let it go

Veggie Tales: Dying on the Vine

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cucumber shriveled 7-23-18

A shriveled cucumber in our garden caught my attention. Not able to provide nutrients or nourishment, it languished. I knew it would never make it to a salad on MY table! Its label said “cucumber,” but its presentation said “washed-up has-been.” Sure, it was in the right place, surrounded by like kind…but it was deficient (lacking something), and the overwhelming evidence of its inadequacy presented itself as the sun beat down mercilessly on all the garden’s inhabitants. It was a pitiful sight.

Could this offer a similar parallel to us in relation to those who surround us? We want to show that we’re just as healthy, healed, and whole as the next person, but deep down inside, we know that we require the touch of the Master Gardener to tend us back to vibrancy and vitality. Whether we need an adjustment of our intake of sun, water, fertilizer, or even the dreaded (but necessary) pruning, we know we need His presence.

Today, I encourage you to take every shriveled cucumber in your life, lay it at the Masters feet, and ask Him to do a work of restoration in you. It won’t likely be instantaneous, and it will probably involve process and obedience – but it’s worth it to be connected to your Divine Source. Stay connected to the True Vine, and watch Him cultivate something beautiful in your life.

“4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
(John 15:4-5)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

My Walk: Steps to Greater Commitment

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2k steps 7-23-18

I’m walking in the Spirit…

Saturday morning, I walked. Outside. Alone. Spontaneously. Unscheduled. It was exactly what I needed to clear my head and take in God’s creation all around me.

As I passed a neighborhood pool, the sound of gently lapping waves reminded me that He leads me beside still waters and restores my soul (Psalm 23). I saw a beautiful butterfly lilting carelessly on the wind. I saw a decomposing bunny carcass attended by buzzing flies. I also saw a live bunny sitting oh-so-still next to a neighbor’s house and tried to silently warn him of the dangers lurking in the area.

This was out of my regular routine of taking group fitness classes at the gym – but hey, we’re in a new dispensation, so I should be doing new things, right? Between my walk and choir rehearsals, I racked up over 20,000 steps on my Fitbit – which I never thought I’d see in one day, so I was pretty proud of myself. I enjoyed the walk so much that I’m looking forward to taking another one this week. May we daily renew our commitment to walk in close fellowship with our Creator.

“16 this I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the list of the flesh.
25 If we live I the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”
(Galatians 5:16, 25)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Backing Up Into the Mercy of God

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The names have been changed to protect the innocent who may or may not have unintentionally impacted their own garage doors…

As I left the house to pick up my children from their science summer camp, I must’ve gotten my sequence – or at least my timing – out of whack. It kinda changed the course of my afternoon into the epic saga chronicled below. Pop some popcorn – don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

Backstory (because with me, there’s always a backstory, right?): This morning, my valiant husband saw something in the yard that didn’t belong and promptly disposed of it. Since he knows how much I absolutely abhor and detest creepy-crawlies, he was quite inconspicuous about addressing this as part of his “on my way to work” routine. But as I passed the window, I saw something he’d speared hanging from the rake and was taking to the big garbage can. I cringed, grateful that something hadn’t gotten me the last time I went to pick fresh garden basil – eek! I was safe, thanks to my knight in shining armor wielding a yard implement.

With this backstory in mind as I cautiously scanned for signs of an unwanted something anywhere near my garage, I got in the car to go get my children and was ready to shut the door quickly to batten down the hatches and fortify my castle. The radio was on with a Bible story being read, I pressed the garage door opener button, put the car in Reverse, and <clunk!>…wait a minute, that’s NOT a sound I’m used to hearing. I put the car in Drive as I realized the garage door hadn’t finished going up before I accelerated in Reverse. Ugh! Not good.

I tentatively pushed the garage door button and the door made its way back up. Good. I backed up wayyyy more slowly; once out of the garage, I gently pushed the button and saw the door going down…until it was crooked…and stopped moving. Not good. Halfway closed, halfway open…and my house potentially susceptible to something crawling in. Oh noooooo! I’d made up my mind to tell my hubby face-to-face about the slight paint scrape on the vehicle’s point of contact (merely cosmetic, I wistfully assessed). But the mangled, defeated-looking metal door (with a slight vehicle-shaped bulge along the bottom edge) hanging off-kilter necessitated immediate self-disclosure.

With slight apprehension, I dialed my hubby as I drove to pick up the children – on time, mind you – and recounted an abbreviated version of my past 5 minutes. He said he was leaving work immediately to take care of this at home. I guess the inquiry in my sweetest voice, “Who would you call if you needed help getting a garage door to close?” didn’t garner his vote of confidence in my ability to satisfactorily resolve the situation on my own. I can’t say I blamed him.

By the time I returned home with the children (safely and without further incident, thankfully), he was already parked in the driveway and surveying my unsolicited demolition; he must’ve flown from his job. But he looked at me squarely and said, “That’s why we have insurance. We can get another garage door or vehicle, but we can’t replace you.” Talk about being overwhelmed by the manifested love and mercy of God! My hubby’s genuinely compassionate response turned my sheepishness to relief. (Sidebar: Who needs Hallmark Channel fantasies with real life moments like that?! LOL).

After a few RFPs summoning the first garage door professional who could be on-site, the garage door was down about 4 hours later (with only a slight rift at the bottom, hopefully impenetrable by something), its replacement to be installed early next week.

The story could’ve turned out so differently. So I end this day on a note of sincere gratitude to my Creator and Protector (who saw fit to give me a godly husband to watch out for me – ‘cuz obviously I need oversight!), and a resolution to slow down even more. I invite you to take a moment to reflect on God’s mercy in your own life. You don’t even have to back into your own garage door to be reflective! 🙂

“19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
(Lamentations 3:19-26)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

May I Have This Dance?

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choreography – the art of creating and arranging dances

Encyclopedia Britannica emphasizes that the word “choreography” derives from the Greek for “dance” and for “write.” (I love learning about word origins). In the 17th and 18th centuries, it did indeed mean the written record of dances. Neato-burrito! (I’m such a word nerd – ha!). Today, I saw another facet of my Creator: Choreographer of the Universe. I was awestruck.

I caught this unexpected glimpse of His glory as I read II Peter 3:9. I was studying “longsuffering” (not by personal choice…but because it’s an attribute of God AND a fruit of the Spirit – therefore, something that should be evident in my life! LOL) with the assistance of my favorite online lexicon (BLB). When I came to the part of the verse that says “…that all should come to repentance,” I delved into the meaning of “should come” – in Greek, it’s chōréō (G5562) which means “to leave space (which may be filled or occupied by another), to make room, give place, yield.”

I was instantly convicted. I’ve been trying to orchestrate a few situations (or maybe more than a few) in my own life. What wife, mother, daughter, friend, or employee hasn’t done this?! However, a sense of peace and calm came over me as I reflected that in ALL things, I must yield to God’s plan and leave space for HIS will. God is the Master Choreographer, and He knows where everything and everyone is placed on His grand stage. When I choose to dance with and for Him, I can trust and rely on His timing, design, and sequence (for both movement and stillness) to be divinely ordered. My steps won’t be awkward when I allow Him to take the lead. I must make room and leave space to receive from Him as I dance through life, instead of trying to fill in everything on my own and from my limited perspective. This was the realigning reminder I needed before drifting off to sleep with a smile on my face. I encourage you to accept the invitation to take His hand this week, allow Him to lead you, and enjoy the dance!

“Let them praise his name in the dance:
let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.”
(Psalm 149:3)

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
(II Peter 3:9)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Pitching Your Tent Toward Sodom?

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“12 Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan,
and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.
13 But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.”
(Genesis 13:12-13, KJV)

Camping out with sin? Surely, we’d never want to admit this as modern-day believers in Christ. Yet, when we examine our actions and motives, we’re not all that different from Lot who made his dwellingplace in dangerously close proximity to sinful foolishness. We may not be doing evil, reprehensible things, but we’re in the danger zone of being sucked in – getting comfy, cozy, tolerant, and too close for comfort with the world.

The Amplified version of Genesis 13:12-13 makes an even clearer delineation between righteous Abram and his lukewarm nephew Lot:

12 Abram settled in the land of Canaan, and Lot settled in the cities of the valley and camped as far as Sodom and lived there.
13 But the men of Sodom were extremely wicked and sinful against the Lord [unashamed in their open sin before Him].

Lot’s initial choice and continued complacency caught up with him in Genesis 19. That which he’d been enchanted and entranced by (think modern-day entertainment options) was being destroyed before his very eyes, and he had a life-or-death choice to make instantaneously. His wife couldn’t resist the allure of what she’d been watching long enough to obey and save her own neck; she was consumed.

Whatever enticing carrot is being dangled to stir and arouse your lust – whether it’s the promise of something FREE (somebody always pays), that it won’t hurt anybody (sin always leads to death), or that nobody will know (what’s done in darkness always comes to light) – rest assured that obedience to God’s will is the best choice. Oh, it may not render instant gratification, but obedience offers protection from future destruction. In the end, obedience in the present is a better choice than eternal fire.

This week’s mail contained coupons from a donut shop that starts with my first initial – I have to approach that as an “un-gift” when it works in direct opposition to my health goals. I can’t afford to play with the notion of going by when the “hot donuts now” sign is on by conveniently tucking the coupons into my purse – that’s making provision for my flesh and setting myself up to fall and fail. Thanks, but no thanks!  I just shredded those coupons. I can’t pitch my tent anywhere near Sodom.

I had a lapse in judgment and recorded a couple of Hallmark movies this weekend for the elusive “free time” I expected to show up (after all, who can resist the June Brides theme? LOL). As we’re about to “cut the cord” and change service providers, this DVR (and the programs recorded on it) would be going away this week. I reasoned that a 2-hour movie “treat” without commercials wasn’t that bad since I wouldn’t be binge-watching for hours. Who made me justifier of how to use the time God graciously allotted to my account??? When that “free time” didn’t present itself this weekend, I fleetingly contemplated staying up late mid-week just to “get it in” before the cord got cut. That would’ve been like choosing junk food instead of a balanced meal. I repented for even considering temporary accommodations near Sodom with a remote control in my hand, and opted to get some decent sleep on a work night like I had good sense.

We cannot allow circumstances to determine our moral stance. As Christians, our standard is and must always be the righteousness and holiness of God – period. Moral relativism and emotional reasoning cannot prevail; we must choose to obey God in order to receive His reward. Let go of the old things God is showing you…or risk being consumed when the fire of God comes through to burn them up. It’s not worth the gamble when we can just choose to obey and be protected under the Shadow of the Almighty. But He won’t allow us to abide there in a sinful condition – we must be cleansed, and release those old thoughts, habits, hobbies, and addictions that have held us captive for too long. I’m a witness…

“2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known.
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
(Luke 12:2-3, KJV)

“For the wages of sin is death;
but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
(Romans 6:23, KJV)

15 Do not love the world [of sin that opposes God and His precepts], nor the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world—the lust and sensual craving of the flesh and the lust and longing of the eyes and the boastful pride of life [pretentious confidence in one’s resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father, but are from the world.
17 The world is passing away, and with it its lusts [the shameful pursuits and ungodly longings]; but the one who does the will of God and carries out His purposes lives forever.
(I John 2:15-17, AMP)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Power of Active Choice vs. Default

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default – failure to act; course of action that a program or operating system will take when the user or programmer specifies no overriding value or action

Saturday afternoon, I had a great conversation with another mom of growing adolescents. Our chat meandered from grocery store budgeting tips for keeping our giants nourished to specific foods they like. As we talked about the weeknight (anytime!) lifesaver known as ramen noodles, I told her I didn’t eat them anymore because of the high sodium content of the flavor packets. She quickly assured me that she enjoys hers with reduced sodium chicken broth…and I saw sunbeams emitting from the heavens.

Sunday afternoon, my hubby grilled hot dogs for the family. Knowing I didn’t need the excess sodium, I skipped the hot dogs, but wasn’t sure what I wanted for lunch. After my nap, I thought about those ramen noodles and pulled out my low-sodium chicken broth. Three minutes and three dashes of pepper later, I was enjoying some tasty soup on my front porch while birdwatching. It wasn’t until halfway through the bowl that I realized, “Hey, I made a better decision instead of just going along with what everyone else was doing!” I also took a 20 minute walk with my children instead of perfecting my couch potato skills all afternoon.

Fresh off of yesterday’s triumph, I ordered a salad today for lunch. When I opened the box, nestled right next to the wheat crackers and the pickle spear, I noticed a frosted sugar cookie (that I didn’t order) wrapped in cellophane…staring at me…summoning me to take a tiny nibble. I refused the invitation and promptly took the cookie intruder to our office break room so someone else could give it a new home.

So many times I just gave in to the thing in front of me because it was easier than politely declining or steadfastly refusing something that looked/smelled/sounded/seemed soooo good – but really wasn’t. Yet, these past couple of days have been different. So I guess the “Shake Up Your Routine” speech I gave this week at Toastmasters is having an impact on ME. And I’m proud of myself for finally making some necessary changes. Sure, it was “just one meal,” “just one walk,” and “just one cookie that didn’t slide down my gullet.” But it was a start. And it was MY fresh start of commitment to continue down a better path so I can see positive results and experience improved health. This week, challenge yourself not to yield to the default…leave a comment if you’d like some support on your journey – because you’re certainly not the only one who has to put effort into actively making righteous choices!

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”
(Deuteronomy 30:19)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Pull the Plug on Foolishness

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After transparent self-disclosure while teaching Teen Sunday School class last week, I knew by Monday what I had to do. And I was more than a bit irritated as I scrolled past the sports shows and sci-fi stuff to delete the mini-hoard of chick flicks (harmless, right?) I’d accumulated on the DVR since December…here’s the backstory…

I admit that I’m artistic and quirky, perhaps not in that order. I like documentaries, cooking shows, black and white movies, mysteries/suspense/conspiracy theories…and unbeknownst to me until the recent holidays, Christmas movies on Hallmark Channel. The ribbing from my family got so bad that my hubby would enter the room (where I’d hunkered down with popcorn and my comfy fuzzy socks) and smugly grin, “Hey – I know how this one’s gonna end! The dude’s gonna ride in on his white horse and save the day…” He would come in on the last 5 minutes of the movie and blow my warm happy feeling right outta the water (like sports doesn’t get repetitive – someone wins and someone loses every time, right?!).

I’m not a hopeless romantic, but “Cinderella” was my favorite Disney movie as a child (and still is). I say there’s nothing wrong with a formula movie or a predictable movie – I mean, it takes a certain degree of creativity to rework the same plot in 50 different ways and in 50 different movies (whether by changing the setting, the characters, or the theme); I think this nurtured the creative writer in me. I convinced myself that I was just enjoying a movie with a happy ending that seemed like good, clean entertainment. I looked past the lie of Santa Claus, multiple tree lightings on the town square with hot cocoa, countless mentions of luck/wishes juxtaposed with the lack of mentioning Jesus (though multiple holiday carols were sung – how can this be?) to remind myself the importance of witnessing Christ to others – and not just during the Christmas season. However, Christmas movies rolled into Winter movies, which rolled into Valentine’s Day movies. Why? Because this TV channel is an outgrowth of a greeting card company that capitalizes on getting money and marketshare by tugging at the heartstrings and manipulating emotions. And I thought I wanted to work for them after I got out of college…however, I digress.

As I set my DVR to record the movies that looked interesting to me (the ones about career, cooking, and mother/daughter relationships – and don’t forget WEDDINGS and princesses – rose to the top of my list), I was amassing a veritable library for which I couldn’t be the curator. I knew I didn’t have time to watch all of this content and take care of my responsibilities. Plus, they were centered around stuff that doesn’t even pertain to me (dating?! um, hello – I’ve been happily married for 17 years LOL…snowboarding – yeah right, I don’t even pretend to have a personal interest…yet, I watched that movie for 2 hours after my household went to sleep).

Strong conviction came as I talked to my middle-schooler about time-management during our morning commute…after I’d stayed up until 2:30am that morning to watch 4 hours of movies. I couldn’t find where I’d spent 4 hours communing with God or studying His Word over the past week. My actions needed to change to align with what I said were my beliefs (“I love You, Jesus”). So that brought me to this very moment when I knew the fantasy world, make-believe, play-play, pretending, princess fairy tales, and imagination had to come to a screeching halt in the intersection with real life. I briefly considered keeping 1 or 2 movies for a “rainy day,” but quickly dismissed that unviable non-option since I didn’t want to have the accursed thing in my camp. I have discarded anything that might prove to be a stumblingblock.

I must’ve deleted at least 15 movies (both in queue and set to record this weekend)…I stopped counting as I scrolled and clicked the remote. It felt like pulling the plug for the bathtub drain, but it didn’t really hurt. Some movies I’d recorded weren’t particularly worthy of watching – it was just comforting to know I’d have something to watch while the rest of my household was engrossed in sports – mind candy or mental fluff…a way to pass some idle time (like I have that laying around to spare! Something important was obviously going undone, getting neglected, or being postponed). In the midst of my resolute and determined progress, the DVR powered itself down and rebooted. Undaunted, I picked up where I’d left off and plowed ahead determinedly. The recording space available went from 9% to 18%.

Full disclosure: I’ve gotta admit, I was looking forward to watching “Cooking With Love.” And the sequel “All of My Heart: Inn Love” (not because the first one was so good – because it wasn’t stellar – but because I wanted to see what happened next with the characters). Were these movies my personal kryptonite like spy thrillers, solitaire, spy thrillers redux (that I blogged about 7 years ago), or Words With Friends (moment of silence…would someone in my house please play live Scrabble with Mommy so she doesn’t have to think about WWF???). I dunno – but they sure were a distraction from me obeying the Master with a clear heart and mind.

Why am I taking time to put all my stuff in plain sight for everyone to see? Because even if you happen not to be a closet Hallmark Channel junkie, there’s something that competes for your attention, devotion, affections, and investment of time and energy – and it draws you away from building relationship with your Creator. The question is: when are you gonna pull the plug on your foolishness? I just did – now it’s your turn.

“O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.”
(Psalm 69:5)
“I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love.”
(Psalm 119:113)
“The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.”
(Proverbs 15:14)
“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
(Colossians 2:8)

© Copyright 2018 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Relief, Rest, and Release from Unrealistic Expectations

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Over the past month, several wake-up calls have underscored my finite capacity and helpless inability to whip out the “invisible Wonder Woman cape and boots” from the back of the closet at a second’s notice. Not that I didn’t realize I had limitations (gee, am I aware of my personal limitations!)…but in my trying not to focus on them, I kinda blurred the lines between fantasy and reality. I didn’t notice that I’d been slowly but steadily creeping back to attempting to save the world in my own strength – again. But my sheer exhaustion and utter fatigue should’ve tipped me off.

Case in point: Last Thursday, I learned about an extra-curricular activity (regional academic team competition) my children had earned the opportunity to participate in…outside of the city…on this Saturday. (Anyone who knows me is aware that I LIVE by my meticulously updated family calendar). Now a *normal* person who *already* had several commitments on that same day would have no problem identifying that they couldn’t squeeze one more ounce into an already full container. But not me! I didn’t go into flat-out panic mode. Yet, I DID start brainstorming options for how to “make it happen” – for my children, the team, the coach, the school whose reputation would be enhanced by a team win…world peace – yeah, my foolishness was just that lofty and unrealistic. Unfortunately, this entailed either (or all of the following):

  1. Asking my wonderful hubby to forgo his work assignments to get at least one child to another city by 9am…because I was already committed to an activity that starts at 10am in Charlotte.
  2. Putting my child in a car for a 1-hour drive with a parent I’d only met once who was going to the same event.
  3. Assuming that there would be no traffic or accidents on I-85 while attempting to get the second child back for afternoon orchestra rehearsal (for a concert in 2 weeks)…by 1:30pm.
  4. Ignoring the fact that I’m scheduled to be in choir rehearsal Saturday at 1pm, so I probably wouldn’t be of any real assistance in these transportation gyrations.

If you think there were gaping holes in my logic, you’re right…I was just trying to cobble together potential solutions, regardless of the feasibility, practicality, or achievability of my improbable pseudo-goals.

None of these options would fly with my husband (especially the second one: “What do you know about their driving habits, what they’re carrying in their vehicle, who else will be with them?” etc., etc.). I knew before I asked him that I had no satisfactory answers. Yet, I asked anyway, in a feeble attempt to salvage the mirage of “being able to get it all in and assuage all parties involved.” And for what? You already know that he firmly vetoed every option I unconvincingly presented.

The children’s egos wouldn’t have been crushed by not participating; they were cool with it and knew there were prior commitments on our schedule. Yet, I still had that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I didn’t want to have to tell one or more parties, “I’m sorry, but we’re unable to participate in this activity at this time.”

Relief (from self-imposed anxiety because I anticipated potentially disappointing someone else) came only with the cheery e-mail response that the teacher completely understood that I was unable to 1) clone myself, or 2) be in two cities (one hour apart) at the same time. In the meanwhile, I had worked myself up into a froth – in vain. There was absolutely NO GODLY FRUIT to show for this flurry of mental histrionics and “what ifs.” How absurd was that on my part?

So what’s my point? Let’s free ourselves this year from the “what will people say?” mindset. Commit to “stop doing crazy.” Fight that random, bizarre pop-up thought that may be residue from PPD (People-Pleasing Disorder) or CHD (Chronic Helping Disorder) that still lingers, no matter how hard you’ve scrubbed. 🙂 As long as we’re doing our best to walk in excellence according to God’s Word – which includes taking care of ourselves and our families (and not minimizing or excluding this as a priority) – we can breathe a sigh of relief, rest in the Lord, and release ourselves from unrealistic expectations (whether real or, most likely, perceived). Then we can be about our Father’s business…

“28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30)

© Copyright 2017 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Capturing THIS Moment: A Celebration of Life

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LIFE = Love In Full Expression
Kayren’s “definition of life” – February 2017

The vat of cheap bubble gel I bought over month ago for a leisurely dream bath (replete with candles) mocks me as it sits by the tub…unused. Each day, I’ve rationalized that “a shower is quicker and more convenient” when I’m exhausted after yet another long day, but I know I’m just putting it off. One small but significant act of self-care could have slowed down my merry-go-round of life for just a few moments – but I let the opportunity slip through my fingers like grains of sand. Today is the day I needed a bubble bath most…over a month ago. Get the picture?

In the past month, I’ve experienced the unexpected passing of my father-in-law, the joyous wedding of my nephew, a reflective Valentine’s Day with my wonderful hubby of nearly 17 years, and the commemorative 14th birthday of my firstborn son. Whew – talk about a sentimental time! With all of these life events touching significant men in my life, I’ve been calling my own daddy a lot more frequently – and the support on the other end of the phone has been vital, timely, and greatly appreciated. To say that these life events have taken me on an emotional roller coaster may not be an accurate analogy. Perhaps the churn of a washing machine more closely describes the variety of “cycles” I’ve whizzed through (at an accelerated pace) in a relatively short time span.

Which brings me to this unpoetic moment (inelegantly – yet perhaps appropriately – orchestrated by my dishwasher droning in the background) that I’m capturing to do what I encourage so many others to do in order to stay spiritually and emotionally healthy: journal. My cup nearly ran over today as I teetered dangerously close to the edge (trying to look like I’m keeping it together but I really wanted to go sit undisturbed in a dark closet for a few minutes to savor the silence and stillness). My mental filter was clogged and I needed to download and offload the multitude of thoughts cluttering my mind, heart, and soul. Yep, I was bracing for impact as I anticipated the sound of me smacking the wall. Nevertheless, God in His infinite grace used His strategically-placed children to pull me out of the melancholy. Because I still have a job to do for the King of Kings. My itty-bitty fickle feelings haven’t exempted me from fulfilling my purpose or completing my assignment. So I get back on track.

And I rejoice in this moment because I have much for which to be grateful. From now on, I will think of life in terms of “love in full expression” – it runs the gamut of highs and lows, ups and downs, sweet and bitter, laughter and tears – and spans everything in between. Love and life are inextricably intertwined. And I’m learning each day that God intentionally designed it that way. It solidifies my need for Him – my utter dependence on Him for every moment of every day…not just when I feel like my tank is low or empty because I’ve come to the end of my own sufficiency. What amazing grace from an awesome God…worthy of celebration. Take this moment to render a heartfelt worship to your Creator; it will shift and align you back into proper position to hear His next instruction. At least that’s what happened for me today…

“18 When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up.
19 In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”
(Psalm 94:18-19)
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
(John 14:6)

© Copyright 2017 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Taking Inventory, Measuring Growth

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What a full year it’s been; I have MUCH to be thankful for – and I’m sure you do, too! The “Watch Me Grow” chart with the giraffe comes to mind – you know, the one where a parent measures how tall their child is growing every so often? It felt like God kept His spiritual measuring stick handy for me in 2016, but thinking back over the year, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every step of the journey was preparation for what is yet to come.

In retrospect, God has kept my family through one transition after another, and I am grateful. One of the most significant adjustments was the mid-year 180⁰ career change of my spouse. Prior to that, God sustained us during a stint when my hardworking hubby endured a 3rd Shift role with valiant strength and dogged determination that ministered volumes to our family and friends alike. Both children are in middle school and are successfully navigating those potentially turbulent waters with the God’s grace, parental patience, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance and protection. Were things perfect in my family this year? By no means – but I am a witness that consistently-applied discipline DOES indeed bring forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness! 🙂

I’ve put a renewed focus on my personal role within the ministry of marriage as we celebrated our “Sweet 16 Wedding Anniversary” for an entire month. As I committed to make my 40th year on the planet fabulous every day (and it has a wonderful celebration filled with glitter, laughter, tears, and joy!), I learned that a sign of true maturity is to admit the things I don’t know (and to be okay with it) – this was a liberating epiphany (especially since I consider myself to be a planner extraordinaire)! I’ve learned to embrace where I am at this specific point in time instead of allowing dissatisfaction to propel me to attempt to achieve some unrealistic and elusive goal that was never mine to begin with.

We’ve mended bridges with family members and friends, realizing that time really does heal all wounds, even though it doesn’t change the past. I’ve learned to extend forgiveness proportional to the amount of times I need to ask for it.

I’ve diligently worked on holding my tongue so I don’t respond before thinking (as much…trust me, this is progress for someone with my DNA – LOL). I’m doing this not through clenched and gritted teeth to “finally take that vow of silence I’ve been threatening forever” (but been woefully unable to make good on – it’s in the genes; what can I say?!). Now, this refined behavior comes from a primary desire to please God and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to be manifested in every facet of my life.

Sometimes we can’t see how much we’ve grown because it’s like waiting for a flower to bloom 5 minutes after we dropped the seed into the dirt – or more accurately, it’s like watching paint dry. We’re too close to the action to be able to fully absorb the progress. Yet, by stepping back with objective observation through a time lapse lens, we notice the flower unfurl, the seed begin to sprout and bring forth abundance, and our personal growth and development come forth according to God’s Word. I encourage you to take inventory of your own growth over this past year – you may be surprised to see that, though you’re not where you intend to be, you’ve far surpassed your starting point…and this, my friend, is indeed praiseworthy!

Join me in looking ahead to a new year full of promise and potential with joyful anticipation…God’s best is yet to come!

“20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”
(Lamentations 3:20-26)

 © Copyright 2016 by Kayren J. Cathcart