Take Another Look: Before and After

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Many times when I’m at home, I eat “on the go” while standing up at the counter. Today, God nudged me to slow my pace and sit down at the table. Really? OK. I opened the curtains to survey my backyard while I enjoyed my lunch. Sure, I see my backyard all the time. But today, I took a moment to really look at it. And what I saw surprised me.

Today is overcast, gray, and cloudy. The badminton net my hubby triumphantly struggled to anchor to the ground has blown over into defeated crumple. A lone bird sits atop a neighbor’s roof. The box where our garden thrived has been cleared out; it’s an empty space now. Not one leaf remains on the tree swaying in the cold, biting wind. Palm tree stumps – all that’s left of what got hewn down after the first frost – sit staunchly as if waiting for warmth that is nowhere in sight. Huge patches of brown grass outnumber sprigs of rapidly fading green grass. What a bleak and dreary picture.

It seemed like just a few weeks ago when birds chirped happily as they raided the bird feeders. Sunbeams streamed through puffy clouds on the backdrop of a bright blue sky, sometimes laced with a delightful rainbow if we peeked at the right time. Our garden yielded a weekly bounty of fresh vegetables bursting with life. The green palm trees my hubby planted waved in the warm gentle breeze. Leaves and cherry blossoms filled another tree, and a lush carpet of grass invited us out to play until sunset. Yet, looking at the backyard reminded me of the importance – and inevitable passing – of the seasons. After having a kinda “blah” day yesterday, I needed that message: this too shall pass.

I love watching makeover shows like “What Not To Wear,” “How Do I Look,” “Neat,” and “Clean House.” Seeing the transformation of a person’s thought patterns – as evidenced by an improvement in their personal appearance or a new arrangement of their living space – is intriguing to me. Perhaps this backyard glimpse was just the reminder I needed that God’s promise of newness will surely accompany the approach of Spring. I am thankful for the quiet moment of reflection as I anticipate God’s promises yet to be fulfilled…a new year awaits around the corner, doesn’t it?

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17)

Where Are You On the Totem Pole?

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During a recent conversation with a brother in Christ, I mentioned several of these things, and his response was, “That sounds like a blog entry to me!” So I’m sharing this with you in obedience…may you meditate on God’s Word to those He loves. After all, this season is about reflecting on His extravagant love, demonstrated through the precious gift of Christ…oh, how we need Him!

In these turbulent times, it pays to be in proper position according to God’s will. Often, we feel that we should be in a higher position at work, paid more, given more responsibility, recognized more. Have you ever considered that, at least for this season, you’re exactly where God wants you to be? In order to learn, you have to admit that you don’t know everything – OUCH! If you’re in the role of a student, you’re learning something new, or you’re someone who has a manager and is being managed, there’s a reason! In my first job straight out of college, I thought I was ready for a management position until I was honest with myself and admitted, “I really need a manager; I don’t have it together like I thought I did! There are some skills I must sharpen before I’m truly prepared to accept a role with that level responsibility.”

As we celebrate the season of the birth of Christ, we must acknowledge that a stable was not the expected point of entry for a King, right? However, that’s exactly how God planned it. When we are humble, it’s easier to condescend to men of low estate than when we are high-minded and haughty (Romans 12:16). Being what others consider the “low man on the totem pole” may be a position of safety, security, and provision for you. Getting out from under that umbrella may expose you to undue problems and complications. As my husband says, “I don’t need to be important; during war, “important people” get killed first.”

We cannot assess worth and significance based solely on what our natural senses tell us. Only God knows when a washpot has more value than a Ming vase. The vase may look exquisite when displayed on a shelf, but what practical purpose does it serve? The washpot gets used daily – multiple times a day. So how are you allowing God to use you these days? Is He receiving glory from your life because you’re submitted to His will, even when (and especially when) it punishes your flesh?

Stay low. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. Then watch what He will do next…

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

(Romans 12:3)

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

(I Peter 5:5-7)

Obedience vs. the Sloppy Seconds of “Doing God a Favor”

Posted by kayrencathcart

favor – act of kindness, good deed, help, aid

Have you ever felt like you were “doing God a favor?” Like He should be content that at least you did A and B, even though you didn’t do C like He instructed?

Tell the truth – there was a day when showing up at church on a non-holiday was a major accomplishment for you, and you felt like God should be completely satisfied now that you’d “checked the box” for the year. As if your mere presence would be considered the greatest gift since sliced bread. As if He didn’t desire to bless you for coming to learn His character, to be strengthened and challenged by His Word, and to fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ. As if you wouldn’t grow, develop, and mature the more you were exposed to the truth of His Word. As if it was all about your comfort and pleasure, instead of you glorifying, serving, and worshipping Him with your life. As if.

I am convinced that God doesn’t need my help; He requires my obedience. And that’s better than any sacrifice I can offer as an alternative, substitution, or replacement for what He asks of me. Even when it’s hard on my flesh. Especially when it’s hard on my flesh. Are you listening to His voice? Let Him work in you…

“And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.”

(I Samuel 15:22)

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”

(Philippians 2:13)

Real Love In Action IS Action

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I’m just sayin’…

Real love makes you pan fry fish on a weeknight at your spouse’s request. Without grumbling. Or rolling your eyes…at least not a lot. After you’ve worked all day – and he has, too. When you were excited that there was already a meal prepared during your massive amounts of weekend free time (NOT!) and waiting in the fridge. So you were planning to kinda chill out after checking homework, facilitating bath time, reading bedtime stories, and tucking children in. And you’re on Weight Watchers and you know that you don’t need to have fried food. Even though you put some fish in the oven to bake it for yourself. Because it’s healthier. And you didn’t get to exercise today because you forgot about the lunch meeting with co-workers on your calendar during your workout time. And you “treated” yourself to french fries then when you didn’t really need ‘em.

But you’re a southern chef (sort of) and naturally, you taste while you cook. So at least you eat more baked fish than fried fish once it’s all cooked. And you’re happy to serve your spouse with a smile. Because you’re grateful that God has blessed you with this particular spouse. Even though it would’ve been a little (okay, maybe a lot) easier to make a healthier choice if your spouse had asked for baked fish. But you love your spouse and you want them to have what they ask for. With hot sauce, of course. Did I mention that the baked fish was really good, but the fried fish was slammin’?

Real love in action. Know what I’m sayin’? Yeah, that also includes my workout tomorrow…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(I Corinthians 13:13, NIV)

Appreciating the Beauty of Routine

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So this is maturity, eh? Let me back up. To understand the significance of this epiphany, you’d have to know that I grew up as one of those über-creative types who thrived on new, unique, and exciting experiences – always something different. I thought a person who adhered to a schedule was a boring stick-in-the-mud. Quite frankly, predictability was not appealing to me. But that was then…

My dad is retired from a 20-year Air Force career. I believe he’d have blown a bugle to get us up every morning…if he’d had a bugle (I shudder to think!). I could set my clock by him – and probably still can – because he’s regimented. But that routine helps him. And after I left off living under his roof and went to college, I became aware of how much his routine helped me. So when I got married, did I walk into a leisurely free-for-all? To the contrary – my wonderful husband was also an Air Force man with a strong foundation of consistent daily habits. Sigh…obviously, God’s trying to tell me something, right? Yeah, it boils down to that inescapable “ingrained discipline is a forced habit that’s good for ya” thing…

Allow me to share my “I could’ve had a V-8!” moment from last week. I was talking to a co-worker who’d spent a lot of money on a personal fitness trainer a year or two ago, but had recently gained more weight than he wants to carry. I encouraged him to start walking (a mere 15 minutes) during his break just to get moving. He nodded and asked genuinely, “What’s your workout routine?” When I didn’t immediately scoff at him, but instead chirped enthusiastically, “I take classes at the gym during lunchtime because I need to be around other people while I’m exercising!” I knew I’d turned a major corner. I admit that I actually like knowing what I was gonna do on my gym days! Conversely, when I get out of routine, I tend to lapse back into old, not-so-healthy habits – and it’s not worth breaking my momentum. Now, I look forward to my fun fitness classes (and hanging out with the people in them) with joyful anticipation instead of loathsome dread. “Yeah, I need to start again,” my co-worker agreed. You go, buddy! Start again indeed…

Routine helps in our spiritual lives, too. What spiritual discipline do you commit to work on this week? Start again indeed!

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

(Philippians 1:6)

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

Reflections on My Fitness Journey

Posted by kayrencathcart

A trainer at my gym recently asked me to submit an article for the monthly newsletter; I’m sharing it with you and hoping you’re doing something each day to stay healthy. If you’re in the Charlotte area, I invite you to check out a free workout at Elements for Women – tell ‘em Kayren sent ya!

Special thanks to Kevin Mills (my fellow Paper Polisher) for his expert editing of this piece! 🙂

I’ve encountered my share of speed bumps on the road to personal health and wellness in my lifetime. Admittedly, many were self-imposed. When I finally got serious about making some positive changes for a healthier lifestyle (instead of desperately grasping at the latest weight loss scheme), Elements was there with a support system designed to ensure my success.

Since I started working out again (after my long hiatus), Elements has been like training wheels on a bike, bumpers at the bowling alley, and safety scissors – all rolled into one. The staff helps me celebrate my small victories, challenges me to set goals, and pushes me straight out of my comfort zone. Truthfully, I look forward to seeing other class participants on a regular basis. It’s become so much more than just a gym – it’s a community.

Before joining Elements, my weight loss plan basically consisted of getting my wisdom teeth extracted. Today, however, I understand the importance of incorporating physical activity into my schedule at least 3 times a week. And after sweating non-stop for a full 45 minutes, it’s much easier to choose to eat a more balanced diet! 🙂

Since joining Elements and starting Weight Watchers in June, I’ve lost over 16 pounds. But I’m prouder of the fact that I can actually jump rope for 30 seconds; I couldn’t do THAT 2 months ago! I was winded during my first Walking Boot Camp Club session, but now I can keep up with the best of them. In a few months, my posture has improved (thanks, Pilates instructors!), my muscles are getting stronger (my abs are somewhere between a 6-pack and a 2 liter), I’ve lost half of my double chin (good riddance), and my shadow is actually shrinking.

From sedentary to simply spectacular… I’m on my way! It’s all about making progress, being consistent, and staying committed – one step at a time, one day at a time, and one healthy decision at a time.

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

(I Corinthians 6:19)

Embracing Maturity

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This July was full of blogworthy events, but you didn’t hear from me because I’ve been honeymooning with my spouse! While the little ones visited their grandparents in another state for an entire month, hubby and I took that opportunity to focus on each other (without reminding children to take their baths, clean their rooms, finish their veggies, or stop giggling and go to bed NOW!) and build our marriage. Though we’ll enthusiastically celebrate our 10-year anniversary in a few months, it’s important for couples to regularly build in time for reflection, restoration, and rejuvenation. You wouldn’t believe how routine can turn into a rut that wears you down!

On the eve of my children returning from their away-from-home adventures, I anticipate that they’ve grown a lot and learned many new things they’ll be eager to share. I’m somewhat of a “helicopter parent,” so it took maturity on my part to let them go. However, our job as parents is to train our children and prepare them to be functional and successful without us – that’s what a healthy growing up experience is all about. My youngest child was homesick the first week, but I knew that exposure to a different environment would help her to be well-rounded (especially since she’ll transition from daycare to kindergarten over the next three weeks). We don’t always get to choose our surroundings, so it’s good to learn how to adapt. I know she has matured. My oldest child seems to thrive when meeting new people, so I think he probably enjoyed not having me hovering over him; I’m learning to give him room to spread his wings (while still setting boundaries and parameters, of course!).

They’re excited about seeing their redecorated room, and I look forward to seeing their beach-tanned faces and getting big hugs! We all made it through summer vacation, and we have maturity to show for it. We’ll give each other grace as we transition back into working as a unit – and with patience, we’ll get acclimated to the changes we’ve each undergone in one month. We’re supposed to grow, develop, and mature – God didn’t call us to stay the same…in the spiritual realm or in the natural realm. So don’t fight the situations that are causing you to stretch beyond your comfort zone! God is maturing you for His purposes. 🙂

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

(II Peter 3:18)

Resistance is Futile: Just Obey!

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How many times do we hear God speaking to us, sense the Holy Spirit nudging us to go a certain way, and we do exactly the opposite? I had an important reminder of the importance of obedience this week. Actually, I’ve had a LOT of reminders recently (like blinking neon signs!), but I’m just writing about a couple today. 🙂

I decided to drop some bags off at my office early in the morning before hopping on the train so I wouldn’t have to lug them all over tarnation. Reasonable enough, right? Well, there was a red “No Parking” sign affixed to the meter in front of my building (that wasn’t there the LAST TIME I dashed in); during morning rush hour, no parking was permitted on this thoroughfare. Hmmm, drag all these heavy bags for 3 blocks, or rush up to the 23^rd floor to drop these off? I slipped into the parallel parking spot way before 7:30 a.m. as I justified the validity of my risky choice. I saw a police officer nearby and asked him if it would be okay for me to leave my car for 3 minutes to put the bags into my office; he was “hands-off,” saying he didn’t have anything to do with parking matters, and that I’d be rolling the dice. (Like he was gonna say, “Go ahead, disobey the law.”)

I thanked him politely, then darted with my cadre of bags and full-sized umbrella up the elevator shaft, asking the security guard at the front desk to watch my car as I raced by. Heart rate elevated, I dropped my load and ran back to the elevator and headed for my car. The security guard said, “You’d better hurry; you’re about to get towed.” I got to my car just as the parking man (accompanied by the tow truck!) was taking my plate information. The cherry on top was him saying, “You parked here and the police officer said he told you not to.” I had no recourse at all. I humbled myself and said yes sir, thank you, you’re right, I apologize, and got into my car shaking as I drove off. How would I have explained the car getting towed to my hubby??? I shudder to think…God is truly gracious.

But it didn’t have to be that way. Had I been obedient in the first place, I would’ve never encountered the parking law enforcer! No need for an adrenaline rush when we obey – whether it’s God’s laws, or the law of the land. It really is simple – we just have to obey. We were created to. Things work better when we do.

With that said, I am adding an extra layer of accountability as I announce to the blogosphere that I’ve gone from do-nothing to joining a gym AND joining Weight Watchers in less than a week. Okay, I’ve been resisting the idea while knowing I need to lose weight and start exercising (again) for a very long time, but I finally decided to do something this week. And it took messages (like blinking neon signs!) from soooo many people God placed in my path to help me get back on the right track. Making a decision is powerful. Taking action is even more empowering. Now that I’m here, I welcome you to join me on my new journey. I’ll have lots of new stuff to write about, that’s for sure. I have my first Personal Training session next week. Stay tuned…

“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”

(II Corinthians 10:4-6)

Are You Blessable?

Posted by kayrencathcart

What a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend I enjoyed, surrounded by my munchkins and their daddy…and saturated, drenched, and overwhelmed with lots of love.

My crew nearly had to alligator wrestle me into going out to breakfast on Saturday morning. What can I say? I’m genetically predisposed to think it’s much easier and less expensive for me to make pancakes at home than for us to sit in a restaurant that obviously doesn’t add “mama’s love” as an essential ingredient. Though I was quite delighted and content with the colorful array of homemade cards and paper flowers that came home from school on Friday, I finally gave in and we headed to breakfast. I knew they wanted to show their appreciation for me, but it was hard not to orchestrate all the details – since that’s what we moms do 24/7! I ended up enjoying myself.

Saturday afternoon, the Women’s Fellowship at my church visited a local women’s shelter to make arts and crafts with the residents’ children so they could give their mothers a gift for the holiday. I saw a range of expressions on the children’s faces, and I was even more grateful to have a home where I could raise and nurture my own children. Outreach to others is key for balanced perspective maintenance.

On Sunday morning came the biggest surprise of all. As my family walked into church, the men of the church (lined up like an Honor Guard) welcomed each woman with a single wrapped rose and directed her to a continental breakfast prepared in the Fellowship Hall – completely unexpected. The brothers looked sharp! I had no idea that the black suit, white shirt, and black tie look my hubby sported had been planned, let alone coordinated with the other men of the church for weeks…impressive.

After savoring a donut I didn’t need, I headed to the sanctuary to prepare for my role as choir director. My pastor stopped me to say that we didn’t need to put on choir robes until after he made his opening announcement. No prob – I adjusted my microphone to my 5’0” frame and handed the sound booth tech my CD for the sermonic solo, then headed to Sunday School. An hour later, I was seated in the congregation, awaiting Pastor’s announcement before taking my place in the choir stand. Wasn’t I surprised to see eight brothers – including my hubby – file up to the choir stand and begin the Praise & Worship service? I thought, “Well, when they finish this song, I’ll get in place.” But they just kept on singing (with my short microphone in front of a tall brother) – and they sounded good! They’d been rehearsing for weeks…unbeknownst to me! What a splendid gift to be able to bask in God’s presence and enjoy intimate worship during a break from serving. I’m glad a box of tissues was nearby; tears flowed freely down my cheeks until the sermon began. I was truly touched, and I experienced the love of God poured out through the actions of His people – His men.

That morning, I had planned to perform my regular routine, but God had fantastic surprises in store for me. Are you able to receive the blessings He’s ready to bestow upon you? Allow His pure love to soften your heart so you don’t miss one goodie!

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

(I Corinthians 2:9)

“Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

(Psalm 37:4)

“…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6b)

Mothering is an Action Word

Posted by kayrencathcart

Guess what? The baby robins have hatched! After getting over last week’s trauma of seeing one bright blue egg that fatefully tumbled out of the nest and shattered on my front porch (c’est la vie, I suppose), I’ve gotta say that it was pretty neat to see tiny yellow beaks poking out from the top of the nest this morning. Soon, we’ll have more chirping melodic strains filling the air than we know what to do with. Until then, these little creatures appreciate their mother’s presence and welcome the sustenance, protection, and nurturing she provides. This will be interesting to observe in the coming days.

Mothering (which I use as a verb) is an action word – just like love requires, is accompanied by, and is manifested through action. The skills, traits, and abilities that make one a good mother may not be inherent or innate, but we learn what to do over time, with patience, and through the process of trial-and-error. We blend influences from our own backgrounds and personal experiences – along with input from various “mommy mentors,” as I like to call them – to create our personal brand of mothering.

From the woman who can’t recall the last time she pampered herself – to the woman who makes “me time” a priority so she can give her best to her family – to the woman who multitasks until she can’t remember what she was supposed to be doing in the first place…I admire you all, and can relate to many of your experiences! Each mother is unique, and each child is unique; hence, each mother-child relationship is unique. I believe God grants us favor while we make necessary sacrifices and commit to building healthy relationships with our children during every stage in their lives as their needs change.

My daughter ministered in dance for the first time last Sunday with several other young girls – it was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold. I found myself blinking back tears (of joy, of being overwhelmed, of seeing a miniature version of myself doing what I was once flexible enough to do) as I watched my own “little robin” finally outside of her nest and branching out beyond my incubating feathers. Just days away from her 5^th birthday, I saw her whole life – from birth to that very moment in time where she danced like an angel – flash before my eyes. She is growing up – and where did the time go?! Yes, I got emotional for a minute there, but I had to “keep it together” long enough to sing a solo right after they danced…what a tough act to follow! 🙂 Nevertheless, that is why we raise our children – so they can grow, develop, mature, and become equipped to face life confidently with the lessons we’ve instilled in them.

So to those of you who are mothers, I salute you – not only on Mother’s Day, but every day. Because truly, every day is Mother’s Day! May we answer God’s call to minister to His children with love, grace, and joy. Indeed, it is an honorable and noble calling…

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.

I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

(Psalm 71:5-7)

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

(Psalm 139:13-14)

Kayren Cathcart's Blog

Observations on daily life and inspiration for spiritual growth…

Gratitude

Take Another Look: Before and After

Where Are You On the Totem Pole?

Obedience vs. the Sloppy Seconds of “Doing God a Favor”

Real Love In Action IS Action

Appreciating the Beauty of Routine

Reflections on My Fitness Journey

Embracing Maturity

Resistance is Futile: Just Obey!

Are You Blessable?

Mothering is an Action Word