes for a healthier lifestyle (instead of desperately grasping at the latest weight loss scheme), Elements was there with a support system designed to ensure my success.

Since I started working out again (after my long hiatus), Elements has been like training wheels on a bike, bumpers at the bowling alley, and safety scissors – all rolled into one. The staff helps me celebrate my small victories, challenges me to set goals, and pushes me straight out of my comfort zone. Truthfully, I look forward to seeing other class participants on a regular basis. It’s become so much more than just a gym – it’s a community.

Before joining Elements, my weight loss plan basically consisted of getting my wisdom teeth extracted. Today, however, I understand the importance of incorporating physical activity into my schedule at least 3 times a week. And after sweating non-stop for a full 45 minutes, it’s much easier to choose to eat a more balanced diet! 🙂

Since joining Elements and starting Weight Watchers in June, I’ve lost over 16 pounds. But I’m prouder of the fact that I can actually jump rope for 30 seconds; I couldn’t do THAT 2 months ago! I was winded during my first Walking Boot Camp Club session, but now I can keep up with the best of them. In a few months, my posture has improved (thanks, Pilates instructors!), my muscles are getting stronger (my abs are somewhere between a 6-pack and a 2 liter), I’ve lost half of my double chin (good riddance), and my shadow is actually shrinking.

From sedentary to simply spectacular… I’m on my way! It’s all about making progress, being consistent, and staying committed – one step at a time, one day at a time, and one healthy decision at a time.

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

(I Corinthians 6:19)

Embracing Maturity

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This July was full of blogworthy events, but you didn’t hear from me because I’ve been honeymooning with my spouse! While the little ones visited their grandparents in another state for an entire month, hubby and I took that opportunity to focus on each other (without reminding children to take their baths, clean their rooms, finish their veggies, or stop giggling and go to bed NOW!) and build our marriage. Though we’ll enthusiastically celebrate our 10-year anniversary in a few months, it’s important for couples to regularly build in time for reflection, restoration, and rejuvenation. You wouldn’t believe how routine can turn into a rut that wears you down!

On the eve of my children returning from their away-from-home adventures, I anticipate that they’ve grown a lot and learned many new things they’ll be eager to share. I’m somewhat of a “helicopter parent,” so it took maturity on my part to let them go. However, our job as parents is to train our children and prepare them to be functional and successful without us – that’s what a healthy growing up experience is all about. My youngest child was homesick the first week, but I knew that exposure to a different environment would help her to be well-rounded (especially since she’ll transition from daycare to kindergarten over the next three weeks). We don’t always get to choose our surroundings, so it’s good to learn how to adapt. I know she has matured. My oldest child seems to thrive when meeting new people, so I think he probably enjoyed not having me hovering over him; I’m learning to give him room to spread his wings (while still setting boundaries and parameters, of course!).

They’re excited about seeing their redecorated room, and I look forward to seeing their beach-tanned faces and getting big hugs! We all made it through summer vacation, and we have maturity to show for it. We’ll give each other grace as we transition back into working as a unit – and with patience, we’ll get acclimated to the changes we’ve each undergone in one month. We’re supposed to grow, develop, and mature – God didn’t call us to stay the same…in the spiritual realm or in the natural realm. So don’t fight the situations that are causing you to stretch beyond your comfort zone! God is maturing you for His purposes. 🙂

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

(II Peter 3:18)

Resistance is Futile: Just Obey!

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How many times do we hear God speaking to us, sense the Holy Spirit nudging us to go a certain way, and we do exactly the opposite? I had an important reminder of the importance of obedience this week. Actually, I’ve had a LOT of reminders recently (like blinking neon signs!), but I’m just writing about a couple today. 🙂

I decided to drop some bags off at my office early in the morning before hopping on the train so I wouldn’t have to lug them all over tarnation. Reasonable enough, right? Well, there was a red “No Parking” sign affixed to the meter in front of my building (that wasn’t there the LAST TIME I dashed in); during morning rush hour, no parking was permitted on this thoroughfare. Hmmm, drag all these heavy bags for 3 blocks, or rush up to the 23^rd floor to drop these off? I slipped into the parallel parking spot way before 7:30 a.m. as I justified the validity of my risky choice. I saw a police officer nearby and asked him if it would be okay for me to leave my car for 3 minutes to put the bags into my office; he was “hands-off,” saying he didn’t have anything to do with parking matters, and that I’d be rolling the dice. (Like he was gonna say, “Go ahead, disobey the law.”)

I thanked him politely, then darted with my cadre of bags and full-sized umbrella up the elevator shaft, asking the security guard at the front desk to watch my car as I raced by. Heart rate elevated, I dropped my load and ran back to the elevator and headed for my car. The security guard said, “You’d better hurry; you’re about to get towed.” I got to my car just as the parking man (accompanied by the tow truck!) was taking my plate information. The cherry on top was him saying, “You parked here and the police officer said he told you not to.” I had no recourse at all. I humbled myself and said yes sir, thank you, you’re right, I apologize, and got into my car shaking as I drove off. How would I have explained the car getting towed to my hubby??? I shudder to think…God is truly gracious.

But it didn’t have to be that way. Had I been obedient in the first place, I would’ve never encountered the parking law enforcer! No need for an adrenaline rush when we obey – whether it’s God’s laws, or the law of the land. It really is simple – we just have to obey. We were created to. Things work better when we do.

With that said, I am adding an extra layer of accountability as I announce to the blogosphere that I’ve gone from do-nothing to joining a gym AND joining Weight Watchers in less than a week. Okay, I’ve been resisting the idea while knowing I need to lose weight and start exercising (again) for a very long time, but I finally decided to do something this week. And it took messages (like blinking neon signs!) from soooo many people God placed in my path to help me get back on the right track. Making a decision is powerful. Taking action is even more empowering. Now that I’m here, I welcome you to join me on my new journey. I’ll have lots of new stuff to write about, that’s for sure. I have my first Personal Training session next week. Stay tuned…

“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”

(II Corinthians 10:4-6)

Are You Blessable?

Posted by kayrencathcart

What a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend I enjoyed, surrounded by my munchkins and their daddy…and saturated, drenched, and overwhelmed with lots of love.

My crew nearly had to alligator wrestle me into going out to breakfast on Saturday morning. What can I say? I’m genetically predisposed to think it’s much easier and less expensive for me to make pancakes at home than for us to sit in a restaurant that obviously doesn’t add “mama’s love” as an essential ingredient. Though I was quite delighted and content with the colorful array of homemade cards and paper flowers that came home from school on Friday, I finally gave in and we headed to breakfast. I knew they wanted to show their appreciation for me, but it was hard not to orchestrate all the details – since that’s what we moms do 24/7! I ended up enjoying myself.

Saturday afternoon, the Women’s Fellowship at my church visited a local women’s shelter to make arts and crafts with the residents’ children so they could give their mothers a gift for the holiday. I saw a range of expressions on the children’s faces, and I was even more grateful to have a home where I could raise and nurture my own children. Outreach to others is key for balanced perspective maintenance.

On Sunday morning came the biggest surprise of all. As my family walked into church, the men of the church (lined up like an Honor Guard) welcomed each woman with a single wrapped rose and directed her to a continental breakfast prepared in the Fellowship Hall – completely unexpected. The brothers looked sharp! I had no idea that the black suit, white shirt, and black tie look my hubby sported had been planned, let alone coordinated with the other men of the church for weeks…impressive.

After savoring a donut I didn’t need, I headed to the sanctuary to prepare for my role as choir director. My pastor stopped me to say that we didn’t need to put on choir robes until after he made his opening announcement. No prob – I adjusted my microphone to my 5’0” frame and handed the sound booth tech my CD for the sermonic solo, then headed to Sunday School. An hour later, I was seated in the congregation, awaiting Pastor’s announcement before taking my place in the choir stand. Wasn’t I surprised to see eight brothers – including my hubby – file up to the choir stand and begin the Praise & Worship service? I thought, “Well, when they finish this song, I’ll get in place.” But they just kept on singing (with my short microphone in front of a tall brother) – and they sounded good! They’d been rehearsing for weeks…unbeknownst to me! What a splendid gift to be able to bask in God’s presence and enjoy intimate worship during a break from serving. I’m glad a box of tissues was nearby; tears flowed freely down my cheeks until the sermon began. I was truly touched, and I experienced the love of God poured out through the actions of His people – His men.

That morning, I had planned to perform my regular routine, but God had fantastic surprises in store for me. Are you able to receive the blessings He’s ready to bestow upon you? Allow His pure love to soften your heart so you don’t miss one goodie!

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

(I Corinthians 2:9)

“Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

(Psalm 37:4)

“…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6b)

Mothering is an Action Word

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Guess what? The baby robins have hatched! After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning. Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with. Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides. This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action. The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error. We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering.

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences! Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique. I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold. I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers. Just days away from her 5^th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes. She is growing up – and where did the time go?! Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂 Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day. Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day! May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy. Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

A Bird’s Eye View of My Environment

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On what is celebrated as Earth Day, I suppose it’s fitting to reflect on the nature preserve that my yard has become…duck eggs and robins’ nests and ‘possums – oh my! But bugs and inchworms, too, Lord?

Just when I thought Spring wouldn’t bring anything else into my yard, I have been proven wrong – over and over and over again! Apparently, the animal world has telegraphed something about my hubby being the Jack Hanna of Charlotte, because we’ve had a robin building a nest atop the corner post of our front porch for the past couple of weeks. It was comical and almost ironic to arrive home from vacation to see the nest-building material strewn across the porch and hanging baskets – maybe we’re hosting a bird timeshare, unbeknownst to us?

Now, the small, blue eggs are laid and the mother robin greets us with that big ol’ lidless bird eye every time we’re on our porch. So I do the only proper thing – I say “good morning” to her as she stares at me and guards the nest from her perch. She doesn’t even fly away anymore as we open the front door to leave for school and work each day. Maybe we’re getting the benefits of a pet – I dunno.

As if that weren’t enough, my hubby recently sent me an e-mail entitled “guess who’s in the yard today?” I earnestly prayed it wasn’t another opossum. My prayer was granted; as I opened the attachment, I saw two ducks in the photo. Whew! What I didn’t know was that they’d carefully and intentionally selected our yard as the site to lay and hatch their eggs…I presume they like rosebushes near the ground and underneath children’s bedroom windows. I fully expect to see fuzzy baby ducks waddling around pretty soon.

As I watch my hubby’s flurry of activity around the yard to make it habitable and enjoyable for his family, I visualize Jesus with a bird balancing on His index finger and remember that He created all this stuff, so I may as well get with the program and appreciate it. 🙂 May we reverence the Creator more than the creation…

“And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.”

(Genesis 2:19)

Life’s Little Joys

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My place as Kayren Cathcart, MD (Mommy Doctor) has been forever inscribed and securely etched in the annals of history. It’s all part of the job description (wait a minute – what job description?!). After my children spent their week of Spring Break with my mother (enjoying all the delights that accompany being spoiled by grandma), what was the first thing my son showed me? Yep – you guessed it – his loose tooth – top front left. I didn’t even know it was loose when I dropped him off at grandma’s!

For some reason, he got a little jittery when I said, “Let’s get the cotton and pull it now before we get back on the road.” But since he’d brought it to my attention, I was compelled to act. Plus, it looked like it was hanging on by a single sinew. I had to use a different angle from the one I’d used for the “easy” bottom teeth, but I finally gripped it with the cotton and there was minimal blood, though maximum tears. Perhaps this is just preparing me for my daughter to start losing her teeth. Oh great – I guess we’ll see in about another year…or less. Children do grow so quickly!

Both children came home with scraped knees after their visit to grandma’s (with no “helicopter mother” hovering to thwart impending danger), but my hubby and I were quite well-rested after our “child-free” vacation week – and I think that the children had a blast, too. As much as my mom keeps alluding to how their visit must’ve been a “fountain of youth,” I think she may have been happiest of all. The love of family is a priceless gift.

“Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.

Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit.”

(Job 10:11-12)

The Best Gift: The Resurrection and the Life

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I overheard a conversation this week between adults who still receive an Easter Basket from a parent or a spouse. As I thought to myself, “Really?” I remembered my grandmother’s faithfulness to make sure my sister and I had multihued baskets (every year) wrapped in cellophane and filled with all sorts of sugary treats. The baskets were her thoughtful way of showing us she loved us – just as sending Jesus was God’s ultimate expression of showing He loves us.

Granted, the tradition of chocolate bunnies and spring chicks may stir fond memories and we can correlate spiritual meanings to the symbols that have become associated with Easter. Yet, how much more precious is it to God when we focus more on the sacrificial gift of His Son’s life given for us than on brightly colored eggs? Today, He extends His nail-scarred hands to each of us, welcoming us into His bosom for fellowship – our triumphant and risen Savior! That’s the reason I’m up at 2:00 a.m. – because as I meditated on His great goodness, His selfless sacrifice, and His vibrant victory, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I had to share the Good News of His abundant, extravagant love with someone!

Truly we have many reasons to celebrate the majesty, splendor, and magnificence of Christ’s glory in this season! May the power of HIS resurrection manifest itself in every facet of your life. Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift! (II Corinthians 9:15)

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”

(John 11:25)

Kayren Cathcart's Blog

Observations on daily life and inspiration for spiritual growth…

Gratitude

Real Love In Action IS Action

Appreciating the Beauty of Routine

Reflections on My Fitness Journey

Embracing Maturity

Resistance is Futile: Just Obey!

Are You Blessable?

Mothering is an Action Word

A Bird’s Eye View of My Environment

Life’s Little Joys

The Best Gift: The Resurrection and the Life