let it go

Purging In Progress!

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Propelled by the momentum of discarding old, unnecessary materials at work and organizing what remains, I made a major leap forward this weekend – I attacked (and conquered) the angst-evoking clutter corner in my kitchen!  Celebrate with me!  I was so ashamed of the piles of 3-ring binders, year-old children’s artistic masterpieces, choir rehearsal lyric sheets, Christmas photo cards, expired coupons that I’d had every good intention of using, et cetera…but I had also become complacent about it – can you relate?  I’d cook, load the dishwasher, disinfect my countertops, and sweep the floor, but that menacing corner always lurked just beyond the grasp of my ever-elusive ideal of being “finally organized.” 

Well, this weekend, I made a decision to just do it – no matter how tired or disheartened I felt (and believe me, I felt both!).  I even rediscovered (and subsequently tossed out – devoid of my usual emotional attachment) a boarding pass from a summer 2008 plane trip…don’t ask – of course I had no clue it was there, so I won’t miss it.  I wasn’t even saving it for sentimental reasons; it had just accumulated, like most of the other bits and pieces straining my poor, overburdened little side table.  And you know what?  I felt better when I was done – because the seemingly overwhelming task that had loomed overhead for far too long had been completed…at last.  After that, I pressed on toward the office – another potential abyss of clutter pandemonium (to which I was a chief contributor).  With a furrowed and resolute brow, I declared war on the army of boxes that had assembled in the middle of my floor; I think I won the battle.  Some contents were discarded; the contents of other boxes were consolidated.  And the Earth did not stop rotating or revolving because I threw some stuff away – what a relief!

Before I could ever change my external environment, I had to change my mind – and that was preceded by allowing God to change my heart.  It was (and continues to be!) a process…one that took (and is still taking!) time and patience.  And growth and maturity.  And a commitment to change.  We don’t like to admit that “our stuff ain’t working,” but God is gentle, patient, kind, and loving as He guides us into what we deem to be new territory.  So I guess my Pastor’s sermon series on “Allowing God to Do a New Thing” is really taking root…and bearing fruit.  I am grateful. 🙂

 “For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”

(II Peter 1:8-9)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Starting Small: Every Victory Counts

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Everything has changed.  My company’s merger has come and gone, leaving behind altered team structures, roles, and job responsibilities.  So why have I been holding onto the past?  I too must change.

Today, I discarded contents of files I’d had from 2 managers ago – now neither of them is with the company.  I seriously doubt that they reminisce about our extended series of meetings to map out the departmental communication strategy, nor do I think they’d be saddened to know that I tossed out memorabilia to commemorate said gathering.  Because they’ve moved on.  And so must I.

If my desk clutter was any indication of what I’ve been retaining and storing in the cavities and recesses of my brain, draining energy and life from my own present, then I’ve got a lot more mental purging to do!  Glad I don’t have to tackle this alone…

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

(Philippians 1:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

My Clean Start: Seizing the Moment of Inspiration

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Today, I started the great purge.  No, not the purge of paper clutter in my home – that will come later this week.  (No, really – I’m serious.  It has to…my hubby said so!).  I had to build up my endurance.  So I hit the web and found some good resources from a “paper organization” search and used that to motivation to propel me to start from where I was – at my desk at work.

Yes, sad to admit, I have retained files from my previous position (completely and utterly unrelated to what I do now) that are over three years old and were untouched since I moved into this cube.  Out they went as I felt the wind of exhilaration rush through my hair.  Or not.  I didn’t think I’d have the courage to slip them through the slit of the locked recycling bin, into the one-way slot abyss, never to return to my fingertips…but away they went.  I was surprised that it got easier as I went along, guided by the question grounded in reality, “What’s the worst possible thing that could happen if I threw this away?”  Since I couldn’t manufacture a reasonable-sounding cataclysmic or apocalyptic consequence, I parted with much of my desk paper today.  That was a baby step in the big scheme of my paper cosmos – yet, a significant step in the right direction.

Now to overcome my anxiety and attack one room at home – the office – this weekend.  God even sent a co-worker to encourage me to dig and discover the root of why I’m apprehensive to get rid of stuff I don’t need or that’s not adding joy to my life. (Duh – it’s because I figure I just might need it!  But I’ve gotta let go of that ridiculous thinking).  Halfway joking, she said, “I might have to pop in over at your house to help you keep the momentum!”  You know, I believe she just might do it.  Preparation is priceless…

“Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.”

(Matthew 24:44)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Bill of Lading: Putting Down Burdens That Weren’t Mine to Begin With

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So I called the “Calgon – take me away!” hotline today, slightly dismayed to find out the line was busy…imagine that!  Here I am clamoring and clawing in desperation for someone to stop the dizzying, frenetic pace of the merry-go-round of a schedule I feel stuck on, only to realize in a flash of clarity that I am the person who can make it stop.  That’s a rather empowering realization.

Once again, I got caught up in a cycle of madness, only to return to the footstool of Jesus – bedraggled, worn, and spent – asking Him to restore me.  I could just imagine His eyes twinkling as He gently admonished, “Since you’ve finished trying to do My job, are you ready to try it My way now?”

Maturity has taught me that I don’t have to be near a breakdown to have these creatively inspired, introspective, pensively poetic moments…but you’ve gotta admit, it makes for good reading!  🙂

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Buildup and Residue

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I was so very warm, cozy, and super comfy in the bed when I muttered to myself, “Must – pass – test.”  See, staying in the bed either when summoned by inspiration to write or when nudged by the Holy Spirit to pray were two areas I’d seriously slacked in.  However, that is not a testimony of excellence…so here I am.  I’ve got to get rid of that residue from the way I “used to” do business.

While getting my hair fixed recently, I saw for myself the impact of product buildup.  The lady in the chair next to me was afflicted by hairspray residue causing a mass of fine flakes that I thought looked like dandruff.  Yes, it looked really bad on the black cape that draped her shoulders.  As the stylist educated her (while I eavesdropped), I began to wonder what it looks like on the inside when we let things build up without getting rid of them over time.  If we don’t wash the junk away regularly, it will accumulate.  So it is with our hearts.  If we allow negative thoughts – or just “plain ol’ sin” in general – to build up, eventually we’re going to explode. 

Real-life examples of residue include oil particulates left in a pan you just washed; egg fragments stuck on a spatula that just ran through the dishwasher; malice, unforgiveness, hurt, bitterness, anger, and anything left over from the old fleshly life (attitudes included).  Gasoline commercials warn that buildup on a car’s engine will slow its performance and impede its peak operating effectiveness.  Why wouldn’t it be so with our hearts?  It is.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

(James 4:8)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Loss or Gain?

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I never connected to Philippians 3 like this before.  Who wants to say that their past accomplishments and accolades no longer count and are worth diddly-squat?  It’s not human nature to acknowledge that I have no righteousness of my own, but I must win Christ and be found in Him.  I certainly breezed past those “fellowship of His sufferings” and “being made conformable unto His death” parts.  Death sounded mighty final – because IT IS.  Death – not sexy, not glamorous, but unavoidable, certain, and inescapable.  The portal through which I must pass to gain His life – life eternal.

My pastor recently told us to allow God to “blow some things up in us,” things that have been entrenched and deep-seated.  Detonation’s after-effects are destruction.  Who wants to go rummaging and rambling through rubble attempting to salvage the past?  In that respect, I suppose it’s just easier to start over again.  This level of self-disclosure is getting painfully more uncomfortable.  It was already beyond my control, but now everything is open season.  Why?  Because God will get the return on His investment.  If He put me here in the earth and gave me a specific assignment, I’d better get to getting’.  Hear that?  It’s the sound of the rubber meeting the road.

The suffering of the multitudes impacted by the Haitian earthquake has been prominently displayed in the news – and rightfully so.  Hopefully, it has provoked us to intense gratitude for what we already have…so much.  My prayer is that His perfect will be made manifest even in the midst of what seems to be a desolate and overwhelming situation.  He comes through in extraordinary times like this, you know!

“But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.”

(Philippians 3:7)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Razed Before Being Raised

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What a timely title in light of our prayers for the people impacted by the Haiti earthquake.  Selah.

Completely torn down.  That’s what I’ve come face to face with regarding my past, and it’s a bit bizarre.  When you think your past was okay, or really cool, then you get a breaking news update that you’ve gotta let it go, it can be unsettling.  Perhaps that’s why I hadn’t written much in the new year to post – because I could see change a-comin’ but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Throwing “but I used to…” out of one’s vocabulary can be disconcerting – nevertheless, it’s needful.  Something on a recent makeover and personal transformation show really resonated with me, “You have to let go of who you were to embrace who you’re becoming.”  Not so “deep” when referring to fashion sense or a style philosophy, but at that moment, it was profound for me.

Another culminating “Twilight Zone” moment occurred this weekend when my children were playing VHS tapes of me from high school…1993 to be exact.  As my maiden name flashed up on the screen during an interview about a scholarship I’d won, my children asked, “Who is that?!”  Yes dear ones, who is that, indeed. 

So this year unfolds with yet another set of opportunities to emerge as that new creature in Christ.  Old things are passed away.  So what’s next?  I’m not quite sure.  But I do know that when spiritual demolition is complete, the new building that rises from below ground level is more impressive, more updated, and more sturdy than what formerly occupied the space.  In this I take comfort.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Demolition Cometh: Make Room for Progress

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Have you ever noticed how unattentive you really are?  This week, I got a good reminder. 

There used to be a Subway restaurant across the street from the train station I wait at twice a day, five times a week.  I didn’t realize the Subway had moved or otherwise gone out of business until two days ago when I became painfully aware that a significant portion of the strip mall was missing, occupied instead by a wrecking machine.  “Wow,” I thought to myself.  “When did all of this happen?!  I pass this site twice a day and had no clue it was gonna be knocked down.”  Perhaps the land would be deemed more valuable without the structure currently standing on it, but it was a decision that had been made previously by the “powers that be;” I’m sure they had to obtain permits and permissions, and finally, I was witnessing the execution of a plan.  And it was going quickly.  It seemed so…destructive.  And final.  But I suppose that’s what’s necessary before progress takes place.  Out with the old and in with the new…

What negative habits and restrictive thought patterns need to get torn down from your 2009 mindset before you leap into 2010?  Don’t try to do “historic preservation” on something that would be better off demolished.  After all, progress cometh…if you allow it.  Let God do a new thing in you – starting today.  Start right now.

© Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

 “And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old.”

(Luke 5:36)

Keep it Moving: Purge!

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As a beloved administrator in the Academic Skills Center told us as bright-eyed freshmen at the University of Richmond, “Don’t forget your fiber; you’ll need your roughage.”  We giggled, snickered, and chortled during orientation (because – as teenagers – of course we already knew everything, right?).  Yet, after substituting mom’s home-cooking for cafeteria fare and pulling late-night study sessions back-to-back with early morning classes, we became all-too-aware of our need for fiber and roughage to stay balanced and healthy.  Sure, pizza and ice cream (and all the goodies in-between) were fun and quick to eat – but when we needed substance and sustenance, we had to go back to the basics and put in the good stuff – fruits, veggies, protein, complex carbohydrates…you know the drill.

Our arteries long to be cholesterol-free.  Our colons would appreciate a rest from the incessant inflow of processed foods.  Our airways yearn for pure oxygen untainted by pollutants.  It’s no fun to be clogged, stopped up, or constipated – naturally or mentally.  Have you experienced a sluggish mind lately?  Maybe there’s a build-up of negative thoughts, unforgiveness, or bitterness that you just need to let go.  Perhaps inane bits of trivia occupy your valuable cranial space where you could have some real productivity if you cleared the mental clutter.  Whatever’s prohibiting your creativity – banish it from your personal space. 

Identify what is blocking, obstructing, congesting, jamming, choking, plugging, stifling, suffocating, strangling, gagging, or otherwise halting your process and free-flow of life, love, and creativity.  Then do something about it.

And remember: fiber is good!  🙂

 © Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

 “Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”

(II Corinthians 7:1)

Clear the Clutter to Get Victory in Your Secret Place

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“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.”

(Proverbs 4:23, Amplified)

How many of us have emotional baggage and mental clutter that gets in the way when we realize our need to press into the presence of God?  Let me be the first one to raise my hand!  Too often, we allow issues, concerns, and circumstances to accumulate and gather steam.  Instead of releasing them to God and allowing the breath of the Holy Spirit to blow them away, we give life to the very things that come to choke the life out of us.  What started as a question has grown into full-blown worry; what began as a gnawing feeling of insecurity has mushroomed into a cloud of doubt; and what was initially apprehension has spun out of control into a tornado of fear.  Before we know it, confusion looms overhead as a daunting force to be reckoned with – and we wonder, “Where did that come from?!”  A foreign substance has infiltrated your secret place, but I have good news: it doesn’t have to stay that way!

Secret means confidential, private, restricted, covert, clandestine, and concealed.  Everyone doesn’t (and shouldn’t) have access to things classified as secret!  The heart is the secret place where God desires to dwell and have habitual fellowship with us.  When we lead a double life or “straddle the fence” (because we’re not honest with God, ourselves, or others), the secret place becomes defiled. 

Inconsistencies between our talk and our walk reveal a need for God’s intervention and a commitment on our part to be transformed by the power of His Word.  The scripture says we must “keep and guard” our hearts – these are action words, not passive terms!   People who exhibit behavior contrary to the Word of God (which they may even profess!) indicate that they have a problem with boundaries, obedience, and God-given authority.  Behind their destructive or addictive habits, they’re screaming out, “I’m hurt!”  They accepted a “substitute fix” – but alas, it doesn’t satisfy the hunger growing in the pit of their souls.  They say they have faith, but they’re terrified deep down on the inside.  They say they love their brothers and sisters, but something bubbles in the pit of their stomach when they see them.  They say they have peace, but they find no rest.  These are the things God wants to address in the secret place – because when you get quiet, you have to face the real you and deal with your issues of trust and intimacy with God. 

You might be thinking, “That’s not me!  But I know somebody else who fits those characteristics!”  However, I encourage you to examine your own secret place closely.

When the spirit of compromise enters your heart, you’ll rationalize, justify, and make excuses – but all that matters is the truth of God’s Word.  To probe a little deeper in this area, ask God to help you identify:

  • What issue do you avoid facing and dealing with?
  • What obstacle appears impossible to overcome?
  • What challenge do you feel inadequate to conquer?
  • What terrifying fear has gripped and paralyzed you?

To walk upright in integrity is priceless – but it is attainable.  Give God unrestricted access to your secret place today – He will bring to light those things that have been hidden in plain sight from you.  He’ll uncover the treasures He placed in you that were tangled with the clutter of negative thoughts and images.  And He’ll cleanse you of those things you tried to hide, but no longer have need of.   May the clear springs of life flow from your heart forevermore…

To get victory in your secret place:

  1. Stop where you are – don’t get in deeper!
  2. Cry out to God earnestly and repent – humble yourself.
  3. Ask for God’s help and direction – listen!
  4. Obey! Begin to walk in the direction He shows you, without hesitation.

© 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart