let it go

Target Acquired: Aiming at the Wrong Goal

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Last year, I deliberately chose to get into a home-based business with the stated purpose of bringing in a little extra cash for my family.   My personal goal was to make a minimum purchase once a quarter to maintain active status and be available to supply products when people requested them.  Let the website do the majority of the work – I wasn’t going to hassle anybody.  I had a pretty laissez-faire attitude about the whole thing – no pressure, no stress, have fun.  Little did I know that my underlying desire was to prove that I could juggle more balls than I already had flying through the air.  Was I ever in for a lesson – God will show us what’s really in our hearts!

When the “carrots” of recognition and potential to increase my earnings were dangled in front of me, I started chasing them – hard.  I didn’t realize I was that competitive, because that was not the purpose I initially expressed before undertaking this venture.  When I saw my level of consistency recognized while I wasn’t even trying to gain acknowledgement or accolades, I began to think, “What could I accomplish if I actually put some concentrated effort into this thing?  I can really make it work for me!”  And the flesh took off…but in the process, I allowed someone else’s standard to become my own.  It became impossible for me to maintain.  And I had to admit that I wasn’t truly trusting God to be my Source.  I was trying to be my own waymaker…a major no-no!  By extricating myself from the business by the end of the year (when I finally saw the light of my true, ugly, impure motives), I wasn’t admitting defeat – I was confessing that I’d started out on a faulty premise and built on a shaky foundation.  Humbling?  Yes.  Less costly than continuing to charge until I ran smack into the wall?  Thank the Lord, yes.

Ask yourself, “Did someone else set this goal for me?”  If so, that makes for ill-constructed aspirations.  You’ll reach the finish line and you won’t even appreciate or enjoy the prize – because it’s what someone else wanted you to want.  Selah.

Are you currently championing something you don’t really believe in?  It’s not too late to ask God to redirect your trajectory…

“God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.”

(II Samuel 22:33)

“Can a man be profitable unto God, as he that is wise may be profitable unto himself?

Is it any pleasure to the Almighty, that thou art righteous? or is it gain to him, that thou makest thy ways perfect?”

(Job 22:2-3)

“As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.”

(Ecclesiastes 11:5)

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19)

“Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.”

(Acts 2:28)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Initial Progress Report: Operation Science Fair Project 2011

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God is a WONDER!  He kept me calm yesterday while I helped my son navigate the waters of selecting a Science Fair Project (SFP) idea, and he turned in his Initial Progress Report today (complete with testable question and materials list) – ON TIME!  If this sounds trivial, please reference my aforementioned aversion to Science Fair Projects.  This is nothing short of a miracle. 

We were so excited about getting started that we did the experiment part together (thanks to a Monday night homework sheet designed to jump start the SFP process) – I guided him to something not-too-intricate…for both of our sakes. 🙂  Through this learning opportunity, my young apprentice will learn “What materials float best on water.”  We selected a piece of wood, a hair pin, a penny, a cotton ball, a plastic ring, and I added a Cheerio at the end because I was DETERMINED to see something float.

I even backed up (from hovering over him and controlling the process like the helicopter mom that I am) to let him put each item in the water and take it out, too.  Ooooh…ahhhh!  The point of the SFP is for the student to enjoy the delight of discovery, right? Yada, yada, yada…my point is to get it over with, but I know God is working on my attitude with this set of circumstances.

As if that weren’t fantastic enough for one day, I also pulled my daughter’s second tooth and made my hubby’s requested pancake dinner…in spite of the fact that a fresh batch of whole wheat spaghetti with ground turkey was already lovingly cooked during my abundant free time this weekend – LOL!  Yes, God gave me His strength because I chose to obey Him and allow Him to change my heart, and I’m grateful.  Not because it was Valentine’s Day, but because of His unconditional love that keeps us from failing.  We’re halfway through the SFP – yippee!  Okay, maybe not halfway through, since there’s also a research paper to do (I will cross that bridge when I come to it), but we’ve made progress.  As my dad says, “How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!”  Here’s to digesting our first bite…

Needless to say, SuperWoman has left the building…I am duly exhausted.  G’nite! 

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

 Nevertheless you have done well that you shared in my distress.”

(Philippians 4:13-14, NKJV) 

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Fix It Up Anyway: The Illusion of “As Is”

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This one’s short, sweet, and to the point…

While waiting for the train yesterday, I was struck by the realization that most folks don’t want to change.  Why?  Because we don’t feel like it.  Or we don’t think we need to.  We’re think we’re fine just the way we are.  In the spirit of full disclosure, you should know that I happen to be one of those change-resistant people.  I am maturing as I begin to appreciate the integral, intrinsic, and essential role of change in my personal growth. 

When you buy something, like a car – even if it has a tag on it that reads “For Sale AS IS” – don’t you have a right to fix it up?  Of course you do!  So why do we attempt to block God’s right to change our hearts?  Sure, He receives us “as is,” but He wants to work on us to improve our value.  He purchased us with the costly blood of His only Son, Jesus.  Therefore, if He wants to strip the old paint of emotional baggage from us or bang some dents out of our flawed character, we must allow Him access to do so.

As Christians, our relationship with Christ is not static, but it is dynamic and ever-changing.  Which means that, as He fixes us up for His glory, we have to change.  Daily.  What will you allow God to change in you today?

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

(I Corinthians 6:19-20)

 © Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Deafening Silence: Cutting Through the Clutter of Noise

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“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

– Epictetus, philosopher 

Now that things are quieting down in my atmosphere, I realize how much turmoil I’d been stirring up in my own life just by being involved in – and caught up in – idle activity.  Classic case of the good thing vs. the God thing.  Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it.  I’m not called to be anyone’s savior; I must point them to The Savior.  I can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves.  I heave a sigh of relief as I release the cares of the world that I never should’ve picked up in the first place. 

A glimpse into my prayer of realignment:

So I finally find myself alone in Your presence, Lord.  What comfort, what joy to return to the waiting arms of My Creator, the One Who understands me – and loves me still.  What great and necessary steps to take in preparation for ministering the song “With All My Heart” (“in this quiet place with You, I bow before Your throne…”).  A slight nod, a tip of the hat, and a wave of my hand was the most I could give you before uttering an exhausted “Thank You, Lord” that could scarcely be categorized as a prayer before tumbling into bed.  How that must grieve You when You ask for my best.  You gave Your best gift, so why should I not follow Your lead?  What a travesty that I haven’t made bowing or quiet before You my #1 priority.  Please forgive me Lord, I pray…

How do you spend your time?  It’s currency, you know!  Whether wisely invested or foolishly frittered away, time doesn’t stay – it goes.  The critical question is:  Where is your time going?  If you don’t know, can you really be considered an effective steward over this valuable commodity our Lord has entrusted to you?  If you do know and it went in a direction not guided by the Holy Spirit, but instead was influenced by worldly desires and fleshly lusts, repentance is in order.

How our time is spent directly correlates to and accurately reflects our heart’s true priorities.  Big time bandits and thieves include technological advances, cleverly disguised as conveniences or creature comforts (to name a few:  mindless TV-watching; unedifying movies; sensual music; flesh-gratifying games, hobbies, and pastimes; gossipy magazines; carnal websites; and leisurely activities) that capture your attention to divert it from time well-spent with Christ – communing, fellowshipping, and learning of Him, His character, His plan and will for your life, and His wisdom for you today.

I couldn’t hear God clearly through the distortion caused by a muddled multitude of voices competing for my undivided attention – quite impossible!  That’s what you call an unrealistic expectation. 🙂  So I had to silence some voices by shuttin’ ‘em down.  Serious business, because they were loud.  But my peace is priceless.  Getting off the dizzying, speeding merry-go-round, I’m finally regaining my equilibrium and balance.  Steady now!  Swooning and careening, I can’t believe how long I was “under the influence.”  But now I’m free and I see reality.  Please purge, purify, and cleanse me, Lord.  Make me white as snow.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

(Psalm 46:10)

“… but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.”

(I Thessalonians 4:10b-12)

© Copyright 2011 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Take Another Look: Before and After

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Many times when I’m at home, I eat “on the go” while standing up at the counter.  Today, God nudged me to slow my pace and sit down at the table.  Really?  OK.  I opened the curtains to survey my backyard while I enjoyed my lunch.  Sure, I see my backyard all the time.  But today, I took a moment to really look at it.  And what I saw surprised me.

Today is overcast, gray, and cloudy.  The badminton net my hubby triumphantly struggled to anchor to the ground has blown over into defeated crumple.  A lone bird sits atop a neighbor’s roof.  The box where our garden thrived has been cleared out; it’s an empty space now.  Not one leaf remains on the tree swaying in the cold, biting wind.  Palm tree stumps – all that’s left of what got hewn down after the first frost – sit staunchly as if waiting for warmth that is nowhere in sight.  Huge patches of brown grass outnumber sprigs of rapidly fading green grass.  What a bleak and dreary picture.

It seemed like just a few weeks ago when birds chirped happily as they raided the bird feeders.  Sunbeams streamed through puffy clouds on the backdrop of a bright blue sky, sometimes laced with a delightful rainbow if we peeked at the right time.  Our garden yielded a weekly bounty of fresh vegetables bursting with life.  The green palm trees my hubby planted waved in the warm gentle breeze.  Leaves and cherry blossoms filled another tree, and a lush carpet of grass invited us out to play until sunset.  Yet, looking at the backyard reminded me of the importance – and inevitable passing – of the seasons.  After having a kinda “blah” day yesterday, I needed that message:  this too shall pass. 

I love watching makeover shows like “What Not To Wear,” “How Do I Look,” “Neat,” and “Clean House.”  Seeing the transformation of a person’s thought patterns – as evidenced by an improvement in their personal appearance or a new arrangement of their living space – is intriguing to me.  Perhaps this backyard glimpse was just the reminder I needed that God’s promise of newness will surely accompany the approach of Spring.  I am thankful for the quiet moment of reflection as I anticipate God’s promises yet to be fulfilled…a new year awaits around the corner, doesn’t it?

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

(II Corinthians 5:17) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Old Keys

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After my hubby recently got a new front door installed, he then installed a new lock and gave me the new key.  I put it on my already full key ring, right next to the old (and now obsolete) house key.  Why was I keeping the old key?  I reasoned, “I’ll put the new key next to the old one so the old shape can trigger a reminder that I need to select and use the new one.”  Sound convoluted?  I agree.  But worse, I realized this morning that I have a bunch of old keys that I’m carrying around every day in my purse – to what avail?

Let’s see…I have the copies of my mom’s old 4-door Pontiac 6000 that I drove during sophomore year of college when I had a spring internship (yes, that was in the late 1990s), AND consequently, that car was sold a long time ago.  Yeah, I suppose I could get rid of those two useless keys.  Then there’s the key to my grandmother’s house (rest her soul; she passed away two years ago on Thanksgiving Day); I suppose I’m keeping that for sentimental reasons.  Since I haven’t lived at that address for 10 years, and they’ve since added a deadbolt (for which I don’t have the key), that’s not doing me any good! 

So really, I guess the only key I need to carry on a daily basis is my current house key (for the new door) and my current vehicle keys.  Organization really is God’s plan to simplify our lives.  But I could’ve attested to that yesterday while cleaning out my purse when I (finally) discarded receipts and grocery lists over 6 months old…geez, old clutter can accumulate unawares until it becomes a mountain…attack first! And wouldn’t you know that today’s Weight Watchers meeting talked about “having a ceremony to retire our old materials – get rid of ‘em; they won’t work anymore!” since we’ll be learning about a completely new program rolling out after Thanksgiving?  I’ve got more “throwing out” to do; God really knows how to underscore a message…

The moral of this diatribe:  Get rid of old baggage that serves no purpose in your present.  A key is only as valuable as what it’s able to unlock.  What “old keys” (or memories, thoughts, habits, photos, or other items) do you need to discard today?

“And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.”

(Mark 2:22)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Lasting Change

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It’s slowly dawning on me that I really don’t want the “old way” anymore.  And it’s exciting to see myself changing, because I did the “old way” very well for so long!  This past weekend, I had my first ice cream cone of the year with my family.  And that was it – one ice cream cone after a balanced dinner at home.  No secretly sneaking to eat it alone between meals in a room behind closed doors. (If it sounds like the “old way” took a lot of scheming and energy, go with that – you’re right).  I didn’t revisit the freezer for a 2nd or 3rd cone (glorious change!).  I was truly content with eating in a more healthy way that would profit my body.  I didn’t even feel deprived when I gave my children some ice cream for dessert last night; I passed up my portion. 

Additionally, God made a way of escape for me when my hubby wanted to treat us to Sunday dinner out so I wouldn’t have to cook – he selected a buffet.  I didn’t say anything to him that morning (gotta appreciate your spouse’s thoughtfulness!), but I prayed that God would give me wisdom in selecting foods from the buffet that would glorify Him and not stuff my body full of junk.  And you know what?  By that afternoon, my hubby had changed his mind – without me saying a word (imagine that!).  He decided that we could eat at home, save some dough (yippee!), and I still didn’t have to cook because we’d prepared well a few days before and had plenty in the fridge.  I was so delighted to eat a chicken breast sandwich topped with bleu cheese dressing, fresh spinach, and red grapes at home!  When I remarked to my hubby, “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten something this healthy at the buffet,” he agreed and we both laughed.

I am grateful that God wouldn’t allow me to eat myself to death – literally.  Why?  Because He has a purpose and a plan for my life that I must fulfill.  So it is with you, my friend.  If you’re facing something that seems absolutely insurmountable and you haven’t gotten victory over it the past 10 times you tried to overcome it, I encourage you to try one more time.  But this time, allow God to change your heart (give Him free reign, holding nothing back for yourself) so you can change your mind, and your lifestyle will begin to change.  He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I am a witness!

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Gravity Works in My Favor

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For the first time in a VERY long time, the scale is actually reading about 10 pounds less…with me standing on it.  Who would’ve thought I’d actually see results this time?  Not me – at first.  Then I kept checking the scale week after week, and it was going down – a pound here, a pound there.  I was hesitant to believe it – and I definitely wasn’t gonna write about it in case I was just dreaming and someone had to shake me back to reality and say, “No honey, you’re still as heavy as you were – wake up!” 

At the beginning of the year, a good friend of mine told me she wanted to lose 40 pounds by her birthday in July.  It sounded rather impossible for me to apply her enthusiasm to my own need to lose the same amount – as my doctor had been gently nudging me to do (then firmly insisting) for the past few years.  Though I wasn’t convinced it could work for me this time, she chirped, “It breaks down to about 2 pounds a week” and I decided that was considerably more manageable to attack than 40 pounds in one fell swoop.  Plus, she said I’d inspired her to be more healthy (imagine that!), so because I wanted to be supportive of her efforts, I agreed to be her accountability partner as we built healthier habits into our daily lifestyles.

She has lost over 15 pounds and is well on her way to reaching her goal.  I’ve lost about 10 pounds (though I was really hoping more than I was believing I’d lose any weight at all), my knees don’t hurt anymore, and I’m feeling ready to run around in the yard with my children when the warm weather arrives.  It’s remarkable how changing your perspective can improve your quality of life!

I didn’t get liposuction (who has money laying around for that these days? and I certainly don’t want anyone carving on me like a Thanksgiving turkey), I didn’t get scammed and subsequently disappointed by the newest “miraculous fat melting pill/powder/beverage fad” (to take my money without delivering results), I haven’t starved myself (though I’m convinced that camels really can live off their humps, and I do have plenty of calories stored up), I haven’t missed any meals (just made the ones I eat healthier and more proportionate), and I have added a little exercise to my week (there’s always room for improvement).  Good ol’ fashioned discipline.  Taking in fewer calories than I burn off.  Not eating everything that comes across my path and isn’t nailed down.  I had to change my mind first – then my body followed.

Can you tell how incredulous I am about the whole thing?  It’s nothing short of amazing, in my opinion.  Yet, with the right input, you can have favorable results.  Since I’d been putting in junk, I was getting excess calories.  When I started putting in more fruit, veggies, and water – voila! – the excess pounds begin to melt away.  Not only am I responsible for taking thoughtful stewardship of my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, I am also responsible for setting a godly example for others – including my children.  My lifestyle must witness louder than my words.  Finally, my convictions are translating into action and change.  And better health is just one of many benefits I’m reaping.

It all adds up…to less.  I am grateful that God is at work in my life.  Can you hear the chisels and jackhammers?

“Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”

(I Timothy 6:19)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Purging In Progress!

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Propelled by the momentum of discarding old, unnecessary materials at work and organizing what remains, I made a major leap forward this weekend – I attacked (and conquered) the angst-evoking clutter corner in my kitchen!  Celebrate with me!  I was so ashamed of the piles of 3-ring binders, year-old children’s artistic masterpieces, choir rehearsal lyric sheets, Christmas photo cards, expired coupons that I’d had every good intention of using, et cetera…but I had also become complacent about it – can you relate?  I’d cook, load the dishwasher, disinfect my countertops, and sweep the floor, but that menacing corner always lurked just beyond the grasp of my ever-elusive ideal of being “finally organized.” 

Well, this weekend, I made a decision to just do it – no matter how tired or disheartened I felt (and believe me, I felt both!).  I even rediscovered (and subsequently tossed out – devoid of my usual emotional attachment) a boarding pass from a summer 2008 plane trip…don’t ask – of course I had no clue it was there, so I won’t miss it.  I wasn’t even saving it for sentimental reasons; it had just accumulated, like most of the other bits and pieces straining my poor, overburdened little side table.  And you know what?  I felt better when I was done – because the seemingly overwhelming task that had loomed overhead for far too long had been completed…at last.  After that, I pressed on toward the office – another potential abyss of clutter pandemonium (to which I was a chief contributor).  With a furrowed and resolute brow, I declared war on the army of boxes that had assembled in the middle of my floor; I think I won the battle.  Some contents were discarded; the contents of other boxes were consolidated.  And the Earth did not stop rotating or revolving because I threw some stuff away – what a relief!

Before I could ever change my external environment, I had to change my mind – and that was preceded by allowing God to change my heart.  It was (and continues to be!) a process…one that took (and is still taking!) time and patience.  And growth and maturity.  And a commitment to change.  We don’t like to admit that “our stuff ain’t working,” but God is gentle, patient, kind, and loving as He guides us into what we deem to be new territory.  So I guess my Pastor’s sermon series on “Allowing God to Do a New Thing” is really taking root…and bearing fruit.  I am grateful. 🙂

 “For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”

(II Peter 1:8-9)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Starting Small: Every Victory Counts

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Everything has changed.  My company’s merger has come and gone, leaving behind altered team structures, roles, and job responsibilities.  So why have I been holding onto the past?  I too must change.

Today, I discarded contents of files I’d had from 2 managers ago – now neither of them is with the company.  I seriously doubt that they reminisce about our extended series of meetings to map out the departmental communication strategy, nor do I think they’d be saddened to know that I tossed out memorabilia to commemorate said gathering.  Because they’ve moved on.  And so must I.

If my desk clutter was any indication of what I’ve been retaining and storing in the cavities and recesses of my brain, draining energy and life from my own present, then I’ve got a lot more mental purging to do!  Glad I don’t have to tackle this alone…

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

(Philippians 1:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart